Boy don’t try to front…

William Dalrymple has a must read book review of Ahmed Rashid’s “Pakistan in Peril Descent into Chaos,” in the New York Review of Books that I should summarize for SM readers. Man Booker Prize winner Aravind Adiga has published a short story in The New Yorker this week titled, “The Elephant” that I should also critique. Finally, Foreign Policy magazine has an article about how India scuttled Richard Holbrooke’s potential involvement in the Kashmir conflict that I know would make for a great debate on our site. But honestly, I am just tired of trying to front like I am smart or something. Instead, I just want to blog this trashy clip from my girl Tyra Bank’s show earlier this week. It features a desi guy that now goes by the porn-king sounding name “Shawn Valentino.”

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The first thing I am going to do is to re-do my SM business card now and put a picture of me blogging shirtless on it. I’ve “traveled the world.” I am “open minded.” I just want to “teach other people to be comfortable with themselves,” too! This guy really is a guru. He has convinced me too stop pretending to be something I am not. From here on out its business time all the time.

76 thoughts on “Boy don’t try to front…

  1. Every time he uses a 3+ syllable word they cut to the Britney mantra, what’s up with that? This guy is the anti-model minority myth, without the use of needles, just roofies and nair!

  2. Oh my god, he’s publishing a self-help book, you guys. From youtube:

    “ADD SHAWN VALENTINO on MYSPACE and FACEBOOK: “The Hollywood Showstopper” Shawn Valentino gives his first national television interview on the Tyra Banks Show. See The One Man Revolution go face to face with The World’s Biggest Supermodel. This is the start of his promotional tour for his upcoming self-help book that he hopes will open up many people minds to different life choices, The Showstopper Lifestyle. Watch Valentino as he attempts to tell the world to be confident with yourself as an individual and to maximize life experiences.”

    He’s actually proud of that interview….

  3. Just curious, why did you remove the part about what his real name is?

    Ethical reasons I’d rather not go in to. If someone knows him though I won’t delete their comment.

  4. I feel so bad for him. OMG – he gives S. Asians a bad name…er…a bad pseudo-name.

  5. i see that one of the tags for this post is ‘literature.’ :) abhi, i will never ever doubt your ‘open-mindedness.’

  6. FOB-IO! (A term we like to use for the men that look like they stepped out of a bad bollywood movie. Sign that he’s a ‘fobio’ – leather necklace and and open collared shirt. This guy has it written all over him.)

    I wonder what law school he went to…

  7. so india succeeds diplomatically by keeping holbrooke out of its trash. pakistan sees that america has kashmir delinked from the instability there and in afghanistan. so then what? will an extra 100k american troops in afghanistan show pakistan that america is there to stay and its in their interest to destroy the taliban? Or will they hold onto delusions that the taliban is needed for afghanistan to once again become a vassal state for pakistan, a place where the pak army could perhaps regroup when those dastardly Indians finally after decades decide to make a play for it all.

    Rashid’s insinuating that the Mumbai attackers were probably trained by ex ISI personnel is telling as the man is a prominent and respected journalist in Pakistan. If what was done in Mumbai was not enough to bring Indian troops to the border or bring Kashmir to the world’s forefront, will they go for something bigger next? And how will Obama react when something else, bigger or as big happens again and India at that time exercises the military option.

  8. OH my god! I can’t believe this guy got on the Tyra show!

    I remember when he handed me his card at the North American Bengali Conference this summer.

    We had to show it to everyone, I couldn’t even believe it.

    He had so many occupations listed on that card! It was HILARIOUS!

    We were trying to figure out what his bengali name must be.

    I can’t believe I’m seeing this on Sepia Mutiny.

    I’m a lurker, but I just had to comment.

  9. The title of the book is “Descent into Chaos” and not “Pakistan in Peril”. On a side note, there was an article I read recently on the Interwebs that the CIA is working on an agenda to split India into several countries by 2020. Very credible, of course, as all such reports are on the Interwebs. Which makes one wonder if they don’t have similar designs for Pakistan. Isolate Punjab from Sindh, Balochistan and the FATA and probably all of NWFP (Talibanistan / Pashtunistan)thereby isolating the beardos and the nukes. The news these days is so cheery that even Shawn Valentino seems a welcome respite.

  10. How does this guy support himself and afford that lifestyle? Who would hire him as an attorney (unless he’s of the daytime informercial kind)?

    And what must his PARENTS think??

  11. K, so I never comment on here (yes, a lurker also), but he gave me his card at NABC and gave me the line he talked about on the show before taking a picture with me. I thought it was strange, but didn’t see the harm in it… wish I hadn’t now. After taking the picture, we drifted our own separate ways. The whole thing was so strange, I was sure it was some sort of joke. But it wasn’t.

    I also know his name, but I won’t put it out there (he’s Anglocized it, fyi)… and he’s as bad as he’s shown on The Tyra Show. Really. He’s got no real respect for females. And I’m ashamed to say he’s Bengali. :(

  12. I too am outraged and more importantly concerned that he is a sign of our times. What is happening to our desi youth…choosing law, writing, and modeling over medschool? Unacceptable.

  13. This guy bat’s for both teams.

    But Tyra is a huge @#*#. Woman, you made a living by having people take pictures of you with a string up your ass. You are in no position to judge anyone.

  14. 19 · Heer said

    The title of the book is “Descent into Chaos” and not “Pakistan in Peril”. On a side note, there was an article I read recently on the Interwebs that the CIA is working on an agenda to split India into several countries by 2020. Very credible, of course, as all such reports are on the Interwebs. Which makes one wonder if they don’t have similar designs for Pakistan. Isolate Punjab from Sindh, Balochistan and the FATA and probably all of NWFP (Talibanistan / Pashtunistan)thereby isolating the beardos and the nukes. The news these days is so cheery that even Shawn Valentino seems a welcome respite.

    The United States also has battle plans drawn up on how to invade Canada and Mexico. Just because they have plans sitting in a filing cabinet somewhere doesn’t mean they actually intend to implement them. It just means it helps to be prepared. Suppose the US and India did end up fighting a war with each other. Wouldn’t it be smart for the US to have options on the table ready to go? It’s forward thinking even if it is a waste of resources.

  15. Dear Shawn,

    You da man. I is feeling that you give aspiring attorney-models-world travellers like me renewed hope that having fun and maximising life is possible.

    I think all the people on the Tyra banks show are repressed, unhappy women who don’t have jobs. Why else would they me watching daytime television?

    Keep fighting the good fight.

  16. every time i’d start to feel a twinge of pity for this guy, tyra cut to some more photos. he must have major issues if he finds five-minute “relationships” to be fulfilling.

  17. 25 · ShallowThinker said

    But Tyra is a huge @#*#. Woman, you made a living by having people take pictures of you with a string up your ass. You are in no position to judge anyone.

    This Tyra Banks is a Mapplethorpe fan too?

  18. Did two separate topics become merged somehow? I’m not sure how a discussion about geopolitics crept its way into a thread about Shawn “Bro-skie” Valentino.

  19. If the guy is comfortable and honest about who he is/what he does and women go for it, more power to him and the ladies. Different strokes for different folks. The assumption is that while a man is a “womanizer” the women are helpless and somehow being duped. What about the women who aren’t looking for a commitment? If the dude was a con artist, then it’s definitely wrong. If both parties got what they want from the exchange, be it some flirting, companionship, or more, who cares?

  20. yet another example of the reverse sexism pervading today’s society. also, enough with the more-feminist-than-though attitude.

  21. It seemed like Tyra was really trying to make him “look bad”. point is, he does nt give a rat’s tail. In fact, this gets him more publicity. by the way, towards the end of part two, that clean shaven headed analyst made some point about, It does nt matter who you are… (pointing at Shawn) “UPS guy” — whatnow ? What can BROWN do for you?? Seems like too much of a connection to be a random example. haha.

  22. Shawn: “I’m very very excited about life in general.” Me too, Shawn. Me too.

    Tyra: “I know this one guy, years ago, like he had a booklet with all the names of the women he slept with.” Um, Casanova, Tyra?

    Wow, what a jerk. He is incredibly rude to the women he meets.

    That was refreshing, Abhi. I look forward to your posts. Ladies, be warned! Desi male attorneys are basically the devil.

  23. If Shawn is lookin for a commitment,will he prefer a woman of his category?A woman who puts the pictures of men she flirted with or dated or slept with

  24. Re Neale: “Those 2 ladies , sitting in the corner, were downright rude !”

    He agressively invaded their space uninvited.
    The women were justified in being straightforward and honest while trying to get rid of the guy as fast as possible.

    He’s straight up and should be(and seems to be) able to handle straight up women too.

  25. The women are to be blamed just as much as this tool. Why would you take a pic with a dude like him in the first place? Weird.

  26. 43 · sunzari said

    Why would you take a pic with a dude like him in the first place? Weird.

    so they’ll let you into the military, or something.

  27. Here’s some thoughts from a desi phd grad student who hasn’t had much (actually any) luck with women. Feeling slightly riled that a nit-wit like Shawn Valentino can get all the women he wants while genuine nice guy (ahem) like me is sitting in his lab with his d*** in his hand, I immediately came up with a theory that would restore my lost pride and make me feel superior again.

    I deconstructed this person and realized that he has discovered 3-4 sentences that seem to do the trick (‘excited about life’, ‘travelled the world’, etc….). He has a script and a style, and he sticks to it no matter what. Some women can see through it immediately and shoo him away, but there are enough who fall for it.

    Of course, I am smarter than that. If I wanted I could do the same too. Instead, I choose to sit on my high chair and survey the world, and feel good about myself. There are moments of self doubt, but my superior reasoning powers can immediately conjure a theory that quickly put these doubts to rest.

  28. He has a script and a style, and he sticks to it no matter what. Some women can see through it immediately and shoo him away, but there are enough who fall for it.

    some deconstruction

  29. I grew up with S*** Mukherjee in Michigan. Would see him at Durga Puja every year. Who knew the chubby little shy kid would turn into “Shawn Valentino”? Definitely wonder what his mom thinks. His dad passed away sometime ago.

  30. This guy is lame but I think I understand the root of his problem. I mean you grow up desi in America and even if you aren’t a total nerd, you still struggle trying to fit into the slutty aspects of American culture. We all see it in HS and college and on TV. Indian dudes are just not sex obejcts and not usually part of that slut-fest that we see most of the white kids taking part in.

    So I can kinda see how he equates material things, like how many women he’s slept with or how many countries he’s been to, with happiness. I’m not as sleazy as he is but I have to admit as I got older and past college I became a lot more aggressive and started hitting on girls in clubs. Contrary to what anyway thinks, it actually worked for me. I actually score now and then whereas before my only hope was my mom setting me up with some chick.

    So whatever. This guy is extreme for sure, but I sorta understand where he’s coming from. And yeah, let’s not pretend that the women he “victimizes” are innocent too. There are so many chicks that don’t want anything serious. It is not 1950. Hell, I met a lot of girls who totally don’t want anything serious. They just want to fuck around. THen they hit like 28-30 and they want a husband but they’re so use to being slutty that they don’t know how to settle down. But whatever, that’s another story.

  31. 48 · Lame said

    I understand the root of his problem. …….

    Does he really have a “problem”? Why should be expect everyone to conform? People are not clones, so let him be without putting any ‘problem’ label. wait. Tyra has a problem, palin has a problem, heck, obama has a problem .. By the way, his model is actually the most transparent one, he does not lead girls on at least. He is not really a player in that sense. He is almost like the Osho types without any masks.

    that slut-fest that we see most of the white kids taking part in.

    Somebody is forgetting our african brothas here, hm?

    Contrary to what anyway thinks, it actually worked for me. I actually score now and then whereas before my only hope was my mom setting me up with some chick.THen they hit like 28-30 and they want a husband but they’re so use to being slutty that they don’t know how to settle down. But whatever, that’s another story.

    Amen on scoring. So these chicks, are you including desi chicks also in this group?