If the pop culture ref I used for my title didn’t float your yacht, try this one from tipster Raj, who single-handedly ruined my afternoon by sending us the bad news:
“Oh my God !! They killed Asok, you Bastards!!”
A moment of silence, please, for the adorable, paavam*, wide-eyed IIT alum who will no longer be available for scapegoating and abuse. Wait a second…maybe he’s better off away from Wally, the Pointy-haired Boss and everyone else he (got) worked (over) by.
Asok (pronounced “a-shook”) is an intern in the Dilbert comic strip. He is a brilliant graduate from the Indian Institute of Technology…Asok often solves difficult problems in a few keystrokes, but he is still naïve to the cruelties and politics of the business world. As a result, he often ends up being the scapegoat for his coworkers’ antics. Despite many years as an intern, and performing the functions of a senior engineer, Asok has been denied permission to be a regular employee and the usage of company resources for his work.
It has been mentioned that Asok once lived in the handicapped stall of the bathroom; he later moved to a storage facility (but was only allowed an hour leave for moving by the Pointy-Haired Boss). Asok is also trained to sleep only on national holidays, a trait that he allegedly carried over from his alma mater. In addition, he was trained during his time at the Indian Institute of Technology in telekinesis, using it once to vaporize an obnoxious Texan and more recently to stealthily steal donuts in a meeting, and remove asbestos from the office. As well, he has mentioned that he has the ability to reheat his tea by holding a cup to his forehead and think about fire. Asok appears to be a fan of Indian music: in the animated episode “Art” he is shown listening enthusiastically to a female vocalist singing in Hindi. Recently, the Pointy-Haired Boss announced that Asok died while on a test of a moon shuttle prototype. Asok had planned to reincarnate into his clone, unfortunately Carol had used the jar containing his DNA as a candy jar. It is not known how Asok will return. [viki]
If you are one of the three people reading this post who has not been exposed to the charm of Asok, read on:
Asok: You can use my key to open the box with its teeth.
Dilbert: To open this box I’ll need something stronger than a key.
Asok: I once killed a cougar with this key.
[pause]
Asok: It was a really small cougar.
[pause]
Asok: It might have been a potato. [IMDB]
A-shook, you will be so very missed, especially by our interns here in the bunker, who for some odd reason felt a bizarre solidarity with you. Here’s hoping you are reincarnated, and soon; while many lament the lack of brown faces on television and movies, I feel that the acute insufficiency of desis in comic strips is a cause for just as much, if not more concern.
Asok was a wonderful ambassador of everything right about us– he was the humble, industrious, IIT-educated genius who countered all of those icky images of convenience store clerks and turbaned-yet-beard-free taxi drivers; I mean, we ALL know that everyone in America who is brown is smart and rich, right? Shucks, I’ll bet Asok was upper caste, too.
Considering all that tarradiddle, let us not underestimate the significance of this loss to our community, nay, the entire South Asian diaspora. I mean, why couldn’t Groening have killed off Apu, that other infamous desi cartoon whose name also starts with an “A”? Why did it have to be the fair-skinned, brilliant one, why?
***It’s one of my favorite Malayalam words, one for which I haven’t found a satisfactory English substitute. I think in Tamizzhrl, the correct translation is “chamatha”, but that may be off (and if it is, I’m smacking the Madras-born-and-bred cunning linguist who sold me that noise). Does anyone know what “Paavam” would be in Hindi? There are so many Southie polyglots here, I have faith that one or more of you will be able to figure this out. 😉
Rahul,
I don’t think so. Actually what you said relates to my point. “chamathu” is possibly a short term morphed form of saamarthyam. there are not many tamil words that starts with “sa” sound. in tamil there is just one letter to denote “sa/cha” and pronunciation depends on some rules and the position of the letter in the word.
Ponniyin Selvan & Rahul, I thought that chamathu has the same root as samathuvapuram (சமதà¯à®¤à¯à®µà®ªà¯à®°à®®à¯), which is often translated as “model city”, analogous to how a chamathu boy’s conduct could be held as a model for other kids to emulate. I am not sure if it derives from saamarthyam. It is possible that the word chamathu might be used in the Horlicks sense predominantly by Brahmin households – a brief Google search brought up disproportionately too many TamBrahm-related articles.
Word of caution to the non-habitual-Tam-speakers: calling an adult’s actions or conduct “chamathu” or “samathu” is likely to be perceived to be sarcastic more than it is taken at face value.
was nobody made to drink maltova in their young days? i would have loved to have been the chamathu girl, drinking horlicks and doing homework. alas, i had to settle for maltova 😉
some of my tambram aunties still call me chamathu (and kutti). and i’m hoping they actually mean it at face value…
re asok – oho, paavam antha asok; even though i did not know him, i feel terrible that he was killed off 🙁
on a different note – does kevin from the office remind anybody of point-haired boss?
:-). “samathuvam” means equality, derives from “samam” – equal. It is different than saamarthyam which is tied to (s/c)amathu. Moreover, samathuvapuram does not mean a “model city”, it is more like a city of equals.
Ah! OK, I see the pitfalls of folk etymology, even when a city of equals could indeed considered to be a model worthy of emulation!
This is quite possibly the single killer line that will totally SLAY all pick-up lines:
“So baby, want me to make your fantasies come true?”
“I’d love to. I’ve often fantasised of drinking Horlicks and doing homework.”
Oh, it’s a different story with older relatives – they never think of you as grown up, so no sarcasm would be intended.
oh behave, baby!
i know. but also embarrassing – one aunty introduced me to a ‘prsopective’ as ‘ak’-kutti -and then proceeded to spend 5 minutes talking about how great ‘my ‘ak’-kutti’ is.’ mortifying….
Hoo boy, that must have been rough. What was the likelihood of temporarily changing your name to A.K. Kutty until the aunty stopped talking?
nil…i’m not slick like that, pingpong 😉
Welcome back dear Asok, although I hate Snickers. 🙁
Like Rahul and others put it
Chamathu – Horlicks/Boost/Bournvita imbibing, homework doing, elder respecting Samarthiyam – Clever, smart (and in the right tone might even equate to chaalu) Samathuvam – Equal/ equality
And I did call my mom (in India), she is not sure if it is a tambram word (although it is used a lot in tambram household), but it is a universally (tamil universe people) recognized word. Chamathu is a level above nalla paiyan/ponnu (Nice/good boy/girl). All chamathu kids are nalla kids, but not all nalla kids are chamathu kids. Let’s get a venn diagram going now.
More proof that the Mallus stole things from us, including our language 😉
Asok’s been cloned with an authentic (chocolate) desi complexion this time. Maybe that was the real reason for his untimely demise? I see that the cartoonist has thrown in the word “snickers” to make his intent clear…
If you goto a rural kid (non-Brahmin) and call him “chamathu” he/she would go “blank”. It is like asking “aathula ellarum sowkiyama”. For people who don’t know “aathu ( derived from “agam” ) is the term used by Brahmins to denote home while a lot of others use “veedu” or its variants to denote home. It is not just Brahmins, other castes / other regions have caste/region specific Tamil words which people outside the caste/region would not understand right away. Some words sure are getting an universal appeal thanks to their usage in the media and the popular culture.
Not Ovaltine, ak? Or is that a northie preoccupation?
I am really enjoying this etymological discussion 🙂 [seriously]
Camille, the original formula for Ovaltine was eggs and malt (ova + malt => Ovamaltine => Ovaltine). These days (at least in the US), they seem to have changed the base to malt and solidified whey protein. I wonder if Maltova was intended to be a desi clone of Ovaltine when it was started. Anyway, most of the brands belong to the GlaxoSmithKline group, except for Milo (Nestle) and Bournvita (Cadbury’s). More here.
AK, coming back to your “ak-kutti” episode, I have a hypothesis that the aunty is actually a major fan of Scarface, and unconsciously imitates Al Pacino’s “Say hello to my kutti friend!”. You might want to keep her away from chainsaws just in case.
Karthik, I welcome you to the group of people who have called up their parents in the desh regarding something posted on Sepia Mutiny. It is a small but growing group.
Damn you, pingpong. I tried this last night, and all she did was laugh wickedly and waltz away saying, “I am a Complan girl”, with nary a backward glance in my direction. Maybe, she divined the truth of my childhood where I received few chamathus and many more moththus (not to be confused with muththams, which seems to be more a melbourne desi specialty). Or, maybe kanji is where it’s at, and that explains why I am kaanju kadanthufying.
ak, don’t underestimate the aunty. Maybe she was really talking you up (search for kutti).
at least you get some humor out of it…my introductions, sans my physical presence course, now include very little in the way of humor, “he is tamil boy.” I’m sure my counterpart had little input into her introduction, “she is 2nd-year law student.”
maybe. in hindsight, it’s plausible that i heard more than a few mentions of ‘figure’ in the exchange between them;)
lol. maybe that use of kutti isn’t as scary as the one that rahul referenced above 🙂
camille – i’m not even sure anybody drank maltova besides me and my siblings – perhaps my mother singlehandedly kept their business intact by hording her annual NRI supply 🙂 for years i stayed away from malted drinks (incl. ovaltine) after being forced to gulp down steaming cups of maltova every winter morning.
to which you must have obliged her an ‘I’m a Complan boy.” Though Complan girls are quite ‘healthy’ (in a hatta-khatta sort of way) – have you seen the fact and sugar content in it??
pingpong, may i also say you have a (scarily) impressive knowledge of the malted hot drinks industry.
at least you got the qualifying ‘tamil.’ at some point, i’m sure desperate parents will only deem the ‘boy’ aspect relevant.
Before I scare anyone into thinking that I have the hots for malted drinks, I should disclose that nearly all of whatever I know about them has been posted upthread in #64. The only other fact about malted drinks I know is that Ramanujan once drank Ovaltine and got bombed. Paavam fellow. He probably wished he had read the label before drinking the contents.
Oh no! My favorite character in Dilbert (other than Dogbert)! “ayo pappam!” was my first reaction since I’m a pakka Telegu at heart.
By the way, does anyone know which region in India Asok was from? Or was he just a generic token hard working brownie?
68
I believe Malayalam branchec off from Tamil in the 10th cent AD.
branchec=branched
H1b holder @ 19, Obviously your bosses are auditioning for Office Space II. I sincerely hope you get to attach this to your resignation email soon.
h1b holder (19):
I wish I could say your experience is unique.
I am the solitary ABD in a group of H1b contractors at a Fortune 100 client (with a rather interesting mix of Indian backgrounds, too: Mallu (the majority), Telugu, Punjabi (yours truly), and Maharashtran. We have two non-browns on a team of nine. One of those (is it coincidental that she’s from Texas?) took it upon herself to decorate all our cubes with Christmas ornamentation. She’s also lobbying this group of mostly-vegetarians to cough up cash for a Christmas ham AND a Christmas turkey.
…Unsuccessfully, I might add.
looks like asok is back from the dead — apparently he studied ‘advanced reincarnation and shape-shifting’ at IIT.
Anna,
Sorry to ruin your friday afternoon .. 🙁 .. i wasnt too happy either .. seeing the comic in my blogroll on Friday morning !! ..i havent seen the comic over the weekend .. life doesnt make sense after such a loss !!
Some ppl say ..why did Asok had to die ..!! I think, “Coz, he wuz nice!”
Awww, turn that paren around– no need to be sad or sorry. I’m grateful you sent in the tip. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to use a Tupac lyric in a title? Long.
After reading this, I took it upon myself to choose the “Jewish” cup sleeve when my team went to Starbucks 10 minutes ago. The holiday cups are red, the sleeves are green…and now blue, your choice. I stand in solidarity with Non-Christians who feel annoyed! Because I am often and easily annoyed! No, seriously…the amount of boorishness people display is pathetic. Perhaps I should start a group on Facebook…”Christians Against Christian Assh*les”.
As for the Tamizzhrl Samajam who brought back memories of Bournevita, Horlicks and not doing homework, allow me to echo Camille (and Amitabh presumably, since he’s my language-lovin’ brotha from another motha):
More soon, when I’m at lunch… 🙂
Thanks for the shout out ANNA…I did really enjoy the language discussion… glad to see we have some real Tamil scholars here…and Ponniyin Selvan is the best kind, because he knows the language not only by virtue of having studied it, but because he grew up with it, USES it and he uses it WELL. I have met some people who know Punjabi and Hindi on those intimate levels too and it’s always nice.
Anyway, I still lurk here all the time, but comment less for a number of reasons…I found it was taking up too much time out of my day to always check back and see what responses I got to my comments, taking up even more time to come up with responses to people who responded to me, and most of all, the sarcastic and abrasive tone of certain people took away a lot of the charm. I don’t feel like posting my thoughts here only to have the likes of muralimannered (and others) skewering them. Especially when that’s not how I treat other commenters. But rest assured, if I feel importantly enough about something, I’ll still comment.
Whats a golu?
Just wanted to add…people like Ponniyin’s inputs are extra valuable because they really understand well the social context the language is spoken in also.
This.
Amitabh,
Thanks for your kind comments. Disclaimer: I don’t claim to be an expert (though Tamil and Maths are my favorite subjects in school for which I don’t have to spend much time studying, and If we had a US like education system, would have ended up with a degree in Tamil major/ Maths minor or vice versa.)
PGW, thank you for being so kind (and making me feel sheepish for being so bullish). All gone (mine included).
Paavam is widely used among Tamils too, it’s very common in Tamil Nadu.