Rest in peace, young Desi, there’s a heaven for a G…

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If the pop culture ref I used for my title didn’t float your yacht, try this one from tipster Raj, who single-handedly ruined my afternoon by sending us the bad news:

“Oh my God !! They killed Asok, you Bastards!!”

A moment of silence, please, for the adorable, paavam*, wide-eyed IIT alum who will no longer be available for scapegoating and abuse. Wait a second…maybe he’s better off away from Wally, the Pointy-haired Boss and everyone else he (got) worked (over) by.

Asok (pronounced “a-shook”) is an intern in the Dilbert comic strip. He is a brilliant graduate from the Indian Institute of Technology…Asok often solves difficult problems in a few keystrokes, but he is still naïve to the cruelties and politics of the business world. As a result, he often ends up being the scapegoat for his coworkers’ antics. Despite many years as an intern, and performing the functions of a senior engineer, Asok has been denied permission to be a regular employee and the usage of company resources for his work.
It has been mentioned that Asok once lived in the handicapped stall of the bathroom; he later moved to a storage facility (but was only allowed an hour leave for moving by the Pointy-Haired Boss). Asok is also trained to sleep only on national holidays, a trait that he allegedly carried over from his alma mater. In addition, he was trained during his time at the Indian Institute of Technology in telekinesis, using it once to vaporize an obnoxious Texan and more recently to stealthily steal donuts in a meeting, and remove asbestos from the office. As well, he has mentioned that he has the ability to reheat his tea by holding a cup to his forehead and think about fire. Asok appears to be a fan of Indian music: in the animated episode “Art” he is shown listening enthusiastically to a female vocalist singing in Hindi. Recently, the Pointy-Haired Boss announced that Asok died while on a test of a moon shuttle prototype. Asok had planned to reincarnate into his clone, unfortunately Carol had used the jar containing his DNA as a candy jar. It is not known how Asok will return. [viki]

If you are one of the three people reading this post who has not been exposed to the charm of Asok, read on:

Asok: You can use my key to open the box with its teeth.

Dilbert: To open this box I’ll need something stronger than a key.

Asok: I once killed a cougar with this key.

[pause]

Asok: It was a really small cougar.

[pause]

Asok: It might have been a potato. [IMDB]

A-shook, you will be so very missed, especially by our interns here in the bunker, who for some odd reason felt a bizarre solidarity with you. Here’s hoping you are reincarnated, and soon; while many lament the lack of brown faces on television and movies, I feel that the acute insufficiency of desis in comic strips is a cause for just as much, if not more concern.

Asok was a wonderful ambassador of everything right about us– he was the humble, industrious, IIT-educated genius who countered all of those icky images of convenience store clerks and turbaned-yet-beard-free taxi drivers; I mean, we ALL know that everyone in America who is brown is smart and rich, right? Shucks, I’ll bet Asok was upper caste, too.

Considering all that tarradiddle, let us not underestimate the significance of this loss to our community, nay, the entire South Asian diaspora. I mean, why couldn’t Groening have killed off Apu, that other infamous desi cartoon whose name also starts with an “A”? Why did it have to be the fair-skinned, brilliant one, why?

***It’s one of my favorite Malayalam words, one for which I haven’t found a satisfactory English substitute. I think in Tamizzhrl, the correct translation is “chamatha”, but that may be off (and if it is, I’m smacking the Madras-born-and-bred cunning linguist who sold me that noise). Does anyone know what “Paavam” would be in Hindi? There are so many Southie polyglots here, I have faith that one or more of you will be able to figure this out. πŸ˜‰

84 thoughts on “Rest in peace, young Desi, there’s a heaven for a G…

  1. I mean, why couldnÒ€ℒt Groening have killed off Apu, that other infamous desi cartoon whose name also starts with an Ò€œAÒ€? Why did it have to be the fair-skinned, brilliant one, why?

    hey, apu might not be fair and lovely, but he is certainly brilliant: “…holds a Ph.D. in computer science. He graduated first in his class of seven million at ‘Caltech’ Ò€” the Calcutta Institute of Technology Ò€” going on to earn his doctorate at the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology… His doctoral thesis was the world’s first computer program to play perfect tic-tac-toe.” [link] Also, major playa quotient: “Before his marriage, Apu became known as the leading ladies’ man in Springfield, because he holds a PhD and runs his own business. His sex appeal was enhanced when he admitted, “I’m not much of a talker, but I love to listen. I also like to design and build furniture and then to have a discussion about where it could be placed in a room.” Moreover, he is a vegan. And everybody knows that hot chicks love sensitive vegans. Even puny ones.

  2. I hope I’m not the first commenter, cause this’ll be a downer. But a lot of IT consultants hired through H1 agencies are treated in the same miserable manner that Asok’s profile on Wiki describes. Asok is better off now.

  3. “His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone.”

    I’m guessing Asok caught a showing of Om Shanti Om before he passed away. πŸ™‚

  4. port- πŸ˜‰

    Neale- I laughed. Out loud. Very funny. πŸ™‚

    Shlok- πŸ™ Gosh, I was hoping that I was joking about all that. Your comment wasn’t a downer, it was very necessary.

  5. I saw the comic this morning, and I just KNEW that SepiaMutiny would have posted up on it πŸ™‚ but wait…doesn’t “chamatha” mean sweat; or something to that effect in either tamil or telugu? My family always says “pavum” for poor thing. And in Kannada they say “papa” or something. But I may be wrong on the Kannada part.

  6. “My family always says “pavum” for poor thing.”

    Wouldn’t that make it “be-chare” in Hindi?

  7. I saw the comic this morning, and I just KNEW that SepiaMutiny would have posted up on it πŸ™‚

    We try not to disappoint. πŸ™‚

    but wait…doesn’t “chamatha” mean sweat; or something to that effect in either tamil or telugu?

    I could be spelling it incorrectly…I’m terrible at transliteration.

    My family always says “pavum” for poor thing.

    Mine, too. But it means so much more…like someone who is so sweet, artless, guileless…that’s why it’s one of those Malayalam words I lurve. So much conveyed in two syllables. πŸ™‚

  8. Does anyone know what Ò€œPaavamÒ€ would be in Hindi?

    That would be bechara for one meaning of paavam (poor guy). But that “chamathu” Tamil meaning, which would be used in Malayalam as “avan or verum paavam aanu”, the right Hindi word for that would be “bhola”, I guess.

    Another mallu term for this “kallam kapadam illathavan”

  9. In Punjabi we’d say bachara….which means helpless.

    I’ll pour out little Kingfisher on the sidewalk for my hommie Asok.

  10. I thought “chamathu” meant clever. Said in the way that park ranger from the first Jurassic Park put it when he realized the velociraptors had surrounded him: Clever girl.

  11. but wait…doesn’t “chamatha” mean sweat; or something to that effect in either tamil or telugu?

    in telugu, ‘chamata’ = sweat (‘chamatalu’ = sweat drops), the -ta sound is different from the -tha sound.

  12. Despite many years as an intern, and performing the functions of a senior engineer, Asok has been denied permission to be a regular employee and the usage of company resources for his work.

    WE just had a christmas party @ work , where everyone was invited first. 2 weeks before the party , it was told , contractors ( h1 b holders mostly of indian origin – non employees ) need to make up the time they spend in the party ( about 4 hrs ) and one week before the party , we had one more announcement saying company policy prevents non employees from participating but if they wanted to , they can seek special permission from their managers.

    But it so happened that 90 % of the managers were H1B contractors themselves and so 3 days before the party , there was another announcement that all contractors can join the party. But just one day before the party they wanted the permission from managers to be done and H1b contractors didn’t bother and the christmas party happened 1) without Santa ( we had elected managers and each manager raised funds for charity and the manager who won ( who collected maximum ) was a h1b holder of indian origin and his prize was to dress up as santa ! ) 2) Without the Christmas tree – as the 90 % of the decoration committee was of the h1b holders 3) with more than 60 % of the indian veggie food being wasted , as no one was there to eat it !

  13. This post just hit too close to home. Too close to home.

    I was just thinking that maybe Asok does not provide a good message. Atleast Apu is not being taken advantage of all the time by colleagues. Like many a desi brother (and possibly sisters, although I don’t know any cases) being long-term underpaid, under-promoted while doing a lot for the organization (perhaps like Piggy in the Lord Of The Flies).

    On the other hand, maybe it’s good that this is being brought to light by the strip.

  14. They could try resurrecting him via his “katra”

    He is Asok, not Aspock. Also, a Dilbert clone of the third Star Trek movie would involve Wally wailing “You POINTY haired bastard, you ate my bun! You pointy haired BASTARD, you ate my bun! You POINTY HAIRED BASTARD, you ATE my BUN!”.

  15. While “paavam” in this context translates as “poor guy” (in other contexts it can also mean “sin”, cognate to Sanskrit “paapam”), the closest analogue for “chamathu” is “good”, in the sense of “well-behaved and obediently drinks his Horlicks before finishing his homework early”.

  16. I remember asking a Mumbai born and bred tamil ponnu (who was from Povai) long time back for equivalent word in hindi for ‘paavam.’ She told me ‘chamathu.’

    I used to call her paavam ponnu from povai :))

  17. and if it is, IÒ€ℒm smacking the Madras-born-and-bred cunning linguist who sold me that noise

    Anna, nah. As a Tamil baaiy myself, I think the cunning linguist deserves something pleasant only. You need some clarification, however.

    “Chamatha” is always accompanied by something else. For example “Anna, chamathA iru”, means “Anna, be good.”. On the other hand, “Anna chamathU ponnu” means “Anna is a good girl”. So you see the subtle difference? The former is a instruction/plea/recommendation/request, while the latter is a statement referring to your quality/character.

    And as Priya said, Chamathu is also a term for “clever”. Not “chaloo” clever, but good positive “clever”.

  18. This just in…maybe it’s “chamathu” vs. “chamatha”. πŸ™‚

    Bah! I missed that comment. So yes, it is “chamathU” vs “chamathA”.

  19. tarradiddle… you sooo have that word of the day app on igoogle…

    Nope. I actually had to look up what igoogle was. πŸ™‚ Not allowed to change my homepage at work; my homepage on the ibook is not iGoogle, but iSepia…the better to moderate you rapscallions with.

    Anna, nah. As a Tamil baaiy myself, I think the cunning linguist deserves something pleasant only.

    Only because you said so.

    I used to call her paavam ponnu from povai :))

    As a majorly Malayalee Mol, I have to tell you, I appreciate alliteration. πŸ˜‰ Nice to see that Tamizzhrl has infiltrated Hindi, according to your PPfP. πŸ˜€

    As for these three, from pingpong, the Abhi and BSG– high-larious:

    “well-behaved and obediently drinks his Horlicks before finishing his homework early”.
    This post just hit too close to home. Too close to home.
    I’ll pour out little Kingfisher on the sidewalk for my hommie Asok.

    ..

    Finally, Kurma at #12…that was exactly– if not better than– the answer I was hoping for, when I wrote the end of my post. πŸ™‚ Thank you. If I had written a Thanksgiving post like last year’s list, I would have written that you were like the elder cousin I adore, who always knows the answer to whatever I don’t.

  20. AHA! so its “chamaTu” instead of “chamatha/u”….very interesting, and sad that I did not know that before, because I speak both languages.

  21. Ah the vagaries of life! You get hired into a dream job and before you know it, the dream job has turned into a nightmare job.

  22. I thought “paavam” existed in Tamil? It means ‘poor, pitiful’ I think. ‘Chamatha’ is something else…

  23. As a Texan of south Indian extraction, for me, “paavum” has the conotation of our use of the phrase “bless his/her heart.”

    Ex, “Asok died while testing the moon shuttle prototype, bless his heart.”

  24. As a Texan of south Indian extraction, for me, “paavum” has the conotation of our use of the phrase “bless his/her heart.” Ex, “Asok died while testing the moon shuttle prototype, bless his heart.”

    that’s how it was always used when I was growing up as well, connoting “poor guy/girl” and “bless his/her heart.”

  25. Quote:’Recently, the Pointy-Haired Boss announced that Asok died while on a test of a moon shuttle prototype.’

    How incovenient. And just before X-mas. Now he won’t get his crimbo bonus. Condolences to his family in Desh.

  26. The big question that needs to be asked is – “Why was Asok (sic) killed?”. If Scott Adams was tired of him, he could just not feature him in any more strips (ie let the character fade into oblivion as done previously with other characters). This also allowed him to use the character at a later time, if it suited him. Methinks that something pissed off Adams and he resorted to killing off Asok to make sure that it is final.

  27. The big question that needs to be asked is – “Why was Asok (sic) killed?”. If Scott Adams was tired of him, he could just not feature him in any more strips (ie let the character fade into oblivion as done previously with other characters).

    Asok lives! His clone anyways. I predict that the real Asok will re-surface, having survived his journey into space. He shall return to find that his clone has replaced him. Then the real fun will begin as he has an existential crisis in which he must decide whether or not to kill his clone. This would be a great plot for the sequel to GATTACA. I’m just saying.

  28. Finally, Kurma at #12…that was exactly– if not better than– the answer I was hoping for, when I wrote the end of my post. πŸ™‚ Thank you. If I had written a Thanksgiving post like last year’s list, I would have written that you were like the elder cousin I adore, who always knows the answer to whatever I don’t.

    Oops! Same age, not elder. Can’t wait to be a sexy senex, but digging mallu is not helping. Cousin, maybe. Answer these 10 questions and we shall know immediately. 1) Do you have relatives in the gyelf? 2) Do the men in your family have curly hair? 3) Kailied and moustachioed men? 4) Nighties on women? 6) You wonder about the “head-bath” that you heard from some other desi kids because you were taught that every shower includes hair? 7) Coconuts and coconut oil in every dish on the table, including, sometimes, in the rice. 8) You have attended more mamodeesas than you can count. 9) Parents urged you to stedy hard and go to ko-laj 10) You know people named Kunjumon, Mariamma and have heard of people called Eliamma and Avarachan/Paappachan.

    If you answered yes to more than 9 of these, we are obviously cousins.

  29. i love how most of the comments are about the translations and not about poor asok/ ashok. i loved him, he was so cute. I have to say I don’t read Dilbert that often nowadays, but it is hilarious and I’m sure they will come up with a way to resurrect Asok. peace out homies.

  30. I ll fondly remember Asok. He was my opening gambit in getting some game a few years ago.

  31. Paavam is in tamil too, usually preceded by a chi (as in, chi’paavam), meaning ‘poor fellow’

  32. “Paavam is in tamil too, usually preceded by a chi (as in, chi’paavam), meaning ‘poor fellow'”

    In Telugu it could be: paapam or ayyo paapam

  33. I think the linguist fooled you. “paavam” is used widely in Tamil with the same meaning as in Malayalam. I don’t know what “chamatha” means. It is not a tamil word. I guess you are talking about “chamarthu / samarthu” used as an adjective meaning “brilliant / intelligent / witty”. And it is mostly used in the Brahmin households.

  34. Ponniyin Selvan@ 47

    I think that is indeed the word, but I never knew it was spelled with an ‘r’ in English… My family has always pronounced it “chamatha/u” (Palakkad/Palghat Iyers). Do others use an ‘r’?

  35. Akshay,

    “chamatha” if used is reserved for boys, chamathu is gender neutral (have you heard chamatha being used for girls?). As I said, it is mostly used in Brahmin households. (that includes palghat iyers). it is written with a “r” sound in the middle in tamil (if used).

  36. Ponniyin Selvan, you might be confusing it with saamarthyam, which means showing enterprise. Chamathu is indeed what people before have said it means – horlicks imbibing and homework doing.