The beauty of being an “non exempt employee” is that you work as long as it takes to get the job done. So while the rest of the country was celebrating Labor Day, I was in the office, working more than 14 hours to meet a deadline. Tuesday was the same.
I was driving blearily to work this morning, thinking about the union movement and the 8 hour workday when I heard the news about the latest alleged terror plot in Germany. The name of the group they think is responsible? The Islamic Jihad Union.
It should tell you something about my state of mind that my first reaction was “There is a terrorist union? I wonder what benefits they get?”
This segued into a reverie in extremely poor taste about two Jihadi managers, sitting in Pakistan (where those arrested were allegedly trained), complaining about the new German recruits who came in and unionized their operations.
Manager one: Unions are really playing havoc with our operations. Now they’re asking for 3 suicide bombers when one will do. One to carry the bomb, one to set it off, and another to supervise!
Manager two: Yeah, and if they’re asked to attack after 5PM, they want overtime. They’re demanding 50% more virgins! Their slogan is “fewer hours, more houris!”
Maybe this could be the west’s secret weapon in the “GWOT“: Unionization! “I’m very sorry sir, but this is strictly a union shop. We only accept attacks by unionized terrorists here.” That should slow things down considerably. 
Unions redress the imbalance between employer and employee. Working long hours helps one realize that unions once made life better for all. Employers band together in associations, why not employees.
Strangely the most unionized nations dont end up being basket cases.
Love the dialogue. Politics within politics. “Office Space” with a jihadi twist to it.
melbourne desi: Unions also helped drive a knife into the American auto industry. Toyota played their cards smart, and decided to go with a nonunionized workforce. Though the later can be attributed to Toyota understanding the power of unions.
Manager Three: Well, Virgins are in short supply these days, most of them are already taken!
Manager Four: No worries. We now have an endless supply of virgins, even with a limited number of houris.
Inv : Unions brought about the 8 hour workday / 5 day work week. Non-unionism is fine if you are a hedge fund manager but for the lowly folk unions are key to survival. Or maybe you would prefer McWages across the landscape. The point that you are saying about unions breaking the back of the american auto industry is an outrageous lie progagated by fat cat employer associations. The US auto industry still makes shoddy products – a union cant do the job of the CEO. What % of their travails is health care related ?
And it speaks to my mind that I’m still giggling helplessly – I read that the same way you did, Ennis.
Thanks for a much needed laugh.
Do you mean exempt employee? A non-exempt employee is paid hourly and due overtime under the FLSA (because he or she is not exempt) and relevant state wage & hour statutes. An exempt employee can be paid a fixed salary regardless of how of many hours they put in on labor day to meet deadline.
thanks:)
Ennis, with outsourcing being dissected to the bare on SM, I guess you don’ qualify as the “lazy worker“
Whoops, fixed, thanks.
No comment. I could be sitting in Bangalore right now though, doing the work that was just outsourced …
😀
Well heck, I always thought the Tamil Tigers sounded like a baseball team.
GWOT unionization? I wonder what their healthcare plan would be.
Probably better than what the average corporation offers its employees: