…because according to some commenters, apparently, it isn’t. Suddenly there are commentS about hot Desi girls choosing white guys over their own— and I emphasize the plural aspect of “comment”, because that’s what caught my attention– this wasn’t some one-off virtual rant. Frankly, Mr. Shankly, I’m shocked. While some of the people who are leaving the eyebrow-raising statements seem to be new, I’m fully aware that the normal pattern of Sepia engagement is:
Random Googling –> Sepia? What the-? –> Hmmm, interesting –> Lurking –> and then finally, posting.
If these anti-miscegenation fans have followed that tried-and-true process, then they’d be aware that there are more than a few members of the Mutiny community who are the products of interracial unions; I can’t imagine that they’d be so tactless as to disparage such pairings when they reflect someone like Siddhartha, Desidancer or SemiDesiMasala’s ancestry.
So, maybe these are just mischief-instigating trolls, having some wicked fun via drive-by hate-spewing.
Or are they?
I think there’s more to this– and that’s why I’m publishing this post. Let’s have it out, then. Some of you seem to be in the mood to REALLY tell us what you think, so here’s your deluxe chance. Almost everyone here is anonymous. 🙂 It’s safe to be honest.
The following comments were left on my post about a woman named Aarti being chosen as one of the cuter people on the Hill:
hillside: Also I’ve never dated an Indian girl either, probably partly because so many of the hot ones like the two on this list are into white dudes. [sm]
Sheetal: (referring to comment above)
I’ve noticed this too. What is up with that? [sm]
Sheetal followed that comment by excerpting the following portion of the Hill article, making sure to highlight certain significant words by “bolding” them.
Skipper is a native of Chicago but both parents are from India — something that had worried her when it came to the issue of marriage. The handsome man in church soon became her boyfriend, but he was American and Caucasian, far from what she thought her parents would ever accept.
Okay, loud and clear. Jamie Skipper is Desi and she married a Caucasian (never mind that Desis are Caucasian, too). Yet another commenter seemed to agree with hillside and Sheetal:
Kannan: its interesting that you bring this up..We have parallels with the asian community. I’ve heard/seen that before. Hot lil Korean spinner would rather hook up with tall lanky white dude than someone from her race and its kind of common because I know a lot of my asian brothers who want to date from their race gripe and bitch about it:) Its almost like an invisible social hierarchy And the same goes for desi guys, I have a lot of friends who date white girls just because they think it brings them more social value” Look at me FOB minority guy pulling from the majority race” However for me its never really been race, its whether I was attracted to the person or not and it so happens I have never gone brown 🙂 [sm]
Kannan, I think your final sentence encapsulates how most of us feel, but that doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t explore the other sentiments I’ve highlighted.
SM is at its best when we are honestly, openly and sometimes painfully hashing out the issues that our community/others refuse to acknowledge or discuss; I didn’t put this post up in order to invite you to pillory “hillside” and “Sheetal”. They weren’t abusive, they were blunt. I wrote this post because I wanted to know how the rest of you felt. The thing is, I am almost certain that they aren’t alone and that more of you agree with them than we realize. Maybe it’s time to call ourselves out.
To be brutally honest, I’ve been there. Years ago, I crushed on Desi guys who only seemed to “swing one way”; I’ve been let down gently by being told that:
If I did date Indian girls, you’d totally be my type.
I’m just not attracted to dark skin…I like pink nipples (!) (this from someone even darker than me)
and the best one, ever,
Um, I could never go out with you because it would be like dating my sister. White girls don’t remind me of relatives.
And what do black and Asian girls remind you of? It’s so telling that they almost never factor in to these cringe-inducing statements, it’s always white girls who are “preferred”, which invites doubt about the sincerity behind someone’s “type”.
Predictably, each of those instances left me feeling wounded. It didn’t help matters that every time my Mother came across some seemingly eligible, compatible (read: also raised-away-from-Mallus) ummarried boy, his mother would sorrowfully lament that
“He already has girlfriend. White. Enne chayum?”.
Mom would come home, grumpy. “The second they graduate from law or med school, they run after a vellambi. Chey!”
I knew why my Mother said something so annoyingly ignorant. Encounters with unavailable, suitable boys combined with input from her coworkers, a good portion of whom are African-American, to create an explosive cocktail of hurt; soon, my Mother absorbed that odious complex about “successful POC going white”, especially after the cutest brown resident at her hospital took up with some “white nurse who wasn’t even pretty” instead of someone Indian/Pinay/Chinese/Black (all of whom were/are allegedly gorgeous, in comparison). When they heard about the brown and white coupling, my Mother’s African American office mate snorted, “typical” while Ma shook her head and sighed. She told me all about it, bitterly.
“Mommy, maybe they’re in love?”
“Podi, penne. Stop being blonde.”
“Mom you’re being unreasonable.”
“You are never going to find a boy. There are no educated Malayalee boys with three degrees. If there are, they are only interested in the white girls.”
“I don’t care how many degrees…remember? I like engineers. They usually have just one.”
“Chinammamma is right. That’s a recipe for disaster. Boy should have more degrees than girl-“
“- and be three years older, and three inches taller and blah blah blah. Spare me, Ma.”
“Make fun all you want, those things are accepted for a reason- they work. You want your husband to resent you?”
“I thought you didn’t care if I got married?”
“I don’t. It would save me money. I’d rather travel than waste all that, or put the down-payment on a house for you. I have nothing to prove to your Father’s friends and I’ve never been interested in outdoing them. I just…saw Mercy’s son and thought he was so cute. My grandchildren would have been so cute!”
All right-y, then. What’s hilarious is that my Mother had to alter her theory a year later, when “Mercy’s son” got engaged to a Punjabi girl he met in law school:
“Sho! Anyone but a Malayalee penne, eh?”
“What, Ma…now there’s a hierarchy? White, then North Indian, then South?” 😀
I didn’t really make peace with any of this until I met an adorable white guy who confessed that he liked me…only to hear me gracefully blurt out that I only date brown boys. It’s true, I can’t help it. I always have gone brown and probably always will. It’s just what I am attracted to– black hair, dark eyes, tan skin (fur optional).
The epiphany I had at that moment, while staring in to wounded blue eyes and rapidly batting blonde lashes, brought me closure and a bit of enlightenment; duh, no one has to justify whom they are attracted to, but hopefully they are acting out of their purest feelings– we can’t help whom we fall for, but we can call ourselves out if we’re nursing some bizarre colonial hangover or other therapy-requiring-issue (full disclosure: I have a family member who ONLY dates white guys, because they are the polar opposite of her strict, very Desi Dad).
There are other aspects to the complicated issue of human mixology, too– one of my dearest friends is finally in a blissful relationship. With a black man. After being repeatedly rejected by Desi guys for her tan skin and curves, she has given up on making her parents’ dreams of an Indian son-in-law come true. Instead, she found someone who will accept her just as she is; she has decided to do what makes her happy– and I am thrilled for her. I’m also broken-hearted that essentially, she has to keep her love closeted. Additionally, I would enjoy beating the fecal matter out of the last Desi she went on a blind date with, who brilliantly said, “you’d be so pretty if you weren’t so dark!”, while recoiling from her. But I’m protective and furious like that.
Look. This stuff is real. It happens. Let’s talk about it, if you are in the mood. I’m opening a safe space for exploration, if you are so inclined. You don’t have to be P.C. or fake, you just have to be respectful and courteous; controversial topics are impossible to fisk if we’re not, right?
I am now filled with remorse, some innocuous observation I made barraged the thread with around 800 comments with the occasional tangents – Scynthians, Aryans and what not,
In other news, I have been running outside in the evenings and this has resulted in a nice golden tan,,I kid you not..I love it!! 😛
I have never commented on this type of thread on SM because it seems to be the focus of discussion whenever more than 2 single desis are in a room. I am not going to weigh in on whether desi women are predisposed to favoring non-desi men, no one is going to come away changing their position on this. Look at most couples (even where they are of the same race) and you will see that most are together for stupid or cold pragmatic reasons. Actual love is rare and hard to come by for anyone, even the wildly talented and extremely beautiful. The real question is how easy is it for desi dudes to have uncommitted “fun”…I’m not even going to attempt to provide an answer.
Whatever the actuality is, I will say to Pankaj that your attitude is self defeating. Men usually initiate relationships, so if you believe that desi men are reviled in general (and in particular by desi women) you will need to increase the scope of your macking efforts instead of waiting for some introspection on the part of women. I have white friends who are extremely smart, decent and successful but are short, not so good looking. Things aren’t so easy for them either but they fight the good fight asking 10 girls out a night to yield just one date.
Puliogre, I do have one question. Can you hook me up with some good down-home pulikaaichal? Can’t provide you any quid pro quo though, I’m afraid (except for a suggestion of heels).
So desi guys are considered physically attractive a lot of times but maybe many don’t have skills or luck to tap into this potential. Whereas white guys, for example, will know how to act and move things along in a relationship.
Forget white guys. They can’t compare to black men when it comes to “game”. They are the smoothest charmers out there! But then, smoothness, charm and game don’t neccessarily make for good long term committment. Smoothness and game is an ice-breaker only. When it comes to marriage and family, one looks for far more deeper qualities. But of course, no one is thinking about marriage and family on the first couple of dates, so it’s all good. Have fun!
My pipes are so bad even my shower quits in protest when I use them.
although i dont make ur height requirement.
I don’t think your penchant for the La Perla-clad, lip-gloss wearing i-banking detritus fits the “progressive” requirement either! 😉
(ps, “non-mainstream professionals” like La Perla, too!!)
DELURK
Short story: Sometimes the more different you are, the easier it is to enjoy the sheer miracle of your meeting at all.
Long story: I’ve been enjoying this thread (after a few weeks of skipping and scanning) and couldn’t resist finally writing something in.
I’m a whitey bi-dyke (there’s another poke at the heteronorms) who met a charming perv of a DBD (thank you, craigslist) when I was fresh out of a REALLY long-term relationship with a woman. The fact of his brownness, well, paled in significance compared to dealing with the dangly bits (“whoa, what the hell is that?!”). We wrestled also with SES and work stuff–he’s a well-bred, old-school, upper-class academic type, and I was a loud-mouth, deep-cleavage blonde, supporting my art through waitressing at the time (he confessed later that he had always thought he’d end up with a lawyer or doctor). What else… Oh, I’m a big, fat girl, 7 inches taller than him, even in my bare feet, and outweigh him by a considerable amount. We came from such totally divergent backgrounds and physical traits, that race and culture are just part of an interesting array of differences for us. The compatibilities (perviness, bibliophilia, love of food, etc.) make a wonderful net to hold it all together.
All that is not to say that either of us are blind to the reactions of our respective families and cultures. Those reactions vary wildly; because of our extreme differences, it’s hard to untangle what’s at the root in any given situation. When we’re walking hand in hand at the mall, are people staring because they disapprove on racist grounds, or because we present such a striking physical contrast, or because we’re obviously so much in love that they can’t resist a second look? When he and I are back in the motherland, are people staring because of the contrast, or because I’m fully a head taller than just about everyone on the street, or because they can’t believe that whitey is wearing a sari so well? (Okay, I fidget, but it always looks good for at least 2 hours!) It’s hard to tell, moving through the world, what is going in people’s heads, whether they’re desis or nondesis, but at a certain point I had to just dump the self-consciousness and get on with life.
Between us, we still get to have “cross-cultural communications” occasionally; hell, he still laughs remembering the self-help relationship book I showed him early on. (I made him read it with me, but he snickered throughout). We discuss ways that each of us juggle privilege, and have successfully negotiated most of how our kids will be raised, and mutually fantasize about how they will look (they will of course have beautiful, serious black eyebrows).
On a micro-level, with immediate family, we have found that “adjusted expectations” to be enormously helpful. For example, my hubby is DEFINITELY not past his “use by” date, but he was on the older end of marriageable age, according to his class and culture. While we were dating, and before he had told his mom about me, he rejected several more proposed alliances she was trying to set up. I hated listening to the messages she would leave on his machine during this time, but after soothing my anxiety, he reassured me that he would tell his mom soon, and by prolonging the period of rejection without apparent cause (i.e. no other known attachment), he would heighten his mom’s eagerness to get him hitched. “She’ll be so relieved to have me married at all that she won’t mind about anything else!” (Augh! It’s the 50-foot-tall woman! … Oh, well, just have to bring the tailor around again to adjust the red wedding petticoats.)
It all felt a little Austen-esque at the time, but it turned out to be true. She was so pleased to welcome me on our visit home, and was so loving and generous that I was almost undone on several wedding-party-type occasions. It helped that I spoke a little of the language (hardly any of it pillow talk!) and am naturally outgoing. But reading some of the comments in this thread, I see it could have been pretty hard, and I’m glad for our good fortune.
As for my folks, they have two Japanese daughter-in-laws and multiple Asian-ish grandchildren already, so the prospect of more dark hair introduced into a previously Dutch/Utah Mormon gene pool doesn’t seem to faze them anymore, if ever it did. And really, my hubby is an answer to their prayers. I mean, he’s got dangly bits! (They think I’m cured, but that’s another post to another group entirely.)
To tie into some other stuff said earlier, I can certainly see, when one’s own and one’s family’s identity are strongly tied to a particular ethnic group or culture, that seeing your own people marrying outside of that group can feel like a depletion of the reservoir. I’m just glad my guy has a more scientific attitude about it (two words: hybrid vigor).
This is really long. Sorry!
i actually am fairly progressive. my prior grlfriends have been pretty diverse. this is kind of an experiment for me….im not actually sure what La Perla is come to think of it…
i could probably do such a thing….puliogre has some skills…
arrrgh….pl dont get teh wrong idea about me. im not such a sleazy guy. fuerza dolce/jeet, please attest to that!
My cousin in India got married to a desi girl who was born in India but grew up here in the US. It was an “arranged” marriage.
This baby is going to cross the 1,000 mark tonight.
La Perla
enjoy, lovers of lingerie! (NSFW?)
Give a man puliyodharai and you’ve fed him for an evening, give him a vat of pulikaichal and you’ve fed him for many a year. PindaUSA, I will come down to New York and pick up a vat full of tamarind extract at the next happy hour you’re at.
But HMF, I’ve got your misanthropic self in my shights(to be read a la Sean Connery)
Besides….
I just don’t fit Puli’s type.
aaaaaah! my type os much broader than that! i repeat. this is a test of the emergency game system. this is only a test. if this was a real game, i would be hitting on you right now.
Bideshi Bou, your guy is Bengali?
@794 You nailed the spot mate and more hopefully. Joshua Tree. It was always my last stop home.
PindaUSA, i would actually be interested in knowing the results of your experiment if ever you get a sufficient sampling. at one point in time, i thought of doing the same – but not with the i-banker types.
la perla is a brand of lingerie, which attained mass popularity because of how well its thongs accommodated the low-rise trend. it continues to be very popular for mid-to-high range lingerie line.
That, and generous doses of mind altering substances which encourage one to produce inspired gibberish. I too like to hunt for the perfect snark, while gyring and gimbling in the wabe.
I interrupt this INSANITY to threadjack for a nimisham– I am delighted by your fervent support for a HAIR POST, as voiced way, way, way upthread and via email. A few of you have gone above and beyond and emailed me links or information, all of which is getting incorporated, if possible. It’s fascinating stuff, mutineers. Anyway– just wanted to say thank you and if anyone else has anything to add– my email is in my handle.
::
If I can get all “Akka” on your asses…I’m proud of this rollicking discussion, during which only one person was banned (ONE!), no comments were deleted (AFAIK) and most of you were thoughtful and civil, even while typing uber-passionate opinions and reactions to…interesting comments. Go you! 😀
mera dil ke paas:
a-yup, bengali. I’m still sorting through all the shades and origins of sepia, so I’m not always certain what his background really signifies in this or, well, any other discussion. Right, right, everyone’s unique, you can find examples of any behavior in just about any culture. But in the privacy of our home, he sometimes, with a big grin and a wink, makes sweeping, glorious generalizations about “his people” and how wonderful and open-minded they are (compared to other desi cultures, and no, I won’t say which). I don’t have enough of a statistical sample to work with–not enough exposure to his desher desis at all–so I just nod and say, “Oh, tai-na ki?” And secretly wish that I knew other bengalis to ask.
As always, Rahul steals the tarts.
(and hearts too, but that’s another story.)
Sorry Bess, I couldn’t help it 🙂
But ANNA, you still haven’t told us; where does a brown girl like yourself go to meet desi boys in DC?
This is not a flame. But I’m curious, are you a comment-gatherer? Meaning, you get pleasure from comments and the attention they create! You don’t have to answer. Thanks a mill.
I second this.
I believe those who’re commenting in absolutes are missing a serious gray section the size of the pacific.
First off, why limit your potential sample size. Not only to India, but if one is seriously looking to expand their pool, the UK, Aus, Africa, should all be considered. Not just brownland (though that is the easiest via social networks). Also, most people find good mates through their social networks. If they’re strong here, you’re better equipped to find a person here. If they extend to India, so be it. Some people have best of both worlds :). Secondly, the following is not an absolute truth:
.
Now, there are men who do go back for the demure, ‘domesticated’ house-wife. The question to me isn’t necessarily where one went for their wedding, rather, the process in which one decided to choose a mate. Did the prospective bride/groom see each other before? Did they simply meet once and it was done? Did they actually go out on dates, communicate via email/phone, discuss topics in a mature fashion?
‘Stereotypical’ brown dude going back to the desh: “Can you cook”
A normal question: “what are your interests, hobbies, future goals in life?”.
The arranged marriage process varies all over the place. In some places it functions as an old school version of match.com or eharmony, with merely introductions done by the families the rest is upto individuals, in other cases it’s the dread OMG! You didn’t even see her face???? Let’s keep this in perspective – there are liberal families in India and contrary to popular thought, the red carpet doesn’t come out rolling for any US citizen and parents of women aren’t looking to ship them with a FEDEX label to the United States, they want to make sure their daughter will be happy.
In conlcusion the population that goes back includes the following from my experience: 1) People lacking social skills 2) Those with skewed expectations 3) FOBs who feel more culturally comfortable with someone back home. 4) People simply looking for their best change, regardless of location and past dating history(ME).
Expanding on the last one, since that’s from my personal experience. I wasn’t all too positive about going there, since the last thing I wanted was the stereotype. I’ve dated women here, found several to be great, but “IT” wasn’t just there. My wife was/is as much of a ‘modern’ woman as anyone from here and the chemistry was there instantly. I mean, it’s a gut feeling. Frankly her family and mine were surpised we both pulled the trigger, since we’re known as the picky ones (she’d rejected every dude she met and even initially met me begrudingly, same situation as me). Maybe we’re atypical if real data was gathered ( I don’t know how). But I’ve met some very reserved and conservative folks here and the opposite in India. We were engaged for a year, too, giving us both a buffer zone to talk things through and back out if it wasn’t what we wanted.
Does that mean you don’t have sketchy dudes going back? Nope. They’re there. I’m just asking y’all not to be such harsh judges about ALL men who’ve gone to India. Some of us are just looking for a significant other with whom we’ve got CHEMISTRY, like everybody else and are OK with giving people of different backgrounds a chance. Being sensisble, reasonable, and caring is a two way street. Having a mature discussion of what one really wants is an absolute. Many in their early 20s don’t even know themselves, hence are easily influenced. I guess it helps that my wife and I are practically the same age from a maturity standpoint.
GujuDude ducks into a trench, waiting for the incoming volley of mortars and artillery.
Bideshi Bou, what a heart-warming story, and your mother-in-law sounds like a sweetheart!
my mom stated that as a strong point to marrying a young grl from india. “you can mold her and shape her into whatever you want. with american girls they want what they want, and if thats not you, they will leave”. i think i almost puked when i heard that coming out of a liberal ladys mouth.
I’m sorry, wasn’t looking or paise or quarters in India. I meant “looking for their best chance, regardless of location and past dating history”
Mais, portmanteau, ça ne fait rien. C’est vrais, je suis une tarte! Très délectable!
I second all that GujuDude said in #826. No brickbats, maybe bouquets!! 🙂 Some (not all) of my DBD friends in the US have had arranged marriages, and in neither of those cases is the stereotype of submissive, subservient wife true. rolls my eyes You are not giving enough credit to Indian-born women yaar. Between black and white are many shades of gray. Why should it matter how you meet someone, if it results in a happy, married life? And, if the wife chooses to stay at home and take care of kids, house and cook, that doesn’t make her a lesser woman than a career-minded wife.
Yea, that drives me nuts. I had uncles who said that. One of the reasons why I made sure biodatas of women deemed too ‘old’ by the network were NOT screened out and rather than letting people feed me bullshit, I took control (with the help of my dad of course. God bless him, the dude did exactly as I asked. Which is, simply collect biodatas and make sure the families we met were not crazy/nuts/relgious fanatics. NO swaminarayans.) He acted as my walking breathing email inbox and bullshit detector:). Thanks Pops!
Everyone in my wife’s family married late for desi Patel standards. Her uncles actually had love marriages back in the day, even her grandfather and grandmother had a love marriage (Patel-Brahmin).
GujuDude – I think I will add one more to that category of yours of people who think of getting the wifey from the des in 826. I have dated a little across the spectrum here – DBDs, ABDs and non desis. But recently have come to the conclusion that in a couple of years I want to head back (I am a DBD, been here about 6-7 years, like life here – will definitely regret giving up some aspects of my life, but the call of the peninsula is too great. I usually use a different handle but since this is a triflingly bit more personal…).
Non desis are very interesting, topics are usually slightly restricted but since a lot of western art and culture interests me, conversations are a lot of fun. However, I found that I miss sharing desi aspects of my personality and so decided that non desis are not long term for me. Plus the going back factor which don’t I expect a non desi to accommodate to. While with ABDs the sharing of desi culture was there, the problem of going back was again a constraint. With DBDs, the ones i dated or talked to, there was always the same issue – most of them don’t want to go back and thus my choice is almost 0 there too. I always felt that due to the change I myself have gone through, I probably wont get along with women in the des any more but over time and on reconnecting with old friends I have realized that things there are not as different any more. Thus I am not as averse to the idea of marrying from the des anymore and probably on my next trip may consider the option of checking out the arranged marriage pool.
Honey, you don’t want to know where I go, I belong to one of them exclusionary Abrahamic faiths. 😉
Okay. You know that one older cousin, who used to be fun and relevant? Who went out all the time and knew where to get the perfect martini? Well, remember how that cousin had a kid and now they NEVER leave the house? All they get to care about is a shrieking, starving, demanding, diarrhea-stricken brat who has made them her bitch? Yeah, that’s me and this blog. Except I have the added stigma of being a single-parent. Once an immoral, loose sorostitute, always one, I guess. 🙂
My point is, I can’t remember the last time I went out on a Friday night. I’m exhausted and hitting refresh and banning the racist/mischievous/ignorant, even as I pass out– and you pass by my apt, on your way to the elevator, as you leave for Chloe/Saki/Lima/Bossa/whatever. See? That PROVES how I go nowhere– I don’t even know what still exists and what has been shut down for a reinvention/renovation/name-change. I am teh suck. But I am also 32, so it is teh okay. 😀
::
When I was not 32, when I moved here for school at age 24, I met desi boys at GW, so that’s no help for you. Also no help? How my next two bfs (my best two bfs EVER) came from browndating dot com. I will juicily disclose, however, that I have dated someone I met at an SM meetup. 🙂
So, to summarize, there is nowhere to meet desis in DC, but you might get lucky at a meetup. 😉
im going to all the meetups now….ackwardness be damned…;-)
je suis d’accord. and then let us hope that rahul (and others in your target demographic)the rasgulla (title courtesy nurf girl) have a sweet tooth.
this thread seems to have ignited passions in more ways then one.
And so it all comes back to this again.
amazing recall dude…does that mean you remember everything i ever said to you? yikes…
It is MERE DIL KE PAAS. Are you Pardesi Gori by any chance?
Puliogre, since we seem to be quite the connoisseurs of French on this thread, I will say to you Je me souviens.
I was wondering the same thing!
To fill in some gaps about myself – I was born here, raised in India for 8 years (very western/liberal education), then made my way back. I kinda liked the type of women my classmates were in India – smart, opinionated, fun, talkative etc. I understand the nuance of certain things one prefers from a cultural standpoint. It’s the little chit chat type stuff. Food, shared experiences in a shoddy bus, traveling, food, politics, etc.
I’d guess that had I lived there longer (past my sophomore year of highschool), I probably would have wound up in a ‘love marriage’ there myself. MANY of my friends married classmates they were dating in highschool or college. But as I reacquainted myself with the American landscape again, I liked the Desi-Amerian women, too though honestly my first years was a natural ajdustment period.
What can I say, atleast within brown, I like all 31 flavors :). I met women here that were born and raised here, those that came here on student visas, on H1 visas, immigrated with family. The whole spectrum. All of them were cool, just not ones that I’d want to be married to. NOT because they were [insert a stereotype here], but simply because the type of chemistry necessary for a marriage didn’t exist. I would have, despite the stereotype, had such a thing existed.
Yes, a girl can hope! (wink, wink)
My sweet tooth is utterly, delightfully, fantastically satiated.
No one has to answer you because it’s a stupid question,
LapdanceChris. People aren’t paying attention to the author of this post, but the subject she posted about– get over your weird issues. You were already banned once– you’re on notice.Now my mind is aswim with visions of La Perla bras and caterpillars with hookah pipes. Too…much…sexual…imagery. Must be allayed by a meetup…
Re #839 & #841: Same voice. Same values. Same sudden silence…
why is PG the politically correct person to earf*ck on this website?
Harbeer @ 783: yes, I have seen it, and you’re right, it’s hilarious. Oh, if only . . . 🙂
Delirium @800: no, it’s not too personal, but I don’t want to derail the thread. The short version is that things are not so hot, but his dad is showing signs of acceptance. I’m still very angry at different members of his family, even ones in our generation. It’s a process, y’know? A much longer one than coming out as gay – so our timeline is in years, really. I have hope, but we definitely don’t see nearly as much of them as we used to, we’ve stopped speaking to some, etc. But even before the transition, a lot of the drama centered around his gender identity and expression (why couldn’t he grow his hair? why wouldn’t he wear a salwar and jewelry? etc. etc.) and not his sexuality. The visible stuff. Anyway, feel free to email me with questions, too – I don’t want to be disciplined for taking over the thread. 🙂
Oh, wow…you were Greek… 🙂
looks down at monogrammed tennis shirt and Jack Rogers…
…and apparently, I still am. 😉 My collar isn’t popped, but I’ll see you (and the twins) there.
(I’ve never been to Chloe or Lima, either btw.)
I haven’t done ANY work today, reading this too-much-fun wreck piled up in one direction (at work, o’er shoulder). Towards the end of the day these responses: