Who Will Soothe Your Heartache?

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Ok, Look. I know when someone lights the SepiaSignal (TM) over the tipline for a worthwhile down-with-brown cause, and when someone hitches a ride on the I’m-brown-too!choo!choo! train. You know, takes one to know one and all that. We ain’t stoopit you know. But then this email came through:

neel[1].jpg

Hey guys,
my name is neel shah–i’m a writer in NYC. I’m involved in some contest for Glamour Magazine write now, and sort of need some assistance from you guys. Essentially, Glamour is trying to find their next male dating columnist, and they’ve pitted three guys against each other (me and two others). It’s hard enough getting white people to vote for a brown person in this thing, so i figured i’d try to galvanize the brown voting community as well. You guys actually wrote about me once (I used to work for Gawker), so i was hoping this might fit with your blog, too.

Anyway, I hate asking for stuff like this, but i figured it was worth a shot. It’s always been my goal to dispense love advice to white women in the midwest. sort of.

So this ‘white people reluctant to vote for a brown’ angle…yeah, not so much. This poll is for a relationship advice column, not the presidency.

But dispensing “love advice to white women in the midwest” is a goal I can fully and heartily endorse!! I’d love to see Intern Neel (as he was known on Gawker) handle questions about that guy in accounting who leans in too close, and whether visible panty lines are a turn on. Wouldn’t you? But maybe the lovely ladies of Glamor will turn their attention to him instead? Maybe he’ll get questions about tantric sex? Or where they should drop off home-made packets of bhel puri? I mean, lookit that bashful little face! He’s cuter than Knut! (Ok, not cuter, not cuter. Calm down Mr. Cicatrix.)

But he doesn’t really need our help. Go see for yourself. He’s up against an old guy and a pancake-happy Yahoo Serious (yep, just dated myself about seven words ago) so he’s got this sewn in a bag. Yes?

Previous excuse to post Neel Shah’s pic here

65 thoughts on “Who Will Soothe Your Heartache?”

  2. Gawker wrote:

    South Asian-themed blog Sepia Mutiny.

    South Asian-American-themed blog.

  4. Many whites are reluctant to vote for a brown

    I think you should ask Sanjaya about that.

  5. yes, as a brown man i feel highly objectified. it’s almost as if grey goose is being poured on my head at this very second, whilst lecherous females cavort around me in a hellish, emasculating circle.

    Hahaha! MM, I remember that…I believe ANNA was doing the pouring:P

    Honestly, after reading his stuff on Gawker, I would vote for him. Time the dating advice world spiced it up a bit–pun intended.

  8. ooooohhhh…. I just noticed this. Look at the latest edition of GQ, you know the one with Stephen Colbert on the cover. One of the models in the “best suits under $500” is Mr Shag himself. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

  9. … is neel shah—i’m a writer in NYC. I’m involved in some contest for Glamour Magazine write now, and sort of need some assistance from you guys. Essentially, Glamour is trying …

    Somebody better tell this guy the difference between write and right if he wants the job.

  10. Somebody better tell this guy the difference between write and right if he wants the job.

    That was funny the fourth time someone pointed it out, but the fifth, well it’s a shame how it inspires nothing more than crickets.

  11. i just saw him on the early show with the other contestants. i’m not sure that any one of them had a particularly persuasuve pitch, though i thought neel was the most affable. so considering they are pretty much equal, getting the brown vote actually makes some sense. on the other hand, i was very sad to see that not only is he a writer, but a magazine editor, making the ‘write’ mistake a bit odd…

  12. i was very sad to see that not only is he a writer, but a magazine editor, making the ‘write’ mistake a bit odd…

    And I’m ready to cry at the number of people ready to whip out a red pen and leap to comment without reading through the whole thread…

    itsa tyypo pepple. jsut a frikkin typ[o.

  13. itsa tyypo pepple. jsut a frikkin typ[o.

    Indeed. And it appeared in an email, not a cover letter or magazine article. I’ve received emails with a gazillion typos.

  14. Gawker wrote about Neel again today. Looks like he might win this thing after all!

    If by “winning” we’re still talking about writing for Glamor readers.

    ducks & runs

  15. one of the other 2 guys used to be the singer of the band Simply Red

    You’ve got the wrong guy – that’s Mick Hucknall