91 thoughts on “MORE fun with Hetal and Kapila!”

1. Any similarity to actual humans (especially if they are in your family) is amusing at best and tragic at worst. Hetal and Kapila are zimbly figments of my almost-never-fecund mind. They do not exist.

   we know. did anyone say they thought these girls were real?

   This is just my unsuccessful attempt to be funny.

   hilarious. really enjoyed the first one a lot.

2. we know. did anyone say they thought these girls were real?

   My darling, you have NO IDEA.

3. My education in IMspeak continues. LOLOLOL. u b da shit, ANNA! 🙂

4. Spank you, come again

   we certainly will, and we should hold u to that promise.

5. lolol why the f is ur dad so dum

   I hope even a fictional character wouldn’t take someone talking about her dad like that! Them’s fightin’ words!

6. A N N A — you took me back to my jersey days, you made me miss my jersey days. that’s some talent. =)

7. I still don’t get the point of this group of posts.. Is it for April fools ?

8. whats “sexxy5@biPrinc3ss”‘s ASL???

   anna hook me up!

9. I don’t think its part of larger scheme. They began when Kal Penn’s courses at Penn were announced and A N N A must have thought it’d be funny to parody the group most effected by the news. Most of us vigorously agree.

10. “…thought it’d be funny to parody the group most effected by the news. Most of us vigorously agree.”

    I might vigorously agree with the stereotype and think it’s hilarious, even if I am at the absolute tail-end (and in fact graduating-before-it-happens end) of the demographic…but then, i must say i don’t self-identify with the stereotype.

    But still, can you imagine how many of these kids will have to drop the class mid-semester because they can’t write papers? I think that would be funny to hear about…

11. I don’t think its part of (a) larger scheme.

    Actually, I hope it is. And it’s powerful stuff. Anna, having already written Suitable Girl, maybe you can now think about writing your own Golden Gate, with pieces in this, er, metre. Along with the humor, satire, random links and the other good stuff, I really liked the allusions in the titles. I’m still trying to precisely place the source of “Further Conversational Excursions”.. my mind (and google) can’t disambiguate the everyday reference and the very specific title I remember from somewhere. Any hints? 🙂

12. “martian luther king”; one of the greatest typos I’ve ever seen.

13. Most hilarious to me is that many of these kids are actually very intelligent and can pull it together when they need to. My former self totally identifies with the stereotype and my dad marvels when old friends come over looking, acting, speaking, and getting paid.. all grown up stylez.

    Chachaji, I agree. Part 3 makes the subtle point that while arrogant bigots advocate for racial profiling, brown kids have parents of all political colors. Part 2 hammered in the point that Kal Penn doesn’t capture the desi voice, not even of the movie he stars as Larihi’s expression would suggest. Part 1 was just hilarious and I don’t want to analyze it past that! But, yes, I agree… there is a larger point in the background here, several of them, I think. My point was, its not a veiled attack or political statement or something.

14. well it kinda doeznt count if ur ndn an republican. the 2 cancel each other out or somethingv.

    OMG OMG ROTFL!!!! (turn sound up)

    Anna, you are on fire. Add me to the chorus of fans begging for a novel.

15. I got really into IM when in high school, and used it all through college, and would use a lot of acronyms like lol, idk, wtf etc. I also used smilies / emoticons..

    But students I was with (at UIC in chicago) that would use IM speak or talk like they were black could write academically when they needed to..

16. I still don’t get the point of this group of posts.. Is it for April fools ?

    Does everything need to have a point? What was the point of comment 15? Stop thinking and start reading and pass me the bong.

17. if u get in to brown u cant like, flunk out or watever

    OMG OMG OMG somebody help me, I can’t stop laughing.

    Oye, Where did my Bong go?

18. Most hilarious to me is that many of these kids are actually very intelligent and can pull it together when they need to.

    Espressa, agreed. Especially considering AP Physics over here…

    sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: wait wats ur quiz on

    GujuHottiee120586: faradayz law of reduction or something

19. how the biatch who wote that was a repubican?

    ROTFLMAO….dis is gr8. Anna u r so hot n smrt. like twinkle khanna n shabana azmi rolled in2 1.

    I think someone should write a whole novel in this form. It might well be the Clockwork Orange of our generation… er the next generation.

20. You crack me up so much, Anna.

    As a part of the generation that’s going to have its impressionable young minds melded by the eminent Kalpen Modi, my mind boggles when I see classmates that refer to each other as “u mai n*gga ARPIT! I gotcha dawg, we fly, we be ballin! Ain’t gonna lose my coo’ for dem bitches up in hurr, sonnn.” suddenly revert to “And so the unknown microbe could not grow on this medium since it was comprised of cysteine. Thank you and I hope you will consider me for the Dean’s Scholarship. This is why my parents immigrated here.”

    I cannot, for the life of me, figure that out. I feel like I’m missing some kind of Gen X Desi gene.

21. Speaking of Kal… “The Namesake” finally opened in flyover country this weekend. I enjoyed the movie… perhaps the oddest and most distracting thing in it was how much Modi reminded me of a young Nicholas Cage. I certainly wasn’t expecting that…

22. Debbie Schlussel needs to be arrested for being a dumb ditzy blonde.

23. oo i share me bday wit gujjuhottie so saggi..yea yea represent..ohh big ups for me man kal penn in rise ‘a taj..wurd up machi!

24. Speaking of Kal… “The Namesake” finally opened in flyover country this weekend.

    Debbie Schlussel needs to be arrested for being a dumb ditzy blonde.

    Reading the last two comments just reminded me of something… Ironically, Debbie Schlussel really liked The Namesake.Best part of her review: This is the story of immigrants of every ethnic group which comes to America (except Muslims (mostly Arabs), who’ve chosen not to assimilate and to become separatists in our nation, demanding that we assimilate to them and their mores).

25. Why all this hating on Brown? Are you all still bitter that you didn’t get in? Or jealous that Brown students are smart AND cool?

26. Why all this hating on Brown? Are you all still bitter that you didn’t get in? Or jealous that Brown students are smart AND cool?

    One hopes that this is an attempt at more “humor”, lest you make Brown alums seem clue-free– that would be unfortunate. Some of our best friends went to Brown. Hell, some of our best friends ARE brown.

27. great another IM bullshit post.

28. great another IM bullshit post.

    Awww, thanks! I think it’s FUN. Now I’m going to make sure to write another one just like it, just for you.

29. Who is “ONE”? Do you mean you? Clue-free? Does Alicia Silverstone own the rights to Clueless? Maybe I’m a slow reader.
    I agree with Mira. These jokes aren’t very creative– and perhaps Anna is a bit too obsessed with poking fun at this most wanted Ivy. Projection anyone? Hell, I got a perfect on my SAT and they still rejected my ass.

30. I agree with Mira.

    Of course you do. You ARE Mira. We ban people who switch handles mid-thread in order to agree with themselves, because that is lame AND dishonest. So stop it, please.

    Besides, someone who scored perfectly on their SATs should have more profound things to be offended by than a “humor” post on SM. Ponder something lofty and stick with ONE handle– you’ve been warned.

31. lollll…a jolly good show Anna..more please!

32. this is the best part:

    sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: o rt. sorry….well it kinda doeznt count if ur ndn an republican. the 2 cancel each other out or somethingv. so ur dads fine. not a perv.

    GujuHottiee120586: ohhhhh…that makes total sense. i think it also helps that hes a gynoecologist.

    sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: bc he sees so much ass he doesnt want any?

    GujuHottiee120586: NO!!! I jus was goin to say hes real busy!!!! EEEEEWWWW. U SIC FREAKK

    sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: lmao

    oh god my side hurts now! 😀

33. Oh man, this is only helping my procrastination :P.

34. sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: but evryone there is so OLD GujuHottiee120586: thats kinda why i like it. its sophsticated and worldley

    That kills me.

    I find the junction between the old and the young to be a very interesting place. If you spend all your time surrounded by people of the same generation and same mindset, you end up with a narrow take. I talk to a lot of the younger generation just because I find them amusing. My little sister actually just got into UPenn and we had a similar conversation about Kal Penn – complete with purposely misspelled words, superfluous z’s, and pop politics references. Quite funny to find this popping up on SM. It’s also hilarious to read through some of these comments and see how hard it must be for some people to really comprehend the mentality of brown kids these days. Is it really that easy to forget what it was like being a kid? Their experiences aren’t the same as ours were, but their mindset is the same – it’s wide open and will soak up whatever the present day influences are. Not all of their influences will be “sophsticated and worldley.”

    What’s kind of shocking is how accurately Anna has blueprinted the desi youth dynamic here. I frequent a few of the less enlightened sites that target desi youth and this is spot on with the kind of exchanges I read there. Totally unexpected that she could so accurately duplicate it.

    lolz.

35. Kal Penn for Oscar, DJ Rekha for Grammy and now ANNA for the Thurber Prize!! SM and its army of fifteen or so loyal commenters has it all figured out. Long live Brown mediocrity, specially in the eyes of non-Browns.

36. Any similarity to actual humans (especially if they are in your family) is amusing at best and tragic at worst.

    Haha. The disclaimer is just as funny as the conversation.

    Sorry for being thick, but I don’t understand the connection between Sunny Leone and Brown University, nor if the haterade for white Republicans is meant to be ironic. Either way, Hetal and Kapila for guest bloggers!

37. Kal Penn for Oscar, DJ Rekha for Grammy and now ANNA for the Thurber Prize!! SM and its army of fifteen or so loyal commenters has it all figured out. Long live Brown mediocrity, specially in the eyes of non-Browns.

    Sarcasm is hard.. Let’s go trolling..

38. Hahaha hypocritical oath…people who promise to save lives when they know they can’t do it in reality with all the insurance crap and expenses.

    I honestly love these posts of yours, and I’m 18, basically that person in the convo COULD be me. Keep it up!

39. When are we going to get to read the “I just saw my first ding-a-ling” conversation?

    God, I just realized how pathetic it was to wonder when 2 fictional indian girls are going to have a conversation about doing it! I declare that the most desperate thought of the year!

    Im going to go cry in a corner now.

40. This is getting boring.

    And that too coming from someone who is in mid-30s?

    Or has Sepia doing some market research – and found that majority of site visitors are ABD (South Asian American) teens – hence the degradation to suit the “target audience”?

41. iFOB, stop being so mean

42. iFOB you have a super cool name. I think sepia mutiny’s target audience should be college students and young professionals who are ABCDs.

    I guess that FOBs don’t read stuff like this..

43. iFOB you have a super cool name. I think sepia mutiny’s target audience should be college students and young professionals who are ABCDs. I guess that FOBs don’t read stuff like this..

    Sir ji, I am a village idiot from Sakuti Danda. Sakuti Danda is a small village near Meerut and Muzaffarnagar in Uttar Pradesh, Indya. I came to Amrika two months ago, and sometimes I try to read Sepia Mutiny because my bery, bery beautiful girlfriend, Bambi told me to practice reading and writing angrezi.

    I am neither a college student, nor a young professional, nor ABD (vhat is this ABD?). I do not know SMS. Therefore, I am not the target audience. I will tell this to Bambi when she returns from her exotic dance club shift. Maybe, we both will read and ? boink together. They have a very simple target audience – horney, horney.

    Sadar Pranam. Sir ji, tell me if I and Bambi can of some seva to you.

44. There is a proverb: The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.

45. There is a proverb: The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.

    Someone’s been reading Train to Pakistan…

46. This Dog sniffs out mediocrity. The smug SM caravan crawls in circles.

47. girl, you so crazy

48. Here’s some quotes from Debbie’s review of 300..

    ”of interest to the video-gamer slacker dummies for whom this dumbed-down movie was really produced”

    ”cheap, bizarre porn chic for the dumbed-down male late teen lumpen movie-going-tariat to which the movie panders”

    “Prepare for Glory,” should have been, “Prepare for Gory.” ”Ditto for all the naked men’s rear-views. There’s so much of that, it’s as if some of this movie was made to appeal to a gathering backstage at an Elton John concert”

    Priceless!!!

    How come the republicans have all the hotties with a wicked sense of humor, while all the democrats can throw up is the same old tired hag with the funny alabama accent?

49. Debbie almost sounded human in her review of the Namesake (until she careened into that hysterical tangent on Muslim immigrants). I still can’t decide if her psychosis is hilarious or just sad.

    She’s a grown, supposedly educated, person who goes out of her way to make sure her readers know that Kal Penn is really a swarthy forner by printing his full, real name. She really raises the bar for troglodytes and reading her for any length of time will make you feel as if you’re living in Hannibal Lechter’s asylum.

    Proceed with caution!

50. The first one was difficult; the second one was easier. As for this one, I read it in quick time from top to bottom AND understood everything. My education is complete.