Cricket: Farewell, My Aloo

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…wherein Whose God is it Anyways? inspires a second cricket post in a row!

The Sound of Cricket.JPG

The education of my cricket-ignorant kundi continues; I shall torment you with my progress, much like a toddler rushes back to a parent to exclaim, “I did it in the potty!” Like aforementioned kid, I, too would like a cookie and a pat on the head. Thanks, you’re the best.

So. WGiiA left a comment on my last World Cup post which piqued my kitten-like curiosity:

ok. just got very emotional seeing inzi get out and leave the field for the last time in an ODI. he deserved better circumstances under which to leave. [link]

I immediately assaulted consulted one of my cricket tutors, the one who kindly told me a bedtime story via speakerphone last night which starred Sachin Tendulkar– look, when one runs out of Ambien, one reaches for desperate alternatives– and expressively typed “?” in his GChat window. I didn’t expect to like or care about what I’d learn, but I wanted to find out more nonetheless, if only because I’m a sentimental wench and anyone’s last ____ always makes me a bit verklempt.I was told that the Pakistani captain was retiring and that because his team will not move to the next round, this would be his last opportunity to play cricket. At this, I became a typical sorority girl and murmured, “Aww–” but before I could tack more unnecessary “W”s on that cliched reaction, I learned even more. “Inzi” was a complex figure, the type who owns my attention; just as I was ready to dismiss him for being a PUNK at the Sahara Cup (you can’t assault a fan for calling you “Aloo!”), I learned that he also refused to back down from bullshit accusations leveled by racist umpires (yay for walking your team off the field…or…um…not coming back on the field after tea…whatever, the protesting is still hot).

Then, when I discovered that the klansman who inspired that dramatic gesture had been banned from hating on Asian teams, I was hooked. But. I’m still going to learn how to pronounce “O mote, sidha khara ho. Mota aloo, sara aloo!” or whatever it is he gets heckled with…like attracts like, and I’m a bit of a punk, too. πŸ™‚

No wonder you all love cricket so much! This is fun! πŸ˜€

::

Anyone know where I ganked the caption from, i.e. what song I pilfered in an attempt to be clever? I’ll give you a hint; I’ve seen the movie whose soundtrack it is a part of over 90 times. Wot? Not enough of a hint? Your bad. πŸ˜€

102 thoughts on “Cricket: Farewell, My Aloo”

  1. Sigh:

    Cricket Tutor #2: Monay, just one thing you might want to watch out for– the news reports did not make it clear that Inzi himself tampered with the ball, it was aimed more at the Pakistani team. But by method of induction, it can be said that he was accused.
    Suitablegirl: Yeah? Well here’s one thing YOU might want to watch out for– I’m tired and hungry. I’ll deal with it later…someone will correct me soon enough.

  2. A friend e-mailed me this earlier:

    ++++

    And he gets a big standing ovation; each Zimbabwe player jogs over to shake his hand. And as he raises his bat, his Pakistan side all come down to greet their captain who, by now, is in tears. He takes his helmet off, acknowledges the crowd while wiping the tears dry. And 15 years ago today, Inzamam scored 60 off 37 balls to help Pakistan win the World Cup semi-final against New Zealand

    27.4 Mupariwa to Inzamam-ul-Haq, OUT, fine catch, a very fine catch to end a brilliant batsman’s one-day career. Inzamam trying to launch another six over long-on but got an outside edge behind Williams’ head at mid-off who jogged back and took it in front of his nose. Fine catch. The end of an era, an era ending in the shadow of a tragedy.

    ++++

  6. ANNA I said before that you’d bring the right vibe to the World Cup coverage and you’re doing it — thanks for allowing us to play πŸ™‚

    Anyway, I think things are shaping up. If England qualify they play Ireland in the fist match of the super 8’s. Plus India have to beat Sri Lanka or they’re going home.

    What a tournament — good bad tragic amazing — -and we’re only in the first stage.

  7. Nevermind, I will reluctantly ignore my inherent bias towards Cicatrix and reopen the competition until someone comes up with the EXACT song title. Oy, you whiners and your texting. πŸ˜‰

  8. Anyone know where I ganked the caption from, i.e. what song I pilfered in an attempt to be clever? IÒ€ℒll give you a hint; IÒ€ℒve seen the movie whose soundtrack it is a part of over 90 times. Wot? Not enough of a hint?

    Sound of Music.

    The original lyrics are:

    There’s a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall And the bells in the steeple too And up in the nursery an absurd little bird Is popping out to say “cuckoo” [Marta, Gretl, Brigitta:] Cuckoo, cuckoo

  10. I won! I won!

    Does this mean I get to knock wickets with Captain von Trap? For my prize, I mean?

  11. Does this mean I get to knock wickets with Captain von Trap? For my prize, I mean?

    Only if:

    1) Mr. Cicatrix doesn’t put the hurt on me for setting such sin up

    2) I get to flickr it.

    πŸ˜‰

  15. er, maybe I didn’t..?

    In any case, I’m logging off and heading home. Right after I pick up some cricket uniforms for mr.cicatrix πŸ˜‰

  17. The education of my cricket-ignorant kundi continues; I shall torment you with my progress, much like a toddler rushes back to a parent to exclaim, Ò€œI did it in the potty!Ò€ Like aforementioned kid, I, too would like a cookie and a pat on the head. Thanks, youÒ€ℒre the best.

    Thats quite all right Anna….just like the aforementioned parents,we are also taking lot of delight and pride in your developmental milestones……today,potty at the right place;tomorrow,eating porridge without spilling!

  18. anna, no love?

    Someone already asked about that.

    Considering that she left the following on another thread, I’d lay off the guilt trips right now, but that’s just advice:

    as many of you perceptively figured out when I stated this earlier today, I don’t need more shit or guilt or ____ right now.
    I’m getting frustrated with this line of thought; here’s what I was doing when you snapped your fingers– I was AT WORK.

    …until I win powerball and take care of my student loans and rent that way, I can NOT be at this website’s beck and call to ban idiots or write posts faster or respond to tips…ad infinitum. Does logic escape once some of you come to these threads? I work 70+ hour weeks. THIS IS NOT MY FULL-TIME JOB. It’s not the case for any of us.

    I’m not trying to start something here, but this sort of situation is exaclty why I unexpectedly left the Mutiny earlier this year. I contribute what I can afford to, if not slightly more. If I can never do enough, why do at all?

  19. Anna, thank you for your continuing–and singularly engaging–coverage of the World Cup.

    So what are India’s chances at this point, how does the run rate come into play? Here on in, I’m routing for India. It was charming watching minnow Bangladesh slay the excessively complacent Baby Blues, but Sri Lanka is a cricket powerhouse, with a World Cup victory to its credit. This is especially impressive given that it has roughly as many people as Delhi. Like Holland in football, its boasts prowess beyond what would be suggested by its demographics. Murali is my Tamil boy and all, but its time to come back home. And, as a Hindu, I must invoke my deva to remove all obstacles in their path.

    Vicket!

  20. So what are India’s chances at this point, how does the run rate come into play? Here on in, I’m routing for India. It was charming watching minnow Bangladesh slay the excessively complacent Baby Blues, but Sri Lanka is a cricket powerhouse, with a World Cup victory to its credit. This is especially impressive given that it has roughly as many people as Delhi. Like Holland in football, its boasts prowess beyond what would be suggested by its demographics. Murali is my Tamil boy and all, but its time to come back home. And, as a Hindu, I must invoke my deva to remove all obstacles in their path.

    Well the runrate should not be a biggie. As long as India beats Sri Lanka, we should be fine. The comment about Murali and all, I am confused. Should I be saying Edo or should I be saying Machan?

    And ANNA Just like nfa@17 said, we are all enjoying your coverage and like reading your posts as much as we like discussing run rates and related stats. Good job and we appreciate the time, patience, effort and initiative you have taken.

  21. I think I have discussed the Friday game ad nauseam on the phone……who knows what the men in blue have in store.But still,for the sake of discussion since passion is still running high,

    1.I will kill myself if they play Agarkar again.Time for A N N A ‘s hearthrob to take a bow……..(my favourite description of Agarakr is that of a wicket-taking bowler with a very skewed notion of how and where to take those damn wickets)

    2.Jaysuria needs to go early.

    3.Negotiate Vaas carefully.More dangerous for India than Murali.

    I dont think I will be watching though.Dont have the balls anymore to go through the rolla-f***-costa that Indian cricket.

  24. and the sinister plot to have sepia mutiny become all-cricket all the time is working πŸ™‚ just kidding.

    it was sad to see inzamam retire from ODIs to such an empty stadium. he should have ended it to a full stadium, perhaps in Pakistan. i don’t know what it is, but the sparse west indian crowds at non-windies matches have been very disappointing, and some of the matches don’t even feel like world cup matches because of eerily empty stadiums and barely any noise. perhaps the tickets are too expensive for the locals, in which case the officials should let them in free after the first innings or something, or let schoolchildren in for free.

    as for india, given sri lanka’s clinical demolition job today, they are going to have to send more animated doppelgangers instead of the team that faced bangladesh if we have any chance of moving on. changes i’d like to see: sreesanth in for agarkar, maybe pathan in for munaf (not sure), uthappa either pushed further down (hopefully sehwag will maintain some of the bermuda form alongside ganguly as opener) or replaced by dinesh karthik (although uthappa is a good fielder and we have been woeful in that department), and more use of tendulkar, sehwag and yuvraj in the spin dept. (although this is sri lanka, not bangladesh or bermuda) since neither harbhajan or kumble have fared that well (leaving powar out may have been a mistake).

    the good thing about sri lanka’s thrashing of bangladesh today, if india does manage to bea sri lanka, is that the run rate will probably be in india’s favor, unless bangladesh beat bermuda by a huge margin. the indian team must be kicking themselves (and if they’re not, they should be) for putting themselves (and their fans) in this stressful situation!!

  25. oh, just wanted to add that although i’m not a big fan of umpire darrell hair, i think calling him a klansman goes too far πŸ™‚ but yes, he doesn’t endear himself to some.

    and although it’s looking highly unlikely, i hope you get to see the real sachin tendulkar – the little master blaster – in action during this world cup. as far from ambien as you can get!

  26. if india does manage to bea sri lanka, is that the run rate will probably be in india’s favor, unless bangladesh beat bermuda by a huge margin.

    D***. I’d want India to make it but those Bangladeshis deserve to go through.

    The crowds at these games have been abysmal – even worse than when the Cup was held in the UK two tournaments ago.

  27. If you think its stressful to watch on TV, think about watching the Guardian website updates. There is nothing more stressful than waiting for the update to come in over-by-over! I can’t really begin to imagine how awful a feeling that will be for India-Sri Lanka. But I plan to do it anyway!!

    If they win this match, it may go down as one of the greatest events in Indian history.

    Let’s go India!!!

  28. BTW, I will root for England, but how nice would it be to see Ireland become a test-playing nation, and for Bangladesh to cement its place among that group? World cricket would be tremendously the better for both developments

  29. SM Intern, Nagasai brought this up in the other thread, but comments were closed before I could post this. This is not an ad hominem attack on you, but I don’t get why discussions of moderation leads to snappish, defensive responses from you about hours worked, full time jobs etc etc, followed by a general kowtowing from other regulars rushing to your defense? Is this your singular moderation style?

    I have to ask you the same question you often challenge readers with: if this gig is so soul-sapping, this crowd so thankless, why are you still doing it? Delete this comment if you want to, I agree that it is off-topic, but please think of this question when you are by yourself.

  32. I don’t get why discussions of moderation leads to snappish, defensive responses from you about hours worked, full time jobs etc etc, followed by a general kowtowing from other regulars rushing to your defense? Is this your singular moderation style?

    I have to ask you the same question you often challenge readers with: if this gig is so soul-sapping, this crowd so thankless, why are you still doing it? Delete this comment if you want to, I agree that it is off-topic, but please think of this question when you are by yourself.

    I fucking give up. After trying in vain to please you lot, after allowing myself the LUXURY of standing up for myself today, this is the bullshit I get. Yes, kowtow to me but just you– and only because you are an unclear-on-the-concept anonymous coward. It’s bitterly amusing; I told one of my closest friends that my attempt to be transparent today with this community about my limitations had all the wrong results. The people who are already kind to me reassured me that I was appreciated, when those sweet souls already made me feel that way with every interaction I had with them. The assholes accused me of requiring ass-kissing. Mais oui.

    I mentioned my work schedule not because I was defensive or because I demanded some gratitude tax; I mentioned it because I was and am feeling besieged.

    Your condescending, faux-thoughtful comment which you were “moved to” leave is worthless. I’m sick of these passive aggressive dares to delete pathetic comments– I won’t give you the pleasure.

    I “Sepia Mutiny” because I can’t NOT do it. I’m imperfect, but I put myself out there and give this my sincerest and best efforts, which is more than I can say for the anonymous voices who snipe at me constantly, like yours. And yes, this is usually thankless . But so is almost everything else which is worth it. Now go hate on me with your Mean Girl friends, but do it elsewhere– I’m a terrible, narcissistic despot, or didn’t you know?

    Intern! Fetch me this black lime achar everyone is so enamored with…and fan me like you mean it! I’m overheating.

  34. Sahej, I’m with you on that one. Though I’m highly amused by the idea (and romance) of the Irish succeeding at cricket. I’m torn about the IND-SL match: it would be fantastic for Bangladesh to go through to the Super 8a and one could hope that they would then get more matches through the year. On the other hand, India not going through to the Super 8 would be woeful and Not Right, somehow.

    And on the other hand, Go Lanka!

  35. ANNA – I will get you some ‘bellam avakai’ when I return in May. I’ll also bring whole-lemon ooragai also. Thats non-cut lemon pickle. That would be my share of asskissing πŸ™‚

  36. I never liked Aloo, so this farewell from him didnt do nothing for me. I was beri beri sad when Wasim Akram (the real Pakistani cricket king) retired. He was da-man!

  37. hated aloo when he first came to play, but that guy is ridiculously talented. for all his sloth, his bat moves pretty fast :). difficult not to like him—and fat ppl in general :).

  38. I like Aloo, not only is he an incredibly talented batsman but he’s also a real old-fashioned Punjabi in a nice way. When the Indian cricket team went to Pakistan for that first tour after over a decade in 2004, there was one test match in Multan, which is Aloo’s home-town, and even though we totally kicked their asses in that test (Sehwag making his 300!), Aloo gifted each member of the Indian team a set of clothes or something because they were “guests” who had come to his hometown for the first time. Now how sweet is that? And he took his kid to play cricket with Sachin’s kid when Pakistan came to India the next year (no pressure or anything, little boys…)

    I’ve also met Aloo in the flesh and he’s really not that pudgy.

  39. I also hated Inzi after the whole Canada thing. But with time came to appreciate what a talented and good hearted person he is. Sad for him to go this way!

  40. I’ve also met Aloo in the flesh

    Now thats an oxymoron if there ever was one innit.

    As for the match….I dont know,India not going thru will be a disaster of sorts and rank somewhere between my first break-up and the anal boil I had in Nfa-disaster-index.But then,test of sorts for the MiB’s.As we used to hear it ad nauseam in the 80’s,WTGGTTTGT.Go blues…!!Oh wait,SL team is colored blue as well…..Go Sky Blues….!

  42. Inzy was one of the good guys. And reminiscent of an old school cricket player you won’t see again, like Arjuna Ranatunga or David Boon. I loved to see him play, and its sad to see him go.

    And he had every right to go after that fan who called him “Aloo”

  44. I know this is totally inappropriate especially for this thread…and that she may dislike me based on my comments in the Kali depiction thread…insult or ridicule me if you must, delete this if you have to as I understand that this is not the purpose of the comment section… but Anna, you are incredibly beautiful, extremely sexy and so damn intelligent…goddamn! I just had to let that out I’m verry verry sorry…. Abhi is a looker too πŸ˜‰

  45. the sparse west indian crowds at non-windies matches have been very disappointing, and some of the matches don’t even feel like world cup matches because of eerily empty stadiums and barely any noise.

    I’ve often wondered about this…it seems that cricket may be losing ground to other sports in certain countries…I’ve been to the UK, Australia, and the West Indies, and you certainly don’t see that cricket fever that you do in India (and presumably Pakistan). Depending on the country, soccer, rugby, basketball, etc. are much bigger draws. Maybe Red Snapper and others can tell us…is cricket still huge in England at a grass roots level or is it becoming more of a niche thing?

  46. I do think it’s hilarious that one guy (Thind) started calling him ‘Aloo’ and now everyone’s doing it. Also, Thind should have kicked his ass when Inzamam assaulted him…well, Inzamam did have a cricket bat in hand though.

  47. Amitabh

    Cricket is second to football in terms of popularity in England, but cricket is deep rooted. When England won the Ashes back a in 2005 it was the biggest public sporting celebration in years.

  48. ANNA

    Never mind the mosquitos who keep buzzing around you — most important thing is you are loved. Because we couldnt send you a bouquet of flowers, myself, risible, whose god, amitabh, shodan and all the other cricket fans want to give you this present for your effort.

  49. And briefly, as life is supposed to flash before your eyes in the instant before you die, as he hurried, teary-eyed, into an emotional guard of honour from his team, all that was good and great about Inzi flashed before us; the yo-yoing weight, the clean-shaven cherubic chubby giving way to the patriarchal beard, the brain ticking over impassively calculating run chases, the bendy flick off his hips over square leg, the hunched, shuffling drives, those violent cuts.

    link

    Mr. Haq, you will deeply missed. This is the supposedly the last world cup for a lot of great cricketers Tendulkar, Ganguly, Dravid, McGrath, Jayasuriya. There is another great article by Sambit Bal on how cricket is not treated as a game anymore but a money making business

    Nationalism is the bedrock of cricket. But you can’t call yourself a true fan if the sight of 17-year old Tamim Iqbal charging down pitch to belt Indian quick bowlers brought you no thrill. Yes, India played below themselves, but every cricket match has a winner. To be unable to comprehend, and appreciate, this runs against the spirit of the game.