Buying your way to Nirvana. One charge at a time.

Have you guys seen the freaking fantastic new credit cards from VISA (thanks Eleanor)! I don’t know about you guys but I am stoked and mailing in my application as I type this post. Now, by purchasing lots of things on credit, I am actually actively working my way toward enlightenment. CO2 producing gasoline at $2.50 a gallon? Charge it. $100 bar tab? What would Buddha do? The more that the U.S. sinks into debt the more we are actually improving our collective karma. In no time at all we’ll be able to work off that whole Iraq thingy. This is so much more worthwhile than that stupid desi(RED) campaign.

It’s Everywhere you want to be!

Look, just think of it this way. You KNOW that you’ll never be able to redeem your dollars for airline miles. The airlines always screw you on that stuff by making you fly on a Wednesday at midnight. Rather than waste your time with cards that give you miles or cash back, why not use a card that will help save your eternal soul? I’m just sayin’.

47 thoughts on “Buying your way to Nirvana. One charge at a time.

  1. Nina, try to imagine what the rampaging blue-skinned female debt collectors might look like. wink 😉

  2. This is beyond brilliant.

    I mean that literally. I clicked the link, and still can’t tell if the card is a parody or not. Wow, they (whomever they are) have raised the game with this one.

    Someone, uh, enlighten me. Is this a parody?

  3. Nina, try to imagine what the rampaging blue-skinned female debt collectors might look like. *wink* 😉

    Ooh…they’d collect with all four sets of arms! Arms arms everywhere.

    (I need one of those cards…I am going to hell after the statement above)

  4. You KNOW that you’ll never be able to redeem your dollars for airline miles.

    I disagree Abhi. I have the Delta Amex card, combined with the amount I travel (giving me medallion status), I get tickets very easily. Direct flights at exact times can be found if you book them a little ahead of time.

    Then again, cash back is equally good.

  5. i would love to have been present at the meeting where this idea was first broached. and if this is an “enlightenment” card that is “socially’ conscious, why do all the accrued points go to rewards for oneself instead of others? i remember looking for a charity credit card, and they were so stingy with what they gave away to the charities as a percentage of what you buy. you get more rewards for yourself. at least this card could offer to use a more “enlightened” conversion rate in helping you give your points to charities.

  6. I disagree Abhi. I have the Delta Amex card, combined with the amount I travel (giving me medallion status), I get tickets very easily.

    I hate you.

  7. I hate you.

    Why you got to be hating brother? 🙂

    We will always be passengers unlike you.

  8. Wow. It isn’t even April 1st yet. Somehow, I think a “Mr. T” comment about pitying fools would be appropriate here, but there are just so many to choose from.

  9. You know what they say. There are only two things that are guaranteed in life. Death and Texas.

    Ha ha ha ha I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.

  10. Wow. All parodists can retire now.

    Dude, George Bush fucking killed satire. How can you make fun of someone who works so hard at making himself look that stupid?

    Totally OT, but I’m so bummed I missed the hip hop convo on the Nina P thread before it closed. I didn’t know there were heads on SM! Somebody name-dropped El-Producto, and then someone else quoted Chuck D! This blog is so rad.

  11. Awesome, awesome! So awesome! Super spriritual card with punya points so I can go to spa/yoga for the good of the world. yaaay!

    Unrelated to this, I’m thrilled to be back to reading SM. I defended my dissertation last week and now have completed a week of post-defense blues as well. Haven’t been able to read for months, but for many months before that, SM was a great help in keeping on… What can I say? I love you all! Now I’ll have to read through months of back posts …. But I’m going to read all the threads I’ve missed, starting now and going backwards.

  12. Dude, George Bush fucking killed satire. How can you make fun of someone who works so hard at making himself look that stupid?

    Rahul, why do you hate freedom?

    Totally OT, but I’m so bummed I missed the hip hop convo on the Nina P thread before it closed. I didn’t know there were heads on SM! Somebody name-dropped El-Producto, and then someone else quoted Chuck D! This blog is so rad.

    Dude, I was just thinking the same thing! I posted this response about sampling and then the thread gets closed before any heads can spittin’. Do you like Peanut Butter Wolf? Anything off of Stones Throw? Either way, drop me a line on my blog if you want to continue this dialog.

    Threadjack aside, I think Kobayashi nails it in 3 and 5. My first reaction was “hmm, maybe I should use this card to buy some hufu,” the only other product that that comes close to blurring the line between crass consumerism and self-parody the way this card does.

  13. “hmm, maybe I should use this card to buy some hufu,”

    What the heck? That is disturbing. I’m brain dead from my thesis (done!), but what else would be on your crass consumerism/self-parody list?

  14. DJ Drrrty Poonjabi

    My first reaction was “hmm, maybe I should use this card to buy some hufu

    I bow to you! (Facing you ofcourse 😀 )

  15. I know a lot of you ABCDs/Indian-Americans might be ticked about this, but it is precisely stupid stunts like this (Om on a credit card? Because one eats organic, one has a right to a card with Om on it? WTF! Om is a Hindu religious symbol. How easy it is to usurp my relgious symbols and identity without having the LEAST understanding about what it is all about) that make us Indians pissed at the arrogance of the West.

  16. How easy it is to usurp my relgious symbols and identity without having the LEAST understanding about what it is all about

    Don’t worry. Rappers wear 24k crucifixes with strippers rubbing against them, Muslims and Sikhs have all become terrorists, Abercrombie has Buddha-belly t-shirts and George Bush laughs at atheists. At least the West discriminates equally, right? No child (of God) left behind. =)

  17. I know a lot of you ABCDs/Indian-Americans might be ticked about this, but it is precisely stupid stunts like this (Om on a credit card? Because one eats organic, one has a right to a card with Om on it? WTF! Om is a Hindu religious symbol.

    For whatever reason, your assertion reminds me of this passage:

    (Jerry at Confession) Jerry: … I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s converted to Judaism just for the jokes. Father: And this offends you as a Jewish person. Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian.

  18. I just got a check from a woman the other day that read “God loves to receive ‘knee’ mail” (geddit???). Checks are produced with crosses and other symbols of Christian faith (with the exception of the ‘Buddy Christ’- that’ll be the day) all the time. This doesn’t offend me as a Christian, but maybe my sensibilities are lax.

    Om is a Hindu religious symbol. How easy it is to usurp my relgious symbols and identity without having the LEAST understanding about what it is all about) that make us Indians pissed at the arrogance of the West.

    Coincidentally, when my Indo-Protestant girlfriends and I were in high school, we were very into Om, both on aesthetic and symbolic levels. We found matching rings on a trip to Mexico, and my best friend ended up getting a tattoo of one. That’s actually where I drew the line, as I liked the sentiment, but knew it wasn’t my religion. So, I apologize for being an arrogant Indian, but I believe my intentions were good.

    (Side note: At age 22 I thought Om tattoos were super cliche, so of course I went the other route and got a tattoo in sanskrit.)

  19. In Tamil En=My. So this card would lighten my pocket:) Pretty smart thinking by some Visa executive who is into some new age stuff and wants to cater to this niche market. If this product succeeds he/she will get to go higher and higher in the organisation and get the corner office nirvana, or if it fails then the person will be banished to sanyasam or vanavaasam or a sabbatical or retreat.

    Here are the 8 card options called Consciousness, Infinite, Wisdom, Peace, Truth, Love, Meditate and Enlightenment!

    Here are the products on offer Don’t miss the bestsellers on the right!

    Here are the 17 charities listed

    Goes to show that there is a commercial niche everywhere. As long as the card users themselves don’t mistake it as a substitute for their individual efforts on the spiritual quest it is all well and good.

  20. i saw this link on the news tab. was hoping someone would bring it up. real funny post abhi.

    In no time at all we’ll be able to work off that whole Iraq thingy.

    haha.

    of course that doesn’t take away from me being pissed off about this ‘visa’ company making a mockery out of my religion.

  21. Is anyone tempted to get an Om card before they stop offering them – and they will stop offering them, they’ll be hearing from anti-defamation groups very soon if not already, and they don’t want the controversy – then close the account and keep the plastic as a collector’s item?

  22. So how to you redeem your karma-kard points?

    By not getting turned into an insect in your next life…duh!

  23. I think this card is ridiculous, but I also think those anti-defamation activist groups generally tend toward the ridiculous. I came across a Hindu anti-defamation website just the other day — now I can’t find it — citing as a case of defamation a car advertisement that depicted Ganesha. Okay, fine, but the actual transgression, almost exactly in their words (I really wish I could find the website) was this:

    “Ganesha’s arms are waving in every direction.”

    Tsk tsk. Cannot have that Ganesha simply-simply waving his arms every which way, no? Most unbecoming for a deity.

  24. Look at me, I’m sooo spiritual, man. I even have a card with my exotic credentials to prove it.

    The buddha in my yard? I put it on the card. The tattoos of Hindus? On the card too.

  25. It’s a new day, and I still can’t believe this is not satire. Look at the promotional copy on the site:

    The Enlightenment Visa Reward Card was founded on the idea that money is energy and if used with positive and integrative intention, can have the power to affect change in our lives and the world. Everyone uses a credit card, so why not have one where people can earn points towards positive products and services that enhances their overall conscious life?

    That does it. I refuse to go on living in a world where anyone can write this with a straight face. This is not offensive to religion, it’s offensive to human intelligence. It’s ridiculous. At this point, I have to seriously consider seppuku.

  26. Is anyone tempted to get an Om card before they stop offering them – and they will stop offering them, they’ll be hearing from anti-defamation groups very soon if not already, and they don’t want the controversy – then close the account and keep the plastic as a collector’s item?

    I don’t see it as defamation. You can’t have higher exposure and “purity” at the same time. They have breakdancing competitions in Slovenia for crying out loud, but it all started in the South[f] Bronx.

  27. Since the revolution, in Nepal, they have changed the face of a hundred rupees from that of a king to the Buddha’s.

    Money=Lakshmi=King=Buddha=C Card=Omh=enlightenment???

  28. It’s a new day, and I still can’t believe this is not satire.

    Well, what leads me to believe it’s satire is that there is no concrete info about the card such as APR, grace period etc on the website. Or maybe enlightened folks don’t care about stuff like that.

    Like somebody said, it would be nice to have such a card where instead of points they donate to the cardholders selected charity.

  29. Well, what leads me to believe it’s satire is that there is no concrete info about the card such as APR, grace period etc on the website. Or maybe enlightened folks don’t care about stuff like that.

    If you dig around a little, it’s there. And the APR is pretty shitty, prime +7.99 which according to the website is currently 15.99. You do get 6.9 for the first 6 months, though, so make sure to build your karma points then and pay them off before they cost you too much!

  30. I bought my house in cash.

    Coach, Looks like you truly hate “credit”. But without “credit” and leverage american economy would be much smaller. I do agree that using credit cards to borrow money to buy regular stuff is stupid and gets a lot of people into debt quickly.

  31. I have to seriously consider seppuku.

    Can I have your stuff? I promise to use it with positive and integrative intention, to affect change in our lives and the world. Also I hear you have a good CD collection.

  32. If OM on a shirt is okay and I have seen Indians in India were shirts made in India with OM on it, I see no problems with OM on a credit card….

  33. Nina, I think I’ll get an OM card just for the coolness factor 😀

  34. Ooo, taz, $3.15 seems cheap. Gas is $3.30 here in the Bay (gag).

    This is kind of really amazing, actually. Would Buddha’s face wear off if you were going for “rapid karma points”?

  35. What the heck? That is disturbing. I’m brain dead from my thesis (done!)

    I totally understand, it’s 6am and I’m still writing this $&^#%! paper.

    but what else would be on your crass consumerism/self-parody list?

    Hehe, I don’t actually have a “list,” nor do I actively seek out products that I deem to be noteworthy in their potential for parody, but I’ll admit that the Hummer H2/H3 and the people who drive them will always elicit, at the very least, a shake of the head from me. (Have you seen their latest commercials? “Restore the Balance” indeed.)