I find the Misbah “Molly” Rana story to be a particularly interesting one insofar as it seems to very handily illustrate the whole “desi-but-not-desi” dialectic that many of my peers and I seem to have undergone over the years. Well, in my case the whole social misfit scenario was a little bit more complicated, what the liking of the mens and the persistent crushing on Saif Ali Khan (call me!), but leaving that aside, there were always certain cultural divides that we were constantly trapped within, both self-imposed and those brought to bear by the parental units—“go abroad to study, only speak English at school, but then come back here as soon as you graduate, because we’re alone and need you, and everyone hates Muslims in the West and don’t you dare question anything we say because we’re a good traditional family and that’s just how things are.”
My caveat, since this seems to have been cropping up just a teeny-tiny bit: I am not making any representations as to a multitude of opinions, perspectives or experiences other than my own, as a gay Pakistani male from a fairly privileged social background. I just want to put that out there so I donÂ’t have to spend another forty minutes deleting angry e-mails accusing me of trivialising the desi experience, because in case anyoneÂ’s confused, IÂ’m not Indian, IÂ’m not British, IÂ’m not American, and seriously I donÂ’t really claim to speak with any authority on issues relating to any/all of those perspectives.Moving right along, for those of you who may not be familiar with this story, Wikipedia has a fairly decent back-story entry about it, but the short version is something like this: Misbah Iram Ahmed Rana is a 12-year-old half Scottish-Pakistani girl who gained some measure of notoriety a few months ago when she and her father (the parents are divorced) flew to Lahore without informing MisbahÂ’s mother, who freaked the hell out and accused her ex-husband of kidnapping the girl in order to make her into a child-bride. Sajad Rana (the father) and Misbah, on the other hand, claim(ed) that the decision to go to Lahore was MisbahÂ’s, and that she wanted to move to Pakistan in order to live with her father and two of her siblings.
Now the semantics of the case are what make it interesting. A news report from the Dawn, Pakistan’s largest English newspaper stated today that the Lahore High Court has ordered Misbah’s return to Scotland. In particular, I was struck by a comment made by one of the judges, who “said that when he had a chat with Misbah she had no perception about ‘halal’ and ‘haram’ and could not distinguish between the two. She also did not know how to offer prayers according to Islamic injunctions.”
The point of the court order was clarified further on in the article, with the legal opinion being based on the fact that the father had “brought her to Pakistan without approaching the competent court and violated the orders of Scottish courts. This removal is flagrantly illegal, deceitful and a dishonest act, the court observed. The court held that Mr Rana had not been an upright, fair and honest man in this case and was guilty of showing disrespect to the court’s orders, which was tantamount to fraud. And thus he could not be allowed to have the premium of such fraud.”
Great. Lovely. We’ve discovered the ratio decidendi for the case, all’s well. What I find amusing—and slightly worrying—though, is that fact that apparently Misbah’s religious knowledge, or lack thereof, seemed to be influential (at least to one of the judges) in the decision as to whether or not she should be allowed to stay in the country. Hell, I know the differences (and just don’t really care that much), and I know how to pray (more on that later, but how MUCH do I love Eid?), but good grief, pop me in a kilt and send me over to Glasgow if that’s really important (yes, I know it’s not the “real” reason, but I need something to work with here). There was a somewhat similar moment some time ago involving a comment made by a member of the Pakistan Cricket Board regarding the suspension of fast bowler Shoaib Akhter, which basically came down to “he drinks and has pre-marital sex, so he kind of deserved to be suspended, neener-neener”.
I canÂ’t believe I just referenced cricket. I feel so fucking butch right now.
I suppose that I just find it interesting that this comment regarding Misbah’s religious knowledge was enough of a factor to (a) be mentioned in the article, and (b) count as a strike against her appeal to be allowed to remain in Pakistan. Once again, I make no representations as to the sincerity or nature of the motivations that prompted said appeal, but I can’t help but wonder just how or why it was considered relevant enough to be brought up in conversation. Maybe this is making a mountain out of a molehill, but the very fact that religion spills over into what is ostensibly very much a secular and legal matter…well, that disturbs me somewhat. It’s a trend I see going on amongst some of my peers as well—more and more of us, who moved back from the US and the UK for a variety of reasons ranging from racist abuse to the Patriot Act and fear of deportation for pretty much any reason, are coming back to religion as the prime motivator for their return. While I bear no one any grudges as far as religious (dis)belief goes, I do find myself wondering how much of these returns to Allah are based in actual faith and how many are predicated on the notion that by re-embracing faith, the transition back into a society that traditionally remained somewhat unwelcoming will be made smoother. Is it just another flailing attempt to somehow locate a sense of cultural proprioceptive identity, or is there something more genuine behind it? I wonder at how widespread the theocratic notion of identity, legitimacy and/or agency will become.
“but good grief, pop me in a kilt and send me over to Glasgow if thatÂ’s really important…”
More importantly, what will you be wearing underneath that kilt?! 😉
I would imagine that her knowledge of basic Islamic practices/concepts might shed light on her state of mind and whether she came to Pakistan voluntarily or was duped/forcibly brought to Pakistan by her dad. If this piece of information was not elicited by the Judge himself and was in fact brought forward as evidence by the Mom’s lawyer, I think this piece of information would have certainly survived a relevancy challenge.
… what will you be wearing underneath that kilt? …
What is it that prompts such a comment? The fact that sin is gay does not give anyone the right to make such comments even if you put a winky-smiley. Maybe, I am just too old to see sex everywhere/find this funny.
Yep. But that does not explain why what is obviously an unimportant part of the case for either side should make it to the newspaper report. The newswallahs certainly seem to consider it central to the case.
Amaun,
When the prospect of Art Malik on screen in a kilt was raised recently, I confess that some of us veered off in to the very same area, though in a slightly more veiled reference.
I guess occasionally we give in to teenage humor.
Then again, that what’s-under-the-kilt question seems to only be wondered about men in that garment, never women……
My Goodness people!
It was just a harmless little joke from one gay guy to another!
Sin, if I’ve offended you in any way, pleae accept my apologies!! 🙂
Or perhaps the faith is being re-embraced as a reaction to the negative reactions elsewhere. It’s like with some kids (sorry guys, I’m a teacher)… adults assume they’re going to be one way (let’s call it “a pain in the ass”) and after awhile it’s easier to actually be that way than to not, because it’s expected of them. Obviously there are a whole lot of other factors at play here, though.
And no, I am not equating being Muslim to being a pain in the ass.
I think right after the part “Posted by sin” it should say “gay pakistani dude” just in case he actually writes a blog without mentioning it a few times.
I’m confused… in her picture she’s shown wearing hijab, yet this judge was convinced of her lack of knowledge about basic Islamic practices? I’m sensing a disconnect here.
On the other hand, kicking Misbah out of the country based on [possibly] still developing beliefs doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like the judge should be on Misbah’s side, after all isn’t the goal to multiply and nurture true believers, instead of turning them away?
However, if the judge truly believes that she is brainwashed into staying, then he gets definite props for not keeping her in Pakistan anyway.
Wow people, chill! Sin, you really bring out the bitch in these people!!! 🙂
Amini: I can’t tell if you are joking or not. If it was a joke: weird. If not: even weirder.
There a many folks on this blog who reference themselves when they write–sort of like setting the scene, if you will–by posting pictures of themselves, mentioning their work, how many kids they have, their age, cultural and political preferences, etc. . I find this schematic referentia kind of nice: sort of like markers that help map what this community looks like and where they are coming from.
BTW: I think more than three words might be necessary to describe who sin is.
Governments, Organizations, basically everyone uses religion as a scape goat. ItÂ’s the easies way to incite the most response. The kid had to go back to Scotland because I am sure the dad is infringing on the custody agreement regarding the child. And maybe the fact that Misbah was female and ‘illiterate’ of the ways of Islam, the Pakistani government didnÂ’t feel they needed to make a fuss.
So you’re alright with every single blog post on here mentioning something desi, but you’re not cool with what sin chooses to mention? What about if he just dropped the “gay”, would that be better for you? And for that matter, he shouldn’t mention his gender either. Neither should any of the other posters. I mean come on Amardeep, do you have to RUB IT IN OUR FACES that you’re male?
Please…
Has anyone considered the PR angle to this from the Pakistani authorities side….The whole thing about the woman from NWFP (correct me if I am wrong) that was raped by fellow tribe members and she was fighting for justice and all the HR organizations made her the poster girl for women’s rights. She was banned from leaving the country and was an embarrasment to Musharraf and his enlightened moderation and then she was finally let go.
May be this is to counteract that episode and show that Pakistan under Musharraf ios truly enlightened. Hence, not wanting this to be in western papers since the mom (Is she Scottish white or desi?) was accusing the father of kidnapping the daughter and making her a child bride (clearly an embarrasssment).
Why doesn’t the west understand that desi men from desh may be patriarchal, abusive, culturally myopic even (we have all seen East is East), but kidnapping of daughter to make child bride…tauba tauba!
I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to make sarcastic rude comments. Forgive me for stepping out of my bounds as a straight Indian female. If you don’t mind I’ll go back into the kitchen and hum Kishore Kumar songs and make butter chicken for all the strong, intelligent males out there.Yet as a straight Indian female I would like to say that I know there is more to Sin than being a gay pakistani male, but I personally found it a bit unnecessary to mention it in each blog he makes because as a writer,blogger,whatever…I think you can seperate yourself from the story. Yes it doesn’t have that schematic referentia that we all so dearly adore, but who gives a flying lulli?
Also, as a straight Indian female I would like to point out that my comment wasn’t as drastic as you make it out to be. It had a slight zing, but nothing more. Finally, as a straight Indian female with really nice hair, manicured nails, and a sassy attitude I’d like to say please stop reading into comments you dumb kundis.
Hah.
Also, go “please yourself”. No really, go do it.
oye chuk dey
Phataaash – Tight bitch slap to all the haters from Amini
Amini you have earned a gay alcoholic halfie (hindu-muslim lafda) desi fan.
Amini you are quite right in pointing out that!!!!
And if you have not noticed by now, SepiaMutiny is over run with extremely politically correct liberals, who will bend over backwards for the ‘Bloggers’. They will jump in to ‘defend/support’ fellow bloggers, but will not criticize or point out the flaws in thier posts,if the situation needs.Talk about objectivity by such ‘arm chair intellects’.And so much for “liberalism”, when they can’t take ‘one’ sarcastic comment…..!! How ironic.
Amini: Perhaps you are not pleasing yourself enough.
Suraj, Being liberal means being open to all points of view except those that are not liberal.
Amini, you’ve earned another fan, making two so far. A person defines his/her sexuality, not the other way around. However, for what it’s worth, I do appreciate gay pakistani male prose. =)
Best in Pythonesque accents: “Excuse me, sir. What is worn under a kilt?” “Nothing, Marm. It’s all in perfect working order.” (rimshot)
Ya think it might not be hard enough in Karachi as a gay man without the haters? Sheesh.
Or perhaps too much. Makes you blind, you know. Or at least short sighted. In more ways than one, it seems.
Oh, complainers-come-lately, if you had been here since the early days, you’d know that there is no extreme political correctness here. And heaven forfend that readers in this community be kind to the people who give up their time and God knows what else to entertain us. Bend over backwards, indeed.
Ooh, that was clever!
seriously? you really think there’s something objectionable in what she said? Thats a laugh.
the ass-kissers are going to be all confused on this one. ordinarily it’d be the thing to do to support the desi female. but this time, hmmmmm. how to be unthinkingly politically correct on this one?
I think I agree with Pritha, who called her out gently and effectively. Every blogger here shares themselves via their posts, whether it’s utilizing Malayalam words or referencing their turbaned appearance.
She has the right to be as sarcastic as she wants to be, but I’m less willing to support that right if it encourages further idiocy regarding “armchair intellects” and the like. I will, however, say that I found her crude exhortation to her critics crass, but that’s often the last resort of those with nothing eloquent left to say.
Damn. Missed the golden age. Looking forward to the renaissance–oh, wait, is it happening now?
There were a couple of ways to read her initial comment, and her explanation seems to me to have been pretty fair-minded….
I would like to say that I know there is more to Sin than being a gay pakistani male
I thought she was within her rights to say what she did, although I cringed at the comment about “politically correct liberals”. But do you hold that against the original comment?
Her initial comment was fine (providing that she will now consistently indict every other blogger here when they do similar); she should have quit while she was ahead.
Soldier, Soldier.
It was just an observation by Amini, quite within her rights. If someone thinks someone is making a song with same tunes, and noticing it is not at all “weird“. Nothing more, Nothing less. I do not think it was rude……unless you want this space is be an echo chamber.
that’s your opinion. I thought her second comment was fine too. Definately not worth a piling on. Communis, you’ve sent out some pretty good retorts yourself. She was sharp-edged, but frankly piling on deserves some kind of reply. Its just such crap to hide behind a crowd and berate one commenter who’s fast getting singled out.
Anyone want to discuss the ACTUAL post? You do? Wunderbar! Let’s begin.
passive aggressive paging on aisle one. SM Intern, if you did your job, it should include not having commenters coming up on the short end of the stick by a crowd of people for no reason.
But anyway, discuss away on the thread.
Gosh, that’s kind of you. I do do my job. There was no “piling” here– she has plenty of people declaring themselves to be her “fans”. THAT is one-sided? You seem angry that I didn’t delete comments from those who wouldn’t consider themselves so– I’m not going to lose any sleep over that.
You mean…after you got your last-word in? How about we all calm down and discuss things without needlessly divisive accusations, lest this thread die before it ever got to be explored.
No, I mean as in, I recognize that you would like to end this discussion, and was ceding further comment. If you think this is a tit for tat arguement, you can win.
@ Amini – I have fallen in love with you… but I am another “gay pakistani dude”… would that matter somehow to how this story ends? 😉
Communis Rixatrix….you have proved my point. Thank YOU!!
Oye gevalt. TigerYogi, call me! I’ll be wearing nothing at all underneath that kilt, other than a deep and abiding sense of shame at having emphasised a cultural locus for the sake of avoiding any misapprehensions (obviously it’s a bit of a lost cause, given the comments, but I will survive). But if anyone has something to say about the post itself, that would be lovely too. 🙂
But all kidding aside, TigerYogi, I’ll still be wearing nothing under that kilt. You can check if you don’t believe me.
Amini, I’ve also fallen in love with you. I’m a straight-ish Bengali girl. Thoughts?
Also, curious … Sin, are you offended by Amini?
Her Mother is not desi. I’m starting to believe Molly/Misbah actually does want to be with her Dad; apparently her elder brother lives in Scotland and has no contact with their Mother.
I must say, it’s too bad that this aspect of your post got lost in the clusterfuckage– I know what it’s like to get attacked here (and via email) and when I first read this:
…I duly noted your caveat with a resigned sense of recognition and a hope that it would head off further confusion/conflagration. While Amini’s words have obviously entertained some here, I sincerely hope Sin’s intent to clarify his position is also noted and understood.
espressa – Nope. With all due respect, don’t really care enough to be offended, heh.
ANNA – Yes, which is what I find interesting, because there’s also been a bit of a traditional response by Pakistani courts in the past to (a) award custody to the father if the child’s not an infant, and (b) Misbah’s argument (in the article) that she wasn’t being allowed to live a life according to Muslim “standards” by her mother sounds like one of those statements that most Pakistanis would be ALL OVER, arguing passionately for her to be able to stay. Weird.
Communis,
Are you TAFKACicatrix…just curious. Nothing more.
Tangent alert
I think of Dawn as the Pakistani equivalent of The Hindu in terms of POV, editorials etc. Has it bothered any desis that The Hindu (very secular and I think the most objective Indian paper) about the religious declaration in the name although it is a vestige of the Raj. Imagine a paper called The Muslim in India. I doubt it would have the circulation of the Hindu.
Back to the actual content of the post – Did the father have custody of the girl? Kidnapping would be a fairly accurate assertion if he only had partial custody in the UK.
Its understood by me at least. Sin was trying to make a caveat that emphasised he was outside the locus of many of the cultural norms discussed in the thread.
I didn’t agree with Amini’s first comment by the way, and would not have said something similiar.
It’s part of the “flavor” of a blogger. People put different things about themselves out there, whether it’s being hetero, political, single, having kids, being a cook. How is mentioning being gay anything different?
And we always think that because we’ve read his introduction and his first post and now know he’s gay he doesn’t need to mention it to anyone. But there are 1000s of people that might click on it for the first time and need the setup. You look up Pakistani Fashion and read words like sort of like vagina-based sexual intercourse you might need a bit more ‘splaining.
And he’s made all of what 4 posts so far? One of which had a very mild mention (I know, I risk losing my homosexual membership card with this admission) of his manloving ways. Abhi talks about being single and ready to mingle all the time too and it’s pretty funny just as what Sin says is funny so why the annoyance at it? Why can’t we think of the set up as necessary for someone else?
I think custody issues are hairy. In this case it’s pretty clear the father should not have manipulated the situation and removed the daughter (no matter how willing she was) without the permission of the mother. You just don’t do that. But the unnecessary mention of her not knowing the difference between halal and haram considering she is a 12 year old western girl of mixed marriage is sort of pathetic. Just about as unnecessary as the mother making it about her father trying to marry her off in Pakistan? When it comes to children and child custody issues people get stupid and ridiculous.
Someone clarify this for me because I am not that familiar with the court systems in India or Pakistan, isn’t it sort of common knowledge that “religion” taints pretty much everything in court? How does one separate religion and culture from the actual laws in that part of the world considering religion dictates so much of daily life for so many people?
Dahlink, there may be some truth to the “not being allowed to live like a good Muslim”-contention; apparently, her Mother was once rather devout, but left Islam and soon wanted to resume her “Western” lifestyle, including pork, alcohol etc.
The pendulum swings so dramatically:
Anna, I read this article that was linked to from the Wikipedia site, which purports to tell the story from Misbah’s point of view, citing quotes from an article with her stating that she enjoyed staying in luxury in Pakistan with her father and siblings instead of in dreary Scotland with mom and stepfather (who called her racial epithets when he was drinking.) Given the situation, I’d choose Pakistan too.
It’s easy these days to call “child marriage alert” in such a situation when you’re a white lady living in Britain estranged from your Muslim husband, and that’s just what Mom did. But it’s not altogether inconceivable that such a thing could happen (Sister’s 18 and married, didn’t say how long, but that’s still pretty young) … so I guess all we have is Misbah’s word to take, and she seems happy. From my experience with them, twelve-year-olds think like miniature adults who think they know everything, but they haven’t quite yet mastered the art of keeping up appearances. If she was coerced into ‘seeming happy’ about her situation, I think her displeasure would have come through whether she intended it or not.
oh, you read it too! heheee.
I wasn’t sure what to make of the “living like a good Muslim” argument in light of the fact that she didn’t know what halal and haram were .. even I know that. Part of me wonders if that wasn’t somehow manipulative on her part… not sure how though.