I’m sure that no one reading this is “fuzzy on that whole area of geography” like the vellamban in the video above, but I have to say, I am immature enough to have found this bit of stuff from “verybadporn.com” EXTRA amusing after the roiling boil over in the comment thread of the post below.
I had read about this clip in the New York Post a few weeks ago and it kept falling further down my “mutinous stuff to potentially post” list; every time I remembered it, I was at Tryst or some hot splotch and I was apprehensive about visiting a site called VERY BAD PORN in public. I know, silly, right? Today, in the privacy of my apartment, I furtively, finally took a look. I wasn’t disappointed. 😉
I love that I watched this spoof in all its PG-13, hilarious glory today of all days, as we quibble over India and Pakistan. 🙂 Pay special attention to what “Sana Summers” says, both about Nepal (she might want to read the answer to question four of our FAQ) as well as activities which, ahem, involve hands. I totally missed the latter joke the first two times I watched. Yenjoy!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
😀
Anna:
Thanks for answering my question.
Anna, i didn’t hear anyting about Nepal or hands. I think your clip ended…er…prematurely.
Lol… I had my doubts but when she handed over the ganguly book I was sold. Work it, woman! The best part is, I love having the “History of South Asia” conversation with people, just… under different circumstances.
what book??? my clip only lasts 45 seconds. I feel confused and inadequate.
o believers! it is impermissable that a kuffar man shall touch the flesh of a believing woman! let both he and she be stoned before the community of the believers!
Haha…I got Razib the MULLAH to believe in more than A+ not T and A!
ANNA, thanks for making me laugh on what has been a really trying day. This clip was hilarious. I love how he says he’s a “fast reader” at the end.
Manju, perhaps the internet or your browser had a problem when you initially downloaded it? It happens. Try clearing your cache and trying to download it again. It’s worth the extra effort.
That’s the funniest thing EVER! I totally wouldn’t mind making another public service announcment like this. Seriously. It’s the only way we can sort out all these identity issues. 🙂
am i the only one to be OFFENDED by a piece of white turkey slapped on top of some smokin’ wheat bread?!?!?! RESPECT THE BROTHERS!
I opened it in quicktime (not windows media) and it lasted longer, ironically. I’m satisfyed.
well, at least they didn’t add mayo.
EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
😉
That was funnier than…me.
What’s a vellamban?
I wanna know too… these mallu words are confusing me at 5 am, Anna-mol. So get your kundi in the driver-uncle’s-seat and babelfish that one for us.
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while! Genius!
Wow… both disturbing and hilarious at the same time 🙂 Just have to remember to clear the cache after this one…
Somebody check if that slut is Hindu girl parading as Abrahamic. If it is another example of Hindu girl shadowing as Pakistani allowing a white man to touch her in public with camera angles then it goes on the list of grievances including SAJA and other rapists of In-dick identity. If she is Muslim then we can use it as propaganda to demoralise them, that their girls also are doing comedy with American men including naked jokes.
Hail Mogambo!
vellamban= white guy/man
p.s. I like when you put malayalam words in your post 😉
Spoorlam welcome back. A lot of people have been chanting your name. Can’t watch this video at work will have to catch it later.
meet too 🙂 not to mention the malu accent on the “yenjoy!”
It was as good for me as it was for y’all.
This is fantastic. And Anna, your timing is impeccable.
Yes in future millions will chant my name.
Hail
SpoorLamMogambo!Very funny (there should be a “vaguely NSFW” warning on this thread, though). The “where is Iraq ?” reference was brilliant.
Could be quite a good technique to use as a mass education tool — teaching people the difference between Hinduism, Islam & Sikhism, the difference between Hindi & Urdu, Sunnis & Shias, Democrats & Republicans, Siddhartha & Mr Kobayashi, and so on and so forth.
🙂
anyone care to type out a blow by blow account. me sits behind a filter and these are the extent of my visitation rights.
In a state of clammy tumescence, I am
sincerely yours, hairy_D
Hairy_d,
Bob the Average American White Guy is trying to make out with his desi girlfriend. After he convinces her to coyly peek out from under her chiffon dupatta, she decides to introduce him to the ancient Eastern arts of canoodling, her mehndi-patterned fingers tracing the air with the allure of oriental promise. She sings a few ghazals to set the mood, tantalisingly teasing our intrepid Western hero and making him feel like a colonial explorer discovering the source of the Ganga for the first time. Just when the gates of paradise are on the brink of opening and nirvana finally awaits Mr Amreeka, he mutters “I’ve never been with an Indian woman before”.
“NAHIIIIIIIIN !!!” she screams. “How dare you call me Indian, like a pathetic Caucasian imitation of SpoorLam trying to oppress my pious West Asian virtue. I am Pakistani. Pakistani, I tell you !”
“Mmooaawff kijiega”, splutters the startled casanova. “Where exactly is Pakistan, that glittering jewel of a nation nestling flirtatiously between the elephant-riding princes of the subcontinent and the hookah-toting hordes of the Sahara Desert ?”
So our beautiful Pakistani princess gets a map and shows him.
And then Angelina Jolie turns up to rescue our demure desi lady from American Boy’s evil clutches and they both run away together hand-in-hand, never to be seen again. The End.
The ever entertaining Jai Singh deserves an honorary position at “Penthouse Letters”, though of note, nowhere in the summary is the mention of mangoes.
😀
Bahout shukriyaa, Jai. I concur with the hui pollowee. It rates two fists from me too.
You get mangoes in the adult version of the story, along with courgettes, knobbly karelas, and various gourds.
OMG hahahahahahah Jai you rock…
Alright I’m seriously waiting for another post to come up soon because everytime I open SM that picture on the top opens up on my screen with a million people behind me in my office. Not cool.
hey … is there a Nov 1 date stamp at the top of the blog? shorely this was posted today… or was it? where am i? wat date is it? what’s going on? hello.. hello. OOooWeeee OoooWwweeee.
Welcome back Spoorlam!
Jai, forget penthouse, you should write for the Black Lace series, we could all use some brownotica! Anna this was funny, hope you have your smile back on.
Absolutely hilarious. I was a bit apprehensive at first but my trepidation soon dissolved into me thinking, “hey, that’s like something I would do.” Well, minus the whole porn thing.
Awesome. I would have totally missed that last joke if I wasn’t looking for it. Thanks Anna.
Waitaminute! The guy is extremely familiar. I remember him doing a sketch at Second City a few months ago.
The reason why the Indian-Hindu identity is constantly attacked here is because there are no Hindu bloggers! That’s right!
Abhi- Sufi Deist Anna- Christian Ennis- Sikh Amardeep – Sikh Vinod- Christian Siddharta-Hip Hop/Jewish Neha- Agnostic Sajit-Maybe Hindu but irrelevant, because he posts so little.
Arguing for Indianness here is like preaching chicken-eating at a vegetarian society. Go elsewhere and be entertained macacas.Don’t waste your time.
You got at least a couple wrong there but I’ll let the offended party go apeshit on you.
You’re confusing me with this guy.
We need a Hindoo MC Paul Barman in these secular times, and we need Him now. That jigga was hilarious, not since Nas have we awaited a return to form so eagerly.
mudslide:
Actually, all of those you listed are irrelevant, and some are inaccurate, too.
Indeed. Ennis and I are WAY more Jewish than Siddhartha. DUH.
Nevermind THAT guy, let’s have a chat about this guy.
The video was, eh, ok. A promise of “very bad porn” led me to expect…oh, never mind what I expected…
But “hip-hop Jewish” had me shaking helplessly with laughter. Thanks Mudslide!
That was funniest thing ever and then i read this
Just brilliant Mr. Singh
You know, that might be one of the most fulfilling displays of foreplay ever. The eroticism! The sensuality! THE KNOWLEDGE.
Someone get Sana Summers an agent, stat.
Can y’all put some variety in your cross-dating things? Emo dating is great but what about a dating dilemna of a different kind? What would be terific is a desi dude getting down with a woman from mexico who then broke down the regional differences between Guerrero and Nuevo Leon. :-). You know what I mean….all in fun I hope