“Don” – Paan + Tae Kwon = Long

Don_27.jpg
Actually, the new Shah Rukh Khan movie Don isn’t as bad as you might expect, given all the negative reviews (for instance). It’s also shaping up to be a box office success.

Farhan Akhtar is probably the most hyped director in the new wave of Bollywood film directors. Though he comes from an old B-wood family (his father Javed co-wrote the script of the original Don), Farhan’s first film, Dil Chahta Hai showed no signs of film dynasty nepotism. Dil Chahta Hai was considered a stylistic breakthrough because of the realistic (well, relatively) plot and its rebellious attitude, and it became an anthem of sorts for the post-liberalization generation. That sense of clarity or mission is missing here: in his remake of Don, Farhan devotes most of his writer-director energy into matching western action flicks, fight-for-fight, and stunt for stunt. On this he succeeds: I liked the first car chase, and I think the skydiving fight scene is probably a first for Bollywood. There is also a certain amount of Kill Bill theatrical viciousness here that’s novel in the Bollywood hero-villain iconography.

What most of the film’s critics have missed, I think, is the basic problem of identity this film symbolizes, a problem which is broader than just this film. Farhan Akhtar seems to be torn between two approaches: on the one hand, he could do a slightly tweaked version of an outdated version of India, from a “disco” gangster movie that wasn’t all that great to begin with. (Yes, I said it.) The upside is you get the warm-and-fuzzy nostalgia atmosphere, but the danger is the mindless perpetuation of the myth of the “glory days” of Bollywood and Amitabh Bachchan, as if we need any more of that. Or: he could make a slick, essentially imported style of action movie, with a few “traditional” songs added to appeal to the folks in UP (the “Mourya Re” and “Khaike Paan Banaraswala” numbers). This film flirts with both but doesn’t fully commit, which shows it fundamentally doesn’t know what it wants to be.

It may be a false choice, but the question continues to nag: will the real, contemporary Indian film aesthetic please stand up? Incidentally, Priyanka Chopra is good here — it’s really the first film where I’ve liked her. For one thing she gets to actually do some serious martial arts fighting, which is usually off-limits for Bollywood actresses. I also liked Boman Irani, as the cop who is after Don, and Arjun Rampal, who has a grudge against the Boman Irani character.

The remixes of old songs are so-so, and most of the new music is pretty bad (the exception being the Ganapati song, “Maurya Re,” and the track by the Midival Punditz). In terms of how the songs are filmed, I have to say I slightly prefer the current style of cheesecake exploitation (Kareena Kapoor) to the old version (Zeenat Aman Helen) — though both are pretty much ridiculous.

But the music for this remake was going to be impossible. How could anyone top the original disco-funk opening to Don 1978? (Maybe if you brought in The Neptunes or Dr. Dre you could top that, but otherwise I don’t see how it could be done.)

More Youtube bits: Khaike Paan Banaras (new) vs. the original Khaike (Amitabh Bachchan wins this song, hands down)

Amitabh’s entry in the original Don

A fight sequence from the original Don

59 thoughts on ““Don” – Paan + Tae Kwon = Long

  1. This film flirts with both but doesnÂ’t fully commit, which shows it fundamentally doesnÂ’t know what it wants to be.

    The eternal dilemma of contemporary brown folks, no? I think I’ll watch the movie just for solidarity reasons. Great review, Amardeep!

  2. Are these remakes (Don, Umrao Jaan, RGV’s Sholay) a sign of dying intellectual property in Bollywood? First they copied American movies, styles, dances, settings, landscapes. Now, with their copies being caught in hand, have they no choice but to remake their own? Cinematic cannibalism? Will there ever be a time when a Bollywood movie could now seem original without their Gap shirts (KKHH), LV handbags (KANK), or Diesel jeans (Don) set in popular landscapes of Hollywood? I expect a “Sikhs in the City” show anytime, where we’ll have 4 desi gals, over 30, educated, gorgeous, and successful, and won’t be able to find men to marry.

  3. The eternal dilemma of contemporary brown folks, no?

    Yes, seems like it. Though I think most ordinary people are more creative at managing different cultural frameworks than the movies. Bollywood tends to be a bit clumsy and exaggerated on this stuff.

    Are these remakes (Don, Umrao Jaan, RGV’s Sholay) a sign of dying intellectual property in Bollywood?

    Hm, it occurred to me. There is still some originality in Hindi cinema — Lage Raho Munnabhai for instance. But you have to wait for it.

    I expect a “Sikhs in the City” show anytime, where we’ll have 4 desi gals, over 30, educated, gorgeous, and successful, and won’t be able to find men to marry.

    That’s funny, Meera Syal (of Goodness Gracious Me and The Kumars at No. 42) wrote a novel exactly like this a few years ago. It’s called Life Isn’t All Ha Ha Hee Hee.

  4. This is probably the worst movie I have seen in a while, but then I haven’t seen many HIndi movies in a long time. For those of us who have seen the original Don, the night and day difference between the original and the copy is so conspicuous. The only saving grace being the Kareena number lifted from the original Don! And if this is as good as the Badshah of Bollywood’s acting gets, then I feel very sorry for Bollywood’s standards as well as for the taste of his fans.

  5. The eternal dilemma of contemporary brown folks, no?

    It doesn’t HAVE to be that way; you don’t HAVE to just be tossed around by the waves. You CAN think about the issue carefully and decide which aspects of your culture you want to keep, which you want to ditch, and which elements of the global western world you want to penetrate into your life (to the extent you have a choice). Most desis do inherit an identity, which in this day and age of rootlessness, is more and more a luxury…if you lose it, and regret it later, it’s your fault. If you don’t regret it, then it’s all good.

  6. What most of the filmÂ’s critics have missed, I think, is the basic problem of identity this film symbolizes, a problem which is broader than just this film.

    I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I get the feeling from your review that it INADVERTENTLY symbolizes the identity problem, more or less by default since the film itself is the result of an identity problem on the part of its makers and perceived audience; it is not a deliberate, artistic look at urban India’s identity problem. I would like to see the latter.

  7. (Kareena Kapoor) to the old version (Zeenat Aman) —

    That is classic Helen, before t-Hype, DesiDancer, Filmiholic and their team finds out about your faux pas.

  8. Amitabh, that’s right — the schizophrenia is inadvertent, though I think this movie exemplifies it especially well. It’s at once very western and very typical Bollywood.

    And Kush, thanks for the link and the correction.

  9. That’s funny, Meera Syal (of Goodness Gracious Me and The Kumars at No. 42) wrote a novel exactly like this a few years ago. It’s called Life Isn’t All Ha Ha Hee Hee.

    …..Followed by a 3-part BBC television drama based on the book, in 2005. Please see here for the official website. (Also includes some clips).

    Starred Meera Syal, Laila Rouass, and Ayesha Dharker in the 3 main female roles. Personally, I really liked it.

  10. It doesn’t HAVE to be that way; you don’t HAVE to just be tossed around by the waves. You CAN think about the issue carefully and decide which aspects of your culture you want to keep

    It’s not always possible to make conscious decisions about cultural issues.

    I’m still pretty optimistic for Bollywood, I think at some point they will figure out how much the want to incorporate from Hollywood/Asian cinema. Right now, it seems like a sandbox phase, the whole CGI stuff is a hammer for every nail. A lot of younger movie-makers want Indian cinema to be respected all over, and try to remake old movies to make them better/accessible. It’s like some dude who tries to adapt to western culture by adopting a fake accent…you can only go so far with that stuff.

  11. Havent seen the movie but i def will. All the critics have basically torn it apart becuz they are comparing it with the old DON. This movie should be taken on its own and critiqued solely on that.

    Jaan-E-Man, released on the same day and is a much better movie but due to their clash DON is faring better collecting money. Negative reviews dont bother anybody. Look at this years biggest movies – KANK, Krrish, Fanaa. They were all aburdly bad but it didnt effect their boxoffice collections.

    Are these remakes (Don, Umrao Jaan, RGV’s Sholay) a sign of dying intellectual property in Bollywood?

    Remakes and sequels is the way to go. Krrish, Lago Raho and Phir Hera Pheri all have made lot of money so everybody is jumping the bandwagon and making another one. SRK is even comtemplating making DON 2…god help us

  12. Musical, I see your point, but I wanted to mention that lots of people have been spelling it “Maurya Re” in their English renditions, as evidenced by the results of this google search. (If that link doesn’t work for you, do a search for “don maurya re” and you’ll see what I mean)

  13. sup all! So I just saw the movie yesterday. It wasn’t as bad as I had feared. And what’s with this identity issues talk? Maybe I’m lower brow than some folk here, but to me this was a stylish, western-style take on a very basic story. I did like that this version was set in as different a time as seemed possible, though the use of green tint seemed overdone and stopped contributing to the feeling of grittyness very soon. Other things I appreciated were the largely successful action work – probably the best stylish desi action I’ve seen so far. Bolly movies’ action is quite weak, to the point of being child-friendly, and this is not that. Farhan I think did justice to the movie, it didn’t seem like a wanna-be original, it seemed like simply an non-copy. One overall issue I had was the length of the movie. It could stand to lose about 20min. Perhaps I’ve gotten too accustomed to angrezy movies.

    The original don was ordinary except for Amitabh – its all about his face, dialog, delivery, and voice. For a lot of his movies of that period, it’s easy to mix them up when watching his close-ups. But no matter, his work is ALL good! Did I mention his voice?!! The problem here is – SRK looks old finally, though amazingly fit for a man of 40. His dialog delivery wants to sound threatening, but comes across as sort of throaty and hissy at the same time.

    Boman works very well for all things that are not action. A couple of times his open-car-door-and-begin-running shots were lethargic, and his gait along with his stoop seemed to come from a bad case of piles (not being vicious, his body language was wrong). If he wishes to get more active scenes, he needs to drop some weight and start training for a more open, athletic body language. On the other hand, Arjun Rampal’s character was either written very well, and/or played exceptionally well by him. I really liked him as older, grittier, intense, pissed off person who uses a walking stick. The fight sequence between srk and him were done very well.

    The girls were good looking but mostly decoration. Priyanka’s opening, foo-fighter sequence was gratuitous, though I can see how farhan was trying to set her up as a foo-fighter. Kareena looked fat or at least plump – it may have been a function of the size of her dress, but whatever, it could have been a hotter girl for that item number.

    Overall, I think I ‘paisa-vasooled’ about $7 out of $10.

  14. Oh and let me add that while ‘pyar ka deewana’ redo works, ‘khaike paan’ does not at all. That was the one crappy copy/wanna-be, can’t be self type moment for the movie. SRK comes off a distant second to Amitabh. He didn’t need that comparison in addition to the rest of the movie. For Farhan to try that song was a real weakness and that for me considerably pushed the movie to wanna-be original though in final analysis the new don stands on its own.

  15. In your somewhat effusive review of Don, you pose the following question:

    “will the real, contemporary Indian film aesthetic please stand up?”

    I would like you to elaborate this “Indian film aesthetic” bit a little more. I find this question – posed quite clearly in a non-interrogative spirit – replete with possibilities.

    You have mentioned Midival Punditz in connection with a certain track of the film, I have gone up and down searching for their contribution on the original site but have sadly not come across their names mentioned anywhere. Could you kindly give more details as I am always a bit intrigued by complimentary references to the Punditz duo.

    I’m not quite sure but painting the screen in such saturated hues of saffron… even if it is about Ganapati Bappa MaureyaÂ… is to me always a bit discomforting. I had earlier raised this question with Javed Akhtar about Dil Chahta Hai as to how a film with a Muslim director (Farhan), lyricist(Javed Akhtar), composer (Ehsaan), actors (Aamir and Saif) could forget to give space to the yuppie, cosmopolitan Muslim youth in their fictional world!

    That Chandra Barot Don was nothing much to write home about, I accept. But there was something very unusual happening at the level of its hermeneutic code. The idea of keeping a wounded gangster alive and replacing him with a double was within the nascent Bollywood cinema was quite unique. In fact, much later, a director like John Woo was to dramatically play with the same idea in Face-off until it was trivialised by David Dhawan in Aankhen. The reverse had been tried out in a Navin Nischol film Mein Who Nahin. I wonder if there was a hint of the foetal (pun intended) cyborg!

    Writing about the moving digital image, Jean-Pierre Geuens mentions how within the newly emergent visual order “the scene itself is no longer the primary focus; what matters most is the visual mesh that shapes what is going on. Moviemaking has now become a question of looks.” I wonder if in your comments on Don you are not conflating style with looks. Lev Manovich goes a step further and makes the following observation:

    While previously the great text of culture from which the artist created her or his own unique ‘tissue of quotations’ was bubbling and shimmering somewhere below the consciousness, now [the entire creative process] has become externalized (and greatly reduced in the process).

  16. This thing about collections is a bit of a hogwash. Gone are the days when we used to have silver, golden and diamond jubilees when collections were never as huge as they are today and came in a trickle. Today, a film’s financial success depends entirely on how you strategize your market – whether you as a film producer are able to

    a) get somebody like Yashraj Films to distribute your product b) whether you have enough clout with the media to generate a near hysterical hype c) whether you have enough money to release thousands of print in one go simultaneously across the globe

    If you are able to do that and ensure a housefull even for a single week you have made a whopping profit. If you have ensured housefull for two weeks your film is deemed a superhit.

  17. Panini: something strange here: David Dhavan and Aankhen? Unless there was some other film with this name, the movie (with amitabh, akshay kumar, arjun rampal etc etc) was made by vipul shah (i think) and had nothing to do with… face off. there was however an adaptation of the theme in aks by rakesh mehra of rdb cult fame.

  18. Amardeep, i understand what you mean-Google seems full of this spelling (which is not correct).

    and as a die-hard SRK fan i won’t think anything negative about this movie :)).

    good review.

  19. David Dhawan‘s Aankhen starring Govinda, Chunky Pandey and a monkey was a huge hit!

  20. Saw the movie in Bahrain over the ‘Saudi Weekend’ (Thu and Fri). It was very interesting see a large portion of Saudi families congregating in the cinema to watch the movie. For someone working and living in Saudi for the first time, sighting Saudis in a multiplex and lining up for a desi show (it was a house-full; we missed the 2:00 pm and 3:30 pm show, but only got tickets for 5:00 pm show), it was a paradox on many levels!

    In any event, the movie will end up being a hit going by the box-office sales.

    The movie is very well put together on a technical level that at least kept the in-the-seat-fidgeting to the minimum. But I fail to see what people see in Hakle-Khan. Rendition of ‘Khai Ke..’ was singularly atricious with SRK trying hard to mimic the indomitable style of AB as a paan loving simpleton and failing miserably. I don’t think any other actor can even come close to capturing the essence of this type of character (or that of a drunken man).

    On the other hand, my cousin a die-hard fan of SRK and she cannot get a handle on herself about how much she liked SRK’s acting. Boman did a great job, especially the scene where he stages his abduction and the climactic fight sequence. Arjun Rampal was suprisingly good in Pran’s new avatar as Dipu father.

  21. I personally like the new rendition of Khaike Paan Banaraswala… but I agree it seems a bit forced when compared to the original version. I think it goes back to what Amardep said in a way…for the current crop of actors, it’s a real stretch to portray some of these desi character types, because the actors have no way to relate to them or any life experience to help them (although Shah Rukh is a lot more rooted than many others). At least Amitabh Bachchan, despite his sophistication and worldliness, felt equally comfortable in a small-town U.P. setting, and could convincingly play characters from that background.

  22. I cant believe you actually liked the mauraya song! Thats the worst song of the lot. Its a weak-ass attempt to bollywoodize the ganapati dhols. If you’ve hear them live, then this song falls completely on its face.

  23. At least Amitabh Bachchan, despite his sophistication and worldliness, felt equally comfortable in a small-town U.P. setting, and could convincingly play characters from that background.

    I think that was his genius. I remember seeing Coolie while in the Desh. It made me realize us brown men don’t have to take nothing off nobody. He was Tony Montana, but much better adjusted and without the anger issue. And now he’s one of the classiest actors in the world, bolly or holly. What a dude. I’m just re-stating what every desi guy thinks probably

  24. Haven’t seen the original Don – except the songs when they appeared on Chhaya Geet. This Don was OK – good beginning, good end but the middle sagged – they needed to cut down an hour’s worth of padding. And I know movies need not be rational – or maybe I missed something – how come the “blank” disc as stated by SRK in the end was viewed earlier on in the film by Jasjit’s friend and proclaimed as valuable?

  25. Panini around again to regale everyone with some of fake scholarliness. Maybe you shd go back to the late ’50s Shammi Kapoor Bluffmaster and ask that director why he wanted to taint it with some B&W saffron with the rousing Govinda Ala Re. A movie sometimes is simply a movie, sabe? The Hindi movie is an artificial aesthetic (maybe all aesthetics are). The Hindi movie aesthetic is based on the experience of Punjabis and the 300 year old synthetic UP culture being brought together as migrants among a strong Marathi and Gujarati culture in Bombay. That’s a far more fasinating subject of study than some patently bogus utterings about the hermeneutic code I told you this before and will tell you again. After you cut and paste spend a few hours reading what you have pasted and then if it still makes sense to you, post. Panini like most newcomers to the Hindi movie scene is only now discovering strategising and such like. Beedu you quite clearly are a greenhorn. The folks who run the movie business in India could write books on strategising and marketing, only they have better things to do. That’s been going on for years. And some of them will narrate you plots that would make Mrinal Sen’s more storied creations seem like eye candy. The movie business (aka industry) provides their daily bread to 1000s of marginalised folk North South East and West. It is one of those truly integrated institutions of India. Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains, freethinkers and many others speaking many languages eating all kinds of foods live and work together in a way that is a sight to behold. The industry does not make movies about Muslims or Hindus or Christians or Sikhs. It makes movies about people and believes in a very naive but wise way that people at heart are the same. When Raj Kapoor sang “Hindu Muslim Sikh Isai, sab ko mera salaam,” he meant it and the industry still does.

    There are plenty of Geuens and Manovichs in Hollywood too; and they make up for their lack of talent by spouting some high flown verbiage. And they have a lot of time for sure. After all what would you do when nobody bothers to watch your movies.

  26. Sonia, he was there in a car seat, sleeping nearly the entire time. We had a bottle on hand, and he squirmed a little during the bad, loud songs — but otherwise we were fine. (No need to become total stay-at-home obsessive parents yet.)

    Incidentally, we weren’t the only ones there — lots of other car seats at this particular screening! I think it’s a desi thing, actually: a combination of “babysitter, what’s a babysitter?” and bollywood addiction (mild, in my case, I hope. I can stop anytime I want to… really, I can… ;-).

  27. I loooove the original Khaike Paan and from the few clips and trailers I’ve seen on YouTube of the new Don, it’s just not likely to match up at all. Shahrukh Khan is capable of doing a few different characters/emotions, and I’ve seen all of them already, so why bother.

    AM – it’s nice that someone else remembers Chhaya Geet! I remember when I was growing up we’d get videocassettes of Western music songs (MTV/Top of the Pops) from Shemaroo video library and sometimes they’d be labelled “Chhaya Geet” – so MTV was firangi Chhaya Geet!

    Saira – there was talk of a desi Sex and the City a little while ago, with Rekha (I kid you not!) in Samantha’s role. No idea what happened to that.

  28. Amardeep – I find it amusing that you make such an effort to analyse the movie. If only the director had taken it as seriously as you do 🙂

    My friend’s comment about this movie: “If you had doubts that SRK was gay before, this movie will confirm it”

    Personally, I swore not to watch a SRK movie after DDLJ. He is such an overactor.

  29. How about megahits like “Tezaab” and even “Ghadar” that ridiculed the idea of “Hindu Muslim Sikh Isaai” unity? Look at LRMB carefully, you may find residual traces of communalism. Lev Manovich, incidentally, is too big a name to be dismissed lightly. It is like a Duke alumni like Amardeep ridiculing Frederic Jameson!

  30. Panini, it seems as if you are either asleep when the movie is on or… OK I forgot about that – you simply cut and paste from the reviews! OK! I will amend that sequence for you – Cut – Paste – Read – (Watch Movie) – Understand – and then post! Lev Manovich? Big deal! We are talking of film-makers not professors. Anyway big names don’t matter in the movies. Every person in the ‘industry’ knows you are only as good as your last movie. And Panini this is about the movies so we won’t waste our time with kooky things like Marxism. Here’s a line from that other Marx in the movies – Groucho Marx

    -Dad, the garbage truck is here -Tell him we can go – we don’t need any

    Look forward to other literary insights, Panini. Keep ’em coming, we need the laughs!

  31. I’m not quite sure but painting the screen in such saturated hues of saffron… even if it is about Ganapati Bappa MaureyaÂ… is to me always a bit discomforting.

    Well, it is a privately-funded movie, right? So shouldn’t they be able to portray what they wish and leave it to the public to approve/disapprove? If it was a GOI-funded thing, I might agree with you. Are you saying privately-funded movies do not have the right (you didn’t phrase it that strongly) to portray the culture of a very large segment of their viewing audience, all in a desire to avoid ‘saffron hues’? By including Ganapati Bappa Maorya, are they putting down anyone else’s religion or culture (I don’t believe they are), or merely celebrating their own/audience’s (which is how I saw it)?

  32. We had a bottle on hand, and he squirmed a little during the bad, loud songs

    Excellent, Amardeep. Your son is already learning to discern bad Bollywood… a very useful skill indeed, something he will be called upon to do many many times in the future…until eventually he refuses to go see any more movies with you guys! Then he’ll come around to them again later…although I shudder to think what Bollywood will be like in 20 years.

  33. No I’m not saying that Amitabh! I’m merely expressing my sense of discomfiture. Is there something wrong with that? Having lived through the worst of times in our recent history and having worked day and night in defence of communal harmony, we cannot afford to be as normal as some of you lucky ones can.

  34. with a few “traditional” songs added to appeal to the folks in UP (the “Mourya Re” and “Khaike Paan Banaraswala” numbers).

    I have the same musical and aesthetic tastes as the folks in UP. Excellent!

  35. I am just curious whether the same level of discomfiture arises when Panini Pothoharvi listens to Vinod Khanna and Feroz Khan singing “Allah Ko Pyari Hai Khurbani” ?

    I think the director just used that song to represent the spirit of Mumbai just like “Yeh hai Bambai Nagariya Tu Dekh Babua”. Now, if a Hyderabadi guy like me is pissed off because Amitabh has not mentioned Hyderabad in the song, then I am free to skip the movie.

  36. Gopi, you forget something. Panini simply does a cut and paste while talking about all the “in” things. Are you by chance taking the person seriously?

  37. Shiva, why all the hate? Panini is just expressing his opinion (which I also disagreed with to an extent). By the way, Panini, is the Pothoharvi in your handle an indication of your family roots in the Potohar region (Rawalpindi and nearby districts) in Pakistan? Can you speak/understand Potohari (a variant of Punjabi)?

  38. Yes Gopi, if your question arises out of simple curiosity, the “Qurbani” song makes me very uneasy. Not only this song but all the latest film songs dealing mindlessly with the concept of ‘fana’a’ as if it was some sort of a spiritual invitation to espouse death in a state of frenzy. I also disapprove of jingoistic paeans to Hazrat Ali including Nusrat Fateh Ali’s “Ali Imam-e-manst-o-manam ghulam-e-Ali” and even “Ali da pehla number” from “Dum-a-dum mast Qalandar”! If your question is part of a larger symptomatic derision which the secularists in India are subjected to on a daily basis, even then the answer is the same. I remain intensely opposed like all the other Indian secularists to the clerical fatwas on Salman Rushdie, their overall position on the Shahbano case and more recently on the Imrana case.

    Yes Amitabh, my ancestral roots go back to Pothohar even if I do not speak the pothohari dialect myself.

  39. Panini:

    For the longest time I was wondering why you used the name of a sandwich as your handle…it just dawned on me that there was a famous grammarian named Panini in ancient India (calling him a mere grammarian doesn’t do justice to him of course), and I think he may have even hailed from what later became known as Potohar (or maybe what was called Gandhara in those days). Taxila city, I think.

  40. You are right Amitabh – Panini indeed was from the Pothohar region and I am named after him even (my father’s deep desire to see me as a grammarian remained sadly unfulfilled) though I’m often ridiculed by my Euro-American friends for being “so strangely” named. I wish Amardeep would someday do a focus on the other Panini. He was, as they say, awesome.

  41. Panini-saab, didn’t you yourself start a blog at some point? (This might be a task which you could do better than others, seeing as you are personally invested!)

    Still, I may do some poking around at the library at U-Penn one of these Friday afternoons, to see if I can uncover anything interesting on the original Panini. U-Penn is where most of my ‘real’ research — such as it is — happens these days.