If this were a face-to-face conversation, our sassy Barmaid would be telling me about her Ritu Beri entry and I would follow up with…
It’s funny that you should mention Beri’s rubbish ideas on Indian design, Barmaid, particularly the bit about how it is limited. Just the other day I was partaking in some retail therapy and I happened upon my most bank-breaking pleasure, a little Queen West shoppe called ‘Delphic‘. Of course I had to go in for a teensy look, maybe try on a little of this and that, drool over some sneaks.
I took a tentative step through the door and what did I see? A lone mannequin wearing a twisted ‘Little Black Dress’, the shape of which looked eerily familiar. I mean really familiar. My eyes then darted right and on the rack there was a coat. A grey coat. With painful-looking needlework that I have only before seen in the kurtas I used to wear (back when I lived in a warmer climate). But the pattern did not resemble anything I had ever seen before, here or in that yonder homeland. Delicately I moved the lapels aside to reveal a name: Rashmi Varma. Ahhh, it made me feel good.
The nice shop lady informed me that Varma spends her time between Toronto and Delhi, where most of her pieces are made. I asked to see all the RV items they had, held up top after top to see if I could find even a hint of that proverbial ‘mango’. And you know what? Nothing. Just beautiful, expressive pieces like the Bihari dress, or the Kantha trench, or (my personal fav) the Dogri jersey pants. Hammertime.
Yes I do have faith in Indian fashion, perhaps not in Beri’s world of regurgitated design but efforts made in cloth have never been limited to haughty architects who like to point fingers while their own blinders are fastened in place. Hmph!
eek, the first jesus looks like Willie Nelson!
Not true unless you are planning on getting on while you are pregnant. Healed old tatoos are just ink on your skin, they don’t interfere with anything below the epidermis. The epidural is going into your spine. 🙂
Hey, what’s wrong with lower-back tattoos on suitably saucy ladies ? I think they look really foxy.
Probably not a good thing to do considering these things are permanent and not easy (or pleasant) to remove, of course, but I guess the people concerned aren’t really thinking long-term about these actions anyway. And I had no idea they had such a bad rep over there in the US.
But they still look quite naughty 😉
Sweet. You’re right, I should’ve looked it up before yapping. I was watching a blurb about a woman whose anestheologist told her that she would have to have a chunk of her tattoo removed if she wanted an epidural and she opted for a ‘natural’ birth. Poor lady. Last time I believe the tube.
Trampstamp here I come! Ha.
My whole theory about trampstamps and tats and I have a few is that they should be out of the visibility of any potential future mother in laws. It’s all fair otherwise. Besides visible tats on women are sort of tacky. Imagine wearing a ball gown and having a big ass tattoo on your arm 🙂
This might be a bit off-topic, but it’s something I think about periodically and it kinda fits under this whole east/west fashion discussion. I wanted to throw it out there and see what people’s reactions are, and I didn’t know where else to post it.
I’m white, and my partner is South Asian. I’ve worn saris to a couple of weddings for his friends and family. After a while, it got kinda old borrowing from his aunt, so I bought a couple of my own. I almost wore one to a non-South Asian wedding once, but backed out at the last minute (didn’t want to outshine the bride :). I just find myself wondering about the line between enjoying and sharing my partner’s culture, and the exoticization of it. I mean, sometimes you see white folks wearing bindis and crinkle skirts and your first thought is “poser,” but then just the other day I saw a woman in a salwar kameez looking comfy and totally at home, and I thought “oh, she must have a personal connection – family, time spent in Asia, etc”. I tell myself I have more wiggle room b/c of my partner; I have a more personal connection to and reason for participating in this culture and its fashion. But does that extend to a situation where, say, I attend an event by myself? I think if people saw me in a sari without my partner beside me, they’d think “poser” too. (And maybe that doesn’t matter.)
I try and think about why I think wearing a sari is awesome. My best friend in 1st grade was Indian and I remember seeing her mother wearing a different brightly-colored sari every day and thinking how beautiful she was, and how much I’d love to try one on. I think about being willing and eager to embrace parts of my partner’s culture as he embraces parts of mine, as we create a life together. But then I also think, hang on, do you just think they’re beautiful as part of an internalized white-folks reaction to the ‘exotic’? Prolly that too. Very complicated. We perform ourselves partly through fashion – I guess my question is – Is a white person’s appropriation of non-white fashion always exploitative? I’ve definitely gotten positive responses from people while wearing a sari – some people seem happy to see a white girl in a sari, happy that the fashion flow can go both ways (“reverse colonization,” as a coworker of my sister’s called her slow taking over of their shared desk). At the same time, I think some people’s immediate response, especially in everyday life, is to feel possessive of their culture and resentful if someone unworthy (like a white person, given all the history and power dynamics, etc inherent in white people’s ‘borrowing’ from the cultures they colonized and marginalized) takes it upon themselves to adopt markers of that culture.
Whew. I guess I’ll just throw all that out there and hope I don’t get taken down for being off-topic. 🙂 Thanks for any responses.
So I just talked about my post with my partner, and he said that he thinks in a setting like his cousin’s wedding, where I’m the minority, my wearing a sari is good b/c it’s me participating in the culture around me. BUT in a mostly-white setting, it’d be me trying to be all ‘different’ and ‘exotic’ so then it gets sticky. The context changes the meaning. And he says the same goes for him too – he was raised in the U.S., so when does he decide to wear a tux versus a kurta? It’s not like he always dresses in Indian attire when he dresses up. Interesting.
Lizzie, the fact that you are even open to discussing this issue and think about it on a philosophical level gives you enough right to wear whatever you want. You aren’t a poser if it’s something you love and enjoy being part of. And to a degree even if it’s exoticized there isn’t anything wrong with it. I lived off and on in Hong Kong for 3 years and own a couple of traditional chinese dresses that I happily wear from time to time. I’d think it was silly if someone were to call me a poser but in the grand scheme of things, at the end of the day, does it really matter?
We are a sum of so many complex experiences and cultures in this country. I think I’m lucky living in NYC to come across people from so many parts of the world where as I may not have had that opportunity somewhere else. Some of it will naturally rub off. One day we’ll all be a big pool of just humans…no religion no race :-). Nothing wrong with that. Wear away and do as you please. If someone thinks you are a poser without understanding you, it’s their loss.
to cosign JOAT’s response; there isn’t a rulebook that comes with a sari. If you are comfortable wearing one in the situation of your choice, then it’s all good. If, for example, you didn’t want to wear one to a non-indian event because you didn’t want to outshine the bride, then I say trust your gut. The fact that you have such concern for what is or isn’t disrespectful to your partner’s culture is remarkable, and I think consideration is all anyone asks for, in any culture.
If someone judges you by your attire before learning who you are or what your story is, then they’re just being judgemental– and then why even care what they think? 🙂
Like to remarked to Anna and Cicatrix at the last meetup, I don’t find TrampStamps that hot. I think very few men find them hot. Without getting any more graphic, we want to see lovely brown SKIN there… not some sickly green thing there. Tattoos are hot, no doubt about that — but when they are in the form of a small thingie on the thigh, or a shoulder blade. Not all over the upper gluteal area/waist.
Janeofalltrades and DesiDancer – thanks for the positive reinforcement. It’s funny, JOAT – when talking about this, my partner also said “in 100 years we’ll all be one color anyway.” 🙂 When participating in non-white cultures, I try and focus on examining my own feelings and motives, rather than on how other people might be judging me (which can be hard, but hey – lots o’ stuff is harder).
In any case, the kindness of your responses is much appreciated. Thanks
DesiDancer….. “Use Dipper At Night??” ….that is priceless!
Lizzie, congrats to you for having the cojones to wear a sari, AND at a desi boyfriend’s family function. Wow!
I say that for two reasons: First, my ex’s family and community were sufficiently aghast and disturbed by and opposed to the notion of us being together, I can just imagine how much worse the reax would have been had I had the temerity to wrap myself up in a sari at the weddings we attended back in India. I can hear all the aunties hitting the wedding hall floor in a group faint as I type!
And second, I wear a lot of long and short kurtas during the summer and, given that there’s a large desi community near where I live, I feel somehwat queasy when passing folks at the shops or public transport, half wondering if some folks are thinking “Oh God! Vite Voman in Indian clothing, chi chi chi!” But hey, they’re pretty and comfortable in the hot weather (if only they didn’t have to be hand-laundered), so I soldier on.