Ah, mysterious India, ever in flux yet steadfastly the same! While greenbacks, terabytes and bushy-tailed MBAs woosh back and forth between Bangalore and Wall Street, the eructations of Tom Friedman speeding them across the Flat World like some kind of ill pneumatics, the doings of the superstitious masses still supply orientalists correspondents with fare for cutesiness and condescension. As Henry Chu sat barricaded at the crib contemplating his balls, Jonathan Allen of the New York Times was bravely setting off into Delhi’s diesel dawn to document the queer customs of the Hindoo:
the creators of the new Swaminarayan Akshardham temple complex that towers over east Delhi thought to include several features not commonly found in Hindu architecture, including an indoor boat ride, a large-format movie screen, a musical fountain and a hall of animatronic characters that may well remind us that, really, it’s a small world after all. There are even pink (sandstone) elephants on parade.
After noting that the temple is inspired by Disneyland (“We visited five or six times. As tourists, I mean,” the temple’s PR officer clarifies), Allen goes on to, let’s see, analogize Indian temple-goers to people waiting for the toilet, and Indians in general to dogs, amongst whom he is like an unflappable elephant…
Wait, you think I’m making this up?
Here are the toilets:
The appeal of this might at first be lost on visitors to India, who are usually coming to see the country’s abundance of genuinely ancient buildings [say wha…? – ed.]; Indians, who are surrounded by them, will generally grab any opportunity to escape from all that decrepitude for the afternoon, ideally to a place with musical fountains. The crowds here aren’t pilgrims; they’re day trippers. (…)
And so, although Western tourists are welcome, they can expect to receive the occasional look of benign giggly bemusement, the same kind a gentleman receives upon joining the line for the ladies’ toilets. (…)
The dogs:
Sometimes the allegorical power of elephants is overestimated, as in the tableau which, according to the caption, claims that: “One problem elephants never face is the generation gap.”
The one that most strikes me is the creature shown “equipoised and nonchalant amidst barking dogs”; for the tourist sometimes overwhelmed by the colorful chaos of India, this could well be the most relevant elephant.(…)
Portrait of the author as a patient pachyderm:
People cut in line and tread on my toes, which strike me as things Bhagwan Swaminarayan would not do. It seems the combined efforts of the Akshardham’s robots, elephants and talking boats in relaying BAPS’s essential message of humble compassion may still not have been enough.
As I leave the temple, a horde of rickshaw drivers surrounds me, loudly and physically hustling for my business. I again try to adopt the posture of the unflappable elephant.
But unlike Henry and the hijras, this elephant has balls. Jonathan gets all New York on motherfuckers:
Then it occurs to me that that elephant must get ripped off all the time, and I argue furiously with the drivers until one of them relents and agrees to take me back to central Delhi on the meter.
Balls and all!
Wow. I still do, actually. This one’s going to take some time processing.
Wait, you’re actually offended by this? As an Indian, as a delhite, I was giggling the entire time because he’s right on the money. The place is very much a themepark and people go to it because it’s big and flashy. they want to see what the tamasha is all about – so yes, very much day-trippers.
He does not liken indian temple go-ers to those in line for a toilet, he says being a foreigner at Akhsardham would be the equivalent of lining up in the wrong bathroom line- people would look at you funny, as in this is not on the tourist map. As for the dogs thing – “kutte bhaukat jaat, haathi chalat jaat” was an expression used by my grandmother when my sister would pick on me- she did not mean to say I was fat like an elephant, nor was she calling my sister a dog. So what is so offensive about likening the chaos of Delhi to noisy barking dogs?
He’s probably wrong that Indians surrounded by older temples want to escape the “decrepitude for the afternoon”, but meh not really offensive in its inaccuracy, definitely not orientalist.
The ghost of Said won’t heed our calls if we cry wolf incessantly.
But if one of the holy grails of the self-loathing tourist is shaking loose from his fanny-packing peers and finding a delightful restaurant patronized entirely by locals, then this, paradoxically, is the tourist attraction equivalent.
What’s wrong with dogs. They tend to be more boisterous than elephants. Have you been to India? India is insane and chaotic. Is it just like New York but different. No. Are hijiras just like us? No.
The writer does a fine job contrasting this playground to a place like Shirdi, for the earnest pilgrim.
Your rules of engagement would just result in dishonest writing.
Wow. This is the Hindu equivalent of one of those Christian theme parks. Good stuff. The temple looks splendid.
Ah, mysterious India, ever in flux yet steadfastly the same! While greenbacks, terabytes and bushy-tailed MBAs woosh back and forth between Bangalore and Wall Street, the eructations of Tom Friedman speeding them across the Flat World like some kind of ill pneumatics, the doings of the superstitious masses still supply orientalists correspondents with fare for cutesiness and condescension.
Thats some spiffy writing there, mon. You are the only guy I know who can sucessfully use “eructations” and “motherfuckers” in the same piece. You even threw out “insalubrious” once.
BTW Bush was supposed to visit this temple on his India trip, but the plan got nixed at the last moment.
thanks, eddie. wu-tang is for the children.
little brown animatronic puppets and a boat ride? this is WAY better than Heritage USA especially if the animatronic brown kids sing “Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram”
Hi
I got to say…having been to many many temples with my kids who were born and raised in good old Amreeka, this one temple created enough interest in them to warrant this comment. “{ mommy, this is even more beautiful than the Taj mahal”
Well the musical fountains set to chanting and Indian classical music is a truly spectacular show and anyone who says its not awe inspiring, has some bone to pcik. At any objective level, the workmanship will leave one astounded, as will the magnitude of the project. That indians can get something like this together was a novelty to me, and a good novelty at that.
make no mistake..the ones who criticize this are those who will complain about our older architecture peices rotting away….(as most old temples are) or those who are a little concerned that a primitive and “pagan” religion can garner such workmanhip…
never hear anyone complain about the opulence of churches or mosques….
wonder why is that though?
Tourist (happy to see some amazing marble carving)
very well-written…interesting subject matter, too….
hopefully this will perk up East Delhi.
Yet another ‘anti-Da Vinci Code’ article. Religious tolerance just isnt a western thing.
I agree with Brown Magic, I found the article to be gently funny and very perceptive! For a lot of middle class Indians, temples such as the Akshardham or the ISKCON temple in Bangalore are more like a family friendly day-trip to a recreation park, rather than a spiritual outing (and I bet our ancient temples served the same purpose for our ancestors too). So as Brown Magic says, I found Jonathan Allen’s perception of the temple’s environment to be right on the money!! and I dont think he was attempting to exoticify the place or the people…
first henry and now johnathon? there’s so much patronising orientalism on display here i think i might need to go into a still white room where i can escape from it all.
why are these articles so alluring and yet so sickly, just like trashy tabloid magazines. the day i read something about india without the words ‘exotic’, ‘chaotic’, ‘colourful’, and now ‘diaspora’ is one i look forward to.
Actually, I found this article quite reasonable and not “orientalist” (substitute your favorite jargon word here) or whatever. There is a disney-like element to some of the stuff BAPS does. Nothing the slightest bit wrong with that: a short tour of vatican city or even salt lake city would provide many more over the top examples. I noticed, for example, that the writer refers to “compassion” and other good basic values that BAPS propagates.
They made a temple into a freaking themepark.
What happened to the simple days, where one could enjoy the temple in relative peace and harmony?
The movie screen is for a short film meant to meant to spread awareness not screen the latest b’wood offerings. I don’t see why not, since it is clearly useful for children and tourists, if not insightful for Hindus themselves.
The hullah is pretty silly.
Actually what really surprises me is that the Swaminarayan sect should choose to build such a huge temple complex in Delhi, where it doesn’t have much of a following. In fact growing up in Delhi, I knew virtually nothing about the Swaminarayan sect till recently and my impression is that they are mostly concentrated in Gujarat.
So in that sense, it seems to me that the locals visit the Swaminarayan temple for pretty much the same reasons that they visit the Baha’i temple. The Baha’i temple in Delhi is probably the most visited landmark in the city, and only the tiniest fraction of visitors are practicing Baha’is. Most visit the place because it is beautiful, an urban oasis of calm.
And it seems that in the case of the Akshardham temple, the fountains are the big attraction. If Allen wanted to see how Indians engage with a recently constructed temple complex as devotees, he should have visited the Chhattarpur temple complex in Delhi which does attract more actual devotees than day trippers.
Priceless name for this piece, Siddharta. I’m getting some good laughing cardio here.
I quite disagree, Siddhartha. It sounds like it really is that kitschy. Did you see the photo of the animatronics?
hey this temple is the best and u can not judge it by how the people are or the dogs are. the person who really built this temple built to spread the word of swaminarayan and what you wrote here is very wrong. no it is not a theme park. how can u say such things about a temple. this is very wrong and you should take this article off so no one else gets offended.