Some of you may consider it good news that the top three finalists in the the Geography Bee, hosted by the great Alex Trebek himself, were Indian American. I do not. Some of you may also think fondly on the fact that the last four contestants in last year’s Spelling Bee were also Indian American. I do not.
“Well Abhi,” you say. “Aren’t you at least happy that the top Intel Science Award ($50,000) went to an Indian American?”
No.
I am afraid. I am afraid that most Americans aren’t able to tell us apart anymore. We aren’t all “the same.” I come from a vastly different culture and tradition than those people. I am nothing like them and I am tired of all the “so-called intellectuals” that are all “bhai-bhai” and want to give us all a common label. They don’t care about us so why should we be friendly to them? Ever since Indian-American kids started winning these types of competitions I get strange looks on the subway when I am reading a book. I can hear their whispers and their suspicions. “I know what he is up to,” they think. “All those people are the same. They just sit and study vocabulary lists and almanacs. They just come to ‘our country’ to win our competitions.” Nobody sits next to me sometimes, even during rush hour, all because they think we are all the same. I’m sick of it. I can’t even take pictures at tourist attractions anymore. Park security always comes up to me and asks me if I am forming a database of important geographic sites. Last time a guard mentioned to me that his son had “lost to one of you guys in a preliminary round.”
The solution is clear to me but will take some time to implement. Through forums like this we need to do a better job of educating the public. They need to know that some of us can’t spell and instead rely on readers or co-bloggers to point out spelling errors in their blog posts. They need to know that some of us don’t know which river the Port of Rotterdam lies on. Most importantly they need to know that they having nothing to fear from the vast majority of us.
I don’t know if you guys are like me but every time I read about another “incident” in the news I think, “Great. Now they will think that we are all capable of this kind of thing.” Here was the latest:
A woman teacher in Bhubaneswar has been arrested for inflicting three children with burn injuries on finding mistakes in their homework, police said on Sunday…
On Friday evening, Kabita allegedly lost her temper after she found mistakes in the home work of the kids. She punished them with a hot iron, a police official said. [Link]
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p>Moderates in the community need to come forward and speak out against these types of heinous acts. We can no longer afford to remain quiet while a radical minority dictates our image. We should denounce this sort of thing immediately and work to educate the community by pointing out that a lot of us are only average in intelligence and will work to demand the same from our children.
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p>I just wanted to get a dialog started on all of this before next week. In fact, usually I am a little afraid to even leave the house during this period which I often refer to as “hell week.”
Thank you all for your attention. I look forward to a productive dialog.
Your warning is unnecessary, babe, I write my truth as is.
I thought I had the good fortune of living 1500 miles from my Mom and wouldn’t be subjected to the same stuff that DJ Drrrty Poonjabi was… but no… of course not… there’s no easy escaping of these things. My mom happened to have watched this clip from the same Dateline special… it was of a Sikh guy (fully turbaned and bearded etc, and might I add, fully clothed) walking into the house and talking about how he couldn’t get arrested because he was an ‘academic’ and knew a thing or two about the law. Wrong. Anyway, my Mom’s response was to call me up and me remind that I better not be upto anything because, you never know, there are video cameras everywhere. and to ask me if I had a thing for little kids. Christ!
Neha:
That’s what you think. Telling yourself this so as to comfort yourself….
Anyway, look: we need to be unified. We can’t have inner divisions within our nationalist Guju movement like the factions within the PLO. This undermines our effectiveness. We are all fighting for our collective rights, right?
CAD: Personal choices for mental sanity are extremely important. Incidentally, Are you a really a cad as well as being a guju grrl?
This sounds like a cry for help. I would suggest disconnecting your wireless internet or whatever you use or at least using your hosts file (if you’re on a pc) to block SM for a period of time. Then do your work and come back afterwards 🙂
^^ thats very nice of you (no irony)
they should have some kind of anti blog crack campaign b/c this ish gets cirious
Saurav:
A cad? What do you mean? I am a CAD, as in Cheap Ass Desi, and yes, I really am a Guju girl. Why? Do you want to fight? Hm?!
It is a cry for help; actually, a low, wailing, groaning type of cry for help.
I don’t know what you’re talking about, all this baqwaas about my “hosts file” and blocking SM. I am computer handicapped, don’t have the slightest idea of what a “host file” is and how one can “block SM”. All I know is how to dial up to the Internet, check and write e-mails, write papers on Word, and surf the Internet. A wireless? A little square pops up on the bottom of the right hand corner of the screen and faithfully brings to my attention, that “Wireless connection unavailable”.
I don’t know how to make it available.
Gujju Dude and CAD
I think its time that we established a worldwide database of various scams and activities that would be of benefit for the gujju population to exploit. I for one feel the need to reclaim the gujjuness that we partially lost when my family decided to move to the “other side” half a century ago.
This is very adorable. Equally adorable is that I don’t know what baqwaas translates as (though I understand from the context).
Presumably, you know whether you have a pc or a mac (i hope 🙂 So if you have a pc, one thing you can do is follow the instructions here to block your own access to a website and then change it back when you feel you’ve had enough of a time out. Basically, you would replace 127.0.0.1 pagead2.googlesyndication.com in this example with 127.0.0.1 http://www.sepiamutiny.com or whatever other website you want to block (e.g. 127.0.0.1 ads.doubleclick.net). When you try to go to the site you blocked, it will say you can’t find the page or the server or whatever.
It’s called the hosts file. There’s probably an easier way to do it (some application like a pop-up blocker or a spyware application that will do it for you) but this is the only way I know how to do it.
Aside from therapy for Internet addiction 🙂
Saurav:
I don’t know what the accurate translation would be, but “baqwaas“, roughly translated, is “empty talk”, or, put more crudely, “crap”. But I didn’ mean it as you talking empty or crap, but that to me it sounds like empty talk because I didn’t have any clue as to what my “host file” is and how I can block SM.
I have a PC laptop. Toshiba, to be exact. In contrast to my former 8 yr. old Toshiba, this one’s got a CD player AND DVD player. It’s numbers are: 80K, 512K and 56K. Lots of useless icons on my desktop, though.
What?
While it is very sweet of you to have gone through the trouble of writing these instructions and I thank you for that, just looking at these instructions is making me panic. Also, too complicated, yaar. Anyway, isn’t it counterproductive or self-defeating if I really do block SM seeing that you’ve also given me instructions on how to UNDO the block? Anytime I’m craving SM, I can simply undo the block, isn’t that so? And I have no self control. I won’t say to myself, “Cheap Ass, just wait until you’re done with studying and taking your exam. Then you can undo the block”. I’ll just undo the block probably minutes after I’ve just activated the block.
I don’t want to give the impression that I’m computeristically challenged or anything; it’s just that I’m old school. I like taking notes by hand; I don’t like reading books online; if I see articles on the Web that I like, I print them out so I can hold them in my hand and read them; and I don’t like computer exams (like the GRE’s and LSAT’s). I do, however, like writing e-mails and writing comments. Too much, sometimes.
See? Not all Desis are super nerd computer geeks. We are not all the same.
I’m mighty proud of my Toshiba Satellite laptop. It looks like it’s got some kick ass software and accessories. I’m particulary psyched about the DVD/CD combo, except that I haven’t had the pleasure of utilizing the DVD player. I’d rent Bollywood DVD’s so as to keep up with the latest developments coming out of Bollywood, except that the only place where I can rent DVD’s is from this Guju dude around the block who has a restaurant/DVD rental-cum set up. He charges a one-time THIRTY DOLLAR deposit, plus $3 per DVD rental. Yeah right, like I’m about to give him $30. On top of that, when I ordered saag paneer, I asked him if he could please give me a couple of extra paneer cubes, thinking that he would kindly and willingly do so, from one Guju to another. After all, we always converse in Gujarati when I’m there. Instead, you know what he said? “I’ll have to charge you for the extra cubes of paneer. Do you know how much a kilo of paneer costs these days?”
Then he had the nerve to tell me that “Desis are cheap as hell, especially Gujus”. What a joker. Always trying to make an extra buck, them Gujus.
I for one feel kinda proud that kids from the “third world” can beat American kids at academic competitions. I think if anything it helps teach young Americans that their Asian peers and thus by extension all other non-Americans are worthy of respect. Now that would be a great start for some non-Bushian world views in America !
Of course. It’s just one more oppportunity to ask yourself if that’s what you really want to do at that given moment. 😉
Saurav, usually when a person repeatedly tries to intervene between a pusher and his customer(s) that person finds themselves sleeping with the fishes. I recommend the movie New Jack City as an example. Don’t f*ck with Nino Brown.
Neha: I was born and raised in Ahmedabad and had my Bachelor’s degree in Engineering from Gujarat Universiy. Be nice to Ahmedabadis or else !! – you don’t want me to get started on this topic… Peace !!
A third of my time spent India and one half of my mum’s family are also Ahmedabadi so I have nothing by love for Ahmedabad, Yo Dad uncle 🙂 The accent fun is all in jest, to illustrate that sweetness in the Gujarati language pretty much ends at Porbandar’s gates. Our ‘sh’ turns into ‘h’ before it even reaches ‘s’.
I kind of like the Ahmedabad topic. In my childhood I never appreciated anything other than Porbandar. But as gang violence and floods turned our town into a shell our parents and any of their NRI siblings or cousins began to look for other places to retire. Now they are all going to flock to Ahmedabad so it could one day be my new home away from home in Gujarat. I suppose I had better start preparing for it by sweetnening my Gujarati lest I get made fun of 🙂
That’s “nothing BUT love” not “nothing by love” in the previous comment.
Neha: Now I see where you are coming from. Per a legend even before Baadshah Ahmad some 400 years ago established this city, he was amazed when he saw rabbits chasing the dogs. Prior to that the city/state was known as “Karnavati”, and had a very rich history. One “Vaaniya” from Porbandar, who later became world famous as “Mahatma Gandhi” recognized the power of people raised on the river ‘Sabarmati”, so much so that he established an “Ashram” there, and started his now infamous “Dandi Kuch” from there. Abhi’s grandparents home on Sabarmati is not too far from this ashram on the river bank. As for Ahmedabadi’s accent, I believe they (Naagar)are the only one in Gujarat State taunted to speak ‘pure’ Gujarati. Off course surti, Kathiawadi (such as you) and patel gujarati is with very different accent. When you get chance get a song by Late poet Avinash Vyas describing all the traits of “Ahmedabadi”. By the way, not that it matters but, I arranged the first program of late ‘Avinash Vyas” in Chicago beack in 1976! I still write Gujarati “Ghazals”. So, yes we are not same, yet together with variety of language, and accents we make one heck of a specimen!! Namaste!!
We’re stereotyped like all other races. I personally think it’s a good thing that we’re automatically associated as intelligent, good in Math and successful in general. I don’t live up to the stereotype, but is there any use in trying to dispel the myth? Have African-Americans come any closer to tearing down racial stereotypes of their race? Has any other race for that matter?
I know I’m going to get a lot of flak for this but re #132, 133 etc, this sort of thing is what makes desis despised (and rightly) by so many. I’m embarassed and ashamed on behalf of a country and people I love and am proud of (des/desis) when I see fellow desis behaving like this. Have some (real) pride, folks! Being a cheap ass is one thing but deliberately cheating/manipulating/taking advantage of the system and stores is another.
And #136 🙂 🙂 🙂 LOVED that story! I happened to see that TV show too and haven’t yet recovered from the shock/glee of it!
Ms Fink Nottle
I totally agree. Behaviour like this makes it difficult for all rest of us to be able to go to stores etc and exchange things in a legit way.
Ms Fink Nottle: At the risk of sounding like a high roller, the truth is that I did not in fact return a used tent to Walmart. I repeat, I did not return a used tent to Walmart. I was only trying to out-cheap the cheapasses 🙂
Neha
🙂 Thanks for the clarification…I did in fact wonder whether some of the comments were more ‘gettin into the spirit’ of it all and makin’ up wild stories to add to the fun of it.
oh neha, i was so proud of you till you confessed.
btw, what did you do with the used tent? sold it on ebay making a profit? 🙂
Oops.
I completely disagree with the above statements. Could any of you clearly define the line between “positive” stereotype vs. “negative” stereotypes? You seem to think that “positive” stereotypes will somehow override the “negative”ones. Wrong. This concept of positive vs. negative is binary, and it’s going to stay that way if people insist on talking about “stereotypes”. Every positive stereotypes entails a negative one. There have been multiple manifestations of how “positive stereotypes” take on ugly undertones, and is susceptible to backlash as well. “Positive” and “negative” sterotypes are two sides of the same coin. In addition, for those who say “I should be proud for being stereotyped as a genius because I’m of Indian origin”, or “we need to take pride in our race”, this view is very superficial. It only underlines the seperation between those Desis who are not so “model minority”- ie taxi drivers, those working at 7/11, etc– and the wealthy, educated, upper middle class elite Desis. You don’t fulfill that stereotype by virtue of being Indian; you fulfill that stereotype because you share much in common with the upper middle class white elites that run this country. And not all Desis are of this socio-economic stratum.
Furthermore, I think it is disingenuous to laud stereotypes that describe the Indian American community, or any other community, for that matter. Because what are you really saying? That there is another minority who is not so “model” at all. Every so-called “positive” stereotype is created at the expense of another group.
Neha:
What did I tell you, hm, Miss “Your warning is unnecessary, babe, I write my truth as is”? I knew it. That’ why I warned you beforehand.
Next time I give you a bit of advice, just bow your head humbly and say, “Yes, Cheap Ass Desi Masterji. You know best”. You’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.
Fink Nottle:
Arre, what’s this? Are you saying “I hate it when my fellow Desis live up to their stereotypes of being cheap and manipulating the system” and no wonder why we are “rightly despised”?!
Don’t be stereotyping, Finkie. Or I will take that Nottle from you and put it where it hurts. And anyway, we are not all the same.
Ustad Yo Dad ji:
Really? I love ghazals, and I’ve been looking for newer Ghazal CD’s in Gujarati. I have one, bhery bhery juno, as in you can hear the needle scratching the LP. Can you give me some names? It is difficult in Amreeka to find Guju music that is not a) navraati b)raas garba c) bhajans d)lagan songs; and finally, e) Patel Rap.
Also, I have another question for you: Currently, I am writing a Ph.D. on comparative socio-cultural practices in the world. Specifically, I am looking at the various bathing and hygeine habits of those in South Asia, the Arab World, Southern Europe, and Africa and tying it in with the socio-economic aspects that found, shape, influence and are implicated in these habits. So: judging from your experiences, do people in Gujurat use a washcloth?
Thanks.
–Cheap Ass Desi Ph.D Candidate in the Dept. of BS Studies
CAD: Looks like your exam went well..you’re back.. bombarding the thread.
btw, was it your prelims..or your quals ?
Evil Abhi:
You tell him, Abhi. Don’t let any otha mothafu@*a dent your style.
ooooh…. I quite like it when a Bad Boy Desi lays down the law. Groowwl….
Speaking of Desi goondas, why hasn’t Bad Boy Bobby Jindal replied to my invitation yet?
Hey, Evil Abhi, want to start a Desi gang with me? Not like the “Bombay Posse” and “Pakistani Psychadelics” who are sissy, pathetic, wannabe losers. I’m talking about a real gang.
Let’s meet up tomorrow to discuss this further. I’ll see you tomorrow at 3:30 on the corner of Crenshaw and Slauson. Bring a ’40, a can of spraypaint, and wear a brown beret.
Vestside————————–
Wait…back? She never left. Exam or not, she’s been bombing away. 😉
not-fob:
Yo, I left. I left for three days. That’s a lot.
Didn’t you notice how for three days I didn’t post anything?
Oi! What do you take me for, some good Indian girl?
…and it was no trouble.
Re: Gujarati tunes. I too would like to know where to find some, preferably in mp3 form. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Gujarati ghazal before, would be neat.
Really? It didn’t seem that way at ALL. 😉
Neha:
There are two aspects to Gujarati ghajals that you should know: one, the ghazals sound chho chho sveet because you’re hearing it in your mother tongue. Two, musically, they don’t sound any different from ghajals in Hindu/Urdu. But the lyrics are different from the Hindu/Urdu ghajals, at least the ghajals that I have: holding hands and chasings patangs.
Isn’t that nice? Holding hands and chasing kites?
ANNA:
It seems like that to you because you were busy prancing and twittering around with the other East Coast Mutineers at Leela’s Lounge last weekend, having a good time, probably the time of your life, with a Martini in your hand and green olives bobbing amongst the ice, laughing and joking…..(eyes narrowing, blood beginning to boil furiously at the thought of it….)
Where have my homies Madurai Vivekan and someone else gone? I miss them. They were always there to back up my Cheap Desi Ass. And I also like their comments.
CAD:
I’d take you up one the offer but I’ve been reading Andrea Dworkin and if we had sex it may constitute rape. But then again, as Andrea said: “If the Holocaust can be denied even today how can a woman who has been raped be believed?”—since you’re Noam Chomsky fan you probably don’t beilieve in the Holocaust so you probably don’t believe in rape.
I’ll give you a call. –BJ