Get you love drunk off my hump

In the basement of our North Dakota headquarters we employ a small but elite team or researchers designated the “SMU.” Their sole job is to predict “the next big thing,” and they are rarely wrong. You see, our marketing department has indicated that based on focus group feedback, readers that visit our site will flock to other blogs the minute we fall behind on what’s happening in the world around us. They will leave us the minute we aren’t ahead of the curve on “what’s cool.” Therefore, whenever the SMU staff starts “rattling their cages,” they know they will have my full attention. I predict that the next big thing (and you are hearing it on our blog first) is…Camel Milk:

While slightly saltier than cow’s milk, camel milk is highly nutritious. Designed after all for animals that live in some of the roughest environments, it is three times as rich in Vitamin C as cow’s milk.

In Russia, Kazakhstan and India doctors often prescribe it to convalescing patients. Aside from Vitamin C, it is known to be rich in iron, unsaturated fatty acids and B vitamins.

Tapping the market for camel milk, however, involves resolving a series of humps in production, manufacturing and marketing. One problem lies in the milk itself, which has so far not proved to be compatible with the UHT (Ultra High Temperature) treatment needed to make it long lasting.

But the main challenge stems from the fact that the producers involved are, overwhelmingly, nomads.

Another problem, according to the FAO, is the nature of the animal itself. Camels can reputedly be pretty stubborn. And unlike cows, which store all their milk in their udders, camels keep theirs further up their bodies. [Link]

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p>Now I know that some of you might not like milk of any kind. Some people just don’t. My mom for example never drinks milk. But what about chocolate? Everybody likes chocolate…

An easier sell would appear to be the low-fat, camel milk chocolate, which A Vienna-based chocolatier, Johann Georg Hochleitner intends to launch a low-fat, camel milk chocolate this autumn. With funding from the Abu Dhabi royal family, his company plans to make the chocolate in Austria from powdered camel milk produced at Al Ain in the United Arab Emirates, then ship 50 tons back to the Gulf each month. [Link]

India would be smart to make this a major export. They have the raw talent for it:

There are three major breeds of Camel in India viz. Bikaneri, Jaisalmeri and Kutchi.

The Bikaneri has excellent draft capabilities and is therefore becoming the breed of choice of the farmers of the Thar desert (NW Rajasthan).

The Jaisalmeri camel has good race potential and therefore was important breed before advent of modern camel cart. They were preferred in cavalries in the past life Ganga Risala which took part in World War I and II. Presently the Camel Corps constitutes an important wing of the Border Security Force of Indian para-military service.

Kutchi breed (Kutch region of Gujarat) has good milk potential. [Link]

Anyways, I just wanted to put this out there as my hot tip of the week. Tell your friends. We are still cool.

17 thoughts on “Get you love drunk off my hump

  1. Tell your friends. We are still cool.

    Butch: So we cool? Marsellus: Yeah, we cool. Two things. Don’t tell nobody about this. This shit is between me, you, and Mr. Soon-To-Be-Living-The-Rest-of-His-Short-Ass-Life-In-Agonizing-Pain Rapist here. It ain’t nobody else’s business. Two: you leave town tonight, right now. And when you’re gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You lost all your L.A. privileges. Deal? Butch: Deal. Marsellus: Get your ass out of here.

    Abhi = Butch

  2. Rumor has it that the talented SMU, given vast quantities of bananas and set loose upon Underwood typewriters, produced the script of Basic Instinct 2.

  3. buy milk from nomad for pennies, add some flavor, package it …then sell to nomad for $$$

  4. Manish,

    Rumor has it that the talented SMU, given vast quantities of bananas and set loose upon Underwood typewriters, produced the script of Basic Instinct 2.

    I’ve also heard that you’ve outsourced bhang-fuelled teams of SMU members to the Star Plus channel, and Ms Ekta Kapoor has secretly been using them to churn out the stories of all her “Saas-Bahu” serials. In fact, the underground desi grapevine says that several SMU staff have been playing some of the lead roles in these serials, but that nobody has noticed (yet).

  5. Rumor has it that the talented SMU, given vast quantities of bananas and set loose upon Underwood typewriters, produced the script of Basic Instinct 2.

    Why were they fortified with bananas? I am surprised that you didn’t mention the hallucinogenic sleeping pills.

    Disclaimer: I did not watch Basic Instinct 2. Heck..I didn’t even watch 1.

    Question for you all….does camel milk curdle? And has anyone seen a camel being milked?

  6. I’ve never seen a camel being milked, but at the snake park (in Nairobi), I saw them “milking” the venom from a rather scary looking snake.

    I’ve tried camel’s milk though…ehhh not for me. I also don’t like goat’s milk

    I’ve also had milk straight from a cow’s teat

    it’s gross

    but then, I, like Yo mom, hate milk.

  7. I wonder if 2 Lactaids are enough to make this digestible? I accidentally drank unpasteurized milk once…..never again.

  8. Oh goody! Yet another animal species that “factory farms” can enslave.

    What’s next? Camel “veal”? :(

    No. Thank. You.

  9. TO THE MODS: cant leave out Kelis — “my camel milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…”

  10. There are three major breeds of Camel in India viz. Bikaneri, Jaisalmeri and Kutchi

    In laddakh bactrian camel is also found, I dont think its the same spiecies as the regular camel. Beutiful animals. Too bad they are about to be abused.

  11. “The Jaisalmeri camel has good race potential……….”

    Does anybody know if Jaisalmeri camels are the ones used in camel races in the Middle East????The ones with really young boys as jockeys???

  12. I’m still waiting for a BongBreaker comment on this.

    Anything less that a story about participating in illegal camel races through the barren wastes of Sheffield on way to a medical conference, ending in a feast of camel-shakes and camel-foot soup is sure to be a disappointment.

    He’s set the bar high, yo.

  13. Cica, your wish is my command!

    Bugger, I haven’t had camel milk. Although once when I was a bit drunk I had a camel toe. Ew, sorry – that’s low even for me. Well, in both senses of the word, ch-ching! Phew saved the crassness with some dubious wordplay there.

    Cica, I have many a tale to tell, I’ve been in Africa; that continent is hard to beat when it comes to weird foodstuffs. Although void of dodgy food, you’re in luck as I do have an animal story to tell.

    There was a vineyard in the Western Cape of South Africa which we heard had goats in a tower, both of which provided cheese which was served with the wine. This I had to see. When I got there, sure enough there were two goats kidding around up a big two-storey wooden tower, which had a spiral walkway all the way to the top. On each floor there was an entrance to the tower’s interior. So seeing as there didn’t seem to be any barriers, I decided to get involved. I climbed up the walkway and went in the first doorway. The goats, a floor above, suddenly ran down. I wondered why and came out. To my surprise a llama had chased them off. A llama. A f*cking llama. Where the hell did he come from? He didn’t seem happy I was on the tower and spat at me. Unfazed (this wasn’t a first) I tried to get down the walkway but llama started coming up, I panicked and jumped off the tower. The llama gave chase. Now on level ground I realised it was much bigger than I thought. I ran to a wall that looked llama-proof and vaulted it. I landed with a splash in some scrap metal water feature and realised I was in the restaurant. I stepped out, checked the llama hadn’t joined me, and sat down with my friends to have some cheese and wine.

    More anon.