‘Divas and Dusham! Dusham!’

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The folks behind Desilicious (the erotic anthology, not the pride party) are at it again with a call for submissions for Divas and Dusham! Dusham! Mmm, onomatopoetic irregularity.

The anthology will collect both scholarly and literary works inspired by Bollywood, and the deadline is Jan. 31. Methinks a certain per’fessor could submit.

The Politics: How have characters, narratives, or cinematic techniques sustained or subverted hegemonies? How do we identify and engage progressive and reactionary strains in Bombay cinema? What is the relationship between filmmaking and national/transnational politics? Why are Bollywood actresses all fair? Why do the movies tell stories especially of young people? Why are they mostly upper-caste (and Punjabi based)? …

Literary Adaptations: Submissions could include subversive alternate endings to famous Bollywood films… stories in which the central character is modeled after a distinctly filmi character; or screenplays (story-length or excerpts) attempting contemporary Hollywood remakes of Bollywood classics… [Link]

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p>My favorite category:

Explorations of Villainy: Bombay Cinema is the only cinema that grants major film awards for “Best Performance in a Villainous Role…” Bollywood villains who can drop a line as menacing as, “is ko liquid oxygen mem duba do. Liquid ise jine nahin dega aur oxygen ise marne nahin dega” (Drop him in liquid oxygen… the liquid will not let him live and the oxygen will not let him die) make Darth Vader look like a kitty. [Link]

I, for one, welcome our new erotic villainy overlords.

Submit to submissions@masalatrois.com or: Masala Trois Collective, 71 McCaul Street, #113, Toronto, ON M5T 2X1, Canada

17 thoughts on “‘Divas and Dusham! Dusham!’”

  2. “is ko liquid oxygen mem duba do. Liquid ise jine nahin dega aur oxygen ise marne nahin dega”

    As far as I know this is the punch-line to an Ajit joke (i.e. spoofing one of Bollywood’s legendary villains), and not an actual line from a film.

    But for an ACTUAL Ajit-line:

    “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaara shehr mujhe loyan ke naam se jaanta hai…” (“The whole town knows me as lion”)

    and the zaniest Ajit line (from Bachchan’s legendary Zanjeer (1973)):

    Bachchan (Inspector Vijay): “Mein aa gaya hoon, Teja”) (“I am here, Teja”)

    Ajit (“Teja”): “Hel-lo”

  3. Click on the Amazon link to Desilicious and scroll down to the reader reviews for this gem from “cause69USA”

    One of the most boring books that I have ever read…left you limp and bored. Especially, since it comes from the land of Khajurao and the Kama Sutra. India and it’s women are highly sensual and sexual, as I have encountered. And, if you get a “Tantric”…woe betide the hours of fun. The Desi women and men in this book, had sad lives and their repressed sexuality reflects that of a damp squid…not real Indians.

    woe betide this jackass if I meet him in person.

  4. Ajit: Raabert… Raabert: Yes bass… Ajit: Tum Manish to plywood se baandh do. Raabert: Kyun bass… Ajit: Abey bevakoof. Is-se woh ply-able ban jayega. Aur Michael… Michael: Haan bass… Ajit: Tum Manish ke Kaam ko Raid karo. Michael: Kyun bass… Ajit: Abey moorkh. Is-se woh hamara Pliable KaamRaid ban jayega.

    Apologies to the Hindi challenged…

    M. Nam

  5. MoorNam,

    You forgot to add Ajit’s supersmooth comment to “Laila” or “Mona darling” 😉

  6. Ajit: Raabert… Raabert: Yus bass… Ajit: Tum MoorNam ko Manpreet Brar se milao aur bonding karao. Raabert: Kyun bass… Ajit: Abey moorakh, MoorNam ka Sikh bondage fantasy hai.

  7. Ajit(looking for gold): Mona daarling… Mona: Bolo daarling… Ajit: Sona kidhar hai? Mona: Tum chahe jidhar bhee so jao, mujhe Manish ke saath sona hai.

    M. Nam

  8. Their contact info provides an address that’s about 3-4 buildings away from mine. If anyone needs submissions delivered in person and in style then I’m all yours!

    Also, Gurbir Singh Jolly is amazing:

    currently pursuing a PhD in Humanities at York University. One day he hopes to figure out what Leonard Cohen meant when he wrote, “There’s a blaze of light in every word.” He also aspires to make Bollywood adaptations of Stanley Kubric films.

  10. Neha – 2001: Space Odyssey with bhangra!!!

    (the kids’ll be so confused about which drug to take before watching it..pot just won’t be enough!!)

  11. Cicatrix – you just got me thinking of the S.O. 2001 title track: Paa paa paaa PAA PAA, bongbong bongbong…with some crazy dhol and tumbi thrown in. I dunno how I feel about that mix.

    Perhaps a dash of Johnny might make it sound better.

  12. If anyone needs submissions delivered in person and in style then I’m all yours!

    Will you please deliver my submission in gold lamé and a white feather boa while singing ‘Jawaani Janeman‘ a la Parveen Babi?

    Thanks, dear 😉

  15. cicatrix, but don’t you love the indian female’s kama sutra/exotic quality? i for one love the fact that i get pick up lines ALL the time. it’s the best!

    not!

  16. cicatrix, but don’t you love the indian female’s kama sutra/exotic quality?

    Dude, I’m fucktastic, didcha know? One night with me is the equivelant of rafting down the Amazon dodging crocodiles… you barely live to brag about it, you brawny studly orientalist-fantasizer you!

  17. One of the most boring books that I have ever read…left you limp and bored. Especially, since it comes from the land of Khajurao and the Kama Sutra. India and it’s women are highly sensual and sexual, as I have encountered. And, if you get a “Tantric”…woe betide the hours of fun. The Desi women and men in this book, had sad lives and their repressed sexuality reflects that of a damp squid…not real Indians.

    OK, I’d like to know who wrote that, as well as WHO were these highly sensual and sexual women (or men) of India that s/he talks about. And tantrics engagind in “tantric sex” in India? S/he must’ve explored the interior wet-lands of West Bengal but those tantrics are not known for their great love making as far as I have understood from the Bengalis there, even though they do utilize the sex act in their sadhana, as do the sahajiyas of Bengal as well. Otherwise “tantrik” in the rest of India more or less means hocus pocus type person who will give you a mantra to chant when you are facing difficulties in life of some sort – or a particular day to fast on, etc.

    Funny, but I’ve noticed two things;

    a. when Indians are exoticized for their “sexuality”, desis get pissed. b. when Indians are not exoticized but thought of as being bad lovers, desis get pissed.

    Of the two, it is far better to be thought of as actually being good in bed, as opposed to being bad. I mean who in this world would actually take offense at being thought of as a good lover – whether it’s true or not?