peepshow, creepshow…where did you get those eyes?”
Earlier today, I was at the most forlorn CVS in downtown DC, stalking my unbelievably elusive prey (one, just one OTC elixir without Pseudoephedrine, i.e. that which I have a horrific reaction to) when I saw this…eye-catching display.
I love makeup and while my proclivity to purchase two lip glosses a week would lead you to believe that my all-consuming obsession involves THAT, it doesn’t.
I am as fanatically devoted to mascara as Abhi is to that evolution stuff. Eyelashes are so important, that’s why the right curler is key; it’s also why every model, actress, pageant winner, celebutante and drag queen wears fakes…in Jennifer Lopez’s case, MINK fakes.
I like my eyelashes. I wasn’t born with eyebrows, but I lucked out on the lash tip and girlfriend, you best believe I work it. All I wear is L’oreal mascara. Because it is the best. So, like some unstoppable force pulling me towards the mothership, I was brought to this display.
I noticed two things: a brand-spanking-new type of mascara in a curiously-fat container and one flawlessly beautiful woman channeling Maria Callas, in that exact order. She looked slightly familiar but I couldn’t place her immediately. A second later, I remembered seeing Aish’s face by L’oreal’s lipsticks and that’s when it hit me– she IS one of the faces for the brand. Yes, it was TMBWITW. I’ve never seen her in a movie, which is probably why I had to arrive at my conclusion in such a strange, round-about way. One look at the fine-print, which always tell you who’s in the ad confirmed it.My cameraphone was summoned for duty and a few minutes later, my Flickr photostream suddenly had more than Mathangi on it. There are several people who read this website, trolls, lurkers and earnest, sincere commenters alike, who hate on Aishwarya’s looks. I’ve always stood up for TMBWITW, because I don’t think she deserves their ire…at least not for THAT. Today, my visceral reaction to this portrait of her confirms my crusade to deflect the hate. Baby, they’re all photoshopped and airbrushed, but this one, she’s exquisite.
I almost bought this “Volume Shocking” mascara, which has been in development for four years with no less than 12 patents attached, because indeed, I dare to “go there”, but in the end I didn’t take it home with me. It wasn’t the outrageous price which stopped me– I’ve never seen a drugstore mascara that cost $12 before–it was the almirah at home which is stocked with so much product, it should belong to a beauty editor.
I cast a final look back at the erstwhile Miss World. I was so sweating her lashes. Maybe- ? No. That lush, luxurious fringe was created with computer-aided manipulation and retouching, Anna. Your mileage may vary. But damn, Aishwarya…you almost shocked me in to buying your magic, volumizing wand.