Monthly Archives: August 2005

Aalok all Coked

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The hirsute Aalok Mehta from American Chai and Bombay Dreams is in a new Coke ad. Gently tossing his windblown musician locks, he makes the ad look authentic. It says, ‘Yo dawg, I see brown people. This colored sugar water’s down.’

The ad has alt rocker G. Love and a group of demographically correct city people jamming with a guitar on a Philly rooftop (thanks, brimful). They’re singing a mutant version of the ’70s song, ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.’ Actually, that’s backward. The song by the New Seekers started as a ’70s Coke pusher jingle (‘I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke’), and the clean version later became a bona fide hit.

Watch the ad, which runs before a Daily Show clip. Previous post here.

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Separation of Burger and State

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Dave Sidhu at the great blog DNSI has a very illustrative example of what stinks in the ethnic ghettos of Europe in my opinion.  It turns out that Muslims that have the munchies can now satiate their cravings at their own Beurger King Muslim (BKM).  The BBC reports:

Parisian Muslims can now enjoy halal meals in an atmosphere that mimics US fast-food joints after BKM, or Beurger King Muslim, opened its doors.

BKM has set up in the northern Paris suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois, where many locals are first or second generation Muslims from former French colonies.

And half of the suburb’s population of 28,000 are aged under 25, the Agence France Presse news agency reported.

Beur is slang for a second generation North African living in France.

So let me understand this.  It mimics the atmosphere of the U.S. by essentially being a segregated establishment?  I’m torn.  I HATE this idea because all it does is serve to further segregate a community whose children sometimes seem to turn fanatical because they feel segregated against.  At the same time however it helps fight the poverty that leads to and maintains the segregation:

For most of BKM’s employees, the restaurant had “ended a long period of unemployment”, Mr Benhamid said.

One BKM worker called Hakim explained that “young people in these suburbs have trouble finding work and this restaurant will allow the hiring of young people who have no diplomas or are looking for apartments”. 

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A profile of cognitive dissonance

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How people think subway bombers look:

How some of them actually look:

Here’s a Reaganesque guy in a suit:

That’s the Boston Strangler.

You can’t catch the black guy above by profiling those who ‘look Muslim.’ You couldn’t even get accurate racial ID before the bombings. To the confused masses, those who ‘look Muslim’ means those who ‘look Arab,’ which means Sikhs and other South Asians.

It works in reverse too: last month, a light-skinned man with brown hair was gunned down after being misidentified as South Asian.

At the subway station, you need to scan for the bombs, not the people.

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Torture on Diego Garcia? (updated)

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This tidbit about an Amnesty International report yesterday on extraordinary rendition caught my eye:

Others have suggested “high-value” detainees could be held secretly in Diego Garcia, a British-held island in the Indian Ocean that the United States rents as a strategic military base. [Link]

Torture is hardly a newcomer to the Indian Ocean. You only have to go a bit north of the atoll to see it in practice by both intelligence and garden-variety cops on the subcontinent. But has the CIA joined the party? The Toronto Star reported last month:

… intelligence analysts say Diego Garcia’s geographic isolation is now being exploited for other, darker purposes… These prisoners are known as “ghost detainees” or the “new disappeared,” and they’re being subjected to treatment that makes the abuses at the military-run Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad and Guantanamo Bay camp in Cuba look small-time, say intelligence analysts…

Analysts say there are at least a score of unacknowledged facilities around the world… one, they suspect, on Diego Garcia, where two navy prison ships ferry prisoners in and out… the United Nations said it will investigate a number of allegations from reliable sources that the U.S. is detaining terrorist suspects in undeclared holding facilities, including on board ships believed to be in the Indian Ocean. “Diego Garcia is an obvious place for a secret facility,” says American defence analyst John Pike. “They want somewhere that’s difficult to escape from, difficult to attack, not visible to prying eyes and where a lot of other activity is going on. Diego Garcia is ideal.”

The British government has flatly denied detainees are being held covertly on the island. When asked last year, U.S. deputy assistant secretary of state Lawrence DiRita didn’t deny it outright, saying only, “I don’t know. I simply don’t know.” [Link]

Hambali (Riduan Isamuddin), the leader of the Asian terrorist group Jemaah Islamiyah, responsible for the 2002 terrorist bombing in Bali, is currently being held on the island. [Link]

Diego Garcia is a 6Å“-by-13-mile coral atoll in the Indian Ocean south of Sri Lanka. It’s as long as Manhattan and three times as wide, but with much less usable land. With a huge central lagoon protected on three sides by land, it’s an equatorial paradise. The lagoon reaches depths of 60-100 feet with coral underneath.

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In the early ’70s, the British government forcibly deported the 2,000 Iloi residents, mostly coconut farmers, to Mauritius to make way for a military base which it leased to the U.S.:

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At least She’s safe

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nun.jpg I’m an insomniac tonight, but you benefit from what my bloodshot eyes see on the local peacock affiliate. Read what happened to an asset to the abbey:

A Catholic nun who works to provide care for pregnant women was found with only minor injuries after a mysterious abduction from her convent in Southeast Washington yesterday, authorities said.
The 38-year-old nun, known as Sister Liann, was hanging laundry about 6:30 a.m. behind Our Lady Queen of Peace Convent when she noticed a man and woman on the grounds, police said.

Poor Sister Liann–a member of the Missionaries of Charity order that Mother Teresa created–approached the suspicious pair, only to have a blanket thrown over her head as she was forced into a waiting van. I shudder just typing that; I’ve read that once a victim is in a vehicle, their chances are slim to done.

Sister Liann’s peers were alarmed when she didn’t return from her chores to attend 7 a.m. Mass. Once the authorities were alerted, no resource was spared– I’m watching footage of recruits, bloodhounds and even a helicopter, all employed in the search for her.

It’s not clear what the criminals who abducted this nun wanted; they drove her around and later dropped her off two miles from her convent, which runs a soup kitchen among other programs for residents of this troubled neighborhood. Slightly injured (though I haven’t read in what way) she walked to a nearby Catholic church where she waited for help.

Detectives had not determined a motive. They were questioning the woman last night to learn more details. She is from India and speaks fractured English, police said.

D.C.’s archbishop, Cardinal Theodore McCarrick looked perplexed while on NBC 4 news a few minutes ago, as he reminded the public that these nuns “don’t have two nickles to rub together”.

Neighbors and top police officials expressed outrage over the abduction…
Several residents said the neighborhood is violent and a hotbed for drug dealing. The nuns, they said, seemed to take special care with locking their gate at night and keeping a close eye on suspicious people in the area.
“It’s wild,” said James Kelly, 52, who lives across the street from the convent. “The nuns are here helping people out. They would do anything for you. This is just crazy.”

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All look same and sound like Apu

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The prosecution of various Indian store owners swept up by Operation Meth Merchant has run into some problems. For one thing, they’re having a hard time demonstrating intent on the part of the store owners:

… when a government informant told store clerks that he needed the cold medicine, matches and camping fuel to “finish up a cook,” some of them said they figured he must have meant something about barbecue.

In some cases, the language barriers seem obvious – one videotape shows cold medicine stacked next to a sign saying, “Cheek your change before you leave a counter.” Investigators footnoted court papers to explain that the clue the informants dropped most often – that they were doing “a cook” – is a “common term” meth makers use. Lawyers argue that if the courts could not be expected to understand what this meant, neither could immigrants with a limited grasp of English.

“This is not even slang language like ‘gonna,’ ‘wanna,’ ” said Malvika Patel, who spent three days in jail before being cleared this month. ” ‘Cook’ is very clear; it means food.” And in this context, she said, some of the items the government wants stores to monitor would not set off any alarms. “When I do barbecue, I have four families. I never have enough aluminum foil.” [NYT]

Honestly, even having grown up in the US and knowing something about drug culture, I don’t know whether I would have caught the word “Cook” as drug slang in this context. The deeper root of the problem here, however, is that it’s very hard to write an effective law that says that something is legal unless it’s meant to be used to nefarious purposes. Sudafed, matches, camping fuel are either legal or illegal. You shouldn’t foist the burden on a convenience store owner to figure out how such common items will be used.

Another problem was that the prosecutors kept mixing up the different (unrelated) Patels involved:

Prosecutors have had to drop charges against one defendant they misidentified, presuming that the Indian woman inside the store must be the same Indian woman whose name appeared on the registration for a van parked outside, and lawyers have gathered evidence arguing that another defendant is the wrong Patel.  [NYT]
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Politicians are full of …

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It’s a very common observation to remark that politicians are full of fecal matter[NSFW], but usually this is a metaphorical remark about their character and moral worth. Very little attention has been paid by people to literal politician droppings … until now. It turns out there is no topic beneath the attention of the Indian bureaucrat: squat.JPG

Village council candidates in India should be allowed to stand for election only if they have a toilet at home, the rural development minister says. He said too many elected members “do not have toilet facilities in their own houses and defecate in the open”. Mr Singh said this activity was the main cause of the high incidence of diarrhoea in rural areas. [BBC]

Nor (surprisingly) is this a new issue:

Some states have already made amendments in the Panchayati Raj Act, which deals with the election of village councils, to ensure that elected members have toilet facilities in their households. The rural development minister suggested all chief ministers make similar provisions. [BBC]

Actually, concern with morning stool has long been a staple of desi culture. Mahatma Gandhi’s daily greeting to women was:

“Have you had a good bowel movement this morning, sisters?” [cite]

Indeed, one critic pointed out that

… Gandhi seems to have written less about home rule for India than he did about enemas, and excrement, and latrine cleaning [cite]

It seems the minister is merely following a path made by giants … Continue reading →

5th company, 34th Native Infantry Regiment, North Dakota

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Quizman sends us the following message over our tipline:

[Here is an] Article on Aamir Khan and The Rising. How can The Sepoy(ia) mutiny refuse to carry it? 🙂

How indeed?

Circa 1857. A wounded soldier arrives at a doctor’s clinic after a skirmish with his British superior. The sepoy has challenged his senior’s order to shoot opium farmers who were agitating against the English East India Company’s monopoly. As he is being treated, the sepoy meets a courtesan, Heera, played by Rani Mukherjee. While the woman admires this young sepoy for his bravery, he snubs her. Heera shoots back: “Sepoy saheb, we prostitutes sell our bodies, but you sell your souls.”

The courtesan’s words stir the sepoy’s conscience. And Mangal Pandey turns a rebel. It eventually leads to a chain reaction which triggers off the first war of Independence in 1857, described by the British as the Sepoy Mutiny.

Director Ketan Mehta is bringing alive on an epic scale the story of Mangal Pandey, the sepoy of the 5th company, 34th Native Infantry Regiment, Barrackpore. And who better to play the rebel who roused society to challenge imperialism than a rebel himself.

“He is one of the few actors who stand by their convictions,” said Ketan, who hails Aamir Khan’s portrayal of Mangal Pandey as his finest ever. “A revolutionary and a rebel in his own way, Aamir is a contemporary Mangal Pandey in many ways. Only he would have given everything to a venture of this magnitude.”

Mangal P. even has a profile up on MySpace MSN Spaces complete with a blog.  If Kal Penn can do it why not Aamir Khan? Continue reading →

It Would Be Funny If It WasnÂ’t True

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wires_01.jpg

WhatÂ’s funnier that having someone search your bag before getting on a NYC subway? How about being searched because you have wires on your chest than lead to a small black box on your belt while you are trying to get on the subway?

A friend just emailed this picture of himself with a portable Holter EKG that is monitoring his heartbeat. He uses the subway and NJTransit to and from Manhattan.

Brown – check.

5 o’clock shadow – check.

Visible Wires – check

Something box-like on your belt – check.

Dude youÂ’re getting sent to Gitmo! Continue reading →

The profiling myth

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The drumbeat for racial profiling grows louder in New York City (thanks, DesiDancer):

Two elected New York City officials say Arabs should be targeted for searches on city subways. They claim the NYPD has been wasting time with random checks in its effort to prevent terrorism in the transit system… The New York Police Department said in a statement that racial profiling is illegal, of doubtful effectiveness and against department policy. [Link]

… they are most likely to be young Muslim men. Unfortunately, however, this demographic group won’t be profiled. Instead, the authorities will be stopping Girl Scouts and grannies… commuters need to be most aware of young men praying to Allah and smelling like flower water. [Link]

Even Tunku Varadarajan of the WSJ came out for profiling desis:

I find that I am–for the first time in my life–part of a “group” that is under broad but emphatic visual suspicion. In other words, I fit a visual “profile,” and the fit is most disconcerting… one must be satisfied either that profiling ought to be done or at least… that it isn’t something that “ought not to be done…” The practice cannot be rejected with the old moral clarity. The profiling process is not precisely racial but broadly physical according to “Muslim type…” [Link]

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I’m pretty sure the 7/7 bombers did not leave the house all gulab attar-fabulous. It’s a practice more Arab than Pakistani, and the smell would have drawn too much attention. Racial profiling, the knee-jerk reaction to terrorist attacks on public transit, is a fool’s game. Instead of detecting inaccurate signatures (black, Arab, South Asian), the goal must be to detect behavior (carrying a bomb). The goal is accuracy. Otherwise you let deadly attacks succeed while wasting massive amounts of resources searching ordinary people.

The arms race between black hat and white hat has deep analogues in the military, the human immune system, antivirus tools, firewalls, spam filters and so on. In realm of computer security, behavior detection has utterly buried signature detection in terms of effectiveness. Signatures are trivial to spoof once you know what’s being looked for. Most viruses, worms and spam now mutate with every attack, it’s designed in from the beginning.

On 7/7, Al Qaeda switched from using Arabs to using Pakistanis and a Caribbean. Not two weeks later, they switched to using Africans. The pool of Muslim phenotypes is enormous; they can tap Chechens, Uzbeks, Filipinos, Indonesians, Chinese, Malays, white converts, black Americans, red-haired Kashmiris, blue-eyed Afghans. This is why the NYC mayor says the NYPD will use a true random sample instead of racial profiling. It’s not out of liberal fuzzy-mindedness, it’s because they’re being hard-nosed about saving lives. A race-based approach fails completely. It’s suicidal to rely on it.

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