While I was in India last month, I made it a point to read the local papers and watch the local news broadcasts. The purpose of this was to get a sense of the issues and concerns that were on the minds of the people and the press. Bush’s impending visit, the H5N1 (bird) flu, globalization, and the negative impact of the “MTV Generation” on the youth were frequent topics in the news and editorial pages.

Of greater interest to me were the numerous stories of NRI’s attempting to improve their villages. For example:

For a long time non-resident Indians have been donating for causes associated with their native villages or hometowns for schools, dispensaries or roads. In what is a rare example of donation targeted specifically for carrying out the battle against AIDS, cancer and TB in Punjab, a New York-based NRI today told the Punjab Government that he would spend $1 million (Rs 4.5 crore) on the project…. Mr [Surinder Singh] Dhall said: “If I am satisfied, I will donate even more than $1 million. It was my wish to donate for a larger cause and not restrict myself to building roads or schools in my native village.” [Link]

One reason I was in India was to attend a three-day conference sponsored by the alumni association of my father’s medical school, the Amritsar Medical College. The conference was organized in part to display the deteriorating condition of the college’s hospital and to generate interest in NRI investment into the campus. The response from the alumni was overwhelming; some graduates felt as though it was their duty to “give back” to the institution that had provided them with a living and with fond memories.

After Amritsar, I stopped by the Guru Nanak Mission Hospital, where I met a family friend from America who has committed himself towards improving this hospital and expanding its current capabilities. Again, I encountered an NRI who was devoting his time and money to a charitable cause in India.

And, even on the flight back to America (of all places), I ran into a friend who had spent three months in India managing the India-branch of his technology company. His interest seemed purely business-oriented, but in a larger sense he is still investing in the country.

The experience in India left me thinking: as an Indian individual who was born and raised in the United States, what is my moral obligation to providing anything to India or resident Indians, whether it be financial support, investment capital, professional expertise, or simple seva, or selfless service. Continue reading →

Stories about marriage in which South Asian women are treated like property, used as a means to obtain money, married off at the tender age of twelve, or attacked by their in-laws, understandably generate certain feelings, including shock, anger, disbelief, and sadness. Another expected reaction might be to think that these incidents occur on the fringes of a society: in an “old school” world that should be increasingly marginalized and whose degrading and stereotypical practices need to be exposed as such.

Categorizing these stories in this way not only stigmatizes certain vestiges of the “old school,” but also places or elevates the critic into a different world, a “modern,” “civilized,” or “Western,” one in which specific qualities — such as individual choice and gender equity — are at a premium. But, while disassociating one’s self from the old school has its psychological benefits, it would be a mistake to think that the women born and raised in the West are free of humiliation in the marriage or courtship process.

Recently, I have been reading a blog called British Born Confused Desi (BBCD). The author describes herself as:

a Londoner who has her foundations firmly rooted in her Pakistani heritage. I face a constant state of confusion as I battle between trying to be a good Pakistani girl and a modern British woman.

She writes candidly of her experiences as a prospective bride. Her posts give the impression that she is an unwilling participant in a draft, where the male suitor and his family thinks they have the final say as to whether they want to select this “free agent” girl.

My folks have a family coming over to see me tomorrow, I hate doing things the traditional way. It really is a meat market situation and for some reason the “boy side” always seem to think that its their meat to buy. [Link]

And when the family eventually came to “view” BBCD:

Today after a very long time I was made to feel like a piece of meat…. . We got on pretty well for a first meeting.. His mother on the other hand spent two hours staring at me making me feel so uncomfortable, I dont think she liked me at all, Im quiet sure that i was too “modern” for her. His father didnt smile at me even once, i think both the parents have been on a course as too how to intimidate a person…. Anyway as per usual in our silly community system of arrange marriages, lets just wait and see what “they” say. At least with last weekends bunch I wasn’t interested in him at all. [Link]

Continue reading →