Category Archives: News

The longest striptease ever

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Over the weekend I ran into a friend with a crazy story.  He told me that he had recently visited a city in the U.S. South on business.  While there he was taken to a nightclub which had women in saris dancing provocatively.  “People were throwing dollar bills at them,” he told me.  That’s crazy I thought.  I am pretty familiar with said city and I had never heard of such an unusual establishment.  Apparently even families sometimes go there.  I hate to be so cryptic but identities must be protected especially given the type of business.  Then, this morning I saw this on India Daily:

The Indian girls in Toronto are busy making big bucks with sari stripping. They wear sari to attract traditional clients from getting rich India and strips in front of them.

Industrialists, politicians, Bollywood directors, actors and producers all are heading towards Toronto to experience this massive display of Indian sex!

The number of girls involved in sari stripping and sex market exceeds hundreds. They speak fluent Canadian English, are brought up in Canada and have Indian heritage.

Pretty sad.  The logistics of stripping a sari must be a nightmare.  You’d assume that more than one girl has tripped on their own sari.  Now we know the downstream consequences of this.

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The poll poll

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should we do a reader poll?
 
Yes: Thanggod! I want to know whether readers are veatish, own a pet monkey or listen to Cornershop
No: Na ji na, it’ll lead to dismissing commenters with snarky, inaccurate labels, which nobody ever does now

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The gestalt of Sepia

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Here are the most hotly-debated posts in our first year (thanks, IfI). By number of comments, the London bombings are the clear winner. By frequency, M.I.A. is probably the subject most often covered. So sex and death dominate the Sepiasphere

  1. British “backlash” box scores: the London bombings
  2. Modi gets B*slapped: the Gujarati CM
  3. How it begins: prejudice in editorial cartoons
  4. Bad Indian Girl: the gender war
  5. The white man’s burden, redux: the British Raj
  6. Were the bombers BBCDs?: the London bombings
  7. Ain’t nobody here but us chickens: General Musharraf
  8. They came from 2nd gen Pakistani families: the London bombings
  9. USAAF vs. IAF: comparing the lengths of military penises
  10. Here we go again: Jersey Guys radio controversy
  11. Say Cheese: Manmohan Singh’s visit
  12. Stand up. For all of us.: Power 99 radio controversy
  13. Creep: General Dyer and the Jallianwala Bagh massacre
  14. Benedict maledict: the new pope
  15. My son the fanatic: the London bombings
  16. Bollywood Delusions: Race vs. Language: on being color-struck
  17. Politicians are full of…: toilet habits
  18. Currying favor: misconceptions about food
  19. More than just wooden shoes: half-desi Miss Universe contestant
  20. A more perfect union: the original Indian-Americans
    Movin’ on up?: Bobby Jindal’s aspirations (tie)

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Prison Yoga may be bad for your health

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I have long flirted with the idea of attending a Yoga class.  I have heard that once you approach your 30s you should stop lifting weights as often, and concentrate instead on maintaining your flexibility and cardiovascular health.  Plus, everyone says that Yoga is supposed to be relaxing.  Well…not everyone.  Norwegian prison officials have another take.  The BBC reported earlier this week:

A prison in Norway has stopped holding yoga classes after it found that instead of calming inmates, they were actually making some more aggressive.

High-security Ringerike jail near Oslo offered the classes to eight inmates on a trial basis earlier this year.

Prison warden Sigbjoern Hagen said some of the inmates became more irritable and agitated and had trouble sleeping.

He said the prison did not have the resources to treat emotions unleashed by the deep breathing exercises.

Yeah, I don’t know.  Call me a prude but I am not sure it is wise to practice something like a Dog Pose, Spread Leg Forward Fold, or a Bridge Pose in a prison anyways.  I would definitely not want to be on the receiving end of “emotions unleashed.”  I kid, I kid.  A sample of eight prisoners is pretty unscientific to say the least.  Maybe they just had an incredibly annoying instructor.  I have long believed that both Andy Dufresne and the Count of Monte Cristo probably had to perform Yoga in order to remain sane and escape.  Determination to both stay sane and escape will more than likely be my ultimate motivation for dropping in on a Yoga class as well.

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Freedom at midnight

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Long years ago I thought a ‘Tryst with Destiny‘ meant hooking up with a stripper.

Long years ago Vinod thought ‘desi‘ was followed by ‘Arnaz.’

Long years ago Anna thought Karsh Kale was a kind of cabbage.

Long years ago Abhi thought Kalpana Chawla was a variety of rice.

Long years ago Sajit thought the Dum Dum Project was an insane asylum.

Long years ago Ennis sprang full-grown from his mother’s forehead quoting Gayatri Spivak. Well, shit, he’s freakishly bright and messes up the curve like that.

In the last year, our scary-smart readers have corrected all those misconceptions and are poised to correct a million more. Once, S/He Who Must Not Be Named confided to me that s/he wanted more comments for his/her posts. ‘Comments?’ says I. ‘You want comments? Post something that’s flat-out wrong. You’ll have 47 comments correcting the error, 47 calling you a commie and 47 calling you a fascist by the time the post button springs back into position.’

So on this first anniversary of the Mutiny, I’d like to confess our little scam. You thought we were writing for your edification (and masturbatory coffee breaks — we know how you use the WiFi.) Suckas! In reality, y’all have been educating us.

Collectively, you guys are some smart mofos. Can I just say? You rock.

· Â· Â· Â· Â·

I’ve also taken the liberty of penning my hopes and dreams for Sepia Mutiny’s impact on second-gen culturistas. It’s a weighty political manifesto, so be sure and sit down while you read. Here it is:

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The Ravages of Mutiny

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Tonight, at the stroke of the midnight hour, marks the one year anniversary of the launch of Sepia Mutiny.  We would like to thank our readers (especially those who have left insightful comments) for taking time out of your busy schedules to participate.  Loss of productivity at your jobs is our collective gain.  In the past year our website has received just under 1,000,000 visits without a single lawsuit filed against us.  That alone is cause for celebration.

But alas, all is not well.  Fomenting a mutiny in the Blogosphere takes a physical and emotional toll on one, as some of the bloggers who visit our site know well.  I won’t presume to speak for my fellow mutineers, but my own life has fallen into a downward spiral worse than that faced by any heroin addict.  Hours spent attempting to fight the good fight has transformed me much as Mangal Pandey was transformed in his day:

Those who are familiar with blogosphere lingo know that the term “Pajamahadeen” is sometimes used to describe a blogger.  The two pictures below were taken only two days apart.  On the left you see me on August 6th of last year.  On the right is my countenance as it was on August 8th.  Just two days of Mutiny had taken a heavy toll.  I don’t really go out in public anymore, and hopes for a “girlfriend” are quickly fading.  Frankly, you’d be disgusted by my appearance.  What is worse is that the delusions of grandeur I suffer have led me to adopt the name “Mangal Pagal”.  Even my phone bill has that name.  Again, I thank you all sincerely and hope you keep visiting our site.  Please be aware though that blogging comes with a heavy price.  I ain’t pretty no more.

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The flooding continues…

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Just a quick note about the Monsoon induced floods in India in case you missed the note at the end of Amardeep’s updated post.  Two new blogs have recently emerged to collect stories and the latest news from the affected area.  They are in the same tradition (and run by some of the same dedicated people) as the SEA-EAT blog which was a great resource for many during the Tsunami.  The blogs are as follows:

http://mumbaihelp.blogspot.com/
http://cloudburstmumbai.blogspot.com/

Also, on Thursday morning many of us NPR addicts woke up to a poignant essay by commentator Sandip Roy who relates his memories of the rains from his youth.  He describes them in a mixture of both wonder and destruction.

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Aalok all Coked

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The hirsute Aalok Mehta from American Chai and Bombay Dreams is in a new Coke ad. Gently tossing his windblown musician locks, he makes the ad look authentic. It says, ‘Yo dawg, I see brown people. This colored sugar water’s down.’

The ad has alt rocker G. Love and a group of demographically correct city people jamming with a guitar on a Philly rooftop (thanks, brimful). They’re singing a mutant version of the ’70s song, ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.’ Actually, that’s backward. The song by the New Seekers started as a ’70s Coke pusher jingle (‘I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke’), and the clean version later became a bona fide hit.

Watch the ad, which runs before a Daily Show clip. Previous post here.

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Separation of Burger and State

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Dave Sidhu at the great blog DNSI has a very illustrative example of what stinks in the ethnic ghettos of Europe in my opinion.  It turns out that Muslims that have the munchies can now satiate their cravings at their own Beurger King Muslim (BKM).  The BBC reports:

Parisian Muslims can now enjoy halal meals in an atmosphere that mimics US fast-food joints after BKM, or Beurger King Muslim, opened its doors.

BKM has set up in the northern Paris suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois, where many locals are first or second generation Muslims from former French colonies.

And half of the suburb’s population of 28,000 are aged under 25, the Agence France Presse news agency reported.

Beur is slang for a second generation North African living in France.

So let me understand this.  It mimics the atmosphere of the U.S. by essentially being a segregated establishment?  I’m torn.  I HATE this idea because all it does is serve to further segregate a community whose children sometimes seem to turn fanatical because they feel segregated against.  At the same time however it helps fight the poverty that leads to and maintains the segregation:

For most of BKM’s employees, the restaurant had “ended a long period of unemployment”, Mr Benhamid said.

One BKM worker called Hakim explained that “young people in these suburbs have trouble finding work and this restaurant will allow the hiring of young people who have no diplomas or are looking for apartments”. 

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