heh – Indian men: Retrosexual stinkers – The Times of India –

NEW DELHI: Indian men stink. If anyone had any doubts about this, there are cold, hard numbers that will send these doubts to an unmarked grave. In a world in which man is less heterosexual and more metrosexual – male eyebrows are being plucked, chest-hair depilated and cheeks and underarms smell fresh – the Indian male is obviously a misfit. A market study done by ACNielsen, one of the world’s leading marketing information company, reveals that while the overall growth of deodorants and other personal care products rose by three per cent globally in the year 2003, in India it fell by 0.2 per cent.

Deodorant sales falling by 0.2% while population grows by 1.4% makes for a scary prognosis…. Queer Eye for the Indian Guy? Extreme Makeover: Desi Edition?

IST = “excess time consciousness” – MNCs grappling with Indian culture – Sify.com.

Realising the vast potential of Indian market, about 3000 multi-national companies (MNCs) have set up shop in the country and grappling with the stubborn Indian work culture that is particular about respect for seniors and disfavours finicky attitude and excess time consciousness.

Trying to get a Manhattan theater to tell me which Bollywood flick they were showing:

She struggled through something that sounded like the wonka-wonka teacher in a Charlie Brown special… ?What?s that first word again?? ?Dill. As in pickle.? Ah, dil. It?s a clue, Watson. Unfortunately, it?s also the first word in 17 million other Hindi film titles which mix-and-match dil, kya, main, nahin, and pyar. Like the housing developments of Seattle (timber, wood, lake, lawn), no other words are allowed.

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going to graduate school in DC with a bunch of students FROM india destroyed most of my preconceived notions about the motherland. this article put them right back 😉 :

Most Indian men expect their wives to be virgins before marriage and would refuse to wed a woman who admits to having had premarital sex, said an opinion poll in a weekly news magazine on Saturday.

About 72 per cent of 2,499 men surveyed in 11 Indian cities expected their wives to be virgins before marriage, the poll published in the latest edition of India Today magazine said.

An overwhelming 77 per cent of those surveyed in the country, known for its sexually conservative culture, said they would reject women who admitted to having had premarital sex.

my favourite line of the article:

…According to the magazine, “Virginity continues to be confused with chastity (by the Indian male).”

my least favourite line in the article:

In what could set alarm bells ringing for AIDS prevention groups, only 38 per cent of men felt condoms were “a must use” while 24 per cent said, they “spoiled” sexual pleasure.

i think people are lying about whether they want to do Ash:

Six per cent of the men voted former Miss World and Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai their fantasy woman while 16 per cent idolised acquaintances and others.

like they’d turn down someone in a victoria’s secret runway outfit. pshaw:

Fifty-four per cent of respondents said their favourite attire for women was the traditional Indian dress, the sari, with 38 per cent voting for the salwar-kameez or long shirt and pyjamas. Just eight per cent voted for Western attire -bikinis, skirts and trousers.

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I listened carefully for the usual remark, and wondered what it would be. My mind flashed forward to a scene of myself, explaining to a judge why I had decided to wastefully pelt these kids with my precious produce. I was also wondering, in another part of my mind, whether I would miss my peaches or beets more, and which ones would be more accurate to throw. I wished I had picked up some overripe tomatoes just a few minutes before, to make sauce with and to express myself more precisely with. With the anniversary of 9-11 approaching, I really didn’t feel like smiling and turning the other cheek at a threat, an accusation of terrorism, or my favorite phrase (which I haven’t heard here yet), “Sand Nigger.”

The chatter from the boat dimmed as they noticed me, and I tensed slightly. Finally one of them yelled, “Nice Beard!”

“Thanks!” I responded. “I grew it myself!”

Excerpts above; the full version is available at my home blog.

I have posted a few entries now about the Indian delegates to the Republican National Convention. An SM reader named Jagjit (who earlier brought us a poster about his visionary new film) has once again provided us with something useful to look at. He writes:

It appears that we command quite a significant presence among the GOP delegates. This is an incredible development, and truly meaningful progress for our community, our issues, and the country as a whole.

They are making their way up the ranks of our country’s dominant party. Their victories are our victories. We should all pull for and support these trailblazers.

The first order of business is to polish up the bios/self-descriptions that were provided to DesiTalk-NewsIndia Times. Most of them sound like they were written in quite a hurry, and without consideration given to marketing the delegates. To show my support, I would like to take a stab at spinning together an effective public image with which to brand themselves by editing the aforementioned descriptions (free-of-charge).

My proposal will offer them the best chance to rise within the GOP by demonstrating a readiness to champion the party’s core beliefs.

Good news from the science front – MSNBC – Montezuma’s curse gets reversed.

September issue, Budget Travel magazine – Traveler’s diarrhea, or T.D., has ruined many a vacation, especially to high-risk destinations such as Mexico and India.

Changing the approach to treating the common ailment is an antibiotic that’ss newly approved in the U.S., but one that’s been prescribed in Europe for years. Rifaximin was given the official OK by the FDA this past spring, and as of August it’ll be sold under the name Xifaxan (the first x is pronounced like a z).

The four nuns from India, some with a few pimples left over from adolescence and all in black habits and crucifixes, giggled and chatted like American freshmen as they arrived here for college.
They came from Kerala, a state in southwest India, to attend Assumption College for Sisters at Mallinckrodt Convent as part of an atypical Roman Catholic experiment.
[snip]
The students have been encouraged to display their talents at prayer services, in the motherhouse and occasionally at Mass. One of the visiting nuns … said, “The Nigerians are great singers.” The Indian nuns, she added with a giggle and peek in their direction, “really know how to dance.”

[NYT]

Does anybody else think this sounds like a bollywood movie? Or yet another Sister Act movie with Whoopy Goldberg? Sister Act 12, in which Whoopi Goldberg teaches teenage indian nuns how to sing to go with their dancing.

You MUST go read Jagjit’s comment on the H&K post and check out the attached graphic. It’s priceless and one of the best pieces of desi parody I’ve seen in a LONG time. It’s so good I’m jealous.

Pioneering rock queen Freddie Mercury, a.k.a. Farokh Bulsara, has posthumously penetrated the Persian market (via our very own Abhi):

[T]he Ministry [of Islamic Guidance] liked the song Bohemian Rhapsody… about a man who commits murder and sells his soul to the devil. On the night before his execution he prays to Allah for redemption… I will forever think of Wayne’s World. I imagined a bunch of Islamic clerics in the back seat of a car, banging their heads to this song.

The UK voted ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ the best song of all time, beating out the Beatles’ ‘Imagine.’ And in the back seat of the Pacer, in the black turban, jamming on air drums, we have ayatollah Ali. Please give him a warm hand on his opening… Continue reading →