Category Archives: Arts and Entertainment

It’s TMBWITW Time…Again

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It has been some time since we’ve mutinied over Ms. Aishwarya Rai, the Bollywood bombshell who in her past couple of film ventures hasn’t had too much luck conquering the western film market. Rai, who made her Hollywood debut in the somewhat successful English ode to Bollywood, Bride and Prejudice and flopped in the poorly executed (yet visually exciting) Mistress of Spices, may have scored a nice role and hopefully a better foray into the west with her role as Mira, a sword-wielding warriorete, in Doug Lefler’s, The Last Legion. The film, which stars Sir Ben Kingsley and Colin Firth –Rai impressively receives third billing — is the story of twelve-year-old emperor Romulus Augustus, who in the midst of the fall of the Roman Empire, escapes to join up with a small band of survivors who make their way to Britain in search of the chotu ruler’s ultimate legion, one of which I take is Miss Rai.

“Dare to Be Daring”

I have to say after seeing the trailer (I know, it is just the trailer) Aishwarya’s performance looks quite good (link). The role is completely different than anything she has been in before, the cast is stellar (Ben Kingsley was Gandhi!), and Ash as an ass-kicking, sword handling fighter is a nice contrast to the usual, happy-go-lucky, Bhangra-circle dancing Ms. World that we are used to seeing. It can only be a good thing that she is moving away from doing the strictly desi themed film and towards playing a non-ethnic role. A well-received performance here, in an actual mainstream film, has the potential to really catapult her to the Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz levels, and on top of all that, Rai has extra incentive for this film to be successful, she bought the Indian rights. The Last Legion rated PG 13 is being distributed by MGM and the Weinsteins, and is set to release sometime in 2007 (I’ve seen both January 19 and April 27 as potential release dates).

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Flippin’ the Bird

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seattle.jpgI am quite sure many of you macacas have had some version of this experience, recounted by Mukta Tripathi of the Napa Valley Register:

During my first fall in the United States, someone asked me what Indians do for Thanksgiving.

Faced with this sort of inquiry, there are three basic approaches you can take.

1) A thorough, sensitive explanation that Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday unfamiliar to desis-from-desiland or any foreigners for that matter, augmented if you care to, by a description of meals consumed at holidays of the desi tradition of your choice, and if you need to, by a patient clarification that you are not one of those other Indians, you know, like that nice lady Pocahontas;

2) A petulant riposte that you are, by birth or longstanding residence, as American as the questioner, and how dare they suggest you would mark Thanksgiving any differently than they;

3) Simply invite the questioner to sit down with you and get your eat on.

My personal preference goes to option 3, as does Tripathi’s, who contributes in that spirit a menu of desified Thanksgiving delights:

I have put together a list of dishes using some traditional American Thanksgiving ingredients: green beans, pumpkin, turnips, potatoes and even cranberries. The sweet and sour pumpkin dish and the turnip, tomato and pea curry can be served with rice pilaf or rolled in a flour tortilla or flatbread as a wrap. I can guarantee that your vegetarian friends will be happy with these alternatives to turkey, and even the non-vegetarians may be inspired by these recipes.

They include Sweet and Sour Pumpkin with Indian Five Spices, Turnip Tomato and Peas Curry, Rice Pilaf; and Ginger and Cranberry Chutney with Five Spices.

You will have noticed that one key item is missing: the turkey. That’s fine if you’re vegetarian — you get to avoid the chore of preparing this fundamentally boring bird in a way that’s fit to eat — but if you or your guests are not, and unless you splurge for a partridge or goose, you need to deal with the problem. That’s where restaurateurs like Qudrat Syed of Chicago come in. He’ll desify your gobbler for a fee:

For $75, Syed took Motamen’s store-bought bird and gave him back a tandoori turkey with biryani, a vegetable-laden rice dish, and Motamen got to keep his own kitchen clean. “It was really different and really good,” said Motamen, who plans to do it again this year.

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Pink haathis and the like

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In retrospect, that last bottle of champagne on Saturday night was a bad idea, but finding an unopened, chilled bottle of Dom in Karachi is so damn’ difficult that I simply couldn’t pass up the offer.

I did however manage to pass right the hell out.

And now I’m still not sure why I have rope burns on my wrists, nor why my underwear seems to have mysteriously gone missing, and most importantly, why I’m trapped in a room without any minimalist furniture, wall-decorations other than a Mr. Kabaddi 2004 calendar, and a laptop perched on what seems to be a vertically placed dhol.

Ah yes. I wondered what the Mutineers were doing at that party over at the Sind Club, but oddly enough at the time, I was too busy shaking my groove thang with Anna and marvelling at her ability to inhale Black & Coke by the litre to really pay attention to the ropes and chains that Vinod was trying (with a fair amount of success, mind you) to hide behind his back. I suppose the words “You know, we’ve never had a gay Pakistani on SM yet” should have been a marginal clue as to the direction the evening was going to take, but at the time it just seemed like such an innocent, simple expression of fact.

And now I’m trapped in a sparsely under-decorated room with absolutely no Aveda products of any kind, and I don’t even know the mailing address for this place, otherwise I’d have re-decorated the entire bunker by now. Which is probably for the best now that I think about it.

On the plus side, I think I see the t-shirt Ex-Intern Neel was wearing lying on the floor, so there may yet be hope for this location. Continue reading →

M.I.A. Reappears Amid Charm City Grime

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wire.jpgOn September 15 BidiSmoker wrote this about the best show on TV:

I know there isn’t much of a desi angle to the story, but I’d love to write a post for SM on the Wire just because it’s such a great show that everyone should watch and no one does.

and Salil replied:

I TiVo and watch it religiously. It is, in my opinion, the best show on TV. I lived in Baltimore for a year, and they’ve captured the feel of that city to perfection. It’s gritty and raw without being forced or unbelievable, and the stories are really powerful. I kind of wish for a desi angle on it, too.

It is written, ask and ye shall receive! For it turns out that only a few days later the desi angle manifested itself. Allow me to take you through the steps:

1) The best show on television is The Wire.

2) The Wire takes place in Baltimore.

3) Baltimore has two major current cultural exports that share a rough, hyperrealistic griminess. One is The Wire, the other is the bass-heavy sound known as Baltimore club.

4) A major recent convert to Baltimore club is DJ Wesley Pentz aka Diplo.

5) Diplo is the music- (and sometimes more-) mate of Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam AKA M.I.A.

miabalto.jpg6) M.I.A.’s first reported appearance in the United States since her reported troubles with U.S. immigration took place on September 25 at Baltimore club Taxidermy Lounge, in a surprise set with Diplo before about 20 late-Monday-night revelers. (There she is to the right; photo from the Tazidermy Lounge MySpace page.)

7) M.I.A.’s new track “XR2,” now spreading virally over the internets (thanks Ismat and Nirali!), and its Diplo remix “XR2 Turbo,” are heavily influenced by Baltimore club.

So there you have it; the connection is drawn. Now you macacas can talk freely here about the show — or about the song, which marks something of a new artistic direction for the sista. I think it’s pretty dope. Continue reading →

This Is Doha

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Al-Jazeera’s English-language channel launched today. I just watched the inaugural broadcast of Riz Khan’s daily one-hour show. It consisted of two long interviews, one with the Palestinian prime minister, Ibrahim Haniyeh of Hamas, and one with Shimon Peres, Israel’s vice-premier. Riz posed questions that were substantive and reasonably challenging, including a number sent in by viewers. It was interesting enough though the demure pace — you might say sedate — took some getting used to; the long-form interview format is only as good as the interviewees. The Peres segment was the more watchable, while the Haniyeh segment suffered from long, awkward pauses while Riz’s questions were being translated, off air, into Arabic.

AJEset.jpgAs I write this, an hour-long news show is under way with anchors in Doha, London and Washington and correspondents deployed in a number of locations. The global-South aspirations are made clear, with a reporter in Tehran, an interview of Congolese president Joseph Kabila, and a feature story from Brazil. The voices are mainly British, and of these, several are desi; others include former BBC reporter Rageh Omaar and other veterans of established UK and other outlets. The weather announcer is British and blonde.

The news hour pace is slower than CNN but faster than Riz’s show, very much in line with what you get on British and European news channels. It’s quite pleasant, actually. The overall production values are strong. So is the website, which has been totally overhauled from its previous atrocious state; it now looks very nice and has a good clear interface, although it’s still quite thin on content. To watch AJE in the United States, you will need to go through the website as there are no US distribution deals in place yet, and who knows when there will be. The site offers two feeds through RealPlayer: the low bandwidth feed, which I watched, worked fine, although it automatically ends after 15 minutes (you can just press play and it restarts); a high-quality feed is also offered for $5.95 per month.

The jury is out and no doubt will be for quite some time, but once I lowered my metabolism to the right level, I actually started to find the broadcast quite interesting and refreshing in its choices of topics. Nothing politically controversial has happened yet, and the presenters regularly read viewer email, including negative comments. It’s been striking so far how many of the comments, both positive and negative, come from people in the US. Perhaps the producers are emphasizing these on purpose.

My principal criticism so far is the overall global-antiseptic style that makes you feel like you are in a hotel room on some business trip even when you aren’t. But that’s a problem all these international news channels share. Here’s an early, generally positive, assessment from The Times of London; a profession of faith by the English program editor in The Guardian; and a Washington Post feature on Dave Marash, the Washington anchor. Continue reading →

A Cyber Farewell

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It is with great relief and extreme sadness that I leave the mutiny today ending the sequel to my Mutiny-Wallah gig. I think there may have been a way to bribe the head macacas to hang around the bunker blogging some more, but my lawyer and I have decided against it. I came back on board to Sepia Mutiny months ago with the expectation of blogging on the 2006 elections and am leaving today having spent more time researching cyber law than should be legal (bad pun, I know). You didn’t think I was going to leave without sharing some of the research I dug up, now would you?

1) It is a misdemeanor in the state of California to be sent multiple e-mails after you sent one that said stop contacting me, even if the perpetrator is in another state (check to see what your state’s laws are). My advice: never block or delete e-mails until you’ve accumulated enough evidence, never respond to the e-mails except for a one liner that says ‘stop contacting me’ and file a report with the police immediately.

2) Those IP addresses are a tricky thing — they are often anonymous to protect the bloggers and commenters. But IP addresses can be tracked with a court order, and sites like MySpace, Friendster, or Blogspot have a wealth of IP information that they have to give to the police if given a court order, especially if the perpetrator used those sites to contact you. Also, if you do blog, get a sitemeter, and monitor those IP addresses religiously.

3) If you Flickr, photolog, whatever — copyright your pictures. According to blog laws, sites such as Brown People can post your pictures up legally as long as they link to the source. If you copyright your pictures, they are not allowed to take your image. The laws around image copyright infringement are pretty harsh (known as the Digital Millennium Copyright Act), and the Google law team is standing by to make sure Blogspot users don’t infringe this aspect of the law. You should copyright your blog too.

4) Save everything, take screenshots (go to File, Save page as…) of everything. In a world where the Internet can be so easily manipulated and deleted, it is important that you save things immediately. Not just saving e-mails in your inbox, but take screen shots of profiles, blogs, websites and accumulating your data. Both your lawyers and law enforcement will be pleased to see that you have evidence to back your claim.

The rest of the list continued after the jump…

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Diaspora on the Bus

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[Was encouraged to share my narrative – it’s a little different than my usual posts here. Trying something new!]

She stepped on the bus wearing a neon green kurtha top bejeweled with yellow rhinestones. She gave me this knowing look and sat down purposefully in the seat kitty-corner to me. She smiled. “Where are you from?”

I looked at her skeptically. I hate being asked that question. She didn’t look desi for sure, just maybe desi. I always decide in that split-second after a quick analysis how I’m going to respond. “My parents are from Bangladesh.” I paused. I thought in that sassy way, if she’s going to ask, doesn’t that give me the right to ask too? “Where are you from?”

“South Africa.” There it is again! Another one from the South Asian via Africa diaspora!

She first asked if I liked to shop. I said of course, but you know, I’m a student so I don’t shop, really. She then proceeded to ask me for advice on the different malls and where I liked to shop the best. She then asked me if I did anything for Halloween. At this point I realized she was just interested in speaking to someone, anyone. So I told her I did do something for Halloween. I had gone to West Hollywood on Halloween night and partook in the madness that it is known for. “Did you do anything?”

“Oh no, we don’t believe in Halloween. Or Valentine’s Day. You see I’m an Indian Muslim.”

“Um, I’m Muslim too. It’s just fun to dress up.”

I don’t really get what there is to NOT believe. And seriously, who doesn’t ‘believe’ in Valentine’s Day?

She then asked if I was married. “Um, no, not married. I’m a student.” In typical retaliatory conversation style, “Are you married?”

It was easy to open her up, though once she started talking, her thick South African accent had me leaning forward trying to decipher what exactly she was trying to say. She really did just want to talk, and asking questions for people like her is just an opening for herself to talk. She was like wealth of diasporic information just waiting to explode. I asked everything about her diaspora experience, and only stopped myself near the end of the bus ride as I realized that everyone on the bus was listening to our conversation. Continue reading →

Just add curry

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Lately I’ve come across a number of recipes where desi “fusionification” occurs by just adding garam masala. Is this the culinary equivalent of a “princess costume” for Halloween?

For example, one of the regional finalists in the Build a Better Burger competition was Daljeet Singh from Coral Springs, FL. His entry was “Masala Burgers with Tangy Tamarind Sauce and Red Onion-Mint Relish” [Link]. You saw that one coming, didn’t you?

Unfortunately, he lost not because his burgers were too hot, but because his buns were too cold (who ever heard of a Punjabi with cold buns?).

The NYT coverage of the event makes it seem like Singh had some sort of unfair secret weapon, writing that the “overpoweringly spicy scent now wafting across the lawn from the Masala Burgers” [Link] did not distract the eventual winner. (?!?!)

Similarly, there are a number of versions of (ahem) Punjabi haggis out there, all of which involve garam masala. I love how this one group markets their version as healthier than either traditional haggis or traditional punjabi food:

By using an exotic blend of fresh tomatoes, green chilli and garam masala, the women of an Edinburgh community group believe their dish will appeal to Scots looking for a healthy alternative this Burns Night… They hit upon the idea of curried haggis while trying to come up with ways of making the traditionally high-fat Sikh diet healthier. [Link]

Both the women who invented the Punjabi haggis believe they have lost more than two stone since switching to a healthier diet less than a year ago. [Link]

For those of you who aren’t familiar with haggis:

Haggis is a blood pudding, stuffed with minced sheep’s organs, onions, oatmeal and suet (beef fat), then sewn in a sheep’s stomach and boiled or baked. The blood from the meat soaks into the oatmeal, mixes with the beef fat and turns the inside a dark brown, richly grainy colour. [Link]

Lamb offal is healthier than dal/roti/sabzi? Riiiiiight …. Continue reading →

Songs for the Sleepless

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It probably won’t surprise many people if I mention that these days we aren’t getting much sleep in my house. Our newborn, Puran, tends to wake up hungry every 2-3 hours at night. The feeding part is usually relatively straightforward; it’s getting the little guy to burp and then sleep again that takes some time and persistence. The best tactic involves picking him up and pacing for fifteen minutes.

One of my colleagues in the English Department suggested reciting poetry while walking; the sound of iambic pentameter is said to be soporific. But sadly, I’m not that kind of English lit. person — with my new-skool education, I never actually managed to memorize anything. Instead — and it’s not a bad substitute, really — we tend to sing to him, basically whatever pop songs come into mind (the Beatles are especially good: “I’m so tired/ I haven’t slept a wink…”; “Cry, baby cry/ Make your mother sigh…”).

One trick to make the late night hours roll along more quickly is a little game we came up with: take a classic Hindi/Urdu romantic song about sleeplessness, and tweak it slightly to fit the current context. For instance:

O ho ho ho, khoya khoya chaand, khula aasmaan
Aankhon mein saari raat jaayegi
Tumko bhi kaise neend aayegi (full lyrics)
Hidden, hidden moon; open skies
In your eyes, I’ll be awake all night
And how can you sleep either?

And the travestied version might be: 

O ho ho ho, khoya khoya chaand, khula aasmaan
Dikaar mein saari raat jaayegi
Humko bhi kaise neend aayegi

“Dikaar” means “burp.” You can see the old song at Youtube ; it’s Dev Anand in a film called Kala Bazaar. Continue reading →