Category Archives: Musings

Are we monkeys riding tigers?

Posted on by

Dance monkey. Dance.

About this time of year we all go about making our resolutions for the coming year. I, for example, have resolved to be in the best physical shape of my life and also to have the best year of my life (God willing). The latter includes using my free will to make proper decisions based on the experience gained from bad past ones. Resolutions seem to be an acknowledgement of the hope that we do indeed possess the free will to determine our fate, regardless of what has happened to us in the past or what some “magical power” wishes upon us (but just to be safe some throw in a “God willing” whether or not they are believers). To quote Swami Vivekananda on the subject:

Each one of us is the maker of our own fate. We, and none else are responsible for what we enjoy or suffer. We are the effects, and we are the causes. We are free therefore. If I an unhappy, it is of my own making, and that shows that I can be happy if I will. The human will stands beyond all circumstance. Before it — the strong, gigantic, infinite will and freedom in man — all the powers, even of nature, must bow down, succumb and become its servants. This is the result of the law of Karma. [Link]

An article in the New York Times, however, throws us a curve ball. Perhaps we have as much free will as a monkey standing backward while riding a tiger with a mind of its own. Perhaps free will is an illusion also:

A bevy of experiments in recent years suggest that the conscious mind is like a monkey riding a tiger of subconscious decisions and actions in progress, frantically making up stories about being in control.

As a result, physicists, neuroscientists and computer scientists have joined the heirs of Plato and Aristotle in arguing about what free will is, whether we have it, and if not, why we ever thought we did in the first place. [Link]
Continue reading →

This man made this table

Posted on by

Having shunned the blue temple I have decided to do my furniture shopping on-line where I am more in control of my experience and no blue arrows will show me the way. Per a friend’s recommendation I have been checking out the website Overstock.com. As many of you know, online shopping is now easier than ever. Not only can you read the (often fake) opinions of other buyers, but they also offer you several enlarged views of the item(s) in question. While shopping for a coffee and end table I came upon this find: Kishu End Table (India). “Oh, it’s from India,” I thought. Maybe I should help my peoples out. I decided to take a closer look at the enlarged pictures and this is what I found:

Product Description: Add a touch of India to your decor with the Kishu end table.

I mean, what the hell?!? Does seeing a picture of the man who supposedly made this table make me somehow more inclined to buy it? Do they similarly put up pictures of the 10-year-old Chinese kids who make most of the other products? I couldn’t find any other products where they pulled some exotification crap like this. Any yet strangely, I am now drawn to this table. Maybe a touch of India is what is called for in these mass produced times.

Continue reading →

Thrust into Greatness

Posted on by

The reason why no ideology has ever created, let alone sustained, the world it envisioned, is that by definition it could not account for unintended consequences. The same is true of more modest ventures. A war meant to be short and sweet turns out anything but. A campaign meant to steamroll the opposition clears the field of all rivals but one, the most dangerous and unexpected. Observing something alters its nature; naming it alters its meaning. If you’ve ever planned anything – a career, a vacation, a party – you know this already.

And so, when things happen – interesting things, significant things, things that surprise us and thus lead us to feel – they result only partly from deliberate action, and as much from the gremlins of serendipity, who can inhabit any of us for any period of time. Thrust into greatness, we signify; the moment passes, the world changes, we fade to obscurity.

salonsidarth.jpgAre you having a macaca moment yet? In 2006, desis were thrust into greatness in the person of S. R. Sidarth. Senator AllenÂ’s view of SidarthÂ’s ethnic happenstance differed so radically from that of a majority of Virginia voters, that the (near-) accident of the brother being there set in motion events leading, it is argued, to the change of power in Congress.

Macaca was about revealed perception. The perception was AllenÂ’s; but the revelation stems from Sidarth. Without Sidarth, the perception would not have been revealed. The tree might have fallen in the forest, but no one would have heard.

This is old news to us; in this community at least, weÂ’ve followed the macaca story from the start and have no disagreement as to its significance. Where we differ is in what we make of it for ourselves, the extent to which we identify with Sidarth or the fate we wish on the word macaca itself.

timecover.jpgOld news, yes. But this weekend Sidarth was made to reappear, once more in his capacity as the embodiment of macaca, as two news outlets produced their round-up of people who mattered in 2006. Salon names Sidarth its Person of the Year. Time’s Person of the Year is You – you, the diffuse and disparate emanators of content, the users who generate that which is user-generated – and Sidarth is one of the Yous the magazine profiles.

ItÂ’s interesting to compare the interpretations that each of these outlets apply to Original Macaca. Salon, the established survivor of first-generation Web journalism, sees in him less the agent of a brave new world of representation than an embodiment of an America undergoing demographic and attitudinal change. Time, a behemoth of a pre-Internet era when The Press told The Public what to know and believe, now celebrates Sidarth as one of a non-organized army of little people upending the plans and certitudes of the great.

Both treatments have in common, however, that ultimately they are not about Sidarth – not the “real” Sidarth, biologically and spiritually unique, but what he seems through various filters. It was the year of You perceived and revealed, by your own doing and by that of others. That trend will continue, as attested by the fact that you read this blog, perhaps comment, perhaps have established an identity here and elsewhere on the Web.

We are learning that representation matters. We manage our identities lest others manage them for us; in a way the two processes are dialectically the same. What remains is spirit: mercurial, contradictory, and if we will it, potentially free. Continue reading →

Pink haathis and the like

Posted on by

In retrospect, that last bottle of champagne on Saturday night was a bad idea, but finding an unopened, chilled bottle of Dom in Karachi is so damn’ difficult that I simply couldn’t pass up the offer.

I did however manage to pass right the hell out.

And now I’m still not sure why I have rope burns on my wrists, nor why my underwear seems to have mysteriously gone missing, and most importantly, why I’m trapped in a room without any minimalist furniture, wall-decorations other than a Mr. Kabaddi 2004 calendar, and a laptop perched on what seems to be a vertically placed dhol.

Ah yes. I wondered what the Mutineers were doing at that party over at the Sind Club, but oddly enough at the time, I was too busy shaking my groove thang with Anna and marvelling at her ability to inhale Black & Coke by the litre to really pay attention to the ropes and chains that Vinod was trying (with a fair amount of success, mind you) to hide behind his back. I suppose the words “You know, we’ve never had a gay Pakistani on SM yet” should have been a marginal clue as to the direction the evening was going to take, but at the time it just seemed like such an innocent, simple expression of fact.

And now I’m trapped in a sparsely under-decorated room with absolutely no Aveda products of any kind, and I don’t even know the mailing address for this place, otherwise I’d have re-decorated the entire bunker by now. Which is probably for the best now that I think about it.

On the plus side, I think I see the t-shirt Ex-Intern Neel was wearing lying on the floor, so there may yet be hope for this location. Continue reading →

A Cyber Farewell

Posted on by

It is with great relief and extreme sadness that I leave the mutiny today ending the sequel to my Mutiny-Wallah gig. I think there may have been a way to bribe the head macacas to hang around the bunker blogging some more, but my lawyer and I have decided against it. I came back on board to Sepia Mutiny months ago with the expectation of blogging on the 2006 elections and am leaving today having spent more time researching cyber law than should be legal (bad pun, I know). You didn’t think I was going to leave without sharing some of the research I dug up, now would you?

1) It is a misdemeanor in the state of California to be sent multiple e-mails after you sent one that said stop contacting me, even if the perpetrator is in another state (check to see what your state’s laws are). My advice: never block or delete e-mails until you’ve accumulated enough evidence, never respond to the e-mails except for a one liner that says ‘stop contacting me’ and file a report with the police immediately.

2) Those IP addresses are a tricky thing — they are often anonymous to protect the bloggers and commenters. But IP addresses can be tracked with a court order, and sites like MySpace, Friendster, or Blogspot have a wealth of IP information that they have to give to the police if given a court order, especially if the perpetrator used those sites to contact you. Also, if you do blog, get a sitemeter, and monitor those IP addresses religiously.

3) If you Flickr, photolog, whatever — copyright your pictures. According to blog laws, sites such as Brown People can post your pictures up legally as long as they link to the source. If you copyright your pictures, they are not allowed to take your image. The laws around image copyright infringement are pretty harsh (known as the Digital Millennium Copyright Act), and the Google law team is standing by to make sure Blogspot users don’t infringe this aspect of the law. You should copyright your blog too.

4) Save everything, take screenshots (go to File, Save page as…) of everything. In a world where the Internet can be so easily manipulated and deleted, it is important that you save things immediately. Not just saving e-mails in your inbox, but take screen shots of profiles, blogs, websites and accumulating your data. Both your lawyers and law enforcement will be pleased to see that you have evidence to back your claim.

The rest of the list continued after the jump…

Continue reading →

Diaspora on the Bus

Posted on by

[Was encouraged to share my narrative – it’s a little different than my usual posts here. Trying something new!]

She stepped on the bus wearing a neon green kurtha top bejeweled with yellow rhinestones. She gave me this knowing look and sat down purposefully in the seat kitty-corner to me. She smiled. “Where are you from?”

I looked at her skeptically. I hate being asked that question. She didn’t look desi for sure, just maybe desi. I always decide in that split-second after a quick analysis how I’m going to respond. “My parents are from Bangladesh.” I paused. I thought in that sassy way, if she’s going to ask, doesn’t that give me the right to ask too? “Where are you from?”

“South Africa.” There it is again! Another one from the South Asian via Africa diaspora!

She first asked if I liked to shop. I said of course, but you know, I’m a student so I don’t shop, really. She then proceeded to ask me for advice on the different malls and where I liked to shop the best. She then asked me if I did anything for Halloween. At this point I realized she was just interested in speaking to someone, anyone. So I told her I did do something for Halloween. I had gone to West Hollywood on Halloween night and partook in the madness that it is known for. “Did you do anything?”

“Oh no, we don’t believe in Halloween. Or Valentine’s Day. You see I’m an Indian Muslim.”

“Um, I’m Muslim too. It’s just fun to dress up.”

I don’t really get what there is to NOT believe. And seriously, who doesn’t ‘believe’ in Valentine’s Day?

She then asked if I was married. “Um, no, not married. I’m a student.” In typical retaliatory conversation style, “Are you married?”

It was easy to open her up, though once she started talking, her thick South African accent had me leaning forward trying to decipher what exactly she was trying to say. She really did just want to talk, and asking questions for people like her is just an opening for herself to talk. She was like wealth of diasporic information just waiting to explode. I asked everything about her diaspora experience, and only stopped myself near the end of the bus ride as I realized that everyone on the bus was listening to our conversation. Continue reading →

What’s in a Name?

Posted on by

With what seems to be the ongoing theme on Sepia Mutiny this week of (self) identification of South Asian Americans and racialization of America, I had to share the following story I got in my inbox this morning. My friend’s name is Nirva. Nice desi name, right? Nirva is shopping for a bicycle, and found one on craigslist…

Nirva: I saw your add on craigs list about the bicycle sale. And, I’m really interested in the nishikisport and murray women’s bikes. Are both of these frames lightweight and are they new? Thanks, Nirva

Craigslist Bike Seller: what nirva, whateva

[What exactly deos the “whateva” mean? Was it an insult to her name? Or was it a “we have no bikes for you”?]

N: i am sorry what did you say?

CBS: oh yeah righ they are brand new for 80 dollars yes. come right over this is hollywood and you can buy a bike nishiki brand for 80 dollars. what boat did you just get off?

[“What boat did I get off?” Kind of presumptuous to get all of that simply from her first name, don’t ya think?]

N: Excuse you…..First of all. It’s a question. If you want to answer it then answer it right. Damn you’re great with customer sales. Ya really want the bike now. Go take some happy pills and think twice before you get on a high horse and act anti-immigrant.

CBS: anti-immigrant? I just saw the movie Borat and you can not take a Joke! I do not think you want the bikes since they are not Brand New. They are used and I am sorry if I offended you but you are obviously too serious.

[Oh no. She didn’t go there with a Borat reference…]

Continue reading →

Sepia Mutiny Good for Mental Health

Posted on by

I recently learned that people that are more in attune with their ethnic identity are also less prone to mental health issues.

Ethnic pride can help teenagers maintain happiness when faced with stress, according to a new study by a Wake Forest University psychologist published in the October issue of Child Development. […] Those with higher ethnic regard rated their daily happiness level higher.

“Adolescents with a high ethnic regard maintained a generally positive and happy attitude in the face of daily stressors and despite their anxious feelings,” Kiang said. “So, having positive feelings about one’s ethnic group appeared to provide an extra boost of positivity in individuals’ daily lives.” [link]

Despite integration being healthy, segregated local communities and same culture friendship groups are common. A previous study reported that traditionalism was more common among women but this study did not explore the relation with mental distress or health.33 Traditional friendship choices may minimise the stress related to facing new dress, beliefs, diets, attitudes, religion, and lifestyle. […] Bangladeshi and South Asian pupils with integrated friendship choices had lower levels of mental health problems than white pupils. [link]

So…the way I see it… Sepia Mutiny helps people of our ethnic identity with being more in touch with issues around the South Asian American diaspora. I would even propose that people that, oh say, click the refresh button repeatedly for www.sepiamutiny.com may actually not be psychotic, but actually exemplifies exceptional mental health. Additionally, reading Sepia Mutiny will make you happier.

Sadly, the South Asian American community is still a little confused on how they identify their racial identity here in America. Historically, the U.S. Court Ruling for ethnic individuals from South Asian since the 1920s has gone from: Hindu to Caucasian to Non-white to White and finally to Asian Indian.

The confusion goes much deeper into the self-identification of the South Asian American community – according to research around the 1990 Census, the first time Asian Indians were given a separate identity, we see the following.

When all Asian Indians from the 1990 census sample are considered, regardless of age or household status, and the children of all Indian household heads are included as well regardless of their reported ancestry and birthplace, 83 per cent of this sample of 7,758 describe themselves as South Asian. Among the US-born segment of this sample, however, only 65 per cent use a South Asian term. Instead, 25 per cent of the second generation is identified as `White’ , and 5 per cent as `Black’ . [link]

Allright… So maybe not everybody in our community is as in touch with with their ethnic identity as most of the people that read this site. 25% of South Asian Americans think of themselves as white, for goodness sakes. Granted this was taken back in 1990, and I firmly believe that 9/11 and the years after have significantly changed racialization in this nation. All the same, there are people in our community confused with their racial categorization. So it seems… Sepia Mutiny is additionally providing a service to this 30% identity confused population to further decrease their identity confusion.

I had no idea that SM was providing such a service – shouldn’t the government be funding us for providing this kind of service for society? Seems like we here in the bunker could use a new and improved tagline to reflect these results: Sepia Mutiny: Decreasing your confusion, increasing your happiness, integrating friendships, and lowering mental health issues.With the simple click of the refresh button!

Continue reading →

I speak more Punjabi than Amharic

Posted on by

Despite declaring that I do not imbibe by myself last week, tragic times call for pathetic measures; I spent the greater part of my Sunday afternoon intoxicating at Tryst, alone. I was all dressed up in black (though sadly, I did not resemble an erotic vulture), like some flashback to 1989, right down to the eyeliner-as-eyeshadow-tactic for that extra corpse-y effect.

271009556_328658be36_m.jpg My favorite way to waste a lazy Sunday is with one fat newspaper and several cups of milky coffee. After a phonecall from home bearing bad news, those props were replaced by this iBook and several pint glasses of milky coffee + alcohol, on the rocks. That was one slightly bright spot on an otherwise bleak day; what I was chugging was delicious and that’s because it was by my design. Sort of. Okay fine, the drink that I want to take credit for right now is but a slight variation on the powerhouse “Martin Blanco” cocktail I’ve been fond of forever at Tryst (iced vanilla vodka + espresso + kahlua + amaretto + milk…shaken violently). Amaretto di Saronno was my Father’s favorite liqueur and I didn’t want to taste it on a day when I was already glum. I improvised.

“Would it be possible to get Bailey’s instead of the Amaretto?”

My waiter paused and then smiled, as if he suddenly approved of such a manoeuver. “SURE.”

Later, when one of his co-workers asked me what I would call this elixir I was re-ordering for the third time, I tipsily blurted out “Martin O’blanco!” and she loved it. So there you have it. Since one of my goals in life is to get something on a menu either named after or otherwise attached to me (I’d totally settle for getting a mention in a menu “description”, which is something I think Tryst does), I take my barely-witty nomenclating of half-creative cocktails seriously enough to torture you with it.

As satisfying (and veg-happy) as Tryst’s menu is, I craved something different. I had devoured Amsterdam Falafel earlier in the day for lunch; I was suddenly consumed with memories of the fantastic gobi I had enjoyed there and I wanted more. I’m like that; if I dig something I will eat it over and over and over (PB + J, every day, grade 1-12) again. I do that with movies, too. And books. Especially suitable ones. Amsterdam it would be. I told the purveyor of O’blanco that I’d be back in 30 minutes and I left.

Though I have learned my lesson and no longer wear anything remotely cute while on 18th street, lest I encourage the invasive jerks who plague my new ‘hood with their assault attempts, all my modest, flesh-concealing layers were barely adequate for the autumn chill. I keep forgetting that it’s October and that I should expect to shiver accordingly. Or, you know, wear a jacket.

“Ay, Mami…where you going? Come on in.” Three confused desi promoters speak Latin to me half-heartedly. It’s Sunday night and the strip is dead. I think they’re more bored than serious. I smile as I pass them, right before one of them asks the other, “Was she Indian?” That’s the question of the day, apparently. Continue reading →

Sepia Destiny Part II: Dating while Desi

Posted on by

Much like the girls on Sex and the City would get together to dish, my girls and I will get together and dish about the dilemmas of Dating while Desi. Yes, girls do talk, far more than we blog about. And Dating while Desi ain’t easy, as the mutiny has informed us on Sepia Destiny Part 1. In these talks, we girls will touch on questions such as, “Do you date desi only or non-desis or anyone but white boys? Do your parents sneak around behind your back with biodata and pictures? Do your parents give out your numbers to guys that call and don’t leave messages – from obscure area codes? Do your parents even know that you date? Where do you find desi guys that haven’t gone back to South Asia to get their bride already?” These questions (and more) are indicative to the plight of the single, 25 yr.+, independent-thinking desi girl and is why I love to find solidarity with my single desi sisters – whether over chai, or virtually by reading my favorite desi gal bloggers ( Rupa, TheBarMaid, Chick Pea, brimful, SP, to name a few).

Saturday night while I was surfing on YouTube alone in the North Dakota bunker, I came across this episode of Desi OC – after watching the video I thought to myself, maybe I’ve been playing the game all wrong…

The Desi OC episode above comes out of production company Raising Desi, and one of the film maker is Los Angeles comedian Tarun Shetty. (You may also recognize the gal pal from Timberlake’s Senorita music video.) All of Tarun’s addictive mini-movies are far more polished than the typical YouTube video, but the thing that struck me about this episode in particular were the rules they had for Dating while Desi. We all know the general “Dating Rules” — Wait three days before calling back, never talk politics or religion on a first date, and never say yes to a guy that asks you out the day of.

But I realize now after watching the video, that there are a whole different set of dating rules set aside for Dating while Desi. Who would have known? I certainly didn’t know the rules changed between dating desi, and dating non-desi. So, to summarize what I have learned so far…

Continue reading →