Bollywood Delusions: Race vs. Language

katrina kaif.jpg There’s a short article in Bollywood Mantra about the new Hindi film actress Katrina Kaif (pictured right), who has a small role in Sarkar and a starring role in Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya. She speaks Hindi with a heavy British accent, so professional ‘dub’ actresses fill in for her. Two other films of hers coming out will also have other women’s voices:

Katrina Kaif will have two releases in as many weeks and Akshay Kumar, who starts with her in Raj Kanwar’s Humko Deewana Kar Gaye, thinks she’s shaping up to be a “major heroine”. But Katrina’s relatively small walk-on part in Ram Gopal Varma’s Sarkar and her full-fledged part in David Dhawan’s Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya have one thing in common – she did not speak her own lines in both films. Reason? Apparently Katrina’s Hindi is a bit on the weaker side. In fact, Varma had originally decided to retain Katrina’s ultra-anglicised voice in keeping with her US-returned character in Sarkar. But the Hindi spoken by the actress was way too outlandish to pass off as a non-resident Indian accent. (link)

This raises a whole complex of issues, most of which point in one way or another at the weird neuroses that continue to haunt Bollywoood. But let me just make two points. Continue reading

More than a Brimful

My favorite quartet (yes, I have such a thing) will be dropping a new CD on August 23rd.  I first fell for the eclectic sounds of Kronos because of the soundtrack to the 1995 movie Heat.  SM tipster Niraj informs us that the group’s new album titled You’ve Stolen My Heart: Song’s from R.D. Burman’s Bollywood will feature Asha Bhosle.  Take a listen.

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From the fantastical land of India’s “Bollywood,” the world’s largest film industry, comes the music of the Kronos Quartet’s latest CD-a vibrant homage to the pre-eminent composer of classic Bollywood, Rahul Dev “R.D.” Burman. In more than 300 film scores, Burman entranced audiences with melodies steeped in intrigue, festooned with jewels, and stained with tears and henna-an eclecticism mirrored in ever-surprising combinations of Indian classical and folk music, swing jazz, psychedelic rock, circus music, can-can, mariachi, and more. You’ve Stolen My Heart finds Kronos in the eminent company of Bollywood playback singer Asha Bhosle, Burman’s wife and the most recorded artist in the world, who contributes new vocal performances to 8 of the CD’s 12 tracks. Inspired by the chameleonic spirits of Burman and Bhosle, Kronos ventures into novel instrumental territory on this disc-the first to be produced by quartet founder David Harrington-augmenting its acoustic sound with keyboards, gongs, cymbals, mouth percussion, and more. Kronos is also joined by longtime collaborators Zakir Hussain (tablas, trap drums) and Wu Man (Chinese pipa), completing this musical masala of eras and cultures.

1. Dum Maro Dum – Take Another Toke
2. Rishte Bante Hain – Relationships Grow Slowly
3. Mehbooba Mehbooba – Beloved, O Beloved
4. Ekta Deshlai Kathi Jwalao – Light a Match
5. Nodir Pare Utthchhe Dhnoa – Smoke Rises Across the River
6. Koi Aaya Aane Bhi De – If People Come
7. Mera Kuchh Saaman – Some of My Things
8. Saajan Kahan Jaoongi Main – Beloved, Where Would I Go?
9. Piya Tu Ab To Aaja – Lover, Come to Me Now
10. Dhanno Ki Aankhon – In Dhanno’s Eyes
11. Chura Liya Hai Tum Ne – You’ve Stolen My Heart
12. Saiyan Re Saiyan – My Lover Came Silently

Kronos will be playing in the UCLA Live concert series on Sat Sept. 24th in case anybody would like to go see them with me. Continue reading

Shazia Deen / Dancing Queen

Indian-American model Shazia Deen recently starred in a music video for the Marc Anthony song ‘Ahora Quién.’ In cascading ringlets, silk scarf and trenchcoat, she’s dressed as an old-time starlet and looks like a million bucks. Watch the video.

Shazia was born in India, her father being part British and Punjabi and her mother born and raised in Delhi. She moved to California when she was three… she has gone on to make 15 national commercials and Ad campaigns for such major companies as Skechers, Kodak, Nike, Hanes, Payless, Diet Coke… She has been studying acting in Los Angeles for 4 years and has guest-starred on TV shows like the Andy Dick show… She has also just finished a two and a half year course in Ayurvedic medicine… [Link]

Deen may be part Anglo, but that jawline is classically Punjabi. From her demo reel, she also seems to have played Latina and Iraqi. Racial passing is actually more interesting in real life than the pixelated vacuity of the image biz. It’s part hidden talents, part undercover spook: The Bourne Identity, The Long Kiss Goodnight.

The postracial premise is interesting, I’ve lived it, meeting someone attractive who unexpectedly turns out to be desi… it’s the unfolding of hidden wings… Even funnier is when someone you meet seems fairly whitewashed, then, months later in the right context, totally busts out with a tender oldie from, say, Umrao Jaan, with flawless pronunciation and full-bore eyelash flutter. It’s a hell of a bender. [Link]

Passing was also one of the most fascinating things about Bollywood/Hollywood, a parody in two parts: a charming and very meta first half, a leaden and inept second. Casting the half-Polish Lisa Ray as Sue/Sunita, the non-desi desi, was clever on too many levels to parse. The flick proved men do make passes at a girl who passes.

Bolly/Holly also had that thrilling, swing version of ‘Mera Naam Chin Chin Choo’ and its shapeshifting singer. Sanjiv Wadhwani belts the filmi standard in a bad Amrikan accent, but he’s just playin’, dawg. He morphs into fluent Hindi and again into jazz vibrato. So hot. The song plays over the closing credits; über-grandma Dina Pathak and wrestler Killer Khalsa boogie with a drag queen (Ranjit Chowdhry) wrapped in geisha. I forgave the bad acting for this scene alone. Watch the clip.

‘Ahora Quién’ (‘Now Who’) is on Marc Anthony’s Amar Sin Mentiras (To Love Without Lies), released last year. Anthony proves the market for elegiac cheese, like a fondue pit, is bottomless.

Here’s my review of Bollywood/Hollywood. Hear more desi-Latino collaboration here.

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Tinted Tilly

The August 1 issue of the New Yorker is la vie en sepia. It covers Charlie and the Chocolate Factory star Deep Roy, M.I.A.’s spinner Diplo and the Sri Lankan civil war. Roy is hilarious — I’ve never before seen an uncle in leather bellbottoms doing a KISS impersonation:

Inscrutable hybrids of Punjab and Marvin the Martian, their hair sculpted to resemble chocolate kisses, Roy’s Oompa Loompas are the film’s comic engine… As the Loompas, he sings, disco-dances, smashes guitars, and swims synchronically; he’s a chef, a barber, a shrink, a secretary, and exactly one hundred and twenty-one other things…

It took six months of fourteen-hour days to complete the filming of Roy’s four song-and-dance extravaganzas… Eugene Pidgeon, an actor and writer turned labor activist for dwarf performers [said]… “For every Deep Roy, there are a hundred and fifty of us who are forced to do wacked-out shit on ‘The Man Show…’ ” [Link]

Pop will eat itself:

[Wesley Pentz, aka Diplo] produced “Bucky Done Gun” for the British artist M.I.A.–it appears on her current album, “Arular”–and it consists in large part of chopped-up bits of a song called “Injeção,” by the Brazilian singer Deise Tigrona, which was recorded in da Matta’s studio. Both tracks incorporate a tiny sample of the horns from Bill Conti’s “Gonna Fly Now,” the theme from “Rocky,” to create a stabbing, jittery effect that is both thrilling and irritating… “Bucky Done Gun” … has now been remixed by da Matta himself… [Link]

The baile funk infection spreads. All your remix are belong to us:

Pentz cued up his own remix of Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl.” The song was already great–sharp-edged and minimalist–but Pentz had made it better, embellishing it with cantering, syncopated drums to create a swinging dance track. Under Stefani’s vocals, you could also hear snippets of baile funk–from “Feira de Acari,” a festive track that happens to have been produced by da Matta… [Link]

The Sri Lankan war article is not online yet, but it has a useful thumbnail summary of the war: The population split between the Sinhalese and Tamils in Sri Lanka is approximately 75%-25%, with Tamils concentrated in the north and the east of the island. Jealousy of the prosperous Tamil minority led to institutionalized discrimination: politicians reserved jobs and education for the majority and enshrined Sinhala and Buddhism as the country’s official language and religion. Tamils went from 50% of the medical and engineering students in the ’60s to 20% by the end of the ’70s. Discrimination against a prosperous minority is commonplace; in the Philippines, it’s erupted as a high rate of kidnapping of the ethnic Chinese, while we all know what happened to desis in Uganda under Idi Amin.

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8 Things About Bollywood You May Not Know

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[Note: the following post is a kind of indirect response to Turbanhead, from a couple of days ago]

Writing about Bollywood is incredibly difficult for an amateur fan. Many people are mainly interested in the latest filmi news and gossip, and watch current films to see whether they liked the heroine’s outfits. Rani Mukherji’s colorful outfits are scrutinized closely, but the quality of the film in which the outfits appear is somehow overlooked.

Then you have the retro-hipsters and nostalgists, who note the decline of the industry from its golden era in the 1960s and 70s, when both actresses and actors were impressively plump, and everything was fabulous, in that kind of “Amitabh’s pants are way too tight, but the sequins on his orange vest are oh so bright!” kind of way. Yes, I concur: dishoom, dishoom.

Some retro-bollywood fans will even argue that in the old days the films were actually objectively better, which doesn’t seem terribly plausible to me. There were of course some things that were better in the high-class productions from the old days. In particular there were beautiful song lyrics (many of the writers were professional Urdu poets) and the language -– one thinks especially of ‘courtesan’ movies like Pakeezah — but often it was just as bad as it is today, and for the same reasons it is often bad today: very low budgets, hurried shooting, and the privileging of star-power and profit over artistic integrity.

That said, there have been some interesting changes in the Indian film industry in the last 10-15 years, which are in my opinion worth noting and appreciating. The industry is still far from perfect, but it is evolving. Continue reading

Enjoy The Show

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Some kids wanted to be Bollywood stars. I on the other hand wanted to be the location scout and production assistant. Even though “exotic” locations and sets are de rigueur in most Bollywood films today, the location scout and PA positions still look appealing to me.

I can picture it now; some fat cat producer and a sweatshop of screenwriters churn out the same old pap then decide to inject some excitement into the plot when the hero/heroine/villain decides to train/prance/meet somewhere other than India.

“I want skyscrapers! Lots of them, and maybe some bridges, they have railings that come in handy for the dance sequence. Get me some damn railings!” says the director.

“And cars, sleek fast sports cars – convertibles, they have to have the top down for the song sequence!” Get me some fast convertible cars dammit.” (IÂ’m picturing the Indian version of the 1940s Hollywood executive here barking these in Hindi)

This is when a producer usually chimes in since he has a good chunk of change invested.

“Can we get some gardens or amusement parks in the sequence?”

“Yeah, get me some g**damn amusement parks!! If we need to reserve Six Flags in New Jersey for a whole week, just do it!” Continue reading

The Gray Lady, with a sprinkling of ‘Stardust’

So the NYT runs one of those stories explaining Bollywood to Upper West Siders (thanks, Yamini). Normally they’re highfalutin’ expositions on cult film theory. But this one’s just hilarious:

Sonia starts to undress him, whispering, “Show me you are an animal.” When he refuses and walks away, she screams: “I’m not asking you to leave your wife. I just want a physical relationship. If I don’t have an objection, why should you?” The actress Priyanka Chopra had a difficult time playing this scene… Ms. Chopra broke down and cried. The directors… had to spend a few hours convincing her that she was only playing a character. [Link]

First they print a piece by a Bombay film reviewer more suited for a filmi gossip rag. Then the story tries to pass off the idea that a global beauty queen has a nervous breakdown at the merest hint of fictional sex. Oh, her delicate ears! This is the same Miss World who apparently last posed as a member of the Divinyls.

I’m all for educating film hipsters, and far be it from me to to sound like a fanboy razzing the shamans of popularization (‘Everyone knows the Human Torch didn’t get his powers that way. Duh, it’s in issue 16!’). But come on, nobody’s gonna buy this wampum.

Then we get this tidbit:

Ms. Sherawat made her leading-lady debut in 2003 with “Khwahish” (“Desire”), which grabbed headlines for its 17 kisses… (For Ms. Sherawat, it also has a downside: She says her father refuses to speak her.) [Link]

Maybe it’s not about the canoodling, maybe her dad just hates bad acting

At least I have a new bedroom line, delivered in a thick desi accent: ‘Show me you are an animal, boss.’ It’ll go great with my disco ball, mirrored ceiling and leopard-print sofa.

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Bad News Brown Bear

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Good old Apul sends me this tip on the upcoming re-make of the Bad News Bears:

There appears to be a South Asian in the upcoming “Bad News Bear.” Don’t know much else about it.

Well, I inspected the dugout to discover one Aman Johal from Canada:

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AMAN JOHAL (Prem Lahiri) lives in Vancouver, Canada. “Bad News Bears” marks his film acting debut. Aman’s mother, who works as an actor and as a tennis instructor, always encouraged her youngest son to follow his dreams. His mother’s agent heard about the casting call for “Bears,” and Aman happily went, not expecting the fantastic outcome of being cast as one of the Bears. Aman has two older brothers, who are thrilled for their little bro. Aman has been a very competitive athlete, excelling in tennis, soccer and roller hockey. Since shooting “Bad News Bears” he has also developed a great love for baseball and quite the arm. Aman is also a big fan of music and “Star Wars.”

There is a very embarrassing picture from my youth that looks just like the one above. I was also bad news. Continue reading

Desi finally corrupts Hollywood

The guy who played Cooter on The Dukes of Hazzard complains that the new Dukes movie has too much humpin’ ‘n cussin’:

“… to take a classic family show and do that is like taking ‘I Love Lucy’ and making her a crackhead or something…” [Link]

“… the “Dukes” movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the “Dukes of Hazzard” for so long… I think the whole project shows an arrogant disrespect for our show, for our cast, for America’s families, and for the sensibilities of the heartland of our country… Sure it bothers me that they wanted nothing to do with the cast of our show, but what bothers me much more is the profanity laced script with blatant sexual situations that mocks the good clean family values of our series.” [Link]

Cooter then took a big bite of apple pie, saluted the flag, and then rolled himself back underneath a replica of the General Lee. [Link]

Good clean family values? These good clean family values? 🙂

Cooter says the song ‘Dazzy Dukes’ is a church hymn, cameltoe is what you find on a dromedary, and Bo and Luke’s ass-tight jeans are heartland values. So director Jay Chandrasekharstoner flick impresario, is now officially the first desi to corrupt Hollywood. And he’s Tamil, no less.

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Blood brother

SM reader Ravi Swami is an animation designer, and I love what little of his work I’ve seen. His demo reel includes retro desi artwork, war propaganda-style satire, psychedelic flying Bugs and a kitschy robot that’s a cross between Sky Captain and Futurama.

Swami mashes up kaleidoscopes, lotus mandalas, Indian revolutionaries and multi-armed deities. Behind a Bollywood theater, London’s Erotic Gherkin lurks erect. It’s all set to the moody atmospherics of Domenico Modugno’s original recording of ‘Volare,’ popularized again by the Gipsy Kings. Watch the demo reel.

The Spitfire beer ad is quite witty: pouring a draught becomes a visual pun about rolling a fighter plane. Brill! The reel also includes a snippet of an animation called ‘Mr. and Mrs. Singh.’ Its visual style is tremendous, 3D with a watercolor look:

A few years ago Ravi developed a short film with Gurinder Chadha which was to be shown before the film Bend it Like Beckham. When the Channel 4 animation department folded, so did the short. A real shame because… such a high profile film [could] have helped to resurrect the feature film trailer as a legitimate forum for quality animation shorts… [Link]

Most of the desi bits in the demo reel are from his short film ‘Blood Sutra,’ with director Rajesh Thind and a title shared by a Vijay Iyer album. As part of a public health campaign, the short fights desi superstitions about donating blood. Paper doll doctors dance bhangra at the hospital; a phillum poster announces the debut of an Indian starlet, ‘Heema Globin.’

… Rajesh and Ravi have also gone for a rapid-fire episode series… Shorts within a short if you like. This approach may have something to do with Ravi’s early obsession with Zagreb School Animation and the ‘Mini-mini’ series. The influence of the animated one-minute gag can certainly be seen in ‘Blood Sutra.’ Ravi’s views on the irony of the communist Zagreb School evolving into the capitalist Red Bull adverts could spawn a whole Ph.D. thesis… [Link]

Most who mine old Indian health propaganda (‘An Ideal Boy‘) do so purely for art’s sake, winkily adorning a coffee table book or T-shirt. But Swami re-applies the parody to the source. What can you say about making doctor cutouts do a silly dance, then sticking them back in a hospital? It subverts without subverting. I’ve never had so much fun watching a health film. Watch the short (3:01).

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