Category Archives: Fashion

Anatomy of a List

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Every year, the men’s website askmen.com releases a list of the 99 hottest celebrities on this planet. Millions of people vote to pick their favorite celebrity, and men the world over are more interested in the results of this poll than ones that pick the majority leader in the House of Representatives. I know, men are shallow. However, I am not one of those men. I care. I am also against the crass commercialization of women. But sometimes, one has to make sacrifices for the sake of an audience, and so this year, I am setting aside my usual apathy to take on the unpleasant task of scouring the list for hot desi women.

There is something in this post for everyone, though: the righties can be indignant about the clothes these women wear; the lefties can fume about the list being predominantly white. The others can gawk.

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Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen

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Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

Abhi at age 3: Nice hair runs in our Indian family.

-Lyrics from the musical Hair

You know what I love me most about South Asian women? Long, beautiful, black hair. Yep, I’m a hair man. Last Friday Brian (followed by a few others) tipped us off that NPR’s Day to Day ran a story about the hottest beauty trend to hit Los Angeles. “Indian Temple Hair.” As everyone knows, L.A. sets the trends for the rest of the nation to follow. Look out middle-America:

In most big American cities, almost any luxury item can be had for a price — real champagne from France, truffles from Italy, and in Los Angeles, human hair from India. Whether it’s individual clumps or full wefts, true human hair is available in beauty salons across the city, and selling very well.

Take, for example, Vared Valensi. The walls of her salon on a busy corner of Melrose Avenue are plastered with pictures of Valensi with some of her celebrity clients, including Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Tara Reid and a nest of Playboy bunnies. Each one is cute, skinny and has someone else’s hair attached to her head. Valensi put it there.

This story is absolutely ridic. The interview they do with the woman from the temple in India (where they import this hair from) had me speechless.

…so-called “temple hair” comes from India. It is a byproduct of a religious practice many faithful Hindu women have observed for generations. Pilgrims cut off their hair as an offering to the gods. The hair is then cleaned, processed and exported.

Tiripati temple is where most of the Hindu offerings take place. The hair trade is a boon for the temple, now commonly known as the richest temple in India. Much of that money is coming from places like Los Angeles, where advertisements for Indian hair dot utility poles and storefront windows across the city. With demand for Indian hair growing, more and more Indian companies are advertising to Americans directly, hoping to cash in on the trend.

Ummm. I’m not sure…but isn’t it kind of blasphemous to take hair offered to the Gods…and then turn around and sell it to Tara Reid?

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Indian Maxim is out to save lives

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Several of you beginning with “Msichana” emailed us to let us know that the Indian version of Maxim has just issued its first edition with Priyanka Chopra on the cover. The BBC reports:

Don’t ever change girl…oh…you already did? Nevermind then.

Is primetime Priyanka too hot to handle? Forgive me for pondering the merits of Priyanka Chopra, the Bollywood starlet and former winner of the Miss World beauty pageant.

But this is the burning question asked of us by the inaugural Indian edition of Maxim – the British “lad mag” which has just made its sub-continental debut with a pouting Priyanka plastered across its glossy front cover.

Readers are also promised information on “100 things you never knew about women”, a “how to” guide on professional begging, and a must-see article on the police inspector in Uttar Pradesh Panda, who fervently believes that he is the incarnation of the Hindu Goddess Radha.

Folks I have learned my lesson. I’m not about to make a comment about any of Ms. Chopra’s attributes, just in case I ever meet her. In fact, I had never even heard of her before I read this article. Bollywood film-watcher I am not. Also, it just so happens that guest-blogger Karthik answered a topical question at the very end of his first post. Getting back to the magazine’s contents:

Two bikini-clad models helpfully demonstrate how to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre (handy if you have a piece of food stuck in your throat).

Other parts of the magazine are a masala-like blend of men, motors and models.

Well sure. EVERYONE in India should know how to properly execute a Heimlich maneuver. I’m all for health education in developing countries. I hope however that they don’t let an article like this slip into the Indian edition. It might not go over so well.

See Related Posts: Indians love their newspapers, There is no place to hide it in India, Mortified

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Sari-nity

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Last year’s sci-fi flick Serenity turned out to be a WB-movie after all. The captain, a ramblin’ wreck from Duct Tape Tech, tosses his Conan locks and whines incessantly about the health of his ship. But the character is also as hilariously amoral as Han Solo and Indiana Jones. The movie is a whole lot more fun than it has any right to be, and when Heath Ledger’s squire gets shafted, it’s a moment of genuine pathos.

One of the conceits of the plot is that in the future, everyone will speak Chinese and import high tech machinery from India. In a couple of spots, the camera zooms in on hovercraft and spaceship parts prominently stenciled in Punjabi. (Presumably Mahindra Tractors is now Mahindra Tractor Beams.) Indophile also recently noticed that the costume designer drew inspiration from desi formalwear:

It’s ironic that a movie called Serenity bypasses desi philosophy for blingwear which evokes anything but. I say we give Brasilian-American actress Morena Baccarin a couple more turns around the fire and make her an honorary sepiate.

Related posts: A meditation on form, Use the shakti, Luke, “Khaaaaaaaaaannnnnn” Noonien Singh

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The Dutch East Indies

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Here’s a Dutch photo project posing members of subcultures (rockers, surfers, ‘ecofreaks’ and so on) in similar clothes:

“By registering their subjects in an identical framework, with similar poses and a strictly observed dress code, Versluis and Uyttenbroek provide an almost scientific, anthropological record of people’s attempts to distinguish themselves from others by assuming a group identity…” [Link]

The project includes desi women in Rotterdam:

When desis finally get their own high school clique name, it’ll be in some flick called Pretty in Pink, Orange, Red, Purple and Blue, and the name won’t be as lame as the ‘Massalas.’

On the other hand, the dike-desi look is similar to the British Asian bird uniform of London circa 2001: hip-huggers and three-quarters length fitted jacket with frock collar. Black.

See the entire photo project here.

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Introducing the “stealth” headdress

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Are you a traditionally dressed Muslim woman who is simply SICK of being profiled because you choose to cover your head? Are you harassed every time you go to the airport? Well now there is a potential solution to your problems (thanks for tip Vikram). Introducing the Counter-Surveillance Headdress (Click on thumbnails to enlarge):

The purpose of the “Counter-Surveillance Headdress” is to empower the wearer by allowing him/her to claim a moment of privacy.

The design of the headdress borrows from Islamic and Hindu fashion. The reason behind this is to comment on the racial profiling of Arab and Arab-looking citizens that occurred post-9/11. Unfortunately the fear of terrorism led to the targeting of those of non-western decent. Therefore in its design my headdress is a contradiction; meaning although it’s goal is to hide the wearer it would make the wearer a target of heightened surveillance.

The “Counter-Surveillance Headdress” is a laser tikka (forehead ornament) attached to a hooded vest and reflective shawl. The laser is activated by pressing a button enclosed in the left shoulder area of the vest. When pointed directly into a camera lens, the laser creates a burst of light masking the wearer’s face. Additionally the wearer can use the reflective cloth to cover the face and head. The aluminized material protects the wearer by reflecting any infrared radiation and also disguises the wearer by visually reflecting the surroundings, rendering the wearer’s identity anonymous.

Call me crazy but I like the reflective shawl. The woman behind this great idea seems to be one Gloria Sed. Her website contains other examples of utilitarian fasions as well. I know what you are thinking. This could be a great Christmas present.

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Slightly Desi Daily Candy

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Fresh out of GMail this morning, it’s a missive from my belowed Daily Candy about some silver “fusion” jewelry which is designed and sold in Virginia:

Inspired by the sterling silver baby bells worn by tots in India, the ring adds a bit of cheer to any outfit. Use it to jazz up a casual look or add more pieces from the collection for a fancier occasion.

Worn by tots? I wear those…a “tot” am I? Newsflash: brown “tots” of all ages toy with payal/kolsu.

A bonus: Unlike the cheery adornments theyÂ’re based on, the rings do not jingle (thankfully). So your friends will have to find some other way to tell when youÂ’re approaching.

What? Why not? If they don’t make noise, then why bother with calling them bells? And if they are silent, how will I sing “I’m jingling baby (go ‘head, baby)” to myself, like a shameless idiot?

I’m serious– in my opinion, the delicate brightness of those tiny bells, trilling their metallic chime as they kiss the “S” clasp they are mounted near is one of the most gorgeous sounds around: feminine, whimsical, unexpected. Bells don’t have to hide until Chrismahannukwanzakah, not when they can chill with your ankles on a daily or weekly basis. Sheesh. Continue reading →

Liveblogging ANTM’s mercifully brief trip to Bollywood (Updated!)

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nicole.jpg Breaking News which is Meaningless: A brown-ish designer, Ashley Isham, is one of the four people America’s Next (Nowhere Near) Top Model contestants go on a go-see with during this episode’s “challenge” in London. Contrary to every model friend I’ve ever had, THESE hapless girls are being told to wear something in the “style” of each designer, i.e. wear preppiness to Ben Sherman versus the typical jeans and no makeup MY friends rocked whenever they did anything.

The twist? The girls have to assemble their punk, preppy, mod and BOLLYWOOD outfits at some flea market. Winner gets a photo-shoot. A Bollywood photoshoot. (UPDATE: There ’tis, above/left.) Oh my. What any of this has to do with being a supermodel is beyond this bear of little brain. Lovely Malayalee Julie of ANTM3, we hardly knew ye, and ye would’ve rocked the shit out of this trifling test.

With the words, “so, look BOLLYWOOD” still ringing in my ears as four confused girls run off to buy something, anything sequined– but will they look appropriate for a frolic through the Swiss countryside?– I hereby notify you that this train wreck is on UPN RIGHT NOW on the east coast. You mutineers on my home coast still have 2.75 hours to get ready for this spicy jelly (Thanks, ANTM fan Rani!).

Liveblogging, after the jump… Continue reading →