Author Archives: apul

Nepal lays smackdown on dissent

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Nepal’s crazy King Gyanendra tries his hardest to make the Maoist rebels look like an attractive alternative:

Police arrested about 120 anti-government activists nationwide Monday for defying a ban on protests to show their anger at last month’s seizure of power by the king… Since the king’s power grab, many politicians have been taken into custody or driven underground. [AP/Yahoo!]

No one in the country will hear about it, since the press has been adequately muzzled:

King Gyanendra imposed sweeping curbs on the media as part of emergency rule introduced last month. The International Federation of Journalists (IFJ) says that about half of Nepal’s newspapers had ceased to publish since the king seized power. A number of journalists have also been detained on charges of showing dissent. [BBC News]

AP/Yahoo!: 120 Nabbed for Defying Nepal Protest Ban BBC News: Nepal journalists urge free press

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Let the (arms) race begin

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India prepares to drop mad coin on Qatar’s sloppy seconds (thanks, thoreaulylazy):

India’s Cabinet on Tuesday approved a US$746 million (€578 million) military spending proposal, days after an announcement that rival Pakistan will purchase sophisticated U.S. fighter jets. The defense ministry received the go-ahead to enter negotiations for 12 used French-made Mirage 2005 aircraft from Qatar, Defense Minister Pranab Mukherjee said. [AP/Yahoo!]

Accessories sold separately:

Plans also include the purchase of nine offshore patrol vessels for the Indian Navy and upgrades for Sea Harrier planes. The Cabinet approved a proposal to buy submarine-fired torpedo decoy systems from Italian company Wass, which also includes technical transfers to India, Mukherjee said. India will also purchase 11 German-built Dornier 228 airplanes, along with spare engines and ground support systems. [AP/Yahoo!]

At least this gives Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf and India Prime Minister Manmohan Singh something to gab about when they meet in April, in case they encounter awkward silences.

AP/Yahoo!: India announces US$746 million defense spending plans

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Penis protects Bhutan

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BBC News describes a stimulated aspect of Bhutan’s scenic landscape:

Driving from the country’s only airport in Paro to the capital city of Thimphu, graphic and colourful paintings of penises adorn the white-washed walls of homes, shops and eateries. In many places, pictures of dragons and soft drink advertisements showing a Bollywood actress jostle for space on the walls with phallic drawings. [BBC News]

An actress jostling with a penis could just be a still frame from any Bollywood flick, instead of evidence of a phenomenon. It’s not until you go down further on the article, that you realize the almighty deeock is found in even the most remote of Bhutan’s crevices:

Next to the traditionally painted wooden windows of the 80-year-old farmer, Dema’s, house is a bright red painting of a penis. Dema tells me she hired a professional artist to do it. “It’s to protect those who live inside the house,” she says…A few houses away lives 42-year-old Kinley. A simple drawing of a phallus adorns his wall. He tells me he painted it last year when he renovated his house. “It’s to ward off the evil eye. When people envy me or say bad things about me or my family, it takes away the sting,” Kinley says. [BBC News]

Kinley is doing something horribly wrong if a penis is taking away, rather than delivering, a sting. So why is everyone in Bhutan nuts about penis? The admiration is borne of religious lore:

Legend has it that Drupka Kinley would hit errant demons over the head with his penis to subdue them and turn them into protective deities. Today, several wooden penises are kept in the monastery. The longest, a brown wooden one with a silver handle, is the most important – it is considered a religious relic and is used for blessing the devout…The monk hits three young women devotees who come to pray at the monastery on the head with it. [BBC News]

Homesick Bhutanese monks (or just about anybody else) in Los Angeles can get that service for $30-40 (per head) on Hollywood Blvd.

BBC News: Bhutan’s phalluses warn off evil

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Air India launches daily direct flights to Los Angeles

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Pay up if you bet the long lines at LAX couldn’t get any worse:

Air India will now fly daily to Los Angeles, three times from Delhi and four times from Mumbai. “These flights provide the easiest connection for passengers. Incidently, the flights to LA are AI’s longest flights with 20 hours of flying time and do not involve change of aircraft,” said Air India’s Director for Public Relations, Jitender Bhargava…An estimated two million passengers travel between India and the United States annually. No US airline currently operates a non-stop service to India. [WebIndia123.com]

WebIndia123.com: Air India commences direct flights from New Delhi to Los Angeles

Previous post: Open skies and Air India

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Religious hard-liners united by lunacy

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Hindu and Muslim extremists share at least one thing in common: A knack for creating controversy where none should exist. The latter is up in arms over an on-screen kiss between Pakistani actress Meera and Bollywood actor Ashmit Patel in the yet-to-be-released “Nazar”:

Conservative Islamists are incensed at the thought of a Muslim woman kissing a Hindu. Some have called for an apology; others have filed a lawsuit, demanding that she be censured for an “immoral scene” — it is unclear what the court could do if it agreed – and still others have issued death threats. [The New York Times]

Not to be outdone, former BJP MP Vinay Katiyar is trying to pull an Ayodhya on the venerable Taj Mahal:

“The Taj Mahal was, in fact, a Shiva temple and was built by Raja Jai Singh. Its name was Tejo Mai Mahal (shining palace),” Katiyar said in Lucknow…“It (the Taj) actually belongs to us (Hindus) and we will do everything possible to reclaim it,” Katiyar said adding a ’Shankar Sena’ (Shiva army) would soon be formed and ‘Damrus’ (Shiva’s drum) distributed among the people to create awareness on this issue. [Hindustan Times]

Imagine the uproar from the zealots if a Hindu man and Muslim woman shared a kiss (with tongue, of course) on the steps of the Taj Mahal. Would the mere thought of it just cause their heads to explode? I hope so. Because that would mean that they’d be dead from a massive head explosion. And then we wouldn’t have to hear from them anymore. We can only fervently pray for such a peaceful fate.

The New York Times: Kiss a Hindu? Just imagine. Islamists did, with outrage (free registration required)
Hindustan Times: Taj Mahal was a Shiva temple: Vinay Katiyar

Previous post: Let sleeping Moghuls lie…PLEASE.

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Updates on the Shakti Kapoor scandal

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• Shakti Kapoor investigates allegations. Finds Bollywood casting couch doesn’t exist.
• Stars return to the scene of the crime. But what happened to the stains? (Check out the photo caption)
• Aman Verma also caught by an undercover sting. Reaction here ranged from “Aman who?” to “Aman who?”
• Producers’ Guild withdraws ban on Kapoor. Realizes it shouldn’t throw stones from a glass couch.
• Indian government takes aim at the messenger. Messenger sees its ratings soar.

Previous post: Casting couch caught on tape

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Indian scientists create “tea pill”

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A group of scientists in India announced they have created a “tea pill,” which promises to deliver the same effect as a cup of the freshly-steeped original to those who are just too damn lazy to boil or microwave water:

The four-member team based in the northeastern state of Assam — the heart of the country’s tea industry — said the pill was ready but it would take six months to be available commercially. “The pill is absolutely safe, (it) can be chewed or placed under the tongue,” Mridul Hazarika, director of the Tocklai Experimental Station, told AFP. It can also be enjoyed in the “conventional manner by dipping the tablet in a cup of hot water,” Hazarika said. “We are sure the tea tablets will be able to freshen and cheer up a person with nearly the same effect as having a hot cup of brewed tea.” [AFP/Yahoo!]

AFP/Yahoo!: No time to make hot tea? Take a pill

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Bhutan designs democracy

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While Nepal’s king does away with elected governance, the Himalayan hamlet of Bhutan gears up to embrace it. The country just unveiled a new constitution, which will convert its monarchy into a multi-party democracy:

King Jigme Singye Wangchuk says the draft will be sent to all 530,000 citizens, asking for their views…The king told the country’s only newspaper Kuensel: “The sovereignty, stability and well-being of the country must be placed above everything else. The country is more important than the king.” King Wangchuk assumed the throne at the age 16, the fourth ruler in the Wangchuk dynasty that came to power in December 1907. The transition began four years ago when the king handed down powers of daily governance to a council of ministers and even empowered the national assembly to force a royal abdication if the motion was backed by three-quarters of its membership. [BBC News]

You can read the constitution on its official web site, presented in both Dzongkha and English. Check out Article 9, Section 2 (via Boing Boing):

The State shall strive to promote those circumstances that will enable the successful pursuit of Gross National Happiness. [Constitution of the Kingdom of Bhutan]

Let’s hope promoting “gross national happiness” means sweet, sweet bourbon will now flow freely out of every tap in the kingdom. If that’s not the case, The New York Times’ travel section offers up a list of Bhutan’s other major selling points.

BBC News: Bhutan unveils new constitution

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Legit brownout

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Could there be anything better than an orgy of sepia theatre? Yes. An orgy of lesbian strippers. Aside from that, this is tops:

Los Angeles

“The God Botherers” — Actress Reena Dutt performs in an ensemble comedy about aid workers in Tambia, a place where there’s no rule of law, the last war’s ruined everything, and the next war will ruin everything else. So it’s like a session of the U.S. House acted out on stage. Mar. 25-Apr 24, Thurs.-Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 7:30 p.m., $15-24, Pasadena Playhouse. (via Hollywood Masala)

“Pounding Nails in the Floor With My Forehead” — (Insert any random joke here about the title describing the dating scene in L.A.). Actor Mark Antani performs a one-man show originally written in 1994 by playwright Eric Bogosian. It’s a collection of eight pieces, with each showcasing a different character expressing rage and unhappiness in a humorous and witty fashion. Mar. 25-May 1, Fri.-Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 5 p.m., $15, Third Street Theatre.

“Are You With Me? F**k the Middle East — What’s for Dessert?” — As character Vinay Khan, actor Ajay Mehta performs a solo comedy about growing up in India, moving to New York, and becoming the banquet manager of the United Nations. It’s partially based on his real life. We’re guessing that the part about the U.N. is fabricated, as Mehta’s performance demonstrates an effectiveness and efficiency rarely seen from the league of nations. Mar. 23-31, Wed.-Sat. 7:30 p.m., free, reservations required, The Complex.

San Francisco

“Mamlet” — Writer Nihar Patel’s David-Mamet-ized version of Hamlet gets a staged reading by members of the prestigious American Conservatory Theatre. It joins other winners of the 2005 "Write Like Mamet" contest. Rumor has it that Mamet himself entered, but wasn’t chosen. We’re assuming that it’s because his newest piece performs earlier in the evening, and the theatre didn’t want patrons to O.D. on pure street-grade Mamet dialogue. Apr. 2, Sat. 10:30 p.m., free, Geary Theater.

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U.S. to sell F-16s to Pakistan

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Despite losing Osama Bin Laden, harboring A.Q. Khan, and participating in illegal nuclear deals, Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf was told by the U.S. on Friday that they will reward him with a long-sought-after sale of F-16 fighter jets. In order to spice things up, the Bush administration simultaneously promised Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh a chance to bid on similar U.S. fighters. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice explained that the sales would bring stability to the region:

“What we are trying to do is solidify and extend relations with both India and Pakistan, at a time when we have good relations with both of them — something most people didn’t think could be done — and at a time when they have improving relationships with one another,” (she said). [The Washington Post]

Unlobotomized members of both parties aren’t buying it:

Critics in Washington assailed the decision, saying the administration would effectively supply both sides in a new arms race in one of the world’s most dangerous hot spots, even as it rewards an authoritarian government in Islamabad in conflict with Bush’s stated commitment to promote democracy around the globe…Former senator Larry Pressler (R-S.D.), who sponsored the 1985 law that ultimately forced the cancellation of the original F-16 sale, called Friday’s decision “an atrocity” that goes against “everything the Bush administration has stood for.” [The Washington Post]

The administration trumpets the sale as an integral part of its revamped South Asia policy, which aims to provide both countries with better ways to annihilate each other. Economic policymakers also praised the move, saying it would offer a badly-needed boon to U.S. defense contractors, and that the resulting nuclear holocaust would effectively end corporate America’s dependence on outsourcing.

The Washington Post: Bush: U.S. to Sell F-16s to Pakistan (free registration required)

Update: “Left, Right and Center” contributor Robert Scheer decries Bush’s Pakistan folly:

The announcement Friday that the United States is authorizing the sale to Pakistan of F-16 fighter jets capable of delivering nuclear warheads — and thereby escalating the region’s nuclear arms race — is the latest example of how the most important issue on the planet is being bungled by the Bush administration. [Los Angeles Times]

Los Angeles Times: A con job by Pakistan’s pal, George Bush (free registration required) Continue reading →