With increased freedom in Afghanistan (at least for men, at least around Kabul) comes the natural consequence of freedom: stand-up comedy.

At a recent impromptu performance, Mubariz wraps on a long black turban – a favorite Taliban accessory – and twists his face into a scowl. He grabs a Kalashnikov to complete the look. Then he screams at the men to go to the mosque, physically prodding them with his rifle. He grabs one long-haired man and berates him for letting his locks grow – a Taliban pet peeve. His imitation is so precise that the audience can’t stop laughing.

Other topics of humor include “the radio call-in show where people dedicated songs by mullahs (minus the music, of course)” and that old favorite of comedians everywhere – armpit shaving. Except in this case, the subject is the Taliban’s spot checks to make sure that men were shaving their armpits. [In accordance with the Taliban’s interpretation of islamic law, hair had to be short, beards long, mustaches short, and armpits and pubes recently shaved or plucked]

And of course, everybody likes slapstick:

one of the most popular shows on Tolo TV, a private cable station in Kabul, is “Lahza Ha,” (Moments). It’s the Afghan equivalent of Candid Camera, where pranksters stop Kabulis on the street and con them with gags. The show is so well liked that some Afghans pray early so they don’t miss it, and jokes are rehashed the next day.

Although comedy has a long tradition in Afghanistan (“comedy in Afghanistan thrived from the 1800s until the 1960s”) one comedian tells the reporter that he takes his inspiration from more contemporary figures, namely “Mr. Bean, Jackie Chan, and Charlie Chaplin.”

Source: In Afghanistan, comedians joke their way to civic renewal Continue reading →

News Flash! Salman Rushdie has found religion, and vows to fight to protect Lakshmi’s honor! The Lakshmi in question, of course, is his wife, Padma Lakshmi, the model/actress/food show hostess/etc extraordinaire.

The whole thing started when Guy Trebay called Padma a “semicelebrated hustler” in his description of Padma’s appearance at NYC’s fashion week:

This former model, cooking show host and celebrity spouse has seemed to appear at all places and all times during Fashion Week, like an avatar of the Hindu goddess whose name she bears. In the superpopulated Hindu pantheon, Lakshmi is the domestic deity representing wealth and the embodiment of beauty, grace and charm. One of the cool things about the goddess Lakshmi is her unabashed relationship to prosperity. In the current fashion pantheon Ms. Lakshmi similarly stands for a love of money and commodity

Salman did not take kindly to this portrayal of his wife, even though the article actually takes pains to paint her in a positive light compared with some of the lower rungs of the fashion food chain. According to the New York Metro, Salman threatened to personally enforce the penalty for blasphemy:

“Witnesses say Rushdie walked up to Trebay at a National Arts Club event three days later and said, “If you ever write mean things about my wife again, I’ll come after you with a baseball bat.”

The metro goes on to twit Rushdie for being a hypocrite:

Of course, many found it ironic that Rushdie was threatening a writer with bodily harm for something he’d published. He didn’t return messages, and Trebay refused to comment. But a fellow attendee would: “She’s an ambitious person with a lot of hustle. I would think by celebrity standards she’s fair game. Have you seen her Website?”

Rushdie also refuses to comment on reports that he is taking lessons from Sean Penn on how to handle paparazzi. Continue reading →

Taking pity on the famously sartoriously challenged couple of Prince Charles and Camilla, Bombays dabbawallahs (tiffin carriers) have decided to join their lunch money and get the couple some spiffy threads.

They are pooling money to buy a traditional Indian headdress for Prince Charles and a sari, blouse and bangles for Camilla for their 8 April wedding. It is considered auspicious in Maharashtra state to give a green nine-metre silk sari with a traditional zari border and green bangles to a bride to wish her luck. Zari is a type of thread made of fine gold or silver wire woven into fabrics.[BBC]

Interestingly, while a nine-meter sari may be auspicious, the tiffin carriers have decided to get Camilla one only 2/3rds that length. Is this a snark on her much derided femininity? Desi cheapness coming out? Nope – it’s consideration:

“Camilla may face problems wearing a long sari, so we have decided to gift her a six-metre sari,” says Mr Medge.

No word as to what headdress they’re getting Prince Charles. In the past, Charles had declined to wear a ceremonial turban he was given in Haryana. His staff explained this away by saying that the prefab turban looked silly balancing on top of his ears the Prince didn’t understand the significance of the gift.

How much does it cost to buy a wedding present for the couple that has everything alot, but still less than certain britasians?

The gifts and delivery to Buckingham Palace by courier will set back the tiffin carriers $60 – and most of them will be contributing. The tiffin carriers typically earn anything between $80 and $95 a month. [BBC]

See also: this previous post on the Bombay tiffin carriers. Continue reading →

“For all those who talk about publicity, come here, get your hands dirty. Sleep four hours every night, walk around in the daily sun, run around in this fear of epidemics, come and do it, put your life at risk here. Then we’ll talk.” [CSM]

According to the Christian Science Monitor, Bollywood pretty boy Vivek Oberoi has left Bombay for Devanampattinam where he is taking a hands on approach to Tsunami relief. Instead of simply writing a check, or sending relief supplies south, he’s in the effected area, going house to house, handing out supplies. Continue reading →

Besharam!

A steamy adult movie screened on television sets at the international airport in New Delhi has baffled authorities, who had installed them for entertainment of passengers. “I have conducted preliminary inquiry of staff in the electronics department. They said the movie was part of an AIDS awareness programme,” Indira Gandhi International Airport officiating director Mandeep Lal told the agency on Saturday. The adult film appeared on all television sets installed in the airport, prompting passengers to complain to the authorities. But it was taken off the air only after 20 long minutes.

GASP! Didn’t they get the memo? THERE IS NO SEX IN INDIA! All of those humans come from a highly sophisticated form of Vedic cloning. The Kama Sutra is a trick by Westerners to weaken young, pure, Indians and take their mind off of schooling.

I know what happened. These guys were watching a video, and accidentally tripped a switch and … no?

Lal ruled out the possibility that the staff in the electronic department were clandestinely viewing the adult film in the cable operator’s room without realising it was being screened on all TV sets. “We don’t allow any such things (adult films) to come even near our office,” he said.

Well. Allrighty then. Any ideas?

[Via Amardeep, story from the HT]