Author Archives: Ennis Singh Mutinywale

Keeping up with the Joneses

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There is a more political way in which there is a “tax” on some South Asian names, and that is when it comes to gaining citizenship. We all know that since 9/11 the gap between the political rights of citizens and non-citizens has grown. Now there is another gap that has arisen amongst applicants for citizenship, between those with relatively common and uncommon names:

The first step involves a computerized search of the F.B.I.’s Universal Index of 94.6 million records for all mentions of a name, a close date of birth and a Social Security number. Different permutations of the name are tried, like the first and middle name only. Nearly a third of naturalization cases come back as having a potential match….

“Common names (such as Mohammed, Singh, or Smith) may result in hundreds of potential matches,” government lawyers wrote. “The sheer volume of the requests has also resulted in delays…” [Link]

This cases sit in limbo even as the INS has promised to eradicate its backlog of applications, since they have simply defined these cases as outside its purview. In fact it now

… takes responsibility for fewer than 140,000 of the 1.1 million immigrant applications that it identifies as pending for more than six months. [Link]
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Windy City Aftermath

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I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who made it to the first ever Chicago Meetup! We had roughly 15 macacas in attendance (more than you can see in that photo) of all varieties: ABD, FOB, Active commenters, Quiet Lurkers, etc. We may not have hit 40, Taz, but I’ll bet there’s never been a sweeter, more easy going, more congenial group of people who’ve shown up.

The event hosted itself, I didn’t have to do a thing other than suggest that we order more food. Oh yeah, and this will appeal to the desi mentality – it was cheap, yo! We ended up $35 over when we collected money, and actually had to hand some back.

Great company, tasty food … really, the only thing that went wrong was that I didn’t take enough pictures, and the two I did take (with Ravi’s camera) don’t really capture the energy of the event.

So yes, there will definitely be another Chicago Meetup, but from what people said, maybe we should wait until the spring? And for those lurkers who were too shy to attend – come on in, the water’s fine!

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All religions suck … except Jainism

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Militant atheist Sam Harris has been making quite a stir lately with his best-selling polemics against religion and his in-your-face public appearances:

… [while] debating a former priest before a packed auditorium… he condemns the God of the Old Testament for a host of sins, including support for slavery. He drop-kicks the New Testament, likening the story of Jesus to a fairy tale. He savages the Koran, calling it “a manifesto for religious divisiveness…” [Link]

He goes beyond the usual attacks on fundamentalists to attack moderates for being “enablers” and apologists for more extreme actions:

Religious moderates, Harris says in his patient and imperturbable style, have immunized religion from rational discussion by nurturing the idea that faith is so personal and private that it is beyond criticism, even when horrific crimes are committed in its name. [Link]

He sees all religion as fundamentally dangerous, especially in the post 9/11 world:

… he demonstrates the behavior he believes atheists should adopt when talking with Christians. “Nonbelievers like myself stand beside you,” he writes, addressing his imaginary opponent, “dumbstruck by the Muslim hordes who chant death to whole nations of the living. But we stand dumbstruck by you as well – by your denial of tangible reality, by the suffering you create in service to your religious myths, and by your attachment to an imaginary God…” [Link]

The worst part, Harris says, is this: Because Christians and Jews cling to their “delusions,” they are in no position to criticize Muslims for theirs. And, as he italicizes it in his new book for maximum effect, ” most Muslims are utterly deranged by their religious faith. ” [Italics his] [Link]

Despite his deep and abiding enmity to all religions, he finds one acceptable:

He endorses Jainism, a religion-philosophy from India that finds God in the unchanging traits of the human soul. But everyone who organizes his or her life around an ancient text that purports to convey the words and sentiments of God — Harris would like you to surrender your prayers, history and traditions. You are welcome to check out Jainism, but Harris recommends that you accept his conclusion, which is that we live in a universe without God. Deal with it. [Link]
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Chicago Meetup Reminder

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Beans but not bean on Devon Ave, I know.

There will be a meetup this Saturday, 2PM at Udupi Palace on Devon Ave.

I’m really looking forward to meeting our midwestern readers this Saturday! We shifted the date from last saturday to accommodate both Diwali and people’s schedules. I really hope this date works for people since I am shlepping my kundi a reasonable distance in the hope of meeting y’all.

Gamemaster-G9, Ravi, Ashvin, Dasichist, Chicago Brownie, Chi-Diva, Masale.Wallah, Ravneet, Windy City, “new to chicago” and others – I expect to see you all there, especially if you said this was the better time for you.

This is going to be our first meetup that isn’t on one of the coasts. A healthy turnout will ensure future Chicago meetups, which hopefully is a good thing

Everybody is welcome, commentors, lurkers, people who are just curious … whatever!

Please RSVP by Friday Noon in the comments (Chicago time, of course) so that I can make reservations!

Previous posts: Chicago meetup 10/28? [Was 10/21]

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I see brown people

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You know how sometimes you just get … browned out to the point where everything you see has some sort of desi connection? Well, it happens to those not of the subcontinent as well. Here’s what happened to Saheli’s friend ToastyKen:

Not Aishwarya

While I was driving, I caught a glimpse of this Gap ad in a bus shelter. “DESI(RED).” I immediately assumed it was pun on the words “desired” and “desi”. I only got a brief look as I sped by, so I figured it was a Desi model in the picture. (“Was that Aishwarya Rai?”)

“Hm,” I thought. “I didn’t realize the word ‘Desi’ was so mainstream now. Maybe they’re trying to project a multicultural marketing message or something?” But I didn’t really think that hard about it. [Link]

Of course, it’s not Aishwarya, it’s Penelope Cruz. And it’s neither an appeal for brownbucks nor a critique of socialist influences in “I love Lucy”, it’s part of the new (product)red branding exercise / fundraiser “designed to Help Eliminate AIDS in Africa.” It has nothing to do with us, even though we like to imagine that everything does. It’s purely a koinkydink.

As an aside, while I often find myself defending Bono, in this case I agree with the conservative critic Michael Medved’s opinion of the campaign (assuming he’s correct):

… [Medved] called the campaign a “scam” because, he wrote, it is merely an excuse for companies “to jack up their prices on ordinary merchandise to ridiculous levels, and not all the difference in price is actually going to the charity…” [Link]
I’m afraid I’m too desi (i.e. cheap) to buy in. I’d rather buy the regular gear and send a check for the excess directly to the charity of my choice without having the Gap or whoever skim its percentage. To me, that’s the desi and desi(red) way of donating.

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Happy Diwali

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In my obliviousness, I almost scheduled a meetup today. [Is it my fault that I celebrated Hanukkah more than Diwali as a kid?] To atone for this earlier oversight, therefore, I bring you the official Diwali greeting from the government of Canada:

“On behalf of Canada’s new government, I would like to extend my warmest greetings and best wishes to members of the Indo-Canadian community as you celebrate Diwali… Every year, this joyous occasion is celebrated by some one billion people of the Hindu, Sikh and Jain faiths around the world. And that includes some one million of our fellow citizens right here in Canada. Friends, as you gather with your loved ones amid a sea of flickering flames, please know that the thoughts of our government are with you. Over the years, the Indo-Canadian community has made a tremendous contribution to our great country. Your work ethic and commitment to family and community serve as an inspiration to all…Happy Diwali to all. Namaste. Sat Sri Akal. Thank you.” [Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada]

Why Canada? Well, Ottawa is closer to North Dakota than Washington DC is, but mainly it’s because Google News brought it to my attention, whereas I had to go rooting around for the American counterpart.

Not to be outdone by their neighbors up north, the White House celebrated Diwali with a party for the fourth year running, although Bush was away and so sent a written greeting instead. Here’s a description of the event:

The White House celebrated Diwali, the festival of lights, in the historic Indian Treaty Room in the Old Executive Building for the fourth successive year. More than 150 guests were in attendance, among them many prominent members of the Indian American community. President George W Bush, who was busy campaigning for his besieged Republican Party in Pennsylvania and Virginia, however failed to be there.

Under Secretary for Public Diplomacy Karen Hughes keynoted the event as chief guest, and Jay Hein, Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of the Office of the Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, lit the diya. [Link]

BTW, I’m pretty sure that’s the “Native American treaty room” and not the “Brownz treaty room” but I’ll take what we can get especially since Diwali did not merit an official proclamation unlike “Leif Erikson Day, 2006“, “General Pulaski Memorial Day, 2006“, “Gold Star Mother’s Day, 2006” or “National Character Counts Week, 2006“. But who am I to complain – the White House at least knew when Diwali is!

Related posts: A stamp of approval, White House celebrates Diwali, In Barbie’s Closet

UPDATE:

I realize I may not have been clear enough about this originally. The President was unable to attend Diwali celebrations at the White House in part because he was campaigning for Senator Allen’s re-election bid:

President Bush last week helped raise money in two of the year’s most controversial re-election campaigns, stumping for Republican Rep. Don Sherwood in Pennsylvania and Sen. George Allen in Virginia. [Link]

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Rajarshi "Tito" Mukhopadhyay

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Until recently, most of what I knew about autism came from Rain Man. I was surprised to learn, therefore, that a desi is one of the most famous people with autism in the world. Tito is rare – he is both highly autistic and highly articulate. He can explain himself and his behaviors to doctors, thus providing a window into a condition that is still poorly understood:

Born and raised in India, Tito speaks English with a huge vocabulary. His articulation is poor, and he is often hard to understand. But he writes eloquently and independently, on pads or his laptop, about what it feels like to be locked inside an autistic body and mind…

“I’ve seen Tito sit in front of an audience of scientists and take questions from the floor,” said … an autism expert at Cambridge University. ”He taps out intelligent, witty answers on a laptop with a voice synthesizer. No one is touching him. He communicates on his own.”… [Link]

Tito is one of the most famous individuals with autism in the world, perhaps even more famous than Dr. Temple Grandin:

Several of his poems were published in the National Geographic, the New York Times and Scientific American have published feature stories on him, and BBC has aired an Inside Story documentary about him. His book, Beyond the Silence, which contain writings from when he was between eight and eleven years old, covers the first part of his life story and a special selection of his philosophical texts that were featured on BBC. [Link]

In fact, he’s so prolific that I’m surprised he doesn’t have a blog:

”I need to write,” he said recently, scrawling the words on a yellow pad. ”It has become part of me. I am waiting to get famous.”… [Link]
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Chris Omprakash Sharma, America’s top climber

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Chris Sharma is the best rock climber in America, and probably the best sport climber in the world:

When he completed his long-time project Realization in Ceuse, France in 2001, the route was arguably the hardest in the world…

Sharma [has] won the World Cup of Climbing, [but] it was later recalled after he tested positive for THC, although THC is not a performance enhancing drug. He returned the cup. [Link]

Sharma has continuously pushed the limits of the sport, climbing routes more difficult than virtually anybody else:

Chris Sharma, the 24-year-old monkey boy who in 2001 introduced the world to 5.15 climbing (the sport’s hardest grade), recently cobbled together a new boulder problem, across the roof of an Ozarks cave, that some say is one of the hardest lines ever completed. [Link]

I got really excited when I first heard his name. This guy who climbs like a mountain macaca … could his name really be Krishna Omprakash Sharma? I mean, that pot thing is so Harold & Kumar.

Nope. Despite his desi middle and last names, he’s neither [racially] desi nor hadesi, he’s actually a hidesi [desi with either Hippie or Hindu convert parents]. His parents are disciples of Baba Hari Dass, “who has not spoken since 1952 and communicates by writing on a small chalkboard.” Continue reading →

Gregor Samsa Singh

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This morning, while I was tying my turban, I was thinking about All Mixed Up’s postcard from a few weeks back. In particular, I was trying to figure out why I didn’t understand the basic conundrum that people were wrestling with… that is, why I couldn’t imagine that being white would make me like everybody else.

Let me explain with a Gedankenexperiment. Imagine that I, as a teenager, had awoken one morning to find that myself a person of pallor. I was now pink rather than brown. Who would I be?

I would like to think that I would be the guy on the left. To be honest, I was never as cool as he was. I never dressed like a Nihang, nor did I travel around India at that age. Still, I’d like to think that’s who my white doppleganger in an alternate universe would have been, even if I had been dorkier.

Now imagine that a decade later, the machine that had transformed me reversed polarity, flooding me with extra melanin. Perhaps this is my melanin plus a decade of interest. Or perhaps it is sucked from somewhere else – from some other poor soul who wakes up paler than when they slept. It doesn’t matter.

Now, all of a sudden, I’m not white but black. In this case, I’d like to think that I would be like Sri Chand Singh on the right. Sri Chand is not a convert – he (and his twin brother) have been Sikhs their whole lives. Again, I doubt I’d ever be as cool as either of them [Look at the photo of Laxmi Chand beating the Nagara drum below the fold for a photo of a supercool Sikh], but I hope I would try.

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