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Maybe a DC Meetup This SUNDAY? [Updated]

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Meetup Madness at Amma.jpg

[Instead of Saturday at noon, the meetup will be on SUNDAY at 12:30. It is still at Amma. Please be noting date and time change– thanks. :)]

But first, a rushed write-up of what went down last time:

  • Icebreaker: The battle of the Jessicas- who is hotter, Alba or Biel? There were two poultry-submitted abstentions.
  • Adorable Munish changed his vote when he realized he was, in fact, supporting an Alumna of Seventh Heaven: “I thought you meant the woman from Flashdance!”
  • Once we started playing, “Who has the tiniest apt” after one of you suggested having meetups in our homes, Jay said we should have used THAT as the icebreaker—“Hi, I’m ___ and I have 400 sq ft!”
  • It was the reverse of our college years– Southies Reprazent!
  • There was a minor TamBrahm crisis when we discovered that Amma had run out of vada, for the first time in nine years.
  • I was smacked. Thrice. By our waiter. You can’t put a price on that kind of abuse.
  • Two of the above three spankings occurred as THIRTEEN more people than the sixteen we expected showed.
  • Once we ran out of table space: “Start sitting on laps. Sigh. I guess I’ll begin.” Plop.
  • What is UP with the lack of RSVPing, meetup-crashers: “This isn’t a wedding, people!”
  • Murthy’s Law: Next time, we should reserve the entire restaurant. That way no one will show.
  • We actually had to turn people away, for lack of space. 🙁
  • Can’t make it to the bathroom to wash your hands? Use the “Indian Faucet” a.k.a. a poorly-approximated finger bowl via drinking glass
  • Subcontinental Drift (we love you!)‘s MySpace page might induce seizures.
  • Me to Jay (of the blog Weaselplasty) “All our friends are apparently stand-up comics (and they performed at SD)”
  • Said one, “Tortoise porn is available on YouTube.” Said the Terp, all dismissively, “I know about THAT”, as the rest of us exhibited the proper reaction to that statement, which is shock and horror.
  • One attendee confessed that while this meetup was fabulous, they had “hobbit envy” about Houston.
  • Library Science: it gets no respect
  • Second Best line of the meetup: “Why are men always giving me money and then leaving?”
  • A Tamil girl who was raised in Bombay tried to reconcile her identities by saying…she was like a “paneer dosa”
  • Paneer Dosa has said she will be at the June meetup; that way you can mock her for her metaphor in person! 😉
  • I ordered two Salt Lassis and four Madras Kappis.  I received ONE Madras Kappi.
  • Lemon Rice for me, dosas for EVERYONE ELSE
  • Best line of the meetup: “Your picture on Shaadi.com was so much better!”
  • More on Sunny Leone and the greatness of snuff films.
  • Despite our most obnoxious attempts to be porntastic in order to clear the restaurant, so more of us could be seated, the packed place wasn’t bothered at all by our antics. Contrast this with Heritage India, where we sent them screaming out the door. It would appear that South Indian families are immune to our offensiveness. 🙂

Now, after reading the merriment-filled minutes of our last meetup, who feels like getting together again for more? 🙂 I’m craving dosa and you, well, after I published this post, I learned that you are ALL craving dosa, ALL the time.

WHERE: Amma’s Vegetarian Kitchen, 3291 M St. NW, Washington, DC 20007, 202-625-6625

WHEN: SUNDAY, JULY 1. 12:30 PM.

WHY: Because you nosy little monkeys want to pepper me for non-existant gossip about the Mutiny.

Think of it as a post-Subcontinental Drift “survivors’ brunch”. Kill your hangover with Madras Kappi and Rasam! 😀

::

As for New York…Maybe mid-late July? 🙂

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San Francisco? End of August, we’ll keep you posted. Continue reading →

Sensually Flawed (But We Know It)

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Yay, more Kama Sutra.jpg

Look what I found in my GMail this morning!

The Dance of the Kama Sutra
Get this sensual dance fitness video two months before it’s available anywhere else. [Borders]

I hate wincing before I’ve had my morning kappi. When I went to get my normal small-drip-with-egregious-space-for-cream, I sighed and said, “make it a large”. I need all the energy I can get to deal with potential exotification.

Here’s what I discovered about the sensual fitness video which will be released on July 31:

Follow-up to the fun, top-selling Bollywood Dance Workout; Offers a unique workout with sacred sensual moves for your body and soul
Acacia announces the July 31, 2007 DVD release of Dance of the Kama Sutra with Hemalayaa, offering an exciting new program using meditation and playful movements from Indian dance to help women cultivate their sensuality.
The Kama Sutra, an ancient Indian text, promotes the cultivation of sensuality as a sacred duty. The need to cultivate and reconnect with our sensual selves—the goddess at the core of every woman—remains as strong as ever, but the din and rush of modern life make the opportunities all too rare. Through playful movements and heart-centered meditation, yogini and Indian Dance expert Hemalayaa takes you on a journey of discovery. Find the freedom and fullness of expression that come from embracing yourself and your body, just as you are. Join Hemalayaa, creator of The Bollywood Dance Workout, in a dance of love and laughter that instills confidence, joy, and poise. Gesture by gesture, swish by swish, we remember that we are—and have always been—divine dancers. [link]

Swish by swish, even!

The “ick” was at a roiling boil within and I cynically wondered who was behind this project…and yes, it’s true, I did not think it was someone brown. Just who was Hemalayaa?

Hemalayaa teaches yoga and Indian dance in Los Angeles and offers frequent workshops and retreats around the world. The daughter of Indian parents, Hema’s yoga training began at home at an early age, and she went on to study yoga, philosophy, and meditation as well as asana. Hema’s in-depth study and practice of classical Indian dance informs how she teaches yoga. A life devoted to yoga and dance animates Hemalayaa’s playful spirit. Many of her retreats and workshops culminate in a night of dance. Hema loves turning her students on to the vibrant styles of Indian dance, from the classical to the latest moves from Bollywood, bhangra, and Indian MTV. [link]

Oh, snap. She is desi. And I’m uber-fond of people named Hema, too. I felt vaguely ashamed, because I was aware of how I had immediately cut her a bit of slack which I clearly wouldn’t have extended to someone unbrown. I am teh suck. The flawed, biased suck. At least I know it, right?

What now? My exoti-dar was still going off, though it had been significantly muted. Should I be happy that homeslice was doing her thang? Or was it okay to cringe, at the title and over the audience this was intended for, if the demographic I was imagining was accurate? What’s your take? Continue reading →

Another, More Tragic Namesake

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…women are more likely to be killed at home by their spouse, ex-boyfriend, or some other intimate… [link]

That statistic was made in reference to this country, but I think I’ll be forgiven for wondering if it is applicable everywhere. SM reader 3rd Eye submitted a story to our News tab; it does not have a happy ending. It involves a couple named Shah Jahan and Mumtaz, though this Mumtaz wasn’t anywhere near as adored as her namesake.

Shah Jahan Ali, in his late forties, has been arrested on the charge of murdering his wife after he found her drinking with two young men at home late last night.
Neighbours at Dinhata’s Village I, who often joked about the couple’s names, said Shah Jahan suspected the comely, 30-year-old Mumtaz of cheating on him.
The murdered woman had one thing in common, though, with the Mughal queen remembered with the world’s most famous monument to love. Neither was born Mumtaz, both being given that name by their doting husbands. [link]

The victim, a divorcee, was born “Khaimala Roy”. She received her new name after converting to Islam, to marry Shah Jahan, her second husband. He sounds like a real catch:

The already married man would spent some five days a week with Mumtaz at Village I and the remaining two days with his first wife in Navina.
“I knew Mumtaz was a woman of loose morals. Still, I fell in love with her. I had told her there will be no affairs, but she didn’t listen,” Shah Jahan is believed to have told the police.
Yesterday, the youths had fled at the sight of him and the couple had then quarrelled through the night. The police said that in the early hours, Shah Jahan slit Mumtaz’s throat. [link]

Then, he went to his first wife’s home, where he was caught after Mumtaz’s family reported the heinous crime.

Shah Jahan punched a sub-inspector and tried to flee. After the police caught him, the villagers gheraoed the force and tried to free him. [link]

Can I get a hearty “WTF” for that last, bolded bit? I know, I know…a woman’s life is worth so little, especially when she smells like dishonor.

In case you didn’t know about the original Mumtaz:

Empress Mumtaz, whose real name was Arjumand Banu, too, was Shah Jahan’s second wife and the favourite among the nine he ultimately married. They lived in wedded bliss for 19 years before the 38-year-old Mumtaz, while delivering her 14th child, died in 1631. [link]

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Off Topic (and yet not, considering this suddenly bookish thread): I liked Mumtaz until I read The Feast of Roses. Then I found her annoying. Nur Jahan, all the way. Continue reading →

Rani Mukherjee to Marry…Some Guy

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oooh, DRAMA.JPG

…random men everywhere who aren’t Aish/Bips/Shabana-devotees gnash their teeth and shake their fists at the sky impotently. Or not.

Oooooh, DRAMA! An anonymous tipster leaves juicy news on the…well, news tab (via SAWF):

Bollywood star Rani Mukerhee, 29, is all set to marry film maker Aditya Chopra, 36, son of Yash Raj Chopra. A commitment ceremony or “Roka” was held Monday at the Chopra bungalow in Bombay.
A source close to the family told the Hindustan Times: “The roka took place at the same Chopra bungalow where Chandni was shot. Around 60 people (family and friends) attended the ceremony that included Rani’s parents Ram and Krishna Mukherjee, brother Raja and his wife. Present from the Chopra clan were brother Uday, dad Yash Chopra and mum Pamela Chopra.”

Awww, that’s so cute! My last two german shepherds, who were litter-mates, were also named Raja and Rani. And no, I didn’t name them, so shut up.

“Rani wore a maroon saari with silver embroidery and Aditya wore a kurta-pyjama, both designed by designer Pallavi Jaikishan. Pam aunty didn’t seem very happy, as she has a soft corner for Adi’s ex-wife, Payal. Another function will take place at Rani’s house next week,” the source added.

Why do I care, when I am a clue-free Mallu ABCD who has gone on record as not paying attention to Bollywood? Because it’s JUICY. Duh.

Aditya was recently divorced from Payal Chopra, whom he married in 2001.

Ah, so THAT is why anonymous tipster namechecked Angelina Jolie! Apparently, Rani is a homewrecker, but my half- third- quarter-hearted googling found nothing. If the girl Big B got creepy with in KKKG really did break up this guy’s marriage, I’m sure one of you will edify us with confirmation of such sordid details.

According to the Mumbai Mirror, Aditya’s decision to divorce Payal, who is the daughter of a close friend of father Yash Raj, has strained relations between the father and son.

I can’t be the only one thinking…all this would make a great Bollywood movie? Life imitates art…? Annnnnd, I’m bored again. Who wants to talk about Obama, caste or saffron balls? Anyone? Continue reading →

How Now Brown Voters?

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Amardeep’s earlier post on memo-gate rightly inspired a lot of passionate discussion on this site; many of us, whether we were massively disappointed or merely mildly surprised, expressed a strong interest in what the Senator’s reaction to it all might be. For the four of you who haven’t already received this in your inbox, we have our answer (via SAFO):

Senator Barack Obama’s Response to the Indian American Community
Dear Friends,
On Monday, June 18, Senator Barack Obama issued the following statement in response to the concerns expressed by the Indian American community regarding the Hillary Clinton opposition research memo. Senator Obama personally requested that we distribute this letter to the entire SAFO community:
I wanted to respond personally to the concerns you expressed regarding the recent research memo that our campaign put into circulation.
I believe that your concerns with the memo are justified. To begin with, the memo did not reflect my own views on the importance of America’s relationship with India. I have long believed that the best way to promote U.S. economic growth and opportunity for American workers is to continually improve the skills of our own workforce and invest in our own scientific research, technological capacity and infrastructure, rather than to try to insulate ourselves from the global economy.
More importantly, the memo’s caustic tone, and its focus on contributions by Indian-Americans to the Clinton campaign, was potentially hurtful, and as such, unacceptable. The memo also ignored my own long-standing relationship to – and support from – the Indian-American community.
In sum, our campaign made a mistake. Although I was not aware of the contents of the memo prior to its distribution, I consider the entire campaign – and in particular myself – responsible for the mistake. We have taken appropriate action to prevent errors like this from happening in the future.
Please feel free to share this letter with other members of your organization or leaders in the Indian-American community. I look forward to our continued friendship and exchange of ideas – during the course of this campaign, and beyond.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama

Hmmm. I had to read it a second time, to find the answer to the burning question in my mind, namely what, if any action was taken against the person who did the hit job. Once again, for the cheap seats and the distracted:

We have taken appropriate action to prevent errors like this from happening in the future.

What is “appropriate action”? According to a fresh article from the chocolate post:

The campaign said the new policy is to ensure that senior staff will review materials before they are distributed publicly. [WaPo]

Now THAT is a brilliant idea.

So, what do you think? Is the candidate’s response good enough? Not enough? Should we dismiss it as lip service? Is Barack back in your good graces? Continue reading →

“Dutch” isn’t veg-friendly.

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calculate this.jpg I love reading real newspapers on the weekends (since all I have time for is Express during the week). While lazing through the New York Times this afternoon, I found this six week old “T: Style” article which made me smile, after the conversation I had yesterday with a mutineer…

me: How was dinner?

she: Can I vent?

me: But of course, my little cabbage!

she: I got robbed.

me: OMG, you got mugged???

she: Noooo. I mean…when the bill came.

me: I don’t get it.

she: Of course you do, you’re veg, too.

me: Oh, THAT-a-way

she: Yes. That. A. Way. Not a damned vegetarian entree on the menu AND everyone I was with obviously ordered seafood– not just any seafood…the market-rate stuff.

me: Ah, that which has no price listed.

she: EXACTLY!

me: Ouch.

she: That’s not even the worst of it! You know how I don’t drink??

me: Yeah…?

she: Well, everyone else more than made up for it. 3-4 each.

me: Wow, so you-

she: Subsidized a bunch of fish and vodka. What I ordered came to all of $25 WITH tax and a 20% tip…what I PAID was $72.

me: Sigh. Well, you made the birthday girl happy by being there.

she: True. But, I COULD HAVE GIVEN HER THE $50. Then she’d be happy and I wouldn’t feel so damned ripped-off.

Stop smirking, dear readers. You know you’ve had that EXACT conversation with one of your friends. Half the brown people in Amreeka are Guju* and plenty of them are Jain. 🙂 Quit acting like you are unaware of the plight of the put-upon veggie:

Do birthday parties held in restaurants give you a palm-dampening, heart-palpitating anxiety attack? You’re not alone…
It’s not that we don’t wish many happy returns to B. P. — now blushing in thanks or dashing abashedly to the powder room — really, we do. It’s the guy two chairs down who ordered the foie gras appetizer, Dover sole entree, side of truffled mashed potatoes and three martinis made with designer gin whom we never want to see again.
“Vegetarians always get screwed at these things,” rightly groused a paralegal who is tired of subsidizing other people’s steak frites.

Continue reading →

55Friday: The “One Sentence Story” Edition

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I hadn’t logged in to my del.icio.us for a while; when I did so today, one of the “popular” links on the main page caught my eye.

One Sentence – True stories, told in one sentence. [link]

Since I’m the resident doyenne of fast fiction (ironic, innit?), I was predictably and immediately interested.

As soon as I thought, “This might be fun for 55Friday,” your torment was assured. Last week, we had as many haikus as we did examples of nanofiction, so I know you like to change things up a bit. Oh, and to those who wondered out loud why we do this writing-thing/expressed how you’d like to see less of these posts on SM, I have three things to type:

1) Others actually love what you dislike.

2) It’s a tradition! We’re desi, we love rituals and routines!

3) As one of you put it in a very kind email:

I noticed that you haven’t posted a 55Friday topic in a while. I hope you didn’t discontinue it. I love 55Friday because it’s the only time during the week when I’m creative. One day a week, I get to feel like I’m living up to that ever-present new year’s resolution to “write more”, so please bring it back if you can.

So, please ignore this if it doesn’t have any effect on your knickers and move on to something which will– and that’s solid advice for every post you wrinkle your cute little nose at, not just 55Fridays.

Okay, back to one-sentence wonders. The most significant difference between this and our typical 55s? These are supposed to be true, real, non-fiction. I chose a few from the site, to inspire you and help demonstrate what to do. Most of these were plucked from the “Best of” section.

I don’t wish that I had Jesse’s girl…why did he find a woman like this:

Jesse
She’s ruined half of my music library for me.

Since these are true stories, this one made my heart crack:

zot
I am heart-sick because, like many parents of children with profound disabilities, my most secret and unspoken prayer is “Dear God, please let me outlive my child.”

This (since they’re supposed to be true!) is just wrong 🙂

Adam
The pedestrian looked concerned, as he bounced off the bonnet of my car.

Continue reading →

How to Save A Life in DC + NYC — UPDATED

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Remember Vinay? I blogged about him because he direly needs a bone marrow transplant and his best chance at finding a match lies with us. Unsurprisingly, several of you said you would step up and get swabbed, if only you had the opportunity to do so. Well, after throwing more meetups than any other mutineer, I know for a fact that DC has a TON of SM readers– now make good on your word to help.

You can even do so TODAY— look:

* * *
THURSDAY, JUNE 14 – DOWNTOWN D.C.
4:30p to 7:30p
Asian American Justice Center
1140 Connecticut Ave., NW, Suite 1200
Washington, DC
Contact: DCdonorDrive@aol.com or Rachna at (202) 256-4326

Can’t make it? Live in the burbs? Try these:

* * *
SATURDAY, JUNE 16 – LANHAM, MD
10:30a to 3:30p
Sri Shiva Vishnu Temple
6905 Cipriano Rd.
Lanham, MD
Contact: Aditya at aditya.raghavendra@gmail.com or (617) 872-0081
* * *
SUNDAY, JUNE 17 – BALTIMORE, MD
9:30a to 5:00p
Greater Baltimore Temple
2909 Bloom Rd.
Finksburg, MD
Contact: Seema at indiaseema@hotmail.com or (949) 291-2545

5:45 PM UPDATE–

* * *

Jane says (she’s done with Sergio) that a NEW YORK Drive commences in 15 minutes;

Hey in NYC tonite as well….
Public House
141 East 41st St (between Lexington and Third Avenues), New York, NY
Thursday, June 14, 6:00pm to 10:00pm

One of our longtime readers lost a parent to this tragic disease last week. Some of you know whom I’m referring to and if you haven’t already given a little bit of yourself, maybe this message from their family will move you:

In lieu of flowers, please help save a life and register with the national bone marrow registry or get someone else to register (www.marrow.org).

How many people whom we know and love must we lose before you register? Continue reading →

A Macaca Teaching Moment

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three adorable mini-bandars.JPG

SM readers Kabes and Sriram let us know that the NRSC (National Republican Senatorial Committee) have made weak Lemon Drops out of the lemons they received from the stupendously-awful erstwhile Senator from Virginia, George Allen. Allen, if you have been in a coma, tried to get re-elected last year. He had a great chance– until he dissed a desi and was outted for the bigot he is. Losing bad. Winning good. To that end:

The Macaca moment has morphed into an official learning tool for the Republican establishment.
It’s right there, on pages 18 and 22 of an Internet guide from the National Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee that its chairman, Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.), hopes will become scripture for the 2008 candidates…
The guidebook, 39 pages long and distributed last week to GOP Senate campaigns, underscores attempts by Republicans to level the Web-based playing field after Democrats, in Ensign’s view, leveraged their Internet savvy into electoral wins. Republicans remain almost haunted by their 2006 missteps, particularly the way the macaca incident exposed chasms in their new media campaign strategy.

Two years after their peers across the aisle recognized the need to reach out to and monitor online communications, the G.O.P. are having a “Eureka!” moment:

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” said Matthew Miller, spokesman for the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. “I’m glad the NRSC discovered the Internet in 2007.” [Politico]

And discover they did. The guide tackles YouTube (predictable), MySpace (porntastic), Facebook (yeah, that’s just creepy) and it urges candidates to make like Oprah and get personal, especially on a video blog (does anyone use the term “vlog”??). With the alacrity of a sloth, the G.O.P. have realized that rather than merely consider the “internets” a punchline to an anti-Gore joke, they need to wake up to Web 2.0.

DCist doesn’t think that the guide gets it at all:

But the real problem is that the “macaca” moment is hardly a “paradigmatic example” of the need for an “early warning system.” The “macaca” moment is a paradigmatic example of the need to not run candidates whose disturbing racial worldviews lead them to say crazy-ass things that make ordinary voters feel all sick to their soul. To say nothing of not running candidates who think their magic football will distract people from finding out that they are cornpone douchebags. [DCist]

I consummately agree.

You know, I could have saved the NRSC a ton of trouble and time. Instead of 39 pages of Allen-inspired instructions, try these five magical words; be ye not an idiot. The world is watching and the blogs are buzzing. Today, there is no mercy for the stupid. Continue reading →

What the Hell IS This?

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SM Reader and Hanuman-bhakt Tiger Yogi emailed us a tip this morning, about an absurdly named product: wtf, mate.jpg

A company by the name of Smart Mark Video is selling a DVD of something called “independent wrestling” entitled “Wicked Hanuman“!!

Smart Mark, which offers “… only the best in Independent Wrestling!”, markets videos of Independent Wrestling Syndicate events. What is the IWS? I had no clue, so I foraged virtually:

International Wrestling Syndicate (IWS) is a professional wrestling promotion based out of Montreal, Quebec, Canada. It is co-owned, half by Manny Elefthriou aka “PCP Crazy F’N” Manny , who also sometimes wrestles for the promotion, and half by Wild Rose Productions, an amateur internet pornography company that is run by Montreal-native pornstar Carol Cox. The IWS was formerly known as the Internet Wrestling Syndicate and before that as the World Wrestling Syndicate.
IWS is known for its high energy and new young talent possessing a variety of styles, including brawling, comedy wrestling, high-flying, strong style and technical submission wrestling. They usually feature some deathmatch style wrestling matches at their shows, such as “fans bring the weapons” matches, which are a popular attraction at one of their biggest shows of the year, “Un F’N Sanctioned”. [viki]

Okay, I’m still not entirely clear on what all this is about, mostly because my brain shuts off whenever it sees the word “wrestling”, but given everything we’ve read so far, why on earth would you name a product after a sweetly loyal Vanara? Are the stars of the video inquisitive, short, furry, South Indian humanoids? Doubtful. Also doubtful? That anyone involved with this Charlie Foxtrot is either Hindu or knows anything about revered characters from the Ramayana.

Some of you incorrectly think that I am all for mocking Hinduism, but that is not true. At best, I find this ridiculous and at worst, I’m offended. Let me pre-emptively answer your question: no, I would not appreciate a “Wicked John the Baptist!!!” DVD. I wouldn’t advocate violence or otherwise behave in a way which threatens the possibility of getting my point across, but I think calmly-expressed disagreement is more than called-for in situations like this.

I wish people could be sensitive and respectful of all religions, I think tolerance is a matter of courtesy vs. a granola ideal. To that end, I’m emailing less-than-Smart Mark to let them know what I think. I know that within minutes, you’re going to let me know what YOU think, via the comments. Continue reading →