Booker ’em, Dano

There are a few authors (Salman Rushdie, Vikram Chandra, Zadie Smith, Michael Ondaatje) who rock so hard, I devour their entire canon in weeks and wait impatiently for the latest installment. Fortunately, I’m not alone. The manly Booker committee just long listed both Rushdie and Smith, author of the Bangla-friendly White Teeth, for their upcoming books.

Amardeep previously pointed us to Amitava Kumar’s review of Shalimar the Clown, whose launch has been moved up to Sep. 6. Writing in the Atlantic Monthly, Christopher Hitchens reads the novel as political science tract, comparing Kashmir to Palestine. It’s reportedly a glowing review (only the intro is online) penned by Hitch for his longtime buddy:

Take the room-temperature op-ed article that you have read lately, or may be reading now, or will scan in the future. Cast your eye down as far as the sentence that tells you there will be no terminus to Muslim discontent until there has been a solution to the problem of Palestine. Take any writing implement that comes to hand, strike out the word “Palestine,” and insert “Kashmir…”

If anything calamitous in the thermonuclear line does occur in the next few years, it is most probable that Kashmir will be the trigger. Moreover, it was the lakes and valleys and mountains of Kashmir that made the crucible in which the Pakistan–Taliban–al-Qaeda “faith-based” alliance was originally formed. The bitterest and longest battle between Islamic jihad and its foes is a struggle not between jihad and the West, or jihad and the Jews, but between jihad and Hindu/secular India. It is a matter not of East versus West but of East versus East. [Link]

I know this from a little study and also from a visit to the Pakistani-held side of Kashmir, where I was reminded that although human beings will always fight over even the most arid and desolate prizes, there are some places so humblingly beautiful that it is possible to imagine dying for them oneself. Salman Rushdie knows it in his core: he is Kashmiri by family… [Link]

The Village Voice is turned off by the degree to which Shalimar plumbs the senseless grief of militant violence:

The events of Rushdie’s life are allegory for the unavoidable world-historical collision between rootless cosmopolitanism and theocratic absolutism, between civilization (with its values of secularism, skepticism, and relativism) and the gathering forces of a new medievalism. His greatest novels–Midnight’s Children, Shame, The Satanic Verses, and The Moor’s Last Sigh–percolate around just this kind of conflict, as India, or some subset of the subcontinent, tears itself apart. Rushdie repeatedly returns to the primal scene of a paradise squandered…

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Karan Arjun

Desis seem to like sports played on lush pitches involving hitting balls with sticks at high speed. Arjun Atwal is the first Indian golfer in the PGA Championships (thanks, Vikram):

India’s Arjun Atwal will become the first Indian to compete in the US PGA Championships, traditionally the year’s fourth and final golf Major, when he tees up at the Lower course at Balsturol Golf Club on Thursday… Atwal… would be playing in his first Major of the season and the second of his career…

Other Indians to have played the Majors are Jyoti Randhawa, three times at the British Open, Gaurav Ghei once at British Open and Jeev Milkha Singh, once at the US Open… Indo-Swede Daniel Chopra played and made the cut at the British Open last month. [Link]

The way he got there makes the word ‘wildcard’ seem inadequate:

… Atwal and his bride Ritika headed back to their home in Orlando, Fla. Thusly relocated, Atwal was nearby and available when the Bell South Classic called to say it had an opening for him because torrential rains in Georgia had caused so many players to withdraw that they were down to him, the 23rd alternate. [Link]

Yet he seized his lucky break and did wonders with it:

All Atwal did was make it into a five-man playoff. Phil Mickelson won it. But at the age of 32, Atwal had the best finish of his fledgling PGA career… He has made the cut in all 12 PGA events he has entered, finishing in the top 10 three times.. Atwal has made $802,881 this year… [Link]

Atwal has a typically peripatetic history:

… Atwal took up golf at the age of fourteen, playing at the Royal Calcutta Golf Club (which was founded in 1829 and is one of the oldest golf clubs outside the United Kingdom). He also spent two years at school in the United States. [Link]

Not that he ever dwelled upon the uniqueness of his background – from learning the game on the 175-year-old Royal Calcutta links to moving to Long Island at age 15 to be with his brother, Govind, who had a hearing impairment and was sent to the United States for educational reasons. [Link]

Related posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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Hollywood/Bollywood

The giant, shiny flying phallus of American cultural export parks its hairy business end in Bombay next year (via Desi Flavor):

The first Planet Hollywood will open in Mumbai in 2006 and muscular superstars Sly Stallone and Bruce Willis will be flying down for the occasion… Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Goa and Hyderabad [are] the destinations of choice. [Link]

Selling cowburgers and crappy food: it’s the ideal business plan for India  Actually, people are just as Hollystruck as Bollystruck, and you’ll notice they send out the action stars to overseas destinations — Rambo and Die Hard, with their limited dialogue, are amenable to cheap translation. Indian restaurants have decked themselves in Bollywood memorabilia for ages. And if there’s one culture that has an unironic affinity for kitsch

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Pancholy and Talai make ‘Comebacks’

Actors Maulik Pancholy (Raoul in Hitch) and Amir Talai (Legally Blonde 2) appear Wednesday night at 10:30pm ET on an episode of the HBO series The Comeback. This photo is on the front page of the show’s Web site right now.

The Comeback is a Lisa Kudrow show-within-a-show about a washed-up sitcom actor trying to land a role on something very much like Friends. I love these high-funda, Russian doll plots in theater, but on TV it’s usually an excuse for refried writing.

Some comments from Hollywood Masala (thanks, Kiran):

Amir and Maulik are on this weeks episode #9 on the HBO series. They will also be on episode #11 a couple of weeks later…

… Maulik appeared in the Sunday New York Times for a full page ad for ESPN…

[Pancholy] will also be seen in the off-off-Broadway play India Awaiting

Pancholy’s been around the TV circuit with parts on Charmed, Felicity, Jack & Jill, Law & Order: CI and Weeds. Talai is Iranian-American (thanks, thalassamikra) and plays desi characters on both The Comeback and Gilmore Girls. Check out his photos on set — doesn’t his high forehead remind you of Bronson Pinchot?

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Posted in TV

The poll poll

should we do a reader poll?
 
Yes: Thanggod! I want to know whether readers are veatish, own a pet monkey or listen to Cornershop
No: Na ji na, it’ll lead to dismissing commenters with snarky, inaccurate labels, which nobody ever does now

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The gestalt of Sepia

Here are the most hotly-debated posts in our first year (thanks, IfI). By number of comments, the London bombings are the clear winner. By frequency, M.I.A. is probably the subject most often covered. So sex and death dominate the Sepiasphere

  1. British “backlash” box scores: the London bombings
  2. Modi gets B*slapped: the Gujarati CM
  3. How it begins: prejudice in editorial cartoons
  4. Bad Indian Girl: the gender war
  5. The white man’s burden, redux: the British Raj
  6. Were the bombers BBCDs?: the London bombings
  7. Ain’t nobody here but us chickens: General Musharraf
  8. They came from 2nd gen Pakistani families: the London bombings
  9. USAAF vs. IAF: comparing the lengths of military penises
  10. Here we go again: Jersey Guys radio controversy
  11. Say Cheese: Manmohan Singh’s visit
  12. Stand up. For all of us.: Power 99 radio controversy
  13. Creep: General Dyer and the Jallianwala Bagh massacre
  14. Benedict maledict: the new pope
  15. My son the fanatic: the London bombings
  16. Bollywood Delusions: Race vs. Language: on being color-struck
  17. Politicians are full of…: toilet habits
  18. Currying favor: misconceptions about food
  19. More than just wooden shoes: half-desi Miss Universe contestant
  20. A more perfect union: the original Indian-Americans
    Movin’ on up?: Bobby Jindal’s aspirations (tie)

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Izzard vents his gizzard

Cross-dressing British comic Eddie Izzard performs a very funny Monty Python-ish bit about how Britain conquered India (thanks, ms). In his formulation, a flag is like letterhead. Any self-respecting, Brazil-ian bureaucracy must have one.

That’s how you build an empire: we stole countries with the cunning use of flags. You just sail around the world and stick a flag in: ‘I claim India for Britain.’

And they go, ‘You can’t claim us, we live here. 500 million of us!’

‘Do you have a flag?’

Watch the clip.

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Fire Fire (updated again)

M.I.A. and Rekha spun sets in sweltering Central Park today. BrooklynVegan, center of all things Maya, hasn’t posted a review, but here are photos from Death of a Party (the full set of photos flickers here and here). She hankers for the ’80s with a swirl of Japanese schoolgirl. One commenter says:

They told DJ Rekha during her set that it was the biggest crowd that Summerstage saw all season.

Inablogadavida wonders:

Seriously, there were 12 million people in line, and I was 12,000,001. So, no, I didn’t even come close to getting in. In fact, from where I was sitting, M.I.A. sounded like Rosie Perez reciting the morning call to prayer through a cardboard tube. Why can I never manage to jump on a pop-culture bandwagon before it shows up on T.R.L.?

Cicatrix reviews the set in the comments:

Rekha mixed it up with Bhangra, dancehall, some hip-hop, and really cheekily, a few baile funk songs at the end…

… Diplo next… his set was surprisingly boring. He didn’t play any baile funk until the very end… I guess the crowd wasn’t feeling “Walks Like an Egyptian” mashing into anything…

Ok, MIA. They unfurled a full length banner behind her… and brought out some sort of papier mache helicopter… and you guessed it – a 3’x6′ cardboard TIGER… I grit my teeth as the two girl pranced out to the edge of the stage and gave military salutes…

MIA wore blue lace calf-length leggings with a large belted crazy color top, piles of bracelets and hoop earings the diameter of hubcabs. With a high sideways ponytail…

The crowd ate up everything. I was scowling at first, then got teary, then started chanting along and bouncing, then felt a headache coming on… I was really surprised at how many people knew all the words. really! It was a special moment for disenfranchised women when she held the mic to an audience of hipsters who chanted back “I can get squeaky so you can come and oil me” during ‘Hombre.” My jaw is bruised from dropping.

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Back that spazz up (updated)

The Daily Show nicks a joke from Sepia Mutiny! Check out their hilarious takedown of the ‘moral controversy’ around Jay Chandrasekhar’s The Dukes of Hazzard.

The clip pokes fun at a stuffy NAACP official, University of Tennessee frat boys and Ben Jones (Cooter), who’s calling for a movie boycott. Bonus: ‘Hava Nagila‘ played in a format you’ve probably never seen before

Watch the clip. Related posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Update: The #1 movie in America right now is by a desi director.

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Freedom at midnight

Long years ago I thought a ‘Tryst with Destiny‘ meant hooking up with a stripper.

Long years ago Vinod thought ‘desi‘ was followed by ‘Arnaz.’

Long years ago Anna thought Karsh Kale was a kind of cabbage.

Long years ago Abhi thought Kalpana Chawla was a variety of rice.

Long years ago Sajit thought the Dum Dum Project was an insane asylum.

Long years ago Ennis sprang full-grown from his mother’s forehead quoting Gayatri Spivak. Well, shit, he’s freakishly bright and messes up the curve like that.

In the last year, our scary-smart readers have corrected all those misconceptions and are poised to correct a million more. Once, S/He Who Must Not Be Named confided to me that s/he wanted more comments for his/her posts. ‘Comments?’ says I. ‘You want comments? Post something that’s flat-out wrong. You’ll have 47 comments correcting the error, 47 calling you a commie and 47 calling you a fascist by the time the post button springs back into position.’

So on this first anniversary of the Mutiny, I’d like to confess our little scam. You thought we were writing for your edification (and masturbatory coffee breaks — we know how you use the WiFi.) Suckas! In reality, y’all have been educating us.

Collectively, you guys are some smart mofos. Can I just say? You rock.

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I’ve also taken the liberty of penning my hopes and dreams for Sepia Mutiny’s impact on second-gen culturistas. It’s a weighty political manifesto, so be sure and sit down while you read. Here it is:

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