A Well-Educated Snob Gets on a New York Train…

Q: When is it all right to ask someone, “Do you know what schools I went to?”

A: Never. You just negated any glory you may have been seeking when you left that preposition chilling at the end of your question.

B: Never. What kind of an insecure kundi does that?

C: If– and only if– you randomly stumble upon a celebratory gathering where such information is relevant…like at Gold Cup, where different tents are hosted by different institutions of higher learning. Trust me, the UC tent was much nicer than the jokes hosted by Bates or Rollins.

D: Okay, one more: when you run into another alum who is temporarily unaware of what you both have in common. For example, if I ever see someone getting in a car festooned with both UC Davis and GW stickers (not bloody likely), I reserve the right to ask “Guess where I went to school?” in an effusive and ebullient manner, because those are the two places I have degrees from, too! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

And with that admission of my middling alma maters, I have outed myself as someone who has no right to brag about her academic achievements. Good thing I live in swampy, sleepy old D.C. and not New York, where train conductors are sometimes interrogated by outraged ticket-holders who are really, really invested in where they paid for a degree.

I’m referring to the strange case of Hermon K. Raju, erstwhile Metro North straphanger and last week’s favorite viral-panni-on-tape. Raju was riding a Metro North train when other passengers allegedly complained about her loud cell phone conversation, which was purportedly profane. A conductor warned Raju about her disruptive language and the young woman exploded, defending her right to a “private conversation” while asking “Do you know how educated I am?” Raju also dared the rail employee to stop the train and asked for a refund before threatening that she would never ride Metro North again. To her credit, the Metro North employee remained calm despite the torrent of education-fu aimed her way. Raju, on the other hand…well, she was being taped surreptitiously on an iPhone.

Let’s get two things straight, right now.

One. I HATE people who yammer on their phones on public transportation. Here in D.C. no matter which subway car or bus I board, there’s always some idiot yelling, “What? I can’t hear you. Hold on, what?” Newsflash, dick. They can’t hear you because you are on a train. Yet WE can all hear you because we’re trapped on said train along with your entitled, self-centered, oblivious ass. Talking on the train is one of my biggest urban pet peeves. Please baby Jesus and Saint Anthony, prevent cell phone conversations from ever being allowed on airplanes. My cross-country treks home are already too infrequent and barely tolerable as they are; a cabin full of selfish morons discussing nothing important on their iPhones sounds like the third layer of hell.Two. Hermon K. Raju was obnoxious to someone who was just doing her job. No, we don’t know all the facts that are salient to this situation, but I’m hard-pressed to imagine a scenario where Raju’s reaction to the conductor is justified and trust me, between the substances I abuse and my innate, irrepressibly fecund imagination, I can imagine some shit, y’all. So, once more, for the cheap seats in the back:

I am not justifying what Raju did. At all. Additionally, insinuating that I am just because we have brownitude in common isn’t just insulting, it’s lazy.

Unimaginative, really. Raju was wrong to invoke her degrees as if they were some omnipotent way to deflect criticism. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Got that?

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel a little bad for her.

Here’s the thing about being in my 30s. I’m nicer. There’s no other way to write it. During my turbulent 20s, I couldn’t get out of my own way; I was so worried and anxious about my own disastrous life, I could barely walk a mile in someone else’s chappals. Now, it’s nearly always my first response. I may have lost my stellar metabolism and lovely lines which proved that I once had vague muscle tone but I really, really think that the increased thoughtfulness and compassion that old age brings more than makes up for that other shit.

Would you want to be her? Fine, fine. You are better than her. You would never. I hear you. I believe you, I do.

But what about that one time…when you were so faded you woke up in some shrubbery at 9am the next day, missing all of your belongings except your cell– what if someone had secretly been videotaping you, eight hours before that glorious awakening, as you threatened to burn the village of the overly-gelled Guindian who bumped in to you at the officially unofficial Bhangra Blowout 48 after party? Remember? When you made all sorts of frothy allegations about penis size, bank account balances and how you hope he enjoys how you taste, since you stole his gf blah blah blah?

Yeah, not your finest moment. And now we all have smarty phones, which capture and upload every cringe-inducing detail, at 4G speeds!

I’m a little weirded out by how easy it was to name and shame Hermon Raju, how people relished the way infamy was ruining her online rep. Someone sent her video to Gawker and soon after the New York-centric site posted it, a former classmate from NYU mentioned that they knew her; it took merely a few minutes of convincing from other commenters to get said acquaintance to reveal her name.

And just like that, all of the trolls had someone specific to pillory, vs. the disgusting collection of stereotypes they had been batting about…that she was “H1B spawn”, a “typical Pakistani boarding school bitch”, just your average “Indian snob, drunk off a caste system that didn’t follow her here” etc ad nauseum. Once her quondam classmate clarified that she wasn’t a DBD, that she was born here like most of us on this site, the vitriol shifted.

The scorn aimed at her…um…extreme pride…in NYU was slightly understandable; like most online spectators, after all her protesting and hollering I expected her to be an [HYP](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Three_(colleges) alum. The racist shit storm about desi women, what our vaginas smell like and how we’re all insufferable cunts is not something I can grok, no matter how much I read.

Yes, the “C-bomb” is the disgusting epithet I saw most often applied to Raju, no matter what site I haunted. And best of all, people thought it was extra apposite in this case! Get a grip, morons. That insult is reserved for Countess Crackerjacks, a.k.a. Luann on the Real Housewives of New York, and Luann alone. Speaking of television characters, I know I wasn’t the only person who thought Raju’s Locust Valley Lockjaw accent was utterly reminiscent of Trudy from Mad Men. But back to the interesting and vaguely depressing public reaction to this spectacle.

Misogyny, hate and ignorance, oh my. In to this caustic stew, let’s throw in a few commenters’ unfortunate personal experiences with brown-on-black racism and a desire for retribution, for making sure that ALL Raju’s future employers see exactly what kind of a person she is– so many commenters justified this by pointing out that Raju had interned for a Congressman, and that it would be horrible for someone who hated poors to be allowed to gasp! craft policy that might affect them. Because whle Raju was showing tourists around or dutifully answering the phone, she had a lot of opportunity to impact how those who are needy might be affected by potential legislation. Please.

People love a chance to retaliate, especially when they cloak it in faux-righteousness. I’ve been one of those people in the past. But I’m not perfect. And despite what Raju’s most vocal detractors think, neither are they. We’ve all had shitty days, and many of us have experienced a public meltdown (or three). The difference is, we weren’t being filmed. We’re only tied to our own shame, not a collective virtual shaming that clings to every google search of our name. Some say that Raju got what she deserved, that surely it will make her a kinder, gentler Hermon; who knows? Sometimes, this sort of backlash puts people on the defensive, it doesn’t necessarily result in edification or reflection.

One commenter who knows Raju in real life said that she must have been having a really bad day, because she’s actually a nice person. No matter. I’m sure you can find me other people who know her and hate her. It’s a wash. Face it, for most of us, it would be the same way. For every one person who thinks I’m neat, there are ten who can’t stand me. Who’s right about me? All eleven, I’m sure. No one is perfect. No one sees all sides of who we are, but we have seen one ugly side of this woman and it is preserved forever, like a creepy crawly thing ensconced in amber.

Maybe the one thing this sorry situation resulted in is this sobering realization: we are all being watched. Girls (and guys) on film. One upload away from infamy and a destroyed reputation. I may not have attended NYU, but my synapses fire well enough that I realize privacy is dead. Online, the mob lusts for a reason to froth and foam, to judge and exact “justice”.

Dear mutineers, I will try to do you proud and be a credit to our race. You do the same, lest we empower a bunch of desi-hating trolls to crow about us and how we suck. And yes, though some choose to deny it, there IS a racist element to this. We have not graduated to some post-racial nirvana where ethnicity does not matter. Raju wasn’t a jerk because she was Indian; but because she is Indian, people feel empowered to be especially vile when they discuss her. Here is what is relevant: her poor manners. Here is what is not: the “fact” that she smells like curry, whether she grew up in a convenience store or if she loves the caste system. Those stereotypes have nothing to do with why she behaved the way she did, but don’t tell that to the anonymous cowards who are having a blast invoking them anyway. Raju was born and raised here; she snapped and suddenly she’s an evil foreigner, a collection of derogatory assumptions typed by people who can’t separate one rude woman from the rest of us.

Our parents came to this country with eight dollars in their hand; they didn’t sacrifice and suffer so that we could destroy all of their hard work via one regrettable rant. Keep your head down, beta. It’s a nasty job market out there and now that this virtual tarring and feathering isn’t just accepted but celebrated…well, do yourself a favor and keep your c.v. to yourself.

::

I want to apologize to everyone who read this post either yesterday or today. I intended to publish this on Monday morning, and I thought I had saved it as a draft last night; instead, I saw a tweet about it which made me realize that I must have inadvertently published it. What a way to ruin brunch! Anyway, I have just updated it and I am sorry for giving you something half-baked!

101 thoughts on “A Well-Educated Snob Gets on a New York Train…

  1. I hate to say it, but her abbreviated “K” middle name invokes a certain stereotype which is, errr–played out here.

  2. I’ll read the post later.

    I read Kundi – knew it was Anna – and felt so happy that you’re posting again.

    🙂

  3. When Michael Richards’ stand-up act, where he was tossing around racial epithets and made bad jokes about lynching, went viral, Oprah Winfrey asked Chris Rock what he thought about it. While he was not thrilled, he was somewhat sympathetic to Richards, since he has had to deal with hecklers in his own stand-up, but to him the bigger issue issue was, “Can’t a guy just have a bad day?” No one sends videos of your boring day, when you just sit on a train reading your Kindle. Tracy Morgan found out that doing an act in a nightclub, that displeases one guy in the audience, can make you tabloid fodder and charged with being a homophobe.

    We all complain about the TSA touching our privates at the airport, or Facebook sharing your pictures, but people seem to be betraying each other’s embarrassments with shocking frequency.

  4. She deserves everything that she is getting and 10x worse. First of all, lets start with the profane, drunken phone conversation. I don’t care if she was alone in her own home doing that. She has no class and her friends have no class; not what I want representing brown-America, which she is doing whether she likes it or not. Second- I live everyday knowing that my parents worked so hard for, sacrificed so much for, starved for, bled for, received humiliation and taunts for, everything that I have in this country. I could never spit on them they way that Ms. Raju did to her parents. Because that is EXACTLY what she did, whether she was recorded or not. Control your emotions and never make a silly spectacle of yourself. Silly girl.

  5. @ SP — the video only starts after the conductor already asked her to lower her voice/stop talking. We don’t have the actual ‘drunken’ profane conversation on film, or how the conductor first approached her. From what I saw, Raju was unnecessarily aggressive, but by the end it just seemed to be a bitch-off between her and the conductor. While how she reacted was extremely snobby, it’s really not fair that this is the kind of thing that someone’s life gets ruined over. Who the f was filming this?? I’m inclined to think that whoever it was is a piece of shit, only taking out their camera once they saw that the altercation might bring some drama. Honestly, this incident doesn’t merit the soliloquies about how we’ve now ‘tarnished’ the model minority myth and all let down our parents or something like that. So if I fart, does that mean I’ve let down my ancestors??

  6. Serves her right. This IS a South Asian trait, easily observable should someone choose to take a casual stroll through the streets of New Delhi (where H. Kaur’s family hails from). Glad to see she’s in touch with her roots and shitting all over those from a lower station in life. And yes, it is ubiquitous in S. Asia insofar as the person is part of the elite. To me this is about race, privilege, and color. Am I supposed to stay mum lest I perpetuate some non-model-minority (gasp!) stereotype related to S.Asians?

    P.S. May be Alexandra Wallace too was just having a bad day, huh? May be it was teenage immaturity? Nah, she’s just a racist white c***, I gather.

  7. I felt sorry for her initially; why should a person’s reputation be ruined just because they had ONE hissy fit on the train? Everyone gets into a stupid argument at some point in their lives, don’t they?

    But then the more I read about Hermon Kaur Raju, the more I realise that this was not an isolated incident; people who used to know her are coming forward to confirm that she IS indeed an elitist snob. Worse, nobody who knows her personally is coming forward to defend her and point out that “oh, Hermon is actually a very down to earth girl, you’ve misinterpreted what she said on the train..” This wasn’t an abberation from her usualy conduct; it’s actually Classic Hermon. She totally deserves it, and I look forward to seeing more brats like her being shamed publicly.

  8. The entire brouhaha is not particularly surprising though, is it? Given the emphasis South Asian parents put on education (not to mention the manner in which some of us/them use our/their children’s colleges or degrees for bragging rights), it was only a matter of time before the resulting sense of entitlement got caught and broadcast on YouTube for all to see.

    And, to be honest, I suspect most of us have seen other instances of this feeling of entitlement from some of our South Asian peers, but generally in less public arenas.

  9. I’m very familiar with this video now. Hermon Kaur Raju certainly has a very bad, stuck-up, quasi-racist, elitist, and she exemplifies the bad attitudes that Indians have in this country. She was not only very bragadocious, she was extremely audacious in requesting her money back in front OF ALL THOSE OTHER PASSENGERS. Absolutely no shame, and with a mentality that nobody matters – unless they, too, went to a “name brand” school with a petite physique. I’ve seen this attitude played out quite a few times by audacious haggler-type Motel Rajas and Shop-Keeper’s Daughter-types.

    Here is a pic of Hermon. http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/211512_100002537721889_3652618_n.jpg What is she actually trying to do in this photo? The caption to me should read (with Indian accent): “Look at my new drrrreesssss. I so prettttyyyyy.”

  10. This one blogger writes about this incident really well. He attempts to make a connection with this type of behavior with India’s stratified caste system. Specifically, “the need for Indian-American princesses to show that they are a class apart have been made.”

    Moreover, he says that: Lots of us have Indian friends and it is very easy to fall into the trap of using some sort of anecdote to analyze what might be an entirely different situation. A good friend of mine from graduate school was the type to announce within two minutes of meeting her that she had graduated with a Philosophy degree from the University of Pennsylvania, what neighborhood she had grown up in, what her parents did for a living, and how her university was infinitely better than yours. I have another Indian colleague who makes it clear to everyone that she is a “Brahmin” and expects to marry another “Brahmin”. I could say that in my experience young women of this background are prone to find in education a substitute for the caste system of their native land (when they realize that formal caste is irrelevant in this country) but that would be a gross oversimplification. For one thing, Indians are not the only ones to brag about educational background. Many people of, lets be frank, recent immigrant origin, may be inclined to attach a great degree of importance to this sort of accomplishment because, in their minds, it is important for them to make clear to everyone that they are not among the rabble but are, in fact, a class above “less-educated” people. It would be easy to assume that the link here is the origin of such individuals in a rigid class system, but that is not necessarily true.

    I’ve noticed this attitude amongst the Browns here. When a person approaches them, instead of saying “hello” to you, I promise you, that they say “I’m a pre-med.” This is shopkeeper’s daughter behavior, I believe.

  11. This continues from my earlier rant comment. So what’s up with all this caca about everyone getting into the occasional dumb, drunken-in-public incident every now and then? Can’t always keep your cool? Can’t always keep your voice down? Can’t always avoid getting into a drunken brawl or wake up in a bed like a civilized person? My Butt. MY BUTT! I come from an upstanding but traditional South Indian family, and let me tell you– if this girl grew up in my home and came to visit after something like that, she would receive SUCH A SLAP!!! From everyone; mom, dad, ammama, peripa, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, Mrs. Sundarajan, Dr. Ravi, everyone. That brings me to another point about Indians acting out and losing self-control in general. I think there definitely is a North/South India thing going on. Yeah, I said it. I let that one loose. And you know it, too. You don’t see this kind of crap going on in Bangalore, Chennai anywhere near as much as you do in Mumbai, Delhi, even controlling for population. If you see it going happening on Oak Tree Road in Iselin, New Jersey, it’s probably happening in Gujarati. OK, I’m done.

  12. Anna, There is not a group of “desi-hating trolls” out there. Just people who don’t like it when others act rude. Stop trying to make something out of nothing.

  13. Thanks Anna for being one of the few to defend her. Even if she is a snob, she does not deserve this. I feel snobbery comes from an inferiority complex.People who are confident about themselves do not feel the need to make others feel inferior.

  14. some may be thick-skinned enough and completely unfamiliar with panic attacks and other disordered behaviors related to chronic anxiety to give a damn but when people start screaming in enclosed spaces, which may already be a big deal to some, it’s an additional stressor on top of the million other things that people deal with on their daily commute. I’m no fan of Amy Alkon but she has a point when it comes to behavioral norms in public–do unto others and all that–not because you’re the embodiment of all civic virtues but because you retain a smidgen of concern for people other than yourself. Humans have an incredibly inflated moral image of themselves and as technology exposes each piece of that image for the pretty lie that it is there is the absolutely understandable reaction to limit the exposure and shoo the lie back into the shadows. This kind of dishonesty provides no benefit to anyone or anything but the lie itself.

  15. Also regarding nasty comments on other blogs, I find it funny how people think it is OK to go after Indians with a viciousness that they would not dare show to other minority races. I think it is a backhanded compliment. They think it is OK to go after us because we are doing well. Then there is an element of jealousy.

    • Your kidding right? Look on any youtube video of blog about black people and get back to me. I am glad the conductor kept her cool because that women was out of line. I bet she would not have pulled that crap on the X2 down here in D.C.

  16. I suppose I shouldn’t be, but I am a little surprised at the visceral glee with which people, including South Asians, have started to tear down Raju, and/or the groups they feel she belongs to. Let me be clear: I’m not trying to defend Raju’s actions. But, I do think the response has been a tad over-the-top.

    At one level, we’re seeing all sorts of generalizations and slurs being made by (some) members of the South Asian community about North vs. South Indians, shop-keepers, motel owners, etc. — which, I suppose, just goes to show how deeply rooted some of our own cultural stereotypes and baggage from the Desh are. At another level, we are probably seeing some of the anger/envy/frustration that the academic and economic “success” of many in the South Asian community engenders among other communities, particularly in economically difficult times.

  17. I don’t think she should be taken as representing all South Asians, or any ethnic subset thereof. If people see it that way and are using it as an excuse to put down Indian people, well, that just shows the extent of their own racism.

  18. Hermon has a low desi self-esteem and is projecting her insecurities on the train conductor, who is seen in an unfavorable light amongst South Asians. I wonder if Hermon has respect for gardeners and landscape workers? Her mother, after all, owned a small business in this field: http://www.seravia.com/corporation/new-york/easy-way-design-landscape-inc-1t3ieee0i3

    I hope that after she recieves her JD, presumably from NYU, that she will successfully defends her family in their shoddy petroleum bulk storage facilities (a value-added petrol pump, shop-keeper’s daughter): http://www.dec.ny.gov/docs/legal_protection_pdf/rajuo.pdf

    And to SP, you mention: I come from an upstanding but traditional South Indian family, and let me tell you– if this girl grew up in my home and came to visit after something like that, she would receive SUCH A SLAP!!! From everyone; mom, dad, ammama, peripa, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, Mrs. Sundarajan, Dr. Ravi, everyone.

    By stating that your family is “upstanding” is basically the same thing as stating that “I’m not a hoodlum…I’m so educated.” Oh, and you point out, in typical Desi fashion, Dr. Ravi’s title. You’re also finger-pointing on northern Indian groups suggesting that they only exhibit bad behaviors like this, but you are manifesting your regards to fancy titles, your “upstandingness”, and your racism.

  19. What she did was an example of obnoxious behavior exhibited by many folk these days. Her desiness plays a role in this with the way she decides to phrase her “Do You Know Who I Am” assertion. The use of “Do you know what schools I went to.” The conductor may not be a saint either. But like a cop who catches you speeding 60 in a 55, you really can only hope to appease him and get away with a warning by being nice about it. (Well, actually I have been rude to a cop in such an instance, but never used a ridiculous accent and a ridiculous assertion of how great I am ). My observations and questions 1) WHAT KIND OF ACCENT IS THAT? Did she live in a hodgepodge of countries? Let me say that whatever the sat ource of inspiration for her accent is, you cannot develop that obnoxious way of speaking in the spur of the moment. I am guessin she spoke in her cell phone in that kind of tone and volume and attractd the ire of someone which caused this incident. 2) Give her credit for one thing. At least she did not use the education argument to correct the conductor’s use of “AKS” instead of “ASK”. Though I wish she did so we could see the video go even more viral with a massive beatdown conducted by the conductor at the tailend of that video. 3) Racism is not part of this. Class related issues. That’s it. I am thinkinhg the clueless Raju would have said the same if it were a white conductor. 4) Woman did not even go to a top university and not even a tough degree. Funny how she uses the “do you know which schools I went to”. Not that NYU is not a respectable college. BUt if you are going to look down on SUNY’s satellite campuses(linked on another site), then you open yourself to ridicule on your college and major. 5) she does have tan lines on her cleavage in one picture.

  20. “Also regarding nasty comments on other blogs, I find it funny how people think it is OK to go after Indians with a viciousness that they would not dare show to other minority races. I think it is a backhanded compliment. They think it is OK to go after us because we are doing well. Then there is an element of jealousy.”

    Nah, it’s because they probably see this as an Indian thing. While P(Crass display of elitism | Indian) is low, P(Indian | Crass display of elitism) is pretty high.

    It’s funny that you choose to see this as a backhanded compliment rather than thinking of it as a reaction to boorish, not very atypical Indian behavior. Somewhere there’s this pride about Indian success without the realization that not sampling from the extreme right end of the Indian achievement bell curve would make Indian immigrants no better (in terms of achievement metrics that Indians obsess over) than Mexican immigrants.

  21. @KXB,

    interesting you wrote that. Some people do have “bad days” but people like you who are some of the most viscous anti-Pakistan Indians at Sepia Mutiny should know that a “bad day” is not an excuse or a substitute for those who already have a pattern for hate and bigotry or haughtiness.

    • That is a rather odd charge to make. From time to time, I have certainly made my feelings of successive Pakistani governments known. How that criticism of a government can be interpreted as bigotry toward an entire nation is a leap that would make Hanuman’s leap to Ceylon seem tiny by comparison.

  22. If I knew this girl in real life I probably wouldn’t like her, but all she said in a private chatroom conversation is that she felt she had more savvy going to NYU than someplace like SUNY Binghamton, when it comes to living and working in NYC. Living and going to school in NYC better prepares you for living and working in NYC than does living and studying in Binghamton, no big surprise there! Hardly “bashing” SUNY.

    I think people are overly gleeful at seeing her knocked down a peg and basically having her life ruined. They’re sharing addresses, her parents’ information, being sexist and calling her a ‘cunt,’ etc. I don’t think they would be as gleeful if this weren’t someone from the ‘model minority’ who’s not ‘supposed’ to be disruptive, while at the same time confirming stereotypes about indian people’s racism and classism. If this were a working-class black woman (although she would be unlikely to give the ‘well-educated’ defense) no one would give a shit.

    This is all making me very paranoid about my internet activity, even private conversations with friends, etc. It all kind of feels like Lord of the Flies. Next time one of these Gawker hipsters complaining about the government intruding on people’s privacy, I’m going to use this incident as an example of how it’s not the government, but rather other citizens. I’m pretty sure filming her without her consent and then distributing it, even if not for commercial gain (because eventually gawker gets commercial gain out of it…), has got to be breaking some laws right?/

  23. “We’ve all had shitty days, and many of us have experienced a public meltdown (or three). The difference is, we weren’t being filmed.”

    This is a bold statement to make, this wasn’t some reflex reaction to her being attacked. This was a highly calculated, thought-out response on her part.

    ‘many of us’ ? please, speak for you and yourself only. Yes she was being filmed, but shouldn’t that be welcomed? If some other Hermon Raju (and apparently they are running amok these days) out there sees this and thinks twice about outting herself as a class A douche, shouldn’t that be welcome?

    Of all the people out there in the world that deserve a little sympathy, why should be given any at all?

  24. Anna: “And despite what Raju’s most vocal detractors think, neither are they. We’ve all had shitty days, and many of us have experienced a public meltdown (or three). The difference is, we weren’t being filmed.”

    The degree of our meltdowns pales in comparison to this, where she went to a much higher energy level than the liquid phase. She combusted, Anna. If one of us here on SM melts down, it’s probably something to the effect of me honking my horn aggressively at someone (without showing my middle finger or cursing), or me politely telling the guy at the cardiac machines that there is a time limit in place. I’m sure that others on SM would agree that Hermon Raju spontaneous combustion was way beyond the pale of what a permissible melt-down would entail.

    I personally think that we all can relate to desi snobs like her.

  25. Anna, I am so happy you wrote this piece.

    You just have to look at this comment section to see that everyone thinks they are infallible, or that Herman is particularly vile. To be frank, at its worst, all that it says about Herman is that she is inordinately proud of her education. Big deal. Correct me if I am wrong, but did she even say anything bad about anyone else? So why this much of hate?

    Yeah, if she weren’t desi (or East Asian perhaps), this wouldn’t have registered at all.

  26. It is both ironic AND appropriate that A N N A wrote this post. And in both cases, it’s obnoxious.

  27. Anna, you have written a very thoughtful piece, where Raju’s ‘offense’ is recognized, while extending a sympathy indicative of your increasingly compassionate nature, and progressing on a higher path. I once wrote an non-anonymous email, saying you should write less for SM–I was wrong to write that, I apologize, please keep writing.

    And, for all of you who consider this recording of Raju to be a meltdown, then wow, wtf have you been living?? You seriously call that a meltdown? Okaaaaay.

  28. The fact that this lady had to keep saying she is not crazy tells me that she has exhibited this kind of behavior before and people called her out on it in the past. I am going to be unapologetic and say I had no problem sharing the video with others. This humiliation will hopefully make some changes in her behavior. Sure, it is going to hurt like hell in the short term. But if she has any sense of introspection, she will become a better person for it. I am willing to wager that this is not the first time she has acted in such an obnoxious and clueless manner.

  29. “while extending a sympathy indicative of your increasingly compassionate nature,”

    but in this case, she err’d, and deserves no sympathy. It’s unfortunate that she was chosen to be made an example of, but she no sympathy is required. The flip side of the power of the internet and online community is that she herself has the power to issue out an apology video and correct her standing in the court of public opinion. Sure, not everyone would accept it, and the ‘fck you cnt’ messages would continue but at least she could say to herself she made attempts to redress the situation.

    Yes, she was filmed. and Yes we live in a technology-driven world where things are possible now that weren’t possible 10 yrs ago, and yes if HR was say 10 yrs older, she wouldn’t have had to deal with this because she’d have progressed from her immature 20s into her mature 30s. But those are all things that are true whether hermon raju talks loud on a train or not.

  30. I just found Hermon’s line of reasoning ridiculous. What was she trying to get at by highlighting the schools she went to? Hermon obviously believes that those who studied at prestigious schools have superior social graces and manners than those who don’t even possess a college degree. I find this mindset utterly despicable. A well-educated person isn’t necessarily dignified and courteous, and lots of working class folks have impeccable manners. If someone wants others to know that they have good social graces, they should prove it with their actions, instead of expecting others to infer it from the schools they went to. This girl is simply a classist snob who truly believes that people from a certain class carry themselves better than those from a lower class. I honestly think Anna isn’t describing the incident accurately by calling it a mere “meltdown”.

  31. I honestly think Anna isn’t describing the incident accurately by calling it a mere “meltdown”; it’s more like PREJUDICE.

  32. “Give her credit for one thing. At least she did not use the education argument to correct the conductor’s use of “AKS” instead of “ASK”. Though I wish she did so we could see the video go even more viral with a massive beatdown conducted by the conductor at the tailend of that video. “

    There was no argument. The conductor wasn’t disputing whether she was well-educated or not, she just didn’t care. As it rightfully had no bearing on her being loud.

    As an aside, to combat the “aks” vs “ask”, we had a white racist english teacher in 8th grade, that would repeatedly write on the board “ass-kisser” and say the word is “ask” as in “ass-kisser”

  33. http://www.dec.ny.gov/hearings/71340.html

    if it was simply a ‘bad day’ and she doesn’t deserve this infamy, why didn’t she go with the absolutely factual line, “hey, don’t you know my parents are successful entrepreneurs who own gas stations? Don’t you know their blue-collar smarts and hard work ethic put me through college? I am just as American as any of these people and as entitled to ruin others people’s train rides as that last group of teenage hooligans who left at the last stop.”

    It has to do with class and how the abd generation most often chooses to signal it to their peers: through things of very little real significance to the ‘crisis’ at hand like post-h.s. education, voting activity or perhaps time spent doing things other than running gas stations and building a better life for your children.

  34. It’s not just an ABD thing. I have a DBD aunt that can act just as crazy and may say things almost as dumb as his woman. I have seen indians in India say similar stuff in their own obnoxious ways. With Hermon, it’s the convergence of the cartoonish accent and the choice of words that has made this go viral.

    BTW, this Alama Drafthouse No Texting ad should win AD OF THE YEAR.

  35. My point for providing that link being that the Alamo Drafthouse clips takes a white female whiner and uses her own phone call to make an ad which has gone viral. It is not just any whiner. It has to have a combination of an obnoxiousself-entitled tone , some contradictions in the assertions made while complaining, and just flat out funny.

  36. Yeah, if she weren’t desi (or East Asian perhaps), this wouldn’t have registered at all.

    Oh please. I guess you’ve already forgotten the Alamo Draught House voice mail rant (white)? Or Miss Amtrak Logorrhea (black)?

    I think this is simply evidence of a broader syndrome of women on cellphones behaving badly- then busted for it. And I’m very much thrilled with it. I’m sick of it all.

  37. “I guess you’ve already forgotten the Alamo Draught House voice mail rant (white)?”

    I’m not exactly sure how an audio recording can have race attributed to it. but…

    “I think this is simply evidence of a broader syndrome of women on cellphones behaving badly- then busted for it.”

    this is right on the money. with so much focus on the “race angle” of the incident, we neglect the obvious gender angle, and how women on phones in public places basically have zero sense of accountability and consideration for the people around them.

    Hermon was an extreme case, discussing her academic background and such, what next, an account of when she learned to walk and learned her times tables. However the female sense of entitlement and lack of accountability for one’s actions is pretty evident here.

  38. I’m not exactly sure how an audio recording can have race attributed to it. but…

    Have you heard that recording? That is a white person(it’s texas, so include the latinas too). There is always that tiny chance it is not, but I am willing to wager it is. I have seen Asian Americans with southern/Texan accents, but they do not slur their words the way she does.

    I don’t know if you can say that this is a female problem. I have seen plenty of guys with a bluetooth piece in their ear talking loudly in public. Maybe, anecdotally, there are more females we notice. Maybe.

  39. “Have you heard that recording? That is a white person(it’s texas, so include the latinas too).”

    Well, it doesn’t matter. racism these days is applied in a fashion called “seatbelt racism” as I call it.

    In many states, you cannot pull someone over for simply not wearing their seatbelt, but if you pull them over for a larger infraction, AND they happen to not be wearing their seatbelt, they can be penalized further.

    so when a minority does something that is legitimately infractious, their race is akin to not wearing a seatbelt, and becomes further cause for “penalization”

    lets say the austin theater caller had a thick (any) accent, you can be the comments would spill into the “get out of our country you #$@()#$#@” etc… that doesn’t mean white people will be given free passes to fly among the lillies, but they certainly don’t have to worry about getting their extra fines for seatbelts.

  40. “I have seen plenty of guys with a bluetooth piece in their ear talking loudly in public.”

    Are they in situations in which at least some sense of quiet is expected? There are many arrogant pieces of #$@( desi guys that have a 100:1 gel ratio

  41. This entire Hermon Raju train incident is a juxtaposition of many contemporary that are indian american and non indian america, by its very nature.

    Before the reveal:

    I disagree with the sentiment that Hermon is getting more bitter treatment just because she is a indian american. When the video was first released, no one really knew who the person in the video was, but the fact the video still went viral, shows that people are disgusted by her actions, rather than just her background.

    It was the surrealism of the video, that shocked most people. How could someone act so pretentious and act in a vitriolic manner to a person just doing her job? Based on the information of just seeing the videos, people would assume that Hermon graduated from a “elite” university and had a “elite” upbringing.

    Before Hermon identity was revealed, what struck a cord with people, was a deeply rooted, not really talked about notion, that the “elites” have a rather apathetic and negative view of the general public. After the financial crisis, with the bombardment of media stories on rich investment bankers, and how the rich control the united states, I think this “elitism” notion was deeply engrained in the back of people’s mind.

    If we do some critical thinking, and imagine Hermon to be a “white male investment banker”. I can guarantee that the reaction would have been even worse. The fact that these people who are in those positions, are sort of on the down low. People who have lost there jobs or had to foreclose their house, or just have felt the sting of a down economy, might feel resentment towards the elite.

    Hermon broke few cardinal and unwritten rules. If you ask, people who do actually come from a “elite” background; like being a heir to the Johnson & Johnson family. Then you would know, that you don’t ever brag about your pedigree in public. That too you don’t use your pedigree, to try a win a situation you know that you are in fault in. These people like the Johnson and Johnson clan have know it for many years. Never ever brag about your wealth.

    Even in the case, if the financial meltdown did not happen, and everyone had good jobs. Human jealousy is always prevalent, and people who have never talk about it. That is one of the ways to make friends instead of enemies when your successful; it is to be humble. Think about this, any popular celebrity, let’s say like “Brad Pitt”, if he were to brag about his things and wealth, the very next day there would be an outcry from the public and a boycotting of his movies, guaranteed.

    After the reveal: After Raju was outed. We learned she was not really an “elite”. She went to a nice college (NYU) but it’s no Harvard. She was revealed to be an indian american, who was currently not employed. The public opinion was then sort updated to reflect the new information.

    Why did she act like that, even though she not an “elite”? Is this the way indian women typically act?

    The first negative view of her before the outing, fueled the second view. People wanted answers. Public perception of Indians, has greatly changed since I was a kid. People do now recognize that Indians are financially successful, and are in more professional roles, than the stereotypical ones of taxi drivers, hotel owners, and shop keepers. With this knowledge people recognize that indian parents (like chinese parents) push there kids to success.

    I have dealt with many indians from various backgrounds. From growing up (mostly Gujurati’s), to now diverse array of various North and South Indians, from H1B holders to people who grew up here. I can say without a doubt, that mostly indian parents push there kids into a certain box. You have to get good grades, go to college, get masters or MBA, and get married. It’s rote memorization for being successful. Any other type of success to the parents is labeled, “outside the scope…”

    So many Indians who have grown up by this are so brain washed by this, sometimes they don’t even realize it. From when these kids went to family parties, where parents who brag and even bullshit about their children’s academic success. “My daughter goes to MIT, she is top of her classical indian dancing class, she got accepted into UPenn, now she makes 120k with 30k bonus and drives a lexus, Mahendra, how is your son doing?” Behavior like this does effect the kids even at the subconscious level, but creates a inbuilt jealousy. The kids that grow up, now want to be successful for the sake of being successful and inherently bragging about. These indian american kids want to be “different” but at the same time are very competitive with each other.

    In India there is a caste system. Currently for indian americans, I think education and financial success has taken over. Now indian girls check, whether their potential boyfriends, have a Masters degree. Is he “highly educated, I cannot go for someone who just has his bachelors.” The values that the parents instilled are a handicap as much as it might be a blessing for them. The kids tote around degrees as medals. Embedded in their brains, they have memorized a cookie cutter recipe for success, even though they might make fun of FOBish people, they have very FOBish traits embedded.

    The one thing that Indian parents here in the US have generally not taught there kids, is how to critically think. That skill in which even the parent might not possess. The education system in Indian, not matter what Indian parents might say is really bad. It’s all about rote memorization. That is the skill that Indian parents have most picked up, how to rote memorize things. They don’t know the reason why something is bad or good, they just know that it is.

    Here is an example. Most Indian Americans going to college for there under grad, right now are either doing Fiance or Medicine. What?, no IT, nope, mostly Indians from India are actually in IT. The wise parents spread around that all IT jobs will be outsourced, so they tell their children “Beta be a doctor, or MBA”.
    Most cases these parents have not critically thought about this, before telling their kids.

    They really don’t know what IT is. They don’t know that mostly low level jobs are outsourced to India. They don’t know, that if you have great programming skills, you get top dollar from companies. They don’t know that the upside is really high, especially if you start a software company and it gets bought out. They don’t know jack, just rote memorized there lines.

    All this I think applies to Raju. Her view of the world was designed by her parents. It makes sense, that if she was having a bad day, all of these vile thoughts that were in her head would come out. Is Raju one in a million?, I say no. It’s her bad luck that her rant got exposed on youtube. I have cousins, who act in a similiar “stuck up” manner to Raju. Cousin’s who grilled me that I should get a MBA, while people I highly respect and are successful, like Paul Graham http://www.paulgraham.com/ or Girish Navani, would say a MBA is a waste of time and money.

    So I don’t think Raju deserves her life destroyed. But I do think this poisonous cookie cutter rote thinking, that Indian parents pass on to their kids, needs to be exposed. I think the people who are highly success, are success not because they want to be successful, but the fact they are good at something the really enjoy doing.

    I wrote this in a hurry, sorry of the bad grammer. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

    Parag parag.patel.one@gmail.com

  42. This entire Hermon Raju train incident is a juxtaposition of many contemporary that are indian american and non indian america, by its very nature.

    Before the reveal:

    I disagree with the sentiment that Hermon is getting more bitter treatment just because she is a indian american. When the video was first released, no one really knew who the person in the video was, but the fact the video still went viral, shows that people are disgusted by her actions, rather than just her background.

    It was the surrealism of the video, that shocked most people. How could someone act so pretentious and act in a vitriolic manner to a person just doing her job? Based on the information of just seeing the videos, people would assume that Hermon graduated from a “elite” university and had a “elite” upbringing.

    Before Hermon identity was revealed, what struck a cord with people, was a deeply rooted, not really talked about notion, that the “elites” have a rather apathetic and negative view of the general public. After the financial crisis, with the bombardment of media stories on rich investment bankers, and how the rich control the united states, I think this “elitism” notion was deeply engrained in the back of people’s mind.

    If we do some critical thinking, and imagine Hermon to be a “white male investment banker”. I can guarantee that the reaction would have been even worse. The fact that these people who are in those positions, are sort of on the down low. People who have lost there jobs or had to foreclose their house, or just have felt the sting of a down economy, might feel resentment towards the elite.

    Hermon broke few cardinal and unwritten rules. If you ask, people who do actually come from a “elite” background; like being a heir to the Johnson & Johnson family. Then you would know, that you don’t ever brag about your pedigree in public. That too you don’t use your pedigree, to try a win a situation you know that you are in fault in. These people like the Johnson and Johnson clan have know it for many years. Never ever brag about your wealth.

    Even in the case, if the financial meltdown did not happen, and everyone had good jobs. Human jealousy is always prevalent, and people who have never talk about it. That is one of the ways to make friends instead of enemies when your successful; it is to be humble. Think about this, any popular celebrity, let’s say like “Brad Pitt”, if he were to brag about his things and wealth, the very next day there would be an outcry from the public and a boycotting of his movies, guaranteed.

    After the reveal: After Raju was outed. We learned she was not really an “elite”. She went to a nice college (NYU) but it’s no Harvard. She was revealed to be an indian american, who was currently not employed. The public opinion was then sort updated to reflect the new information.

    Why did she act like that, even though she not an “elite”? Is this the way indian women typically act?

    The first negative view of her before the outing, fueled the second view. People wanted answers. Public perception of Indians, has greatly changed since I was a kid. People do now recognize that Indians are financially successful, and are in more professional roles, than the stereotypical ones of taxi drivers, hotel owners, and shop keepers. With this knowledge people recognize that indian parents (like chinese parents) push there kids to success.

    I have dealt with many indians from various backgrounds. From growing up (mostly Gujurati’s), to now diverse array of various North and South Indians, from H1B holders to people who grew up here. I can say without a doubt, that mostly indian parents push there kids into a certain box. You have to get good grades, go to college, get masters or MBA, and get married. It’s rote memorization for being successful. Any other type of success to the parents is labeled, “outside the scope…”

    So many Indians who have grown up by this are so brain washed by this, sometimes they don’t even realize it. From when these kids went to family parties, where parents who brag and even bullshit about their children’s academic success. “My daughter goes to MIT, she is top of her classical indian dancing class, she got accepted into UPenn, now she makes 120k with 30k bonus and drives a lexus, Mahendra, how is your son doing?” Behavior like this does effect the kids even at the subconscious level, but creates a inbuilt jealousy. The kids that grow up, now want to be successful for the sake of being successful and inherently bragging about. These indian american kids want to be “different” but at the same time are very competitive with each other.

    In India there is a caste system. Currently for indian americans, I think education and financial success has taken over. Now indian girls check, whether their potential boyfriends, have a Masters degree. Is he “highly educated, I cannot go for someone who just has his bachelors.” The values that the parents instilled are a handicap as much as it might be a blessing for them. The kids tote around degrees as medals. Embedded in their brains, they have memorized a cookie cutter recipe for success, even though they might make fun of FOBish people, they have very FOBish traits embedded.

    The one thing that Indian parents here in the US have generally not taught there kids, is how to critically think. That skill in which even the parent might not possess. The education system in Indian, not matter what Indian parents might say is really bad. It’s all about rote memorization. That is the skill that Indian parents have most picked up, how to rote memorize things. They don’t know the reason why something is bad or good, they just know that it is.

    Here is an example. Most Indian Americans going to college for there under grad, right now are either doing Fiance or Medicine. What?, no IT, nope, mostly Indians from India are actually in IT. The wise parents spread around that all IT jobs will be outsourced, so they tell their children “Beta be a doctor, or MBA”.
    Most cases these parents have not critically thought about this, before telling their kids.

    They really don’t know what IT is. They don’t know that mostly low level jobs are outsourced to India. They don’t know, that if you have great programming skills, you get top dollar from companies. They don’t know that the upside is really high, especially if you start a software company and it gets bought out. They don’t know jack, just rote memorized there lines.

    All this I think applies to Raju. Her view of the world was designed by her parents. It makes sense, that if she was having a bad day, all of these vile thoughts that were in her head would come out. Is Raju one in a million?, I say no. It’s her bad luck that her rant got exposed on youtube. I have cousins, who act in a similiar “stuck up” manner to Raju. Cousin’s who grilled me that I should get a MBA, while people I highly respect and are successful, like Paul Graham http://www.paulgraham.com/ or Girish Navani, would say a MBA is a waste of time and money.

    So I don’t think Raju deserves her life destroyed. But I do think this poisonous cookie cutter rote thinking, that Indian parents pass on to their kids, needs to be exposed. I think the people who are highly success, are success not because they want to be successful, but the fact they are good at something the really enjoy doing.

    I wrote this in a hurry, sorry of the bad grammer. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

    Parag parag.patel.one@gmail.com

  43. “So I don’t think Raju deserves her life destroyed”

    and I don’t think she will. Yes she’s had to withdraw from sites like linked in, facebook, etc.. and get berated online, but the next Hermon Raju will occupy the “cyber-waves” soon and she’ll be a long forgotten memory soon enough. What she CAN do is however, while people are still wasting time talking about her, is issue an apology video online.

  44. “So I don’t think Raju deserves her life destroyed. But I do think this poisonous cookie cutter rote thinking, that Indian parents pass on to their kids, needs to be exposed. I think the people who are highly success, are success not because they want to be successful, but the fact they are good at something the really enjoy doing.”

    Parag that was VERY well said. cheers.

  45. kidpoker666: So I don’t think Raju deserves her life destroyed. But I do think this poisonous cookie cutter rote thinking, that Indian parents pass on to their kids, needs to be exposed. I think the people who are highly success, are success not because they want to be successful, but the fact they are good at something the really enjoy doing.

    I don’t think anyone’s life is destroyed here. But Raju has been humiliated on a fairly large scale, with a lot of glee. And what you are saying is that all Indians are like that. Polish your pitchforks, and let us humiliate her and all those Indians too!

    Pravin: “Have you heard that recording? That is a white person(it’s texas, so include the latinas too). There is always that tiny chance it is not, but I am willing to wager it is. I have seen Asian Americans with southern/Texan accents, but they do not slur their words the way she does.”

    I actually have followed your comments in several threads and often agree with what you say. But this analogy is disingenuous. On the one hand, a person, Raju, is the being publicly humiliated. On the other hand, the voicemail is anonymous.

    Had Raju’s video remained anonymous and people were just laughing at the snobbery, the analogy holds. But even before her identity became known, all desis had been tarred with casteism, curry smells and what not, with the usual “go back to India” urges on comment boards. Just read this thread itself. It is desis as a group (and how that is even possible in a nation with 20 different languages and a hundred different traditions, don’t ask) who are blamed, not just her.

    And on top of that, she is thought fit to be humiliated by the “virtuous” mob here. Ever heard of the Scarlet Letter? I don’t think she deserves this humiliation for her infraction—for that is all that was. An ill judged choice of words, and losing good sense for a moment.

  46. Parag Patel: It was the surrealism of the video, that shocked most people. How could someone act so pretentious and act in a vitriolic manner to a person just doing her job? Based on the information of just seeing the videos, people would assume that Hermon graduated from a “elite” university and had a “elite” upbringing.

    I didn’t realize that she was unemployed. I realize that she lives with her parents, and in previous chatroom talks she had, she is quite strident in her pride at being able to live in the City.

    Parag Patel: Hermon broke few cardinal and unwritten rules. If you ask, people who do actually come from a “elite” background; like being a heir to the Johnson & Johnson family. Then you would know, that you don’t ever brag about your pedigree in public. That too you don’t use your pedigree, to try a win a situation you know that you are in fault in. These people like the Johnson and Johnson clan have know it for many years. Never ever brag about your wealth.

    Great point, PP. I agree with you 100%. Anyone who brags about their wealth is very parvenu. Oh yes, many Desi-Americans are extremely nouveau riche with their BIG weddings, garish clothes-style, excessive jewelry, and inability to show moderation/restraint. Hermon Raju totally epitomizes the nouveau riche atitude with a Desi flair (basically paraphrasing: “Do you know who my family is?”), and her pout-picture that I posted. But this whole thing backfired on her. She was just an empty suit: She lives with her Mom/Dad, and her Dad owns a failed bulk petroleum storage facility and her Mom owns a landscape architect business. Not that I’m being condescending on these occupations – I actually respect ALL occupations.

    After the reveal: After Raju was outed. We learned she was not really an “elite”. She went to a nice college (NYU) but it’s no Harvard. She was revealed to be an indian american, who was currently not employed. The public opinion was then sort updated to reflect the new information.

    I wasn’t aware that she was unemployed, but only living with her Mom/Dad.

    Why did she act like that, even though she not an “elite”? Is this the way indian women typically act?

    Parag, I have a feeling that “YES”, this is exactly what is acceptable in her upbringing. There are many of us who suffer from the Little Princess/Little Prince Syndrome. She was academically gifted, went to a good school, and rubbed elbows with elite folks, but in spite of all this smartness and education, she had no wisdom or class. I’ve seen Desi Americans who teach their kids bad behaviour – such as bullying attitudes, racism/casteism, resentment towards Indians, and NO empathy. Based on my limited observations, I have seen Indian parents – old and young – who train their kids to resent/distrust other Indians.

    I have dealt with many indians from various backgrounds. From growing up (mostly Gujurati’s), to now diverse array of various North and South Indians, from H1B holders to people who grew up here. I can say without a doubt, that mostly indian parents push there kids into a certain box. You have to get good grades, go to college, get masters or MBA, and get married. It’s rote memorization for being successful. Any other type of success to the parents is labeled, “outside the scope…”

    Brilliant point, my friend. I noticed that a high-minded, simple-living person who, for example, makes ceramic pottery or a guy who works with special needs kids is shunned as an outcaste.

    So many Indians who have grown up by this are so brain washed by this, sometimes they don’t even realize it. From when these kids went to family parties, where parents who brag and even bullshit about their children’s academic success. “My daughter goes to MIT, she is top of her classical indian dancing class, she got accepted into UPenn, now she makes 120k with 30k bonus and drives a lexus, Mahendra, how is your son doing?” Behavior like this does effect the kids even at the subconscious level, but creates a inbuilt jealousy. The kids that grow up, now want to be successful for the sake of being successful and inherently bragging about. These indian american kids want to be “different” but at the same time are very competitive with each other.

    They are also VERY VERY insecure and very improperly socialized. They are quite weak if you ask me.

    In India there is a caste system. Currently for indian americans, I think education and financial success has taken over.

    Not sure if i agree 100% here. There is also regionalism amongst the Indian-American and perhaps even a caste-forward attitude, especially amongst the FOB community. In general, I agree with you mostly.

    Now indian girls check, whether their potential boyfriends, have a Masters degree. Is he “highly educated, I cannot go for someone who just has his bachelors.” The values that the parents instilled are a handicap as much as it might be a blessing for them. The kids tote around degrees as medals. Embedded in their brains, they have memorized a cookie cutter recipe for success, even though they might make fun of FOBish people, they have very FOBish traits embedded.

    Very good point, PP. You hit the nail on the head. They make fun of FOBs, but they, themselves, manifest the most fobbiest of qualities, but with an American accent and more drama.

    The one thing that Indian parents here in the US have generally not taught there kids, is how to critically think. That skill in which even the parent might not possess. The education system in Indian, not matter what Indian parents might say is really bad. It’s all about rote memorization. That is the skill that Indian parents have most picked up, how to rote memorize things. They don’t know the reason why something is bad or good, they just know that it is.

    OMG, I’ve met a desi girl who’s an MD, but she had no clue what “seismic activity” meant. Geez…moreover, she couldn’t understand my references to more cerebral topics.

    Here is an example. Most Indian Americans going to college for there under grad, right now are either doing Fiance or Medicine. What?, no IT, nope, mostly Indians from India are actually in IT. The wise parents spread around that all IT jobs will be outsourced, so they tell their children “Beta be a doctor, or MBA”. Most cases these parents have not critically thought about this, before telling their kids.

    I agree with your observations, but I see a value in our parents discouraging us to attend a $50k/year degree in art appreciation or art history. They’d rather us do something more steady and more likely for employment. After all, if Hermon’s parent insisted on her getting a degree in engineering, she wouldn’t be commuting to her parents home, and she’s what? – 28 years old?

    I think the people who are highly success, are success not because they want to be successful, but the fact they are good at something the really enjoy doing.

    Great quote, PP. Can I be your friend?

  47. Did not see the entire view, did not read the entire article, nor did I read all the comments. I like the fact that she has more balls than most desi boys.

    • I’m skeptical about your assertion. That video has been pulled down since it was posted there by a fake “Herman Kaur Raju”. You’ll get an error message which says: “This video is no longer available because the youtube account associated with this video has been terminated.”