Growing up I adored the holidays. We sang carols in school, followed by vacation and festive parties thrown by my parents’ European friends. The highlight of the season, and our key family tradition, was to walk down 5th Avenue and look at the various Christmas displays in the shop windows.
For me, my favorite parts were the rampant commercialism and the massive displays of conspicuous consumption. Christmas was never a family holiday, we never kept a tree in our Manhattan apartment and in my Jewish neighborhood nobody believed in Santa, a custom my neighbors explained was a bit of gentile foolishness for children who were too slow to notice that apartments had no chimneys.
For these reasons I never developed a deep abiding affection for the holidays. Many of my brown friends are thrilled that the season is upon us, talking about how they plan to make the holiday their own, putting a Khanda on top of a “Christmas Tree”, etc. And why not? The tree is an old pagan tradition that was only grudgingly accepted by the Catholic Church, all the best Christmas songs were written by Jews, and Santa Claus is Punjabi .
Personally, I’m more of a bah humbug kind of guy. Where I live in the Midwest, strangers answer your Happy Holidays with a Merry Christmas in such a way to make me want to declare war against it, or explain to them in a pedantic fashion that the early Christians didn’t celebrate Christmas because birthday celebrations were seen as pagan, and that most of the traditions associated with Christmas are either pagan (like the word Yule) or the result of fairly recent invention. With such stress, there’s a reason why cardiac mortality increases this time of year.
How about y’all? Are you grinchy like me, viewing Xmas as just a cheap travel day? Or do you have a sentimental attachment to the holidays and all their trimmings? (video after the fold)
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Cheap travel day.
For my 3 year old, Christmas is:
1) Santa Claus, though don’t make me sit on his lap at the mall. 2) New trucks. Where’s my present? I want more trucks! 3) Everyone has lights decorating their houses, can we too? 4) Christmas songs learned from Dora the explorer: “Feliz Navidad, Prospero Anos y Felicidad!” 5) A 3 foot high plastic tree with lights. 6) Lots of odd Christmas movies on TV trying to make sense of the Santa myth.
In short, a pleasant time Daddy is not inclined to discourage.
Tree, gifts, and the whole (secular) lot. Off to open presents – happy holidays to all!
I am pretty grinchy…. which you can probably surmise since I am online right now.. 😉
There are certain things I like about Christmas– giving to others, spending time with family, eating a special pastry we always make (yum!) but I think usually these small things get overshadowed by obnoxious commercials, hideous Christmas songs, rampant consumerism, and a full list of obligations one must follow…. which results in me wanting to hide. Maybe some day I can sort of adapt Christmas to be more pleasant in my book…
Also, I think the lack of children in our family at this time makes it even less exciting…
Growing up, did the Christmas thing at school – very little at home. Think we did a fake tree sometimes. Now my gf is really into the holidays. The music can be a bit much after a while, but enough classic movies to keep you entertained. Think it also depends on those around you.
So – off to open presents – Merry Christmas everyone !!
I love Christmas and the holiday season because it is so lovely and quiet at work. Hate it when January comes around and people start making their way back.
Growing up in a village in Kerala in the old days. Christmas Tree was not prime, but Christmas was all about making a ‘Piravi vilakku'(a big star) with bamboo sticks, tapiocca sticks and coconut lamps. Never had Santa, but “Pappanji” was fun. Kids and teens in our family used to get a little taste of home distilled spirits, which was something that us naughty kids looked forward to all year. Assisting the elders with distillation process, gave us opportunities for creative sourcing. I can give some credence to the theory that the west sourced distillation ideas from the east. Caroling was fun, because it gave us hooligans to get into the homes of pretty sweet hearts at least once a year. There was no better fun than giving a wink to those cuties, at the comfort of their homes. Becoming a Pappanji was always a wish for me, but I was never a good enough dancer to qualify. Beating those drums, tambourines and singing it at the top capacity of the lungs was more important than the melody. People got used to the sound of drums throughout the night as we were busy visiting every home. December used to be misty and chilly in Kerala, so creating a fire at night was a custom around our area. Noone even thought about putting firewood in a fire, as wood was valued, so collecting twigs and dried leaves was kids daytime duty. Not much of gifts, but getting a new set of clothes bought with ‘Christmas Rebates’ was awesome. There were only 3 or 4 kinds of toys that was ever made in those days. A gun, whistle, ballon and a ball, that was pretty much it!. The fun part was making those at home than buying it. Hm.. magical times..in a totally different way. My kids never even try to relate to those memories. Old memories are good, I am trying to create some memories for my kids in a totally different world.
Landbeyond.. Thanks for sharing 🙂
custom my neighbors explained was a bit of gentile foolishness for children who were too slow to notice that apartments had no chimneys.
It’s always funny how people become super-rational where other people’s superstitions are concerned.
For these reasons I never developed a deep abiding affection for the holidays.
And this is the intended result of that selective scepticism.
@logic: Behave please. I deleted your comment because I don’t care to have what you think you know about my personal life discussed here, but I have no explosive range, and I still insist there’s no reason for people in supermarkets, car garages, etc. to insist on wishing a merry CHRISTMAS to somebody who is obviously not Christian.
@Wunderbar: Sorry if I wasn’t clear. Most grownups love the holidays without believing in Santa, the two aren’t connected. No, the holidays don’t mean anything to me because they never really became a part of my life as an adult, and actually I have few friends for whom xmas is a big deal other than as a regular gathering point for family. In my family, that’s Thanksgiving, so we feel free to travel on or around xmas.
@LandBeyond7Zs
Nice post.
My public elementary education + schmaltzy Christmas eve movies (It’s a Wonderful Life, Charlie Brown Christmas, etc) turn me quasi Christian for about a week. The baby Jesus in the manger story is peaceful and happy so I have no problems getting behind it even though I’m Hindu. Then again I cherrypick whatever I want from different religions so I’m probably an exception…
Maybe they should say “Bah Humbug!” instead?
Just goes to show you that no power on Earth can keep Christmas down. It comes without ribbons! It comes without tags! It comes without packages, boxes or bags!
If you are so “Personally, I’m more of a bah humbug kind of guy.”.. why you are so bothered to write a whole article about it? Quit whining publicly and meditate. And I don’t care if you delete this comment, this comment is for you, not for the rest of the sepia readers. I came here today to see if Sepia had any coverage on the AP state split or the ND Tiwari scandal. Instead I get one person’s moaning as if it is a personal blog..
It IS a personal blog!
I like this blog. It’s awesome. It highlights a shared experience among indian kids (with indian hindu parents) growing up in a country where xmas is a very big deal. I personally like the festive season. Although it’s not religiously celebrated by my hindu family, putting up an xmas tree (even if it’s fake), decorating it and exchanging gifts in our home is kind of analagous to lighting firecrackers, getting ‘clothing’ presents and eating plenty of delicious food on diwali with your family – both have fun times with family and friends written all over them. The love is palpable 🙂
as a hindu, someone wishing me a merry christmas is not a big deal. the person means well and is not necessarily trying to push a particular religion at me. there are better things to get upset about.
the only thing i dislike about the season is the ridiculous traffic that inevitably occurs within a 5 mile radius of any shopping local.
since marrying my jewish better half i have become more sensitized however to the intricate and sometimes not-too-obvious complexities of this season. for example i grew up loving the charlie brown xmas special until my then fiance pointed out that one of the psalms recited during the episode is basically accusing the jews of killing christ. i guess i wont be passing the episode to my future kids! i grew up pretty oblivious to judeo christian history but i know my kids will be far more exposed.
Good grief!
I get grinchy until the last few days before Christmas. Then I decide not to ruin the holidays for the younger kids in the family. But when I was younger, we didn’t really celebrate it so much. What Amardeep said.
introverts are always screwed no matter the holiday.
So who would have expected that the resident “right-wing Hindutvaadi fascist” would be the most Christmas spirited one here?
I mulled wine and put up lights. I even cut down a tree!
The trouble with you kids is that you intellectualize too much. Give the Yoga Family an excuse to throw a party. ANY excuse.
Yoga Fire, you’re a dhimmi! Just kidding, and Merry Christmas.
i like it. my parents made a proactive effort to minimize its celebration when i was a kid, but now they’ve gone over the green & red side 🙂 it’s the holiday of the majority of this nation, and most of its religious valence is totally gone (and as ennis points out that valence was imparted, not originally there), so i’ll celebrate it heartily with my kids. though my mantra is more than the season needs no reason, aside from the fact that we need one.
The holidays always get me uber excited. Break from school, from work, shitload of chocolates and goodies from customers (which we deserve for taking their daily crap), the entire city adorned with festive lights…As a child though, my mom practically killed Christmas for us, refusing to put up a tree because it would be wholly un-Islamic. I use to think santa didn’t show up because we didn’t have a tree or decorations. Gotta say though, made me stop believing in the old man wayyy before the other kids did. One day when i get my own place, i’m gonna make up for all those hopeless, wrecked christmases…one day!
I get labeled as a grinch this time of year, too, Ennis.
My family never celebrated Christmas. We would sometimes all get together because it was the one time of year our close relatives all had a day off at the same time. But there was no red/green/santa stuff. I liked having the chance to get with my family, but there was no “spirit of Christmas” about it. I just missed them. When my brother and I were very little, we would beg our mother just to get us a small tree – this was because we felt left out of all this fun we saw our classmates having and none of our holidays were celebrated with as much pomp and fun. She didn’t (“It’s not our holiday”) and now looking back I am glad that she didn’t give in. I’m still not happy with our lack of holiday traditions, but that’s our own family’s issues to work out. I hope to make Vaisakhi special for my own kids some day.
But what my mother said stuck with me – it isn’t my holiday. So why should I be forced to celebrate it? Why do my own people (Sikh/Punjabi/Desi/etc.) look at me like I’m crazy when I am not dressed up in Christmas colors at the party we all attend on Christmas Day? I’m not crazy about people in my parents’ prayer group wishing me a Merry Christmas, but I accept it with a smile and thank them because I know they are not celebrating the birth of Christ, but rather what they have come to feel is part of being an American.
However manufactured it is, it is still a Christian holiday. Or at the very least, it’s not a Sikh holiday. Or a Punjabi one. And no, I don’t feel like it’s an American one either just because everyone gets the day off. My family celebrates Thanksgiving and I observe Memorial Day/Veteran’s Day/President’s Day/Labor Day/etc. Many non-Christians in India celebrate Christmas, too, and they also look at me like I’m a jerk when I say I don’t celebrate it. Last time I went to India, my cousin had her patka-wearing brother dress up as Santa Claus for their country club’s Christmas party. Yes, it’s weird to me. What is everyone’s deal?! So many of my parents’ generation cry out for us American kids becoming too westernized and American, and losing our culture and religion. But I’m not allowed to feel uncomfortable when the Sikh prayer group is planning their Christmas party.
Again, it isn’t my holiday – but it might be someone else’s. So if all my Sikh friends grew up with Christmas trees and a tradition of opening presents and it’s that important of a holiday to them, that’s fine. Enjoy. But if I let you live, you should let me live, too.
@Ennis: Re Comment #10, “I still insist there’s no reason for people in supermarkets, car garages, etc. to insist on wishing a merry CHRISTMAS to somebody who is obviously not Christian.” By “obviously not Christian,” I hope you don’t mean brown, because that’s all kinds of wrong. This is the same kind of logic that Jehovah’s Witnesses use when they make an effort to pass their literature along especially to the brown person in the subway car because they figure the brown person isn’t Christian. :-S
@ Fuerza dulce: You don’t have to have any racial or cultural ties to a holiday to celebrate it. You could participate just because it gives people joy, and it will no doubt rub off on you, I think this applies to any kind of festival. It makes me really happy when non-Hindus participate in Diwali and especially Holi festivities at my university, so I feel welcomed when people wish me a merry Christmas. I’ve found it more fulfilling to add holidays rather to designate ‘yours’ or ‘mine’.
@Sharon: I’ve got a turban and a beard, and wear a kara. It’s not hard to figure out.
Yoga Fire wrote:
I’m glad to see that your family is so enthusiastic. On the other hand, my overworked parents don’t have the time or energy for such a celebration. They use this holiday as an opportunity to take a well-deserved break.
perhaps ennis is being mistaken for a greek orthodox priest. we all look alike.
Interesting article in NYTimes about comedian Dan Nainan and Christmas traditions…
It’s not like all those Christian families celebrating Christmas had nothing better to do.
If a celebration is stressing you out friend, you’re doing it wrong.
wtf?
Linus:
How do you get “basically accusing the jews of killing christ” out of THAT!!?!?!??!?!?
campmuir says:
ennes says:
good to know that the two of you will have each other for company in the overanalysis bunker.
All the Sikhs and Hindus I know celebrate Christmas with a slap up Christmas dinner, children and magical excitement for the kids, and general family get-together. Its a happy family time of year. Its great. Doesn’t mean you’re any less a Sikh or Hindu because you do indulge in the Xmas spirit.
@logic: Have you never heard of the War on Christmas? All of the conservatives who are strongly opposed to companies saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” because this takes the Christ out of Christmas, and promotes a multi-cultural secular agenda? Bill O’Reilly, Michelle Malkin, and various others have been going on about this for years. It’s overanalysis only if you agree with them or if you’ve totally ignored all of this.
I liked the holiday season much more when it was an open secular multicultural holiday, like when I was in elementary school.
@turnip: I happily participate in holidays from other traditions when I’ve got a choice. What I don’t like about Christmas is feeling like I don’t have a choice conjoined with the reminders by some that the only way to celebrate it is their way, the full on Christ thing. But I am an xmas grinch, no doubt about it. Bah Humbug and all of that.
BTW – how many of y’all are psyched for Kwanzaa now? I mean, shouldn’t all of these comments about enjoying a holiday just because it’s fun apply here? Or will you tell me now that Kwanzaa’s somebody else’s holiday and not really your thing?
ok, if your defense is that you are as batshit insane as oreilly and malkin and “various other” rightwing conservatives, that’s your prerogative.
what? kwanzaa is a fun holiday tradition here in the us? apparently i didnt get the memo.
How do you celebrate December 25?
Pliss to be expressing your vote.
But does it make me less of a nice/fun person or less of a person worth knowing if I don’t celebrate Xmas? Because I have to be honest, I’m pretty awesome.
One of the commenters above mentioned how they like it when non-Hindus like learning about Diwali and join in the festivities. That’s cool. But that’s different than what we’re talking about. I’m open to learning about other cultures, but my friends aren’t inviting me to learn about how their family celebrates Christmas or their culture overall in this scenario. I’m talking about just not wanting to celebrate it in my own home.
Neither Ennis nor any of the commenters saying they don’t celebrate Christmas ever said that those folks out there that do are worse/less brown/ignorant or anything of that sort. A lot of people inferred insult. Maybe it’s your own insecurity. When I say that I don’t celebrate Christmas, many people assume I’m trying to put down those who do. I’m not. I’m just stating a fact – that I don’t celebrate Christmas and that this time of year doesn’t hold anything special for me aside from maybe having a chance to see some extended family because we all have the same time off. And that is because of the reasons stated in my earlier comment. Do what you like, and I’ll do what I like.
interesting comments. Fuerza Dulce, your comment have been pretty subtle and i see you’re being even-handed. but if i didn’t read the whole comment i would have gotten a wrong impression 😉 as you say, live and let live. but something like this seems more strident than the rest of the comment i’m quoting from: However manufactured it is, it is still a Christian holiday. Or at the very least, it’s not a Sikh holiday. Or a Punjabi one.
i mean, i don’t agree that it’s “still a christian holiday.” it is for some people, but not many people. i know, because i’m not christian, nor “cultural christian,” and don’t have any religious feelings about christmas at al you probably know that the original “war against christmas” (using that specific title, anti-christmas campaigns sometimes sprouted up in the medieval world too, but not with that name) was by the puritans during the english civil war, so many christians thought it was fundamentally pagan. also, many ethnic punjabis in pakistan are christian, right? i guess you could say they’re not numerous enough, i don’t know. but bringing the ethnic element seems going a bit too far. very few ethnic groups have no believing christians among their numbers.
anyway, i stand by the right of people to be grinches or dissent from the celebration of christmas. it’s a big country, and we’re all entitled. just as i personally have embraced christmas despite the fact that my family is muslim and south asian (so it isn’t my “natal culture”), i embrace those who reject it for a variety of reasons too (i know atheists who feel it’s too christian, and plenty of jews, muslims, etc., as well as christians who feel it’s too pagan). shame on people who turn a season of goodwill into a cudgel for their own beefs! seems that the beefs aren’t with christmas as such (as noted in some of the comments), but with some of the “partisans” of the season (the same people would not doubt scold me for asserting the right to a non-christian christmas).
Razib:
The only reason I brought the ethnic element in is because it specifically relates to my personal reasons for not celebrating the holiday. It wasn’t meant to imply that Christmas is an ethnically specific holiday. People celebrate (and don’t celebrate) holidays for different reasons and as a result of different sentiments/attachment, depending often on how they identify themselves. I identify myself as American/Sikh/Punjabi (and a few other things). I celebrate Lohri sometimes and that’s as a result of my being Punjabi and has nothing to do with my American/Sikh side. I celebrate Vaisakhi as a Sikh holiday but others celebrate Vaisakhi as a cultural holiday.
That’s all it was 🙂
Y’all did a lousy job of observing the first day of Kwanzaa. Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.
I’m not a fan of “Happy Holidays!” if only because I would not like anyone saying that to me on Diwali.
@Amrita: What’s wrong with Happy Holidays? It’s inclusive and generic, and doesn’t presume which particular holiday you celebrate. It’s a greeting which is in the holiday spirit.
When I am living in India, I don’t feel any qualms about joining in the Holi or Diwali (etc) celebrations, but you are right that I probably would not necessarily celebrate this on my own (I wouldn’t really know how to celebrate without help at this point anyways!) But I do enjoy the communal celebrations– playing colors, or family gatherings, eating sweets.
But also, my friends in India are very sweet and always make sure to wish me a Merry Christmas or whatever holiday is happening in the U.S. This year my future-family-in-law made a special point to call and wish me a Happy Christmas, which I found very sweet and touching. I of course try to also call and wish them on their special occasions. I think one of the big differences here is that in India people are a lot more aware of holidays celebrated in other parts of the world, whereas Americans pretty much fail in that department. Maybe an episode of the Office gave them an idea that there is a holiday called Diwali, but I am not sure any of them would know to wish someone a happy Eid or Holi, or so on.
In that respect I would find it very annoying if people expected me to take part in Christmas without being bothered to find out about my own traditions.
@Amrita
True. It is not a holiday in US and if Diwali happens to fall in the month October then there is not much holiday spirit either. Often it is the opposite of holiday spirit as corporations are busy “managing costs” with layoffs to burnish Q4 numbers.
1) In India, christmas is a cool festival, emblematic of modernity and westernization. You demonstrate your personal sophistication and advancement by celebrating some little bit of christmas. In the indic traditions, celebrating yet another holy day has no negative meaning anyway. So that accounts for the behavior of Fuerza Dulce cousins/friends in india.
2) For immigrants from india, christmas is a pretty easy thing to assimilate into. Most indian immigrants have migrated for professional and educational advancement, if saying merry christmas helps with it, not a problem. In any case, the tail-wind from (1) also has an impact on their behavior.
3) For non-christian IBD’s things are no doubt quite different. Here you have a situation where you completely belong to this country, but your traditions may not be represented in the public square at all. You may be patronized/bullied as a child because of this difference. Your parents are likely immigrants, indian immigration is still pretty recent (mostly post-1965), so they may not have much of an idea how to help you negotiate this difference. Hence the slightly dyspeptic tone of some of the IBD comments vs. the whats the problem tone of the ABDs.
oops. reveral alert – I meant
Al beruni wrote:
I think you mean “non-christian ABD’s”, right?