Can I get one at the “As Seen on TV”-store at the Mall?

So Foursquare* isn’t rewarding me with any points for running around my city and worse than that, GMail is down (boo! et tu Goo?). What’s a web-addicted fool to do? Check her facebook, natch. It’s a good thing I did– because that’s where I saw this:

Posted by SM reader Jisha to her feed, I found the narrator’s sorority accent to be soothingly familiar, as she gushed about the very things I love to mock: Starbuck’s redundantly-named and poorly-made “Chai tea latte“, scam-y scientology…and movies about schlubby guys who miraculously pull hot chicks.

Judging from their comments below it, Jisha’s friends weren’t feeling the clip (I believe the word “weird” was offered as a reaction). I think it’s funny. Props to Lindsay Gareth and Kosha Patel, who did such a cute job with this spoof that I can almost overlook the use of “a” instead of “an” in “1-800-uh-Indian”. Almost. Every time she intones that number, all I can think of is “An, an, AN, damnit, AN!” And yes, I know that they were probably prioritizing having seven digits over preventing glottal stops, but still. Does anyone have $19.95 which they can spot me? Like J. Wellington Wimpy, “I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a Indian today”.

*location-based social networking, much like the now-deceased Dodgeball. There’s a brown connection which I may write about, if I ever get through my current backlog of blogging. ;)

32 thoughts on “Can I get one at the “As Seen on TV”-store at the Mall?

  1. very very funny, reminded of the scene in bend it like beckham when kiera knightly’s mum goes “oh look, its your indian friend” haha. love it when she pushes the gay guy in the pool. $19.95 is a bloody good bargain.

    SM with your mutineers you got a wide range of prime stock across the globe, Money to be made!!

  2. Loved

    1 The shot of her pushing the gay guy into the pool so quickly.

    2 The expression on the Indian girl’s face right at the end.

    At first I thought that white girl was Chelsea Handler (from Chelsey Lately). What was this made for, and who is the youtube persona “Laactor4u” ?

  3. I can almost overlook the use of “a” instead of “an” in “1-800-uh-Indian”. Almost. Every time she intones that number, all I can think of is “An, an, AN, damnit, AN!” And yes, I know that they were probably prioritizing having seven digits over preventing glottal stops, but still.

    I’m not clicking on it because i’m scared, but i note that 1-800-INDIANS would get you seven digits. Would it not work in context?

  4. Hilarious, except that affirmative action part is sore spot for me…one of my Indian friends got a letter that seriously informed her she was not accepted to a program because they wanted to make room for “deserving students from underrepresented groups” . I support affirmative action, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a case in which it benefited South Asians.

  5. Affirmative Action does not benefit Asian Americans, actually statistically it has helped more women then people of color.

  6. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a case in which it benefited South Asians.
    Affirmative Action does not benefit Asian Americans, actually statistically it has helped more women then people of color.

    Yeah. We all know that. That’s why it was funny, in the video.

  7. Hilarious, 19.95 is perfect. On a(n) unrelated note, I had two misconceptions about Anna 1. Initially i thought Anna is a south Indian male (before seeing the photo) 2. Then i thought the model wearing sari in her blog as Anna :-)

  8. “Yeah. We all know that. That’s why it was funny, in the video”

    no not exactly. I think in the video the crux of the joke is that having an Indian friend gives you access to claim “ethnic” status, the rest of the video makes jokes with that very premise (yoga, tantric sex, etc…) Yet, not every Indian knows, or does those things.

    I had real experience with this, I knew a white person who essentially was looking for a minority person to attach to her writing project, just so she can claim it was a “minority” project, basically using it as window dressing. She said, “with all the minority assistance out there, she had no choice” I told her to go take psoralen like this guy and it will solve all her not-being-a-minority problems.

  9. Good God! Did someone express a preference for the Blonde over the Indian? Alert the Race Police! Didn’t you learn anything from the thread a few days ago? Never ever even think that a fairer-skinned person can be better looking than a darker-skinned person.

    That said, hilarious ad.

  10. Bluebulb, I’m glad you found the video to be hilarious. I did, too. :) As for the beginning of your comment, I think it’s easy to be flippant about a very real and regressive issue. Everyone sentient knows that “alerting the race police” is not what that thread was about.

    Pcp, I’ll never know if it was “100x times better” or funnier, because I wanted to kill myself after the first 35 seconds of ridiculously slow, jerky text attempting to roll on screen. :( It’s easy to be blase about a video like “1-800″, but the thing is, (and as you acknowledged) the other video is not as professionally done. That makes a huge difference (and not just to me). I watched Kosha’s video three times before blogging it, because it was a pleasure to do so. I couldn’t even get past the intro to the one you mentioned. Finally, we do take suggestions. :) Please email us!

    Akash, those ARE pictures of me at the end, wearing kanjeevaram, in that post. :)

    Dr. Amonymous, then you could have lawsuits over the pluralization, and how it implies receiving more than one Indian, for the price. ;) You should watch the video, if you are ever inclined. It’s cute.

    suede, I’m not a “nazi”-anything, friend. ;) Also, I initially linked to the wrong video– I’m afraid the person you asked about might have stolen it. Lindsay and Kosha have other parody videos (including a take on “j*zz in my pants”) which have been featured on Funny or Die, etc. I think they might be comediennes. :)

    Pravin, do you know of a video along the same lines, which is more “outrageous” or funnier? I’d love to see it– we all might.

    Phillygrrl, I want a Pakistani friend. Deal? :)

  11. Most of the snarks should try making their own stuff and put it out there before being so harsh.

    All hail the power of Google – she is indeed a comedienne:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05rgToTQMYk

    Puke in my Mouth video is not bad either.

    She’s a pretty good stand up – very natural, conversational style – not ‘insert punchline here’.

  12. Akash, those ARE pictures of me at the end, wearing kanjeevaram, in that post. :)

    Damn! My vote for the most beautiful blogger in the world :-) You should consider changing your line of work to modeling.

  13. Off-topic comments will be deleted. Hint: it is not on-topic to ask why you were deleted. If you cannot respect this request, this thread will be closed.

  14. I too was totally thinking a couple of free doctor cousins were going to be pulled out of the bushes. The choice of monsoon wedding music was also good.

  15. Ok, then I will repeat my original comment (which I believe is on topic)

    The 1-800 video is lazy in its construction because it simply rehashes out already known stereotypes, and doesn’t evoke them in any clever way either. While it’s more professionally done than the video I linked, I dont see that as a ‘huge difference’ for an under 5 minute web video, The second video’s premise is far more intelligent, and clever, using the same infomercial comic satire (which is why I linked it, it is relevant in that way), even if the makers of the second video added an unecessary 35 second intro – which one could argue with the music chosen, was done deliberately to create a sense of space, slowness and sadness.

    In my opinion, a professionally done video lacking content, means the makers simply had more resources at their disposal, money, time etc.., not necessarily talent or creativity.

    Also, in my opinion, the video can be easily duplicated with any ethnicity, 1-800-A CHINESE, 1-800-A MEXICAN, 1-800-A FILIPINO, etc… and just trot out the stereotypes associated with that race. Also, I still re-iterate my claim that it needlessly uses sexuality by having the blonde woman wear a bikini, and does it simply to get more viewers, without being funny. It makes it a pleasure to watch in one way, but not by making me laugh. Again, this is just my opinion.

    -I also still find it to be somewhat hypocritical to agree that harsh comments are unwarranted, but make harsh comments oneself, I also believe this point to be on topic, as the harsh comments that were labelled as unwarranted were specifically directed to the 1-800 video, the subject of the post. It looks like you’re supporting harshness against things you do not like, but all of a sudden agree that it shouldn’t be levied against things you do like, unless people have tried to “make stuff of their own”


    Also, and I hope this question does not make this post “off-topic” but is there an avenue to request why comments were removed (when I believe they were on topic?), if not directly on the thread itself? If there is no avenue to make such a request, then I am sorry for making such a request, and will not do so in the future. I hope none of these comments violate SM policy, as they only are reflectant of my opinion, and not intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable or uneasy, nor cause any form of stress or distress, in any way, shape or form to person or persons reading it.

  16. Dr. Amonymous, then you could have lawsuits over the pluralization, and how it implies receiving more than one Indian, for the price. ;)

    You only get one?! I’m surprised there isn’t a wholesale deal. By the way, I still haven’t watched the video, so, as usual, I don’t know what I’m talking about :) Are we talking ‘Indian’ like ‘Go for an English’ or ‘Indian’ like someone from India?

  17. With over a billion of (Desis) around, there’s plenty of us to go around. With the exception of identical twins/triplets/etc, we are uniquely made and crafted. So there is an Indian out there that is just right for you. (Starting to sound like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The Papa Indian was too hard, the Mama Indian was too soft, but the baby Indian was just right…)

    Back in 1995 in a small southern Indiana plastics factory (not south India), one of my husband’s engineering colleague mentioned he wanted his own “Indian”. As in an Indian engineer to work for his team because the few Indian engineers in that plastics plant were the cream of the crop in their fields, better educated and delivered outstanding results, etc. This spoof of the infomercial reminded me of that guy.

  18. In my opinion, this spoof is very clever and hilarious.

    It mocks infomercials and pokes fun at how superficial and fickle people can be. Advertisers try to feature a token minority in their ads. Maybe even a few people want to be seen with a brown/black/etc to prove that they are not racist or whatever . ( But mostly, I have seen many of my own Indian relatives bending backwards, putting on horrendously fake American accents to please/make friends/impress/etc the locals. That’s another story, though.) Indian culture (movies, clothes styles, henna tatoos, etc.) in the USA goes in and out of style, I guess. According to the “infomercial”, it must be in for now.

  19. pcps, please go away. The reason no one is answering you is because you’re taking issue with things which weren’t even said, and you had to write four epic comments to do it. You went crazy and they deleted those comments and now you’re back and STILL harping on the same shit. No one likes that guy. Not even you. You ruined this thread.