When you’re visibly pregnant and riding the NYC subway with a book titled “Family Planning” in hand, you’re bound to draw stares and curious gazes. Such was my experience earlier this month as I traveled on the downtown 1 with 25 year old Karan Mahajan’s laughter-inducing yet tender first novel in hand. In this Brooklyn-based, New Delhi-born author’s debut work (HarperPerennial, 2008) set in contemporary New Delhi, family life, politics, adolescent love, and prime time soap operas intertwine in entertaining and unexpectedly moving ways. 
At the heart of this story is the chaotic household of Rakesh Ahuja, a hard of hearing, America returned engineer who holds a prestigious position as New Delhi’s Minister of Urban Development. Apart from the bureaucratic and political challenges that face him at work (he’s in charge of a laborious flyover construction project and part of a political party that sponsors intolerable bills such as the Diversity of the Motherland Act which calls for the compulsory registration of all Muslims “for reasons of diversity and national security”), Rakesh is beset by his own personal dramas at home.
The father of 13 children (and one more en route), he must deal with the trauma of having had his teenage son Arjun walk in on him having sex with his wife in the baby nursery. Understandably, Arjun asks, “Papa, I don’t understand–why do you and Mama keep having babies?”
While he has to figure out a way to explain himself to his son (“Obviously, Mr. Ahuja couldn’t tell his son that he was only attracted to Mrs. Ahuja when she was pregnant” reads the first line of the novel), this is not the only secret Mr. Ahuja has been keeping from his son, master babysitter and eldest of 12 younger siblings and darling of his mother, Mrs. Ahuja, an unattractive woman whose days are spent changing diapers, managing her vast household, knitting, and recovering from the loss of her favorite TV character Mohan Bedi from Zee-TV soap opera, “The Vengeful Daughter-in-Law.” There’s also the bit of information about Rakesh’s first wife, Arjun’s mother, who suffered a tragic death and who continues to haunt his unhappy existence. Meanwhile there’s Arjun, an awkward teen so madly in love with Aarti, a Catholic school beauty who rides the morning bus with him that he’ll do anything to get her attention–even start a rock band with a bunch of classmates.
Yes, there’s a great deal happening in Mahajan’s novel; many competing heartbreaks and dramas. And yet, as a reader, I was pulled in just as much by Mahajan’s observant and sensitive eye as I was by his ability to create satirical scenarios that reflect some of the complexities and paradoxes of social and political life in today’s India.
Read the rest of this review and a Q&A with Mahajan, whose sense of humor is as refreshing in the interview format as it is in his prose, below the fold. None of the Ahuja family’s plans go quite right during the course of this tale. When Minister Ahuja writes his resignation letter to protest the “Diversity of the Motherland Act,” he expects to be supplicated to stay in his position. Quite the opposite. He discovers that his authority means little in a system wrought with personal power struggles. As for Arjun, his rock band has its own set of challenges, not the least of which is the fact that none of its members can really carry a tune. And, Mrs. Ahuja watches as her eldest son assumes the persona of a “stepson” and distances himself from the rest of the family.
If you’re in the midst of stocking your summer bookshelves (or perhaps are looking for something to read during the ongoing Indian elections?) and want a book that manages to be both humorous and insightful, “Family Planning” may well be for you. While offering us a charming comic tale of crossed wires and family drama, Mahajan simultaneously (and subtly) examines the theme of power — the power that is wielded in the outside world versus what is wielded at home; the power parents wield against children versus what children wield against parents; and the power politicians wield against citizens versus the power wielded by politicians against their very own.
Q&A with Karan Mahajan
Q. You describe the experience of discovering a school of Indian authors once you came to college in the US and describe your childhood reading as a “fairly standard colonial diet of Enid Blytons, P.G. Wodehouses, and Agatha Cristies.” What was it like to come upon novels by Indian voices when you did? How did that shape or inspire you as a writer?
I only began reading Indian writers after I went to the US for college, and my approach to them was very argumentative: I saw in 
their way of relating to western readers–whether through cultural exposition, exoticism, Indian-isms, or a complete denial of the issue of audience altogether–strains of my own (initial) discomfort about being a foreigner in the US. Which is why it was thrilling to read Rushdie, Narayan, and Naipaul in close succession. These writers had solved the problem of audience by being utterly singular, and pouring their self-consciousness into style and story, and the lessons I learned from them are invaluable. I read them now as I did then because they are brilliant writers, not because they have Indian surnames.
Q. Would you describe the literary scene in India today as different than what you were exposed to during your childhood? What are your observations about your generation of Indian writers?
Great question. There are just so many Indian writers in English now. It drives me crazy. I want to be special again.
But in all seriousness, Indian writing in English is much more of a homegrown phenomenon than it was in the past, and this means that we’re going to see fresh writing come out of the provinces in addition to the metropolises. Many of these writers will be writing for an Indian audience, and this will mean that they can be far more topical and contextual in their subject matter. But I can’t make any guesses about the quality or universality of these books.
Q. The novel is about the English-speaking middle class (of which you are a part), but from what I understand you have no connection to political life. What were the opportunities and challenges of writing a novel about a political figure, set in a subculture of which you were not a part?
The main challenge was being authentic about the milieu without being constrained by reality. I find among Indian writers and editors a complete mania for authenticity: they’d rather describe with painful exactitude a religious ritual or the passage of a Parliamentary bill rather than alter details to suit their story, and I wanted to know enough about politics to take liberties with it. So I took the usual steps: I researched, I interviewed, I eavesdropped, I Googled, and then I threw it all away and did exactly what I pleased. I write fiction, not documentary, and I want to keep the world safe for fabricators.
Q. American educated, Indian returned administrative official and politicians like Rakesh Ahuja are rare, are they not? Do you know any? 🙂
I wish I knew some! But a lot of politicians—Nehru, Manmohan Singh, even the aspiring Shashi Tharoor—have had stints abroad and there’s the recent trend of IIT graduates starting their own idealistic political parties, and so the idea of the America-returned political animal didn’t seem totally implausible. That was my point from the outset: to insert a man with the qualifications of a Rajiv-Gandhi-crony into present-day Parliament, and to see how he’d use his “outsider” status effectively, or, as in the case, of Mr. Ahuja, ineffectively, by descending into hubris and trying to impose an upper-middle-class idea of order on a crazed city.
Q. The book, you say, “began with the question: what in the world would prompt a middle-class couple in contemporary, urban India to have a large family?” Though you were aiming not to perpetrate stereotypes, isn’t the stereotype of the large Indian family and lack of family planning in India is one that exists in the West?
I’d disagree that it’s a stereotype, but even if it is one, I go to great lengths to paint the family as unique in its strangeness and dysfunction.
Q. Writing about sex and sexual dysfunction: Was that something you consciously set out to do? What do you anticipate the response will be to these themes in India when your book is published there? Were editors in India open or skeptical?
It’s difficult to say, but I do think people will have a hard time with the book, and many will dismiss it as unsavory. Uncles and aunties will talk about me behind my back, and say, “Look what happens when you people send your children to US.” Offers of arranged marriage will be withdrawn. My mother and father, ever supportive, will be mercilessly interrogated. Eventually I hope there will be book-burnings.
There are things about my book, looking back, that I would perhaps do differently–I started writing it when I was twenty–but the sexual content is not one of those things. I am drawn to writing about the private lives of individuals; I want to burst through their doors and into their bedrooms. And that desire is enhanced by the fact that there is almost no serious discourse about sex or sexual dysfunction or gender dynamics in middle-class Indian media, and that books, written by individuals, free from the snarl of commerce or committees, allow us to say things that TV or film simply cannot.
Whether anyone wants to hear these things is another matter.
congratulations.
🙂 I had a friend (of a friend) who looked forward to his wife’s pregnancies because he rather enjoyed the taste of the wife’s milk. ah the verld ve liu in.
It’s awesome that he’s bringing sex into the Indian dialogue — it’s a topic that needs to be tackled, as well as the topics of birth control and children in Indian society. Kudos to him!
Plant!
Excellent interview. Love the author’s approach to research, life and writing. Hope I can find this book in India. Don’t believe I’ve seen it in bookstores, yet.
Oh definitely. Because those topics have never been addressed before.
This seems like bit of a stereotype; I still remember the jokes and comments about ‘convent-school educated’ girls when I was a teenager; seemed to be more a product of male imagination rather than anything based on real life from what I could see.
The author says there isn’t any “serious discourse” of these issues in what he calls the “Indian middle class media”. I am not sure I agree entirely with him but then I don’t know what he means by ‘serious discourse’ there certainly is a fair amount of ‘sex-talk’ how much of it is serious, is debatable. Probably isn’t a lot of talk about sexual dysfunctions but then this is true of most societies.
How refreshing, a smart funny guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously.
It’s not like they don’t exist. We should read the book first and see how the subject is handled before pulling the stereotype card. A hack writer will wallow in cliches and a good one will rise above. Based on what I’ve read so far, Mahajan seems to be in the latter group.
I was actually being sarcastic. If the “Popular links” sections in the Times of India are any indication, there is no shortage of chatter about sex over in the Desh. Now that I’m older my parents and their friends have also become more comfortable about discussing “saucier” topics of conversation in my presence and these are mostly pretty conservative folks.
I’m guessing that a lot of my ideas about how conservative my parents and pals in the motherland are come from the fact that they were filtering what they said around me and my buddies when we were children.
Gorbag on May 7, 2009 10:48 PM · Direct link
Planted by whom?
Not really in my experience but I am happy to conceed that this would be a limited sample to draw from
Perhaps, I am not making any claims on Mahajan as a writer but that is a pretty basic stereotype in India, could be that Mahajan does something interesting with it but it is impossible for him not to have known what he was tapping into; though the description is not his or lifted ad verbatim from the novel but the poster’s so I could have missed something.
.
Yes, but are these really “serious discussions” just seems the kind of prurient rubbish you see in a lot of papers beloved of the chattering classes. I don’t think this always conceals a more hyprocritical attitude.The ToI has got a lot more flashy and gossipy in this areas since the 90s anyway.
Well, that is your experience. I come from a fairly young generation but these aren’t topics I discuss with my parents or their friends; I can discuss them with my friends in India but I wouldn’t bring it up when the wives of my friends are present, neither will my friends. I don’t think we are too untypical, though most of us are lower middle-class, rather than ‘middle-class’ per se which may have an impact. Public discussion of these topics are still quite rare outside closed social circles, even in the metros imo.
It’s a serious as discussions tend to get in the Indian media at least. That is to say, not very much at all, but I have never had high expectations.
They don’t go into detail, but I don’t believe it would be appropriate for them to do so either. Just the occasional slightly dirty joke that they either would have reined in or I was too naive to pick up on as a child.
This seems perfectly appropriate to me. The only thing I would be concerned about is an environment where the only discussion of sex that ever happens is that which people get through mass media where it is being mentioned because the titillation and shock value sells rather than with the intention of having a mature discussion about the topic.
I am probably nitpicking here, “Diversity of the Motherland Act which calls for the compulsory registration of all Muslims “for reasons of diversity and national security” – will never ever happen in India or any country where the Muslims form a significant part of the voter base.
There are more than enough of quirks in Indian government offices that I wish he had picked up a real indian one than taking an US government quirk.
I read that as the RESIGNATION of all Muslims and thought it did not make sense in relation to the rest of the sentence. You know, like all Muslim politicians would have to resign for “reasons of diversity…”
India has up until now failed to have any sort of registration for all or a major portion of its citizens. The country just does not work that way.
Yep, this book is truly a work of fiction. LOL!
A while ago, Karan made a list of rock bands for NYT that were popular in India, and influenced him. I really enjoyed his list, and had a lot of kernel of truth.
I agree that in a fiction, author should have the freedom to make stuff, and not necessarily be a documentary person.
However, there are few things either Karan is off, or Sandhya is posing a wrong question regarding ruling class of India, or the fabric of India.
Like,
Q. American educated, Indian returned administrative official and politicians like Rakesh Ahuja are rare, are they not? Do you know any? 🙂
I wish I knew some! But a lot of politiciansâ€â€-Nehru, Manmohan Singh, even the aspiring Shashi Tharoorâ€â€-have had stints abroad and there’s the recent trend of IIT graduates starting their own idealistic political parties, and so the idea of the America-returned political animal didn’t seem totally implausible. That was my point from the outset: to insert a man with the qualifications of a Rajiv-Gandhi-crony into present-day Parliament, and to see how he’d use his “outsider� status effectively, or, as in the case, of Mr. Ahuja, ineffectively, by descending into hubris and trying to impose an upper-middle-class idea of order on a crazed city.
Fact: At one point, a good majority of the front line (the ones who pulled the plug) Indian politicians were British and later it would become US educated – starting from Gandhi, Jinnah, Nehru, Ambedkar (Columbia U. PhD), Sardar Patel (a graduate of Middle Temple)……to Indira Gandhi, Rajiv, Rahul Gandhi (they might have not completed their degrees at Cambridge or Harvard), Ajit Singh (Charan Singh’s son who himself was rustic, farmer politician), and many more……….to recent ones like Subramanyam Swamy, Arun Shourie, Chindanbram, Sachin Pilot, Milind Deora, and the Abdullah, or Scindhia family clan. Same goes in Pakistan (look at Bhutto family clan), and also African and even South American countries. Early civil servants (when it was ICS) were mostly (not all) British educated because that would make them competitive or fit (in the eyes of British) for the ICS exams. Sure, when it became IAS/ IFS, then most of them were educated from India, but even then from very anglicised colleges, like St. Stephen’s College. A British and American education has never stopped anyone from becoming entrenched in the system or become corrupt later.
Even a lot of science and engineering leaders of India were/ are British or US educated. Look at the resume of people like Homi J. Bhaba, Vikram Sarabhai, CNR Rao. Check out the CVs of past and present directors of IITs, and IISc.
Even in modern India literature, sex is written a lot, and is led by no one other than, dirty old man, and a great man of letters: Khushwant Singh. Shoba De is there, Amrita Pritam or even Arundhati Roy (when she wrote fiction).
In the end, in India (unlike US of A), registration of any kind is never implemented, and even if, it becomes an utter failure. It goes against the choatic culture there.
Anyway, all the best to you.
Well, if one is going to be looking for serious discussions on social issues; the ToI would not be my first port of call.
Well, that isn’t even a discussion, much less a ‘serious discussion’. I get the feeling gender plays a role here; most parents would be more reluctant to mention/discuss these things in front of their daughters rather than their sons; but this is just a rough impression.
This seems perfectly appropriate to me. The only thing I would be concerned about is an environment where the only discussion of sex that ever happens is that which people get through mass media where it is being mentioned because the titillation and shock value sells rather than with the intention of having a mature discussion about the topic.
I agree with your description of the existing state of play; but I think a more open and frank discussion would be a positive development. I don’t think it will be our generation that experiences this, but the next.
Well, one can say several things about Khushwant Singh and Shoba De; I don’t think anyone would accuse them of being part of the “serious discourse on sex” though. Roy is an a partial exception because of the particular sexual incident covered in her book and the themes it arouses, but I would only add that novelists of this calibre do cover sex in their works as Salman Rushdie and Vikram Seth have but these would be read by a relatively small group of people within India.
I don’t think anyone would accuse them of being part of the “serious discourse on sex” though.
Serious or not, Khushwant Singh stands as a trail brazer in talking about what happens in the bedroom in India, and this starts from his earliest works onwards. but these would be read by a relatively small group of people within India.
Have you ever stood in front of a Railway station or Bus station book-stand, and looked at the offerings there…..the stalls is full of smut in local languages, and in angrezi too. Debonair was 50 years before Maxim got to Indian market.
This is true.
I really don’t understand why you are grouping Singh with Shoba De. Khuswant Singh has always been at the forefront of challenging the prudishness and taboos that relegates discussions of sexuality in India into the ‘shame-shame’ corner of the room. He is forthright and humorous and quick to deride the hypocrisies in India over sex and sexuality.
Being serious about the discourse over sex doesn’t mean writing arid dissertations about it.
Shobha De, though a fiction writer primarily, has given non-fiction a good shot with her light but serious book SPOUSE, which deals with the dynamics of marital relationships in contemporary India. Of course it deals a bit with sexuality as well.
I don’t think there has ever been a shortage of Indian books with sex in them. However, conversations about the same are something else. However, you will get the “does your husband keep you happy” question when riding second class tier on the desi train from the nosy auntie sitting across from you. We all know what she means by “happy”. LOL!
Let me give a simple example:
In a landmark Supreme court case in India: Playboy (you could buy it anywhere in Chandini Chowk anyway), Lawrence’s Lady Chatterly Lover, and some other books were banned. This does not mean you could not buy them in India. I bought Lolita and Arthur Miller’s work in India as a teenager. My parents had a copy of Lady Chatterly Lover. Some of these books were banned in Amrika too.
Now let’s come to Lady Chatterly’s Lover, one of the Indian folklore story is almost the same – with a younger wife having a secret affair with someone she gives alms too. Now, the poet laureate of India, RabindraNath Tagore touched sex with more sensitivity than most will ever. Case in point, Chokher Bali. Same about ** Ghare Baire **. What about Munshi Permchand’s ** Shantranj ka khilari ** (the book is about obsession, and yearning of a neglected wife).
Look around please.
I really wish comenters in general, removed their horse blinds and looked around with an open eye. It is quite becoming emblematic of blogosphere as a whole.
I meant: Henri Miller’s work
How do you have a serious discussion about an activity that is inherently non serious?
What is this guy trying to achieve through this book? If it is purely fictional I dont have any compulsion in admitting that this literature holds no value for us Indians.
There are many taboos in India. They are meant to keep the society in an order. Once they are broken, the demons starts taking shape. Some parts of this country are ultra conservative. Making inroads through books, electronic and print media, and other ways will make a terrible unhealthy impact on the people.
The educated who are supposed to be enlightened should solve the problems more intelligently rather than through making some cheap literary work. Fictional work becomes useless if they dont convey some meaningful message to the readers. The intentions for any literature is make a society in these dark ages (kali-yuga) healthier and to protect the dharma. Any thing far from it is a compromise. And compromising on truth is not what is needed in these times.
So Dharmachakra you’re basically saying that fiction righters have an ethical obligation to promote their own moral standards through their literature? Nobody should write a book just because writing is an enjoyable hobby for them and they like to create characters?
/So Dharmachakra you’re basically saying that fiction righters have an ethical obligation to promote their own moral standards through their literature? / Yes, fictional writers should maintain some ethical standards. Be it in creating characters, stories etc. They cannot cross the line for what ever reasons. There are rules and regulations for every thing (living and non-living) in this world. Then why shouldn’t we have them even for writing. You cannot write whatever you feel like? I also feel that creativity is a double edged sword. Negative creativism has created a terrible destruction to this humanity, at the same time positive creativity has pushed humanity to greater lengths in moral and ethical development. But where does “Family planning†measure in that scale. What should I infer from such a cheap literature? Look at some sentences which made my jaws drop for a conservative guy like me.
The moral standards of the writer need to be in union with the universal moral standards, especially if anyone is writing relating to human beings. How can a writer create characters because he feels that they are justifying his morals and ethics? Don’t they understand that a pen is mightier than sword, and it will poke deep into the hearts of the reader? Don’t they keep readers in mind? / Nobody should write a book just because writing is an enjoyable hobby for them and they like to create characters?/ I always said that one should write good literature, be it fiction and non-fiction. Look at Sherlock Holmes The Hound of the Baskervilles, Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock, the third wave, Ayn Rands Atlas Shrugged, Vince Flynns Transfer of Power, Consent to kill, and many numerous others. Even characters like Tin-Tin, Tom and Jerry, Popeye are marvelous creations. Why can’t writers create something like that? The character Popeye had made children to eat spinach. Look at characters like Robocop.
In India look at the legendary Panchatantra stories, magazines like Chandamama [esp: Baital Pachisi (stories of King VikramÄditya and Vetala)] and many other writing. Most of them are fictitious. But what kind of literature is the present citizens producing in India. Look at the so-called booker prize winners and their books “The God of Small Thingsâ€, “The Inheritance of Lossâ€, and “The White Tigerâ€. Do they even deserve to be called as humans? “ In “The God of Small Things†look at how simply she handles on incest. Even western people treat incest as taboo. “The Inheritance of Loss†shows how much the book has negatively stereotyped the Indian Nepalese people. And the less said than better about the book “The White Tigerâ€. It is just a piece of crap. Read this for more information: http://satyameva-jayate.org/2009/04/30/the-brown-parrot/
I don’t know when is the last time an Indian born writer or atleast an author of Indian origin has written completely positive about India and its people. This civilization is under attack from many sides. The capitalist greedy people seeing the wealth of India looted this country just 60 years back. They brainwashed a hell number of people and are giving prizes to them. Look at the model of booker prize. It is a prize only for Commonwealth of Nations (former parts on British Empire) which is presented by Man Group of London, UK. They subjugated even educationally, by introducing the western form of education, and totally annihilating the gurukul system.
What kind of respect should I have for writers like these, who give a damn about this country and its people? Don’t they understand the mindset of the people? Atleast they don’t have guts like Salman Rushdie, to write books like Midnight Children and The Satanic Verses.
gobsmacked.
“…I am drawn to writing about the private lives of individuals…†People up-thread chose to ignore this and jump straight to sax and violins. It’s one thing to take issue w/ Mahajan’s comment, but some of you are letting too much blood rush to your, uh, heads. To the writers mentioned above one can add Manto (sorta Indian) and Tendulkar, there are many more. It is an impressive list — of dead writers. The middle-class media he referred to, isn’t exactly flooded w/ works like Portnoy’s Complaint, is it? Let’s not confuse serious discourse with nudie glossies, glorified toilet wall graffitis of De and latter-day Singh, and every Rs. 99 paperback.
To dharmachakra , “It is perfectly alright to let moral standards decline in real life, but god forbid should they ever get mentioned in art.†Sarcastic remark made in 60s by a famous Indian writer, a Padmabhushan yet. Look him up.
I acknowledged the pruruient stuff which even the mainstream media has been purveying for some time; I don’t think it comes under the rubric of serious discourse and it certainly doesn’t mean that these issues are discussed openly. In many north Indian villages, amongst peer gathering that are all male, the talk is quite blue and crude; this means nothing as it is hardly something common just to India and isn’t the point that either I or the author was making.
Are you serious? Availability isn’t the same thing as dissemination and FFS how many people in India would ever read Lady Chatterly’s Lover; I don’t even know many people in England that have read it outside Eng Lit. Classes.
I think you need to get a grip here; Ghaire Baire, is about relationships between men and women and gender roles but it contains about as much sex as Pride and Prejudice or Wuthering Heights does. The same can be said for Shatranj ki Khilari, which is actually a short story not really a book, and which I don’t think is really about the yearning of the wife; women don’t have much of a direct voice in this story and while sensuality is mentioned, it is meant as a backdrop for the decadence of the Oudh court not as part of the subject matter of the story itself, which concentrates very much on other themes.
I heartily agree with this statement; people seem to be confusing the availability of sexually explicit material; with a serious discussion about sex/sexual dysfunctions etc. – in a way that isn’t just confined to people of the same gender or age group. I am not arguing for a repressive hypothesis; post-Foucault, I think we know an enormous amount can be written on sex even in societies that don’t really have open and frank discussions on the subjects like the Victorians; but I think we could do with a franker and more serious discourse on it in India. I have no idea whether Mahajan will contribute to that or not but I do think it is a desirable thing in itself.
I would like to also remind people to simmer down, books are not easy to write, and I’m sure this author didn’t give an interview for naysayers to make up their mind about something he likely spent months sending a manuscript back and forth to an editor, and agonizing over.
Also I noticed Manto was mentioned, who is a great writer I have to rep as the resident Pakistani. Mantorama and Mantonama are two big collections of his stories in Urdu, though I’m sure they’ve been translated into Hindi. Also, letters to uncle sam Manto wrote in English, and many of his stories are translated. Check out Kala Shalwaar.
Sex is around in Indian Literature..and not that surprisingly in the native languages as well..It is just done in a victorian manner because the sensitivities of the over religiously jealous uneducated majority demand it that way..I have read sex in Saddhu Biining’s work, although not profane..and in Roop Dhillon’s Canadian Gangster the word “Nangi” was used, which offended some people as it was so unsubtle…still fo rthe land which produced the Gentleman’s guide ” Kama Sutra”, one would have thought that sex is no problem….but clearly it is
And yes Manti dealt with it all before in urdu and Punjabi..his Toba Tek Singh is famous..and he was taken to court for obsenity many times…
Kush Tandon:
Debonair was 50 years before Maxim got to Indian market.
Debonair. That word does not mean what you think it means.
Debonair. That word does not mean what you think it means. Debonair was the only over the counter English sorta of laddie magazine in India for a long time, now, with the advent of more competition (like Maxim and all), it is now floundering.
Let’s not confuse serious discourse with nudie glossies, glorified toilet wall graffitis of De and latter-day Singh, and every Rs. 99 paperback.
Neither is any place anywhere. I just checked the local gas station in Houston, and local book store too.
I’ve not read Family Planning, so I can’t say what measure on my own personal scale it weighs in on. Have you read it? Which sentences made your jaw drop?
What are some of these universal moral standards that speak of? I’ve been all over this planet and the only moral standard that seem to be universal is “no sex with immediate family members”. Other than that specific taboo, every culture and even every individual I come across has very different moral standards.
Did girls attend gurukula during the heyday of that system? From all historical accounts that I’ve read, the answer is no. So if the next system came in and gave systematic education to girls, I say its an improvement.
Almost ten days back I borrowed this book from my friend. I am skimming his library and took few books in which this is one. I read the back cover and was enthusiastic what a guy from Stanford University had in this one. I have read only the first chapter “Question Hour†and I felt so irritating, and couldn’t bare the perversion of the book. The first page itself is sufficient to turn it down. Here are few sentences, paragraphs from the book.
Page 1: Obviously, Mr. Ahuja—Minister of Urban Development—couldn’t tell his son that he was only attracted to Mrs. Ahuja when she was pregnant. That he liked the smooth, alien bulge of her stomach or the tripled heartbeat when they made love, silently, shifting over each other. That the faint fetal heartbeat ran under the speeding pulses of man and wife, calming him, holding him back from instant climax. Or even more fantastically, how, at times, he could imagine the unborn eyes of the fetus watching him, pleading for another sibling—begging, sobbing, moaning through the parched throat of his wife . . .
Page 2-3: So he said, “Son, I told you about the Yograj Commission findings, correct? Then? You know I’m not a fanatic, but findings were hundred percent clear. We need more Hindus in India.” “So I’m—we’re—just a political cause for you?” asked Arjun, twisting his neck to peer sidelong at his father.
“No, son. But you know how it is—these Muslims have so many wives, and their families keep growing and what are we Hindus—”
(Goddamn politicians want goddamn Hindus goddamn fuck fuck). Then again, the skill was practically useless in his house where even the most regular conversation with his half—deaf Papa was—to Papa—a muttering under the breath.
Page 5: For instance: last night, for exactly 1.67 seconds, at 23:35 hours Indian Standard Time he had walked in on his parents doing it in the nursery. There in the cleft between the three cribs on the pinkish floor lay Mama on her back in a polka-dotted nighty, Papa bubbling uncertainly beyond her huge stomach, the papery jaws of his pajamas famished around his ankles. The four babies in their cribs were screaming; Mr. Ahuja twisted his head in panic; Arjun stumbled back into the corridor. The impression he retained was less a photograph and more a rash: the negative of his own skin blazed and exposed. Immediately, he was crazed with questions. How did Mama and Papa still have sex? How did their two lumpy bodies stack up, each one lost in the vast, flabby expanse of the other’s skin? Was this sex or—swimming? He’d always imagined they had sex when all the children were at school.
Page 6: How she sat most days in the bus with her hair listing on her left shoulder, a notebook pushed out at right angles to ensure Arjun maximum readability (she liked playing noughts and crosses, Flame, Hangman, unabashed vestiges of junior school), the pen poised in his direction like a microphone, her bra strap straining through the tight fabric of her shirt—man
This is all from Chapter 1. There is hell number of other lines which my friend underlined. Some of them are below,
Page 242: a little behind her, both hands dug into his back pant-pockets.He was squeezing his butt to hold in the piss. It appeared, strangely, to work Page 247: He parked himself before a keekar tree and took a piss that lasted several generations, his legs splayed out in a broad V. Page 38: what he had seen last night in the nursery, obviously no: firstly, it was disgusting, and sec- only, people have sex all the time in this country Page 93: but the title comes from the idea of 69 as a metaphor for sex. Most people thought it was about the year 1969. Page 114: He seemed to take immense pleasure in the description. The trouble from the start was sex. She wanted to have sex and she wanted the world to know she was having sex Page 200: So he tried to masturbate to a vision of Aarti. The attempt ended in failure and chafing. Page 27: All the weeks till the wedding, he’d rise early in the morn-ing to masturbate in the bathroom back matter: so tight that he couldn’t turn a tap for days (or masturbate) and flirted with a women twice his age and then punked into a bed of salvias in the garden. Page 232: from using the bathroom even if you were caught in the dire throes of shit, and then what? You’d have to run out into the street and make a beeline for the bushes
This book doesn’t need any rocket science to understand what the author is trying to convey. I have never read any literature so deprived as this one. Even novels of Sidney Sheldon are not as deprived as this book. And it shocked me that this pervert got education in Stanford. I don’t know how he got there. I feel that there might be some back door admissions.
you betcha. the guys in san francisco love back door admissions…
but you still did. really appreciate your sacrifice in baring all the perversion. and in such detail too. love ya!
The universal moral standards are nothing but principles that tell you to abstain from anything that makes you bad in thought, word, and deed. These principles are found in almost every religion in this world. In Christianity you have to look at the “Seven Deadly sins†(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins). Even in Islam they have principles that guide their social life (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin#Islamic_views_of_sin). In Hinduism and other eastern religions the principles of good life are elaborated in countless number of sacred texts.
The reason for the problems the humanity is facing is because one creates his own moral standards based on his very own reality. Hitler thought that by annihilating Jews from this world, all problems will be solved. His morality is unquestioned in Nazi Germany . But look at what happened with that? It is only after the war and after many decades the Germans realized what the reality is.
On the other hand look at the great Mahatma Gandhi; he too is in the time of Hitler’s. But See how he shook the mighty British Empire. Even Mahatma Gandhi has his own moral and ethics based on his reality. But here the difference is that his moral and ethics are in sync with that of universal morals. Concepts of ahimsa (Non-Violence), Tolerance, Love, Sacrifice are all divine things which took the form of Mahatma. This didn’t stop with him but spread and inspired countless other great people.
One thing is for sure Mr. The Morning After Pill. Any country in this world becomes great only because of the Sum Total of the number of good and righteous people, and its good intellectual property. United Stated is full of great materialistic (Science and technology) intellectual property. On the other hand India is great with its spiritual people and literature. It speaks of mind, body, spirit and others abstract things at an enormous length.
Are you a troll? You must be a troll. You are very amusing though, so do please carry on. Does this mean that Indian Americans are the perfect blend of all that is good and wholesome?
P.S. for someone so offended by ‘perversities’ you do go through great pains to underline and write them out for all to see.
Its Ms.
The passages you shared with us above from that book reflect the India that I know;
a. peeing in the street – see it everywhere, all day.
b. you may have grown up in a home where all couples had their own rooms to do it in, but for a vast number of Indians, a home consists of 1 or 2 rooms and the parents and children actually sleep together, and therefore they have to have sex in the presence of their children (who are sleeping or pretending to).
c. the part about imagining the fetus inside his wife while having sex with her was a little off putting for me, but probably only because I’ve never been pregnant. I’m sure it crosses the minds of both expectant mothers and fathers when they are having sex from time to time – how could it not? I mean, its so obvious a thing.
I actually found nothing in the above passages that did not reflect the nitty gritty reality of daily life in India.
As far as Universal Morals, I still say that beyond a few very general ones like immediate family incest and perhaps cold-blooded murder, they vary from culture to culture and person to person.
Certainly the difference between ethical vegans and meat-eaters or milk-drinkers testify to that. While drinking milk to you may be “moral”, it is morally apprehensible to a vegan.
In order to understand the education system in bharat (India), we need to study the changes of the society from Vedic times till now. Various historical sources had given me a glimpse of what women of those days are like. Had women are not given any importance in education during those days then there might be no question of having Hindu goddess [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Hindu_goddesses]. It is indeed astonished me when I came to know that women not only were active in family life but have contributed their part in the most sacred scriptures Vedas. It didn’t stop there but are active in all forms of professions in a state.
During the Vedic era, boys and girls had equal opportunities for advanced education. The girls used to spend the early years of their life, like the boys,in brahmacharya ashram after participating in the Upanayana Sanskara ceremony. Upanayana (sacred thread ceremony) was required for the study of the Vedas. Therefore, in the Vedic age, Brahmacharya discipline and training was as much necessary for girls as for boys. If Upanayana was not performed for a girl, then the girl would be reduced to the status of a Sudra, and she could not marry.After the Upanayana ceremony, girls were given the same education that was given to boys, but they were permitted to quit early as they were expected to marry at the age 16 or 17. In those days, women even dominated teaching. Boarding school facilities were available for girl students under the able protection of women. During the Vedic period some women were so learned that they publicly challenged men of letters and held their own in discussions on philosophical and metaphysical subjects. Women took an active part in agriculture and in the making of war weapons like bows and arrows.
27 women rishis were responsible for the composition of mantras for Vedas especially the Rig Veda. Some of them were Vishvarava Ghosh and Apala Atreyi, Indrani, Kakhi Vati Ghosh, Surya Savitri, Dakshina Prajapati, Vak Ambhireni, Ratri Bharadwaj, Gasha, Shrudha Kamayani, Yami Shachi Paulomi, Sarparajni and Urvashi. The majority of the hymns in the Rig Veda are dedicated to mythological beings and the personification of abstract qualities.
For instance, women helped define the Vedic tradition. Lopamudra took on the sage Vishwamitra to argue the cause of the marginalized. Apala Atreyi is one rishi or sage who refused to marry, authored segments of the Rig Veda and participated in the fire ritual. Ghosha too preferred a life of spinsterhood and composed hymns to the gods. Vishvavara, Romasha and Vach stand out as other Vedic women rishis. The Rig Veda in 1,000 BCE celebrated women who distinguished themselves in battle. These include Vadhrimati, Vishpala, Mudgalani and Shashiyasi. The Upanishads in 700 BCE refer to independent-minded thinkers such as Gargi Vachaknavi and Maitreyi who challenged key philosophic points and helped elucidate the central tenets of Vedanta. This is the earliest known instance of women’s participation in established intellectual discourse in the world.
Panini, the Sanskrit linguist of the 5th century BCE coined a specific term, Upadhyayi, for women teachers of religion. He also refers to women students of the different branches of the Veda, i.e the Katha school, the Rig Veda school, the Taittiriya school etc. The Mahabharata asserts that Arundhati, wife of the great sage Vashishta, matched her husband in scholarship. The ancient custom of swayamvara where a woman chose her man, attests to a more liberal age. These examples illustrate the role of women in defining the Vedas, the intellectual node in the Hindu world.
Likewise, the concept of Stri Rajya implies women administrators. Women participated in public life although sidelined more often in the past. Prabhavati Gupta, the daughter of Chandragupta Vikramaditya, ruled as regent for 13 years in the 5th century CE. She issued a charter describing herself as a devotee of Vishnu. History is witness to the energetic statespersonship of Queen Didda of Kashmir in the 10th century. Inscriptions describe Akkadevi, the Chalukyan provincial governor of the 11th century, as fierce in battle where she commissioned the construction of temples and promoted education.
Sembiyan Mahadevi, the aunt of Rajaraja Chola and devotee of Siva, renovated and built Saivite temples in her own right. She initiated works of charity and bestowed land to several temples. She made endowments to support artisans, craftsmen and musicians attached to such religious institutions. Kundavai, her niece and stalwart of Saivism, established a free hospital at Tanjore and set aside extensive lands for its maintenance. She dedicated temples and conferred costly gifts on each. Rudramba Kakatiya, an Andhra ruler of the 13th century, promoted the welfare of her subjects. She constructed irrigation tanks and canals, granted concessions to merchants to promote trade and industry, built hospitals, provided for their maintenance and patronized several villages. She belonged to the Pasupata sect and expressed a deep faith in Siva. One witnesses herein the role of women in administering the land and supporting religious institutions.
Women made extensive and direct contributions to the wave of personal religious devotion that swept the Hindu world in the late classical and medieval ages. Bhakti often entailed a rejection of marriage in the quest for religious communion. Karaikkal Ammaiyar of Tiruvalangadu sang in praise of Siva in the 6th century CE while Andal of Sri Villiputtur composed hymns of Vaishnavite devotion, a century later. Akkamahadevi is known for her simple and practical aphorisms in the Kannada language in the 12th century CE. These reflect an intense devotion to Siva and are conspicuous in the development of literature in Karnataka. Molla, a potter’s daughter from Nellore, created a Telugu Ramayanam using a simple, chaste and vigorous style. Lal Ded, a Saivite mendicant ascetic, is significant to Kashmiri literature. She defined a true saint as one who helps others and embodies compassion. Mirabhai, the medieval Rajput princess, stated her preference for personal piety over lifelong wedlock, rejected suttee and was seminal to Hindi literature. Women joined the bhakti movement and contributed to the Hindu understanding of godhood. Such participation empowered them in a society otherwise male dominated.
Most civilizations have not had such a feminist inheritance. Indic civilization stands out in this regard. Yet, it has also had a fair share of a harsh patriarchy, be it sati, the skewed legal texts and societal bias. It is now time to reclaim this earlier inheritance to replace the stilted and obsolete patriarchy that has come to dominate our religion, our economy and our politics. Unless and until we reinvigorate this dormant feminist capital, we would be fated to continue playing second fiddle to the West.
One thing is for sure Mr. The Morning After Pill, the civilization of Indian Subcontinent is unparalleled to any others in this world. I can proclaim that this civilization is the best in this world. What all we have is now is a wounded one because of all the foreigner invaders from Mahmud of Ghazni to latest British Empire.
Mr. The Morning After Pill, You should read about Hinduism a lot. History of Indian Subcontinent didn’t start from the raids of Mahmud of Ghazi. And please keep away from contemporary historians. What all they do is fulfill the needs of Expansionists.
That’s why I keep on telling to people in India, especially the learned once to write some good literature. There is nothing that beats good Intellectual property. The more the literature the better it will be for India. Books like “Family Planning†don’t come anywhere near to my thoughts. And I am damn sure that the author misused his valuable time.
You seem to believe that this western system of education has given an improvement to our society. What I believe is it has not done much good to this country. What all a country, which has got independence, should do after independence is to find out its roots. But obviously the roots lie at Sanatana Dharma [aka Hinduism]. India is country that was completely colonized by British. They have introduced their way of education so that they can better administer the country. One defect of western education is that is can be controlled by a selfish entity. In India the education sector is not reformed since pre-independence. No body believes me when I say that most of history that we read in our school books is what the British and later the Communist have written.
I haven’t read about Historical figures of India like Lord Rama and Krishna etc. People never read about Pandavas, kavravas and the great Kurukshetra war. If they want to read history then they should Puranas of Hinduism. But no one studies about them. What the western education in India does is make people believe in some kind of propaganda by the shameless Socialist state. They never mentioned the failures of Nehru in handling Sino-Indian war (1962). No whereabouts about atrocities of congress during emergency rule of Indira Gandhi for 21 months (25 June 1975 – 21 March 1977). So I never believed in what all the information that is feed to us by the so-called enlightened Western Education.
I have many more questions for you. If western Education is so superior then why there is so much violence in the western nations. Why they fight with other countries. Why they are so greedy? Why their financial structure falls? Are they run by uneducated people from premier B-schools like that of Harvard, Wharton, Stanford, and MIT? Do they need cluster bombs to kill people in mass? Why they need 5th generation fighters like F22 and bombers like B52? Instead of telling other nations like Iran not to have a nuclear program, why they don’t set an example by dismantling their huge nuclear stockpile? It is all in education (enlighten). Even though this country doesn’t have Western Education during those days it has produced great Scientists, Philosophers, Engineers and great thinkers etc. It is even producing now. But on those minds the Indian thought is clearly visible.
List of Indian inventions and discoveries http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Indian_inventions History of Indian science and technology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science_and_technology_in_ancient_India History of India http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_India
@ Mr. X
It is indeed sarcastic and I am pretty sure that he might be mocking at some degraded art. ^_^
@ anal-ysis
I had read only the first chapter. The remaining stuff is what my friend had underlined in the book. It is indeed hard to read a book like this which has nothing much to offer from start to finish.
Ms. Dharmachakra, you keep referring to me as Mr. even after I corrected you. That is bad manners.
I am a Hindu and I have read many epics and spiritual books. Nowhere did I walk away with the impression that girls were educated in a gurukula system like the boys. In general, girls were raised to be wives and mothers. A girl’s caste/varna was determined by her father’s caste and after marriage, by her husband’s caste. Generally girls were married to boys of equal or higher caste but were not married to boys of lower caste because, as she would be subsumed into her husband’s family, just as is the case now in India, and have to conform to THEIR rituals and habits, just as is the case now in India, for her to have to conform to lower standards than the ones she was raised with would be degrading for her.
No doubt there were women who opted out of marriage and who also became rishis – either independently or along with their husbands, but the culture was set up in such a way that the primary education for a girl would be one that trained her to be a wife and mother. Having Goddesses in one’s pantheon of deities makes no differences. Those same Goddesses are still worshipped in India and that does not seem to affect the position or plight of women.
And, if you look at the roles of those Goddesses – Sita for example, everything revolves around their God Husbands. I would not hold Sita up as an example for women to emulate, yet in India, she still is considered the “ideal wife”. Nor would I hold Rama up as an example, considering his abandonement of his pregnant wife, but he is still held up. However, I still worship Ram and Sita when I enter a mandir dedicated to them, I just don’t see them as a good example of a functional marriage and I would never try to emulate them in my intimate relationships.
@ Mr. X To dharmachakra , “It is perfectly alright to let moral standards decline in real life, but god forbid should they ever get mentioned in art.†Sarcastic remark made in 60s by a famous Indian writer, a Padmabhushan yet. Look him up. It is indeed sarcastic and I am pretty sure that he might be mocking at some degraded art. ^_^
You don’t know who I am referring to, nor do you know anything about his work or philosophy. Yet you are pretty sure of whom and what he might be mocking. As I said, look him up. It will be a good education on Indian literature and culture.
“A life of constant education is a life lived well, and the heart of our continued education is a public discourse that is free from small-minded influence, sanitation for the sake of weak wills, and cowardly censorship.” Like The Game, my raps depend on other people’s raps.
you people are really boring.
@The Morning After Pill
Yes Ms. The Morning After Pill, most number of Indians do urinate shameless in the street. I too agree on that. But I would like to blame it on the lack of facilities that the dirty socialist government is providing. Even the International airports like that of Indira Gandhi International Airport are not well maintained. In this regard you should visit the newly constructed airports in Hyderabad and Bangalore. The expressway between Mumbai-Pune should tell you more. And yes it will take time to change.
One more important thing is that the same Indians who urinate in India don’t do the same when they visit foreign nations. So it is the lack of facilities, rather that the behavior. And I am pretty sure that one cannot hold too long if he couldn’t find toilet near by. And finding toilets in urban cities where it is must, is pretty hard. So blame it on kind of government and constitution this nasty congress has created for us.
It is true that I do have my own room. But that’s didn’t give my parents to do what all they wanted to in their room. My parents are very pious and I am happy that I have inherited some of it. In a moderate house like what we have are religious and fear of bad karma, people living 1 or 2 rooms should be much more careful about their deeds. How can they copulate before children? That is totally degrading, ugly and dehumanizing. Don’t they have commonsense that it will destroy the future of children and it will alter their thoughts?
Are you sick? How can one have sex when a man’s wife becomes pregnant? What kind of thought is that? It is totally reflecting from your words how degraded people have become. Have you lost your religion? This is a country where Sita, Anasuya, Arundhati are adored for their virtuousness. Why are you thinking like that? I am totally lost of words to describe my present situation. Please don’t be like that. Don’t surrender yourself to demonic vices [Vice= Lust Gluttony Greed Sloth Wrath Envy Pride ] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins] Please practice the greatest Virtue [Chastity Temperance Charity Diligence Patience Kindness Humility]. It is only virtuousness that has life, remaining forms of life is mere dead. And please please make a habit of reading Swami Vivekananda, Swami Sivananda, Sri Aurobindo’s literature.
As far as Universal Morals are concerned people always turn a blind eye on them. They don’t realize that they are the eternal truths. They are what every human should learn and practice. Can you imagine a world without those great people who practiced those Morals and ethics during their life time? Do you know where you will be if those people are not born and haven’t shown us how to live? Can you imagine the place of humanity on the scale of prosperity and happiness if those virtuousness men and women are not born? What all I can say is the reality of our world can be analogized with that of trilogy Movie “The Matrix†Series. All you people are living in a dream world. You guys don’t know how deep the rabbit hole goes. You guys have stopped thinking beyond a certain point. You people are totally slaves to your senses and call yourselves proudly that you are free. What a shame?
During pregnancy a womans’ hormones are going wild and all women I’ve spoken with attest that they’ve never felt “hornier” than when they are pregnant (at various stages). Its scientific. I think its natures way of giving a woman a time in her life (besides after menopause) when she can have sex completely free of the worry that she will become pregnant.
I wouldn’t blame the poor people of India who have to have sex with their children in the same room (but sleeping). They cannot afford to hire a babysitter and a hotel room. What else are they going to do? Especially if they want to have more children?
As far as peeing in the street, its not just the people who have no toilets in their homes who are doing this, its also men who have toilets in their homes and they are just minutes walk away from the same, yet the pee in the street BECAUSE THEY CAN. Their women however do not. Therefore, if their women are holding it in and walking back home, why can’t they?
Am I the only one who is surprised that one who goes by “Dharmachakra” is going to define righteous conduct based on Catholic principles. (And principles that most Catholic cultures don’t even worry much about if my time in Italy is any indication.)
It will destroy the future of children to know what sex is? If children don’t learn how it works from their parents they will learn it from older kids on the street or through pornography. Which do you think is healthier?
You have to judge them by the context of when and where they lived. The whole point of Rama abandoning Sita (and he didn’t know she was pregnant at the time) wasn’t that he dropped her because she was inconvenient. It was that Rama was the King and to be the king he had to give up what he loved most for the well-being of his kingdom. To quote Kings, “We give up what we want when we want power.” It’s not about Rama and Sita, it’s about how Rama has to lose a very important and crucial part of himself once he becomes King of Ayodhaya.