As soon as the South Asian Summit was over last Sunday, I headed over to the original Busboys and Poets for my first D.C. Sepia Mutiny Meetup. I was nervous since I was hosting solo and we were expecting about twenty people. As people slowly filtered in, I realized that not all twenty would show up – it would be intimate for sure.
As we sat there, this tall guy walked over to our table and wrote down something on a paper. He then signed to his two friends with his hands, and they pulled a table to join us. I walked over and introduced myself. It was clear that they were deaf, so I pulled out a stack of note cards and pens I always carry with me and placed them on the table next to me. The next three hours turned into the most fascinating conversation (using writing, speaking, and signing) about the intersection of being Desi and Deaf in an American world.
There was Shazia the Pakistani/Muslim/Californian who could speak verbally better than the other two, and served as a translator. There was Sharvedh who had just moved back to DC and was raised in South Africa in the same historical Indian neighborhood that Gandhi lived in. Finally, there was SM reader Karthik, the Desi Born Desi who had a Cochlear implant recently done and what English he spoke had an Indian deaf accent. They all represented a different aspect to being Desi, yet they were friends that were brought together in this parallel world of deafness.
“Do you know any Deaf Desis?” Shazia scrawled on a paper and handed to me. I didn’t. But seeing it on paper it struck me how I had just been at the South Asian Summit, listening to a panel on language access and how the Deaf community was not even mentioned. As activists, we fight for in-language resources for government agencies to provide in Hindi, Urdu, Bangla and other Desi languages for our limited English speaking population. But being deaf is a limited English speaking population too. What struck me was how we were having this South Asian Summit in DC talking about the needs of our community and how there was this Deaf Desi community that was not even represented at it. Washington D.C. is home to the largest Deaf population in the nation, perhaps because Gallaudet University is located here. It should then be no surprise that there is a large group of Deaf Desis in the D.C. area. The Metro South Asian Deaf Association (which Karthik is on the board of) has around 100 registered members (as of 2007) and has been around since 1980.
This association now encompasses Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, the Maldives, Nepal, Bhutan and India. The members do not have to be born in any of these countries-just have roots in of these and are living in DC metropolitan area. They are more enthusiastic to work together as team, in the present to the future. The benefit to join the MSADA community is to enjoy the cultural social and recreational aspects rather than political. Also, to educate each other the varieties of culture in each country we would be more enriched and knowledgeable. Non-South Asians and hearing people can be part of the club, too.[MSADA]
Our conversation was worthy of a documentary and I kept wishing we had a better way of documenting it outside of note cards. We learned how sign language from South Asia is different than American Sign Language and how even in sign language, New Yorkers speak way too fast. We learned the sign for Hindu (thumb making mark on head), Bangladeshi (opening fist like a flower), Sikh (two hands making a turban), Tamil (hand across forehead), Sri Lankan (circling pointer finger at open palm), Muslim (hand in front of face moving down) and FOB (hands in boat shape and finger jumping out). I was surprised at how many of the signs were so blatant. “That’s racist!” I mouthed to Shazia as she signed ‘Moroccan’ (two hands making a niqab) for me. She mouthed back, “Deaf people are blunt.” Touched upon in an earlier post by Amardeep on Russel Peters’ and his deaf stand up routine, I thought about how space to be politically correct in a deaf world was marginalized. Sure, it makes for faster conversations, but I also wondered how racism and South Asian identities developed. Does it make it less racist since these signs are inherently how this community communicates?
This led into a conversation about elitism in the community. If people were born deaf or became deaf later in life, it played an element into how ‘elite’ the person was perceived. People who used hearing aids were looked down upon by others in the Deaf community. But what was the most interesting to me was how the intersection of white racial domination interplayed, and how Deaf Desis were marginalized by Deaf whites. Should be no surprise, I guess, since intersectionality of race and identity comes in all forms. But for some reason, it was a surprise to me.
And of course, how can we have a Desi conversation without it moving towards our favorite topic: dating. Sharvedh shared that he preferred dating white women to Desi women. When asked, he shared his experience of dating a white hearing woman and a Desi hearing woman. The Desi woman’s family had more prejudices – they were worried he’d pass on the deafness to his children. It was less complicated to date the white woman, she had less prejudices. I asked Shaziah if her parents wanted her to marry someone Muslim and what type of pressure was she getting. She responded that her parents would think it was nice if she found a Muslim, but they really wanted her to be with someone she could communicate with – without communication there would be nothing.
Communication. Isn’t that what it comes down to? I often feel that at Sepia Mutiny meetups you can get into deeper conversations because the blog serves as the vehicle for like-mindedness. It isn’t just our South Asian identity that brings us together, but in many ways, how we choose to navigate this hyphenated identity that lets us empathize with each others stories, even though there may be stark differences. I felt like the conversation on Sunday was communication of the deepest kind, a real connection of merging South Asian personal histories, similar yet unique because of one thing that set us apart: voice. But that’s why we write, right? To give voice to the voiceless? And that for me took on a whole new meaning after that meetup’s conversation.
To learn more about MSADA, please visit their website. If you are in the D.C. metro area, they do have events periodically – please contact them to join and get on their list. If interested in further reading, check out this memoir titled Deaf in Delhi or this article titled, “Young South Asian deaf people and their families.”
Or you can simply watch Uncle Ramesh teach you ASL here. 😉
Thank you to all the folks that joined us for the meetup! I made some friends for life, for sure. I’d love to hear what you thought about it was well!
This is a great post and very informative. Reminds me of one of my favourite films Sparsh.
Razib – that is true, I remember when I was younger reading a book on caste by Jonathan Parry and him mentioning in the foreward how painful it was to see how badly handicapped people were treated in Indian villages. I recall getting all outraged and slipping into anti-the “White Man” mode at his presumptions about Indian society; till one of my friends married a girl witha physical disability and I went to work in rural India myself. Both these experiences exposed me to thte kind of attitudes you mentioned which were quite shocking. My friend said that after his marriage, he beleives that this is one of the last remaining vesgites of accetpable discrimination in India. But I think things are changing, and within a few genrations things will be very different.
This breaks my heart.
Taz, and commenters like Madan, Sharvedh, and others.
Thank you very much for posting on this topic and the terrific discussion it has generated.
Sharvedh
I did not mean ancient literature. I am thinking more in lines of recent writing – fiction/non-fiction etc. Like the movie Sparsh about blind people. You see I was very close to my grandmother who was deaf and I loved communicating with her although I did it mostly by writing on my palm (I do not think she knew ISL or any standard sign language) and also by her reading my lips. 🙂 I have very fond memories of how quickly she knew what was on my mind (usually candy or play Monopoly with her or some such silly thing!)
So I am wondering if there is any writing or stories about the deaf that have been written that I could read and feel closer to the community she belonged to. She passed away when I was a teenager.
Thank you for your comments.
The recent movie Iqbal was about a deaf boy in India who is a phenomenally talented cricket bowler.
You can see a clip here
Synopsis:
Set largely in a small Indian village where cricket is a way of life, the story follows deaf and dumb Iqbal (Talpade), an 18-year-old who refuses to let his disability hold him back. Expected by his father to help out with the family’s maize-farming business, Iqbal prefers to spend his days practising cricket moves and dreaming of playing for the national team. This ambition seems to be getting closer when his sister Khadija (Prasad) helps him enrol at a prestigious cricket academy. But a combination of school politics and Iqbal’s temper at a rival student eventually cause him to be thrown out.
With his dream apparently over, Iqbal is distraught until he discovers that local village drunk Mohit (Shah) was once a high-level cricketer. Persuading the permanently sozzled Mohit to tutor him in the game is a difficult task, and keeping him away from alcohol is even harder, but soon Iqbal is making progress and forming a strong bond with his curmudgeonly teacher. But when he finally manages to join a small, underachieving state team, Iqbal faces problems both from his cricket-hating father (Karyekar), and from the politics in the cricketing world where some would rather he didn’t get to achieve his dreams.
Hi Mithun, I am deaf and being deaf means that I cannot hear. Let’s alone formulating sounds in my mind. Really, you asked me a very difficult question. I do understand sound however strictly as an intellectual concept and not something that I am able to feel. The concept of sound is just not tangible to me given the nature of my disability – Deafness. Therefore I will continue to perceive English as my second language. For example, I always struggle to understand why it is necessary to write “an†before orange instead of “a,†before my elementary teacher finally explained that it is necessary in order to pronounce it right because there is no sound in the first letter, “o†in this word, orange. Such are the methods to teach English as a second language to deaf students. You asked a very interesting question.
Hi Lurker Auntie, umm, yeah, there are literatures with deaf characters however they are usually small characters and I definitely don’t remember any deaf characters that are the hero/main character in the story. They are just not significant enough to make an impact I suppose. The movie – the Piano is an example. Oh yes, Billy is right – I totally forgot about Iqbal. Prior to that, we also must probe into the role of literature towards deaf community and the larger question should be addressed whether this is an expression of the mainstream society towards deaf community. Now, it is noted that not much mention is made about the deaf community and it corresponds with the ignorance about us, deaf people therefore not much is written about us. I cannot think of any South Asian Deaf literature but I think Madan may publish something like that. I think my mother bought a book by Madan the other day last year. There are several non-fictional literatures about deaf people. You can check them out at http://www.gallaudet.edu – Billy, I must tell that it is no longer politically correct to describe us as deaf and dumb. Sure, I do understand that in old-style English – the term, dumb means that we cannot speak and it can be true. But we are very sensitive to this term, dumb because it has negative connotations and often mislead people into thinking that we are also dumb (referring to the lack of intellectual faculty which is totally untrue.) The politically correct way to describe us is just to say that we are deaf. (smile)
The movie – the Piano is an example
In 1972, Gulzar made a movie Koshish, with Sanjeev Kumar and Jaya Bhaduri which one of its kind in Indian cinema.
In Roorkee (North India near Dehra Dun), since one of the Professor at IIT Roorkee (now a Director of another Institute) had a son who is deaf, he and his wife dedicated their life to building and mentoring school for deaf in Roorkee, which is seen as an unique school in India. I think school takes young children and then prepares them to incorporated in regular educational system.
Their son now works in a bank as an executive, and is married (the wife is not deaf) with children.
Hi Lurker Auntie, umm, yeah, there are literatures with deaf characters however they are usually small characters and I definitely don’t remember any deaf characters that are the hero/main character in the story
In Koshish, both Sanjeev Kumar and Jaya Bhaduri play deaf.
and someone else too (No spoiler)
Do check it out, if there is a DVD available for a 1972 movie.
I’m an ASL student in California using the Signing Naturally books. When the teacher first introduced country signs to us and showed us the signs for India and Viet Nam, I was shocked. The books are old and some of the signs are outdated. Definitely I felt that most of the signs are racist. But what I have learned and found is that deaf people are moving towards adopting the country sign using that country’s native sign language. So now I educate myself of different country signs by searching on youtube.
More on Koshish
I can’t think of any, for some reason I know far more on literature with sight-affected people than those with hearing deficiencies. the only thing I can think of is “Children of a Lesser God” which was about the love affair between a speech teacher at a school for deaf kids and a young deaf woman – a variant on the similar theme of Sparsh with gender roles reversed. I think the actress who played the deaf girl won an Oscar for her role and she was actually deaf the other lead being William Hurt. but this is more a film about the relationships that hearing people can have with Deaf people rather than one about Deaf people per se. film was a bit cheesy but was based on a play that was meant to be good.
Also, Satyajit Ray made a movie “Chiriakhana” (1967) which has a deaf as one of the main characters.
Look around you will find hazaar examples.
I put Koshish way above Children of Lesser God et al.
For Sharvedh and Madan Vashishta, so when you read letters and words on a page, in your mind’s eye you are picturing the sign equivalent of the same?
Like for me (a non-deaf person), letters symbolize sounds. And I “hear” those sounds as I read or write something. Just wondering how it works for you.
Mithun, it is interesting – if I read “car†then I would visualize a car. If it reads “red dress†and then I would visualize red dress and if it reads “worn by a woman of African American origin†and then I would visualize a dark skinned woman that look typically American as opposed to women from Africa. I never think in the context of hearing sounds. It just doesn’t work in my mind realm really. I was born never knowing any sounds. When I read letters, I don’t think in terms of my sign language. In fact, my reading and writing are totally independent of my sign language. Yet when I sign, it is often entwined with the language of English – e.g. there are several borrowed entities from the language of English and I have to sign by words to words if I need to quote something before I switch to my American Sign language mode. Further, when I read, I tend to focus on the meaning of the words and collectively try to read the message the letter conveys to me. Perhaps, my approach to reading is highly technical independent of hearing sounds. Mithun, isn’t brain so amazing? We often underestimate the power of our brains.
41, Tamizh, Thank you
48, Sharvedh: I am not advocating that. I wasn’t clear in my post – basically a new township is being built with the needs of deaf people taken care of. It is not for only deaf people.
Can anyone recommend a good link for learning ASL? Was always interested but never had the time until now..
BTW, interesting journal entries of a non deaf person who works with people with hearing disabilities:
http://maeveenroute.livejournal.com/39811.html
http://maeveenroute.livejournal.com/36992.html
http://maeveenroute.livejournal.com/36756.html
Sharvedh, thank you for the explanation. I read your hurt in the sense that you moved away from the gathering of Indians because you had a natural affinity to them but you kept away for fear that the hurt would have been so much greater had they insulted you than if you were rejected by some non-indian dude.
we have all done the same in some context – Kept away from someone we actually want to be with, because it feels better to nurture hope than to be shattered by a rejection. But one shouldnt stop reaching out and one can not paint everyone with the same brush. doubtless your experience with Taz was more positive (tho she is Bangla :-O), and ditto with the other folks you met up with in DC. ergo the thesis was false, no?
being indian (or desi, as taz would prefer) is an essential part of us (at least for me). to dry erase this part away is to leave a gaping hole. so i got a little cheesed off earlier. i hope you folks see my point.
Thank you all for the suggestions. Just reading the comments is so fascinating and educational! Hurray both Iqbal and Koshish have been added to my Netflix queue. I have already seen Children of a Lesser God. The Oscar winning actress in the movie is deaf in real life too. I am sorry to say the blurb for Koshish on Netflix says “A young deaf-and-dumb man (Sanjeev Kumar) meets a similarly handicapped girl (Jaya Bhaduri) at the market”. After reading Sharvedh’s @ # 57 comment, I am thinking of writing to them to correct it. Thank you all.
Khamoshi: The Musical
Sorry Sharvedh, I just cut and pasted the synopsis of the movie from the youtube clip.
Thank you for writing a post about us Deaf Desi people. In my experience, I have been shunned by Desi Muslims and Desi Hindus. Everyone seem to think that we Deaf people are “slow” or that we are “cursed,” so therefore they think they have to shun us. Whenever I visited my relatives in Bihar, my mother would tell me to wear my hair down so that no one would see my hearing aid. Desi people always thought it was “sad” that I cannot speak or understand Hindi or Urdu. Well, how can I when nobody would teach me directly?
For the past few months, I have been teaching myself to read and write Hindi. I have NEVER dated a Deaf Desi guy because I haven’t met any. In fact, Deaf guys (white, black, or brown) were never interested in me. And neither were Desi guys (whether Muslim, Hindu, Indian or Pakistani)! The only guys I have dated were hearing white guys who were sympathetic and wanted to learn ASL, read about India and Islam to understand me better.
And lastly, as a Deaf Desi Muslim, I am most certainly NOT offended by the blatant signs in ASL for India, Islam, Muslim, Hindu, or whatever. That’s how we Deaf people are…blunt. We call it how we SEE it. I think people get so offended too easily.
-Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist
I’m with you!
Probably the only people that will cry “racist” over signs are hearing people. Get over it.
It’s refreshing to know that deaf people are not plastic, fake pc-ers.
Kloof, naturally, this is a lot complicated than that. I must emphasize that my reaction is not typical of that of a simpleton. I know my reasoning is a lot complicated. Actually, I never perceived this as the result of being hurt by the reactions towards my deafness. I suppose that being hurt is a teensy factor. Most times, I just have a very low threshold of patience towards anyone who is totally ignorant. In fact, my brain is sophisticated enough to recognize the differences between Indians from India and foreign-born Indians. I tend to gravitate more towards foreign-born Indians especially in the States, United Kingdom, and South Africa because they tend to be more aware about us, deaf people and how to best accommodate us. For an example, I went to order an ice-cream in Crystal city, Virginia and there was an American-born Indian scooping ice cream for me. When I signaled to my ears indicating my deafness and he just pulled the paper and pen out so I could communicate my orders. I have the same positive experiences with Britons of South Asian origins and South African Indians – many of my former colleagues in South Africa especially Johannesburg and Durban tend to be Indians and we often partied after work especially at bars. With Indians from India, they tend to be ignorant or that their reactions are conditioned as a result of their cumulative beliefs about our disabilities and often they often made references to karma which raised my ire. Also, some Indians just wanted to show me their love and acceptance to gain grounds and this made me very conspicuous to the point of announcing to everyone that I am a god child. In all honesty, however well-intentioned this may be, I find that bloody irritating. Simply, I want to be treated the same as the next average Joe! I am able to tell the difference between Indians from India by the way they wear clothes, their hairdos (Indians from India tend to prize their hairs), and whether they tilt their heads when they talk. If I see that, then I tend to avoid them. I know that’s not right. But most times, I just don’t want to invite complications. And oh yes, by the way, I do have good Indian friends including the ones from India as well. but still, I don’t excuse India – India still have a long way to go addressing the challenges it presents for the deaf community including building the bridge between the deaf community and the mainstream society in India. And yep, I am quite impressed with Taz, Neal, Aruna, and Kam.
Yeah but they say that about everything. Its not really a negative judgement. Its more like another form of empathy. But without that cultural experience I can understand how it might be off putting.
Lurker Auntie, yeah, that’s a good idea to write them to correct. I am quite pleased! We would always appreciate your support. MN, umm, I don’t consider some signs in American sign Language to be racist. I need to see from the hearing person point to appreciate that. Perhaps, hearing people would find that to be too blunt. However this is our sign language – that’s how we communicate. But at the same time, this must be balanced with accommodating cultural sensitivity including collapsing racism. Deaf Washingtonians are quite advanced in this sense. Further, given the nature of our lives experiences, we take equal opportunity very seriously. Lord of the Dings, I am not sure about recommending any links to learn American Sign Language. I will make time to check that out. However, I know that the best way to learn ASL is to interact with us deaf people. I learnt how to write French years ago and I was damn good at that. Yet, I could not manage in Paris despite being have had been to Paris and France at least 15 times – textbook French is just not enough – I also need to match their culture and their way of living before I could express well in French. That’s the same with Deaf people.
MN, sure, I can accept this argument. Perhaps, relating that to karma is one way of understanding the purpose of our existence deeply. I do consider myself a very highly evolved spiritual entity. My relationship with the god is strictly personal and I feel very strongly that any man has no say whatsoever in my relationship with the god including relating that to my karma. Perhaps, I am being punished in my past life that would result in my deafness yet, I grow up having a very good life and I don’t ever feel penalized for my deafness. On the contrary, I came to perceive the karmic lesson in probing my deafness as a method to explore different methods of communicating than speaking audibly and building myself as a communication virtuoso talent. Only time will tell that. Sure, Indians want to box deafness with their understandings and appreciation of the concept in karma however they also should be able to accommodate sensitivity. Basically, this is not their place to say that one’s deafness is the cumulative result of one’s karma. I came to believe that karma is much more than the outward signs such as deafness. Also, we must consider whether by relating to karma is their way of putting us in our places supported by my observations towards the rigors of following caste or just being empathic about the challenges in our lives. I do realize that the concept of karma is strictly neutral however how it is presented in arguments would suggest otherwise.
Karma just means “activity” – it can be good or bad. Or a good karma can get a bad result and vice versa. So by simply saying “its karma” doesn’t mean they are talking about negative karma. Everything is a life lesson and meant to help us grow.
My brother was born deaf and it was quite an adjustment for my newly-immigrated parents to learn ASL and to take all the special classes they had to at the time to adapt to the needs and care of their deaf child in America. My younger sister and I grew up learning a mishmash version of home ‘signing’ and proper ASL. The latter being learned at community centers that offered classes and certification. But we never used the proper ASL language with him. We relied on him reading lips and our own form of home signing.
My brother has been to India several times with our family and there is not a lot of communication on his part with my relatives except in the most rudimentary forms of crude signing with each other. I often felt he missed out on a lot of cultural aspects b/c he coudlnt’ communicate or know what is was like to hear a different language. For him mostly, he’s not one to ever sit and chat, but is always on the move, so he formed friendships through exploration, motorcycle rides, and sheer charisma. He’s not “shy” to try to talk to people and he isn’t ashamed he’s deaf. Nor does he think it’s a disability. My parents do however wish for him to marry a hearing girl because they figure life would be ‘easier’ int the real world for them. My siblings and I have mixed feelings on this notion.
He has visited the Kasergood school for the deaf in India on one vacation and interacted with children who spoke Indian Sign Language, which was neat to see. Mostly we felt blessed that he was always able to study/go to school nearby our home and never had to go into a boarding situation. As with a lot of deaf people, his other skills are heightened. He has an incredible memory, sense of direction, and ability to take things apart and put them right back together. He’s always been the “sharpest” out of us three.
In terms of ignorance, I find a lot of people say things like, “Oh, he doenst’ look deaf!” and I still don’t know what a ‘deaf’ person is supposed to look like in comparision to a hearing person. And the second irritating statement is that they remark on how smart he is, as if because he’s deaf he has learning disabilities, etc. That being said, my brother doenst’ have proper grammar usage at all when he writes, but mainly because he doenst’ care about grammar or proper writing. He writes how he speaks often leaving out the filler words and getting straight to the point. Sometimes people can mistake that as someone who has a low intelligence when all it is is him being lazy.
My name is pris west my real name is prescilla helen west yes I am deaf. I life indianapolis in 46228 pris still cry all day I hate sister, parents bullshit pris hate peoples street is 44th keller some manys people talk about hate deaf daugther pris deaf feel her sad I don’t know what theys said but hurt my feel I am tider shit pris wish male with me I don’t have boyfriends I can’t life with him pris wish male hearing sign languages you,me I am girl pris still deaf like that pris hate old people bullshit I hate have to hi everybodys bullshit I don’t like family baby kids childs deaf need you guy 3325704 tell story about deaf why cry matter hate about people going to hate me go my room cry cry I am tider shit tell parent what happend to pris 4225 sunries rd indianapolis in 46228 go to find on map pris like love hug
Because pris so sick all of use I hate difflet other familys,people groups last names bullshit I don’t like it fuck manys people going to talk about deaf daugther call me stupide,ugly sometime theys going to beat me up or tider push me hit I think mom didit yes I think people don’t like me they don’t give me surpries none. I am tider everyone laught at me fuck other people I don’t like it I am not want said hi to anybodys bullshit. Leave me alone pris want I am not talk to other people fuck. Pris keep my anwers I can give you what people said call hurt my feel that not nice pris don’t undersaide pris can realips sometimes pris deaf birth oct 21, 1968 pris hate my ugly familys it don’t like deaf daughter I am black yes I am girl pris wish guys with you,me if you want too came see beaful deafgirl