WHEREAS, Aishwarya Bachchan (née Rai) won the 
Miss World contest in 1994, bringing glory to India and paving the way for three lesser beauties to win the same title.
WHEREAS, Freida Pinto was a model who appeared in ads for Hutch, Airtel and Wrigley’s Chewing Gum, but was not selected by L’Oréal, the world’s largest cosmetics and beauty company, to grace billboards in New York, Toronto and other major cities around the world, causing innumerable men to drive their cars into telephone poles.
WHEREAS, Aishwarya Bachchan has long been known as “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World,†a title bestowed on her by none other than Julia Roberts, which, along with the acronym TMBWIIW, is widely recognized as her trademark, in much the same way as Angelina Jolie is widely considered to possess the trademark of TMBWITWOTA, or “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World Other Than Aishwarya.â€
WHEREAS, Aishwarya Bachchan has appeared in 40 movies, has been crowned the “Queen of Bollywood,†and is a favorite of Mani Ratnam, Ashutosh Gowariker and other top directors who have created blockbusters featuring such acclaimed stars as Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Bachchan.
<
p>WHEREAS, Freida Pinto has appeared in just one English movie, a role that required her mainly to smile and look pretty, while Aishwarya Bachchan has starred in several English movies such as Bride and Prejudice, Mistress of Spices and The Pink Panther 2, roles that required her to not just smile and look pretty, but also flutter her eyelashes.
WHEREAS, Aishwarya Bachchan is a member of the First Family of Bollywood, having married Abhishek Bachchan, the son of the legendary Amitabh Bachchan, aka Big B, the former “King of Bollywood,†who graciously abdicated his throne to allow younger actors to enjoy the limelight and to assume a new throne: “King of the Blogosphere.”
WHEREAS, Aishwarya Bachchan has longer hair and greener eyes than Freida Pinto.
NOW, THEREFORE, The parties reach the following agreement:
1. Freida Pinto shall not make any acceptance speeches at award shows or elsewhere without adding the words “I thank Ash for paving the way.â€
2. Freida Pinto shall not appear in any movie in which another character refers to her character as “the most beautiful woman in the world,†without a disclaimer appearing in the ending credits that states: “All characters and compliments in this film are entirely fictitious.”
3. Freida Pinto shall not accept any compliment that includes the words “most beautiful†without saying, “Thank you, but you obviously have not seen Ash.â€
4. Freida Pinto shall try her best not to monopolize movie roles intended for “exotic beauties.â€
5. Freida Pinto shall make every effort, at any function attended by both parties, to direct members of the paparazzi toward Aishwarya Bachchan.
6. In return for the aforementioned consideration, Aishwarya Bachchan agrees to bestow the title of “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World,†along with the acronym TMBWITW, on Freida Pinto no later than 30 days after her 80th birthday.
what on earth is this post trying to even say?!?
Melvin shall now be conferred the title TMBOSM–“The Most Best of Sepia Mutiny”.
Aishwarya Rai’s problem (in Hollywood) is that she does not look “indian” enough. Which is ironic because it is precisely for the same reason that she is hailed as the most beautiful woman in india. Also she has zero charisma and is a very mediocre actor – so no help there. So why would Hollywood hire an indian actress who looks white ? Freida Pinto on the other hand is deliciously brown.
The Kapoors are the true first family of B’wood.
Awesome!! Does Angelina know about this?
I read some where that
“Dark and Delicious” is starting to sell more than “Fair and Lovely”.
It is not right, that as Indian’s we are making our light skinned brothers and sister’s feel insecure.
The NY Times said it better per Mrs. Bachchan. She’s now part of the Trinity: The Father, Son & Holy Babe.
good one 🙂
“Aishwarya Rai’s problem (in Hollywood) is that she does not look “indian” enough. Which is ironic because it is precisely for the same reason that she is hailed as the most beautiful woman in india. Also she has zero charisma and is a very mediocre actor – so no help there. So why would Hollywood hire an indian actress who looks white ? Freida Pinto on the other hand is deliciously brown.”
her problem is that she is more indian inside than she looks to those who have no concept of the diversity of india and who have a stereotypical view of what indians look like and she hasn’t translated her very indian looks or comportment very well to the western setting. i’ve seen her interviewed in india and in the west and, i have to disagree, she has some charisma and, given the right director, some talent, in indian settings/interviews. just because you look westernized doesn’t mean you necessarily are. when she moves west her handlers, and now increasingly herself, airbrush the indian-ness out of her – what makes her “her” and she comes across as yet another generic-looking westernized global star in the same old clothing, same old “celebrity-speak” language etc. etc. i think bollywood really underestimate their own glamour (the tasteful indian sense of it) and become insecure when they go abroad and try to look/sound like everyone else, which most people are already bored with. it’s almost as if there is a uniform for international stars that’s determined by only one culture.
As for Freida Pinto, she definitely has charisma – although I find her to be a bit grasping and rehearsed/affected at times, but who can blame her for wanting to make the most of this attention ?- and is a pretty face, but she actually also hasn’t proven that she has any acting talent as of yet. as for her being “deliciously brown” and therefore more acceptable to westerners, isn’t that playing into their stereotypes of what indians should look like and doesn’t that mirror india’s own stereotypes of what constitutes ‘beauty”?
Good point – marketplace at work. Although to be fair, I thought Rai was pretty good in Choker Bali – but I don’t know if her Bengali was dubbed or not.
Freida Pinto is TMBITWNAABOTA i.e. The Most Beautiful Woman In The World Named After A Bean Other Than Adriana.
Melvin, That was a fun one ! I think Ash’s takes on the ‘representing India’ part more seriously in most interviews, and chides back patronizing hosts like Letterman sometimes. Frieda is very charming as well, but it was strange to hear her constantly referring to Indians as ‘they’, instead of ‘we’, as probably Ash does. Freida had only a tiny role in SM, and so not sure abt her acting (not that I’m a great fan of Ash either). Regarding skin color, I have been asked many times if Ash is of mixed race parentage.
Think about the story, setting, and characters of Slumdog Millionaire, it was entirely Indian (Indian National or Indian origin like Dev Patel). I think an Indian actress or of Indian origin would get the role of Latika regardless. Aishwarya Rai did not pave any road for that role. Sure, in the world’s eyes Indians are getting more of the limelight now than in the past. But it is not as if Aishwarya was the sole trailblazer for that to happen. There were many before her that also brought attention to our people. Lets not forget the lady Aishwarya lost against to represent India in the Miss Universe contest ’94. What happened to that girl (Sushmita Sen)? Oh yeah, she ended up winning the highest ranked beauty contest in the world! More people in the US will recognize Parminder Nagra of Bend it like Beckham and ER fame than Aishwarya. Same goes for Ajay Naidu or Kal Penn. Don’t get me wrong, I think she is way hot and dig her work very much. I just think your sainthood of Mrs. Bachchan in this article and indirectly berating Freida Pinto is ridiculous and undeserved. Aishwarya is definitely more established and perhaps has more superior acting abilities, but that does not mean she invented acting and is the first Indian known to the world.
Beyond the horizons of the place we lived when we were young, in a world of magnets and miracles
Lupus, that was a blast from the past.
3 · mountaindreamer said
Amen!
Does anyone know why Ash did not want to say she was from Mangalore on Martha Stewart? Is is because it’s a small city and she wants to appear more cosmopolitan? I thought that was a little strange.
Extend “Bollywood” to “Indians in general” and you’re onto something. Not necessarily their own glamor, but you talk to a lot of Indians, especially upper class ones, and you find that they’re really really concerned about getting “respect” from other countries and will cast India and Indian culture in whatever terms they think they need to to get that respect from them. It’s a pretty servile mentality and shows that we still haven’t really been “decolonized” mentally.
Yoga, That was true roughly up to my generation. When I speak to teens in Delhi today, they appear remarkably self assured. They know exactly how things are, and are not enamored by phoren as we were in the ’80s and the early ’90s. The desi media dorks who go gaga over the smallest western recognition are all people who grew up in an earlier time. An interesting case study is the attitude of the current Indian cricket team. Dhoni in some ways exemplifies it quite well.
Aishwarya Rai did her schooling and college in Mumbai. She has lived there all her life. Its not surprising that she identifies herself as being from Mumbai and not Mangalore.
I don’t deny that there is some truth in what you say, but this is a very simplistic description of the complicated dynamic between india and the west. I think what you say is more true of Indians living abroad. And I think the reason a lot of Indians are sensitive about this matter of “respect” is because they sense a lack of respect among Westerners for India and its “alien” non-christian culture and customs. Just to give you an example : they cannot be bothered to learn to pronounce the name of an Indian oscar winner properly – here they are these brown people, how cute, who the hell cares what their names are ! If it was someone from France they would be getting their tongues in a knot pronouncing the name and feeling very cultured indeed. The difference is in the way the two countries are perceived and yes, it does affect any Indian who has to deal with western perceptions, myself included.
In a WSJ article they said “Indians have long considered Indian music composer A.R. Rahman on par with any in Hollywood.” I almost laughed when I read this. I don’t know the name of a single music composer in Hollywood and neither does anyone in India. In India, they have heated debates about whether A.R.Rahman is more talented than Illayaraja ! But how typical of them to assume.
word has it freida has become woody allen’s new muse
“I just think your sainthood of Mrs. Bachchan in this article and indirectly berating Freida Pinto is ridiculous and undeserved.”
I kind of thought the intent was the reverse, that it was poking fun at the idea of Ash kind of guarding the gateway to cross-over success in Hollywood… thus, indirectly berating Aishwarya.
Oh come on, Freida blows Ash out of the water, and to top it off, she ISN’T a huge bitch.
Very interesting!
Talking of Aish, her performance in Pink Panther II was probably the best performance that any actress has ever delivered in a movie. Beat that, Freida!
@Jaya, are you serious that Aishwarya is a bitch and Freida is not? Come on
Aishwarya may not be a good actress (unless working with a director like Ratnam or Ghosh) but she at least loves her country and film industry and says so in her interviews. Have you heard how Freida talks about Mumbai and Indian cinema? She is constantly dissing both in her interviews. Freida comes across as someone who is trying to distance herself from being ‘Indian’. Please read or watch some of Freida’s interviews where she makes comments like ‘I don’t wear sarees.’ or ‘There are no roles for me in India because they only make escapist movies’. Did you see Tabu making such comments after the success of The Namesake? Give some credit where due. At least Aishwarya is not a self-hating Indian who only wants to suck up to westerners.
3 · mountaindreamer said
Speaking as a non-indian, I’d say that I personally find the darker skinned indians to be not only more exotic looking, but much more beautiful. Plus, the darker your skin is, the better you’ll age.
nandita das is in her 40’s and she looks 25.
I also think that someone like hrithik roshan looks weird. He doesn’t look completely white, but he also doesn’t look completely indian. It’s a weird combination of skin lightening cream and dying their hair brown. They look odd when they try to look white.
Someone like a Kunal Kapoor however, would definitely appeal to a western audience that appreciates that more exotic look.
It’s too bad indians don’t appreciate their own natural beauty.
When I was watching the world cup, there was a clear difference in looks between the darker skinned italian and spanish players and the pale irish players. The italians and spaniards looked so much better.
“He doesn’t look completely white, but he also doesn’t look completely indian.”
what is your definition of looking “completely indian”?
27 · Whose God is it anyways? said
Well, I suppose it’s not trying to look white through “unnatural means” – e.g. by using skin lightening creams, by dying their hair brown or in some cases blond, etc, etc.
I would say Kunal Kapoor would qualify, but like I said previously, he is strikingly handsome and he also has that exotic look, which many people find very attractive: nice olive skin, jet black hair, etc, etc…
Hrithik looks over processed, whereas kunal kapoor looks naturally good looking.
haha..I peed in my pants, I want you to pay me for the laundry
nm, thanks for your response.
Aishwarya Rai is not nearly as “beautiful” as everyone says she is. Sure, she’s pretty, but she has a big round head, and a toothy smile. On top of that she has fair skin and blue eyes..how “Indian” is that? Freida (despite having a suspiciously Hispanic name) is WAY hotter. I find it annoying how everyone fawns over Ash as if they’ve never seen a brown-skinned beauty. There are so many Indian actresses hotter than her. She’s just the most Americanized. As an Indian woman with brown eyes my vote goes to Freida, hands down!
Aishwarya has blue eyes? they must be contact lenses. i think she changes them around because I’ve seen pictures of her with green eyes.
I don’t know why indians want to look white. Most white people i’ve seen look fine until about age 26 and after that, it’s all downhill for them.
The best anti-aging skin protectant is melanin. Look at tina turner and angela bassett. Can anyone tell me of a white woman their age who looks that good? (even with botox and plastic surgery, they just shrivel up).
people who live in tropical countries are not supposed to look white. They are supposed to have melanin because that is what protects their skin from the sun and the heat.
Obama looks 35, a good 10 years younger than his real age.
Hrithik looks like an armenian. He will not age nicely. I know now why so many bollywood stars don’t like as nice once they stop acting — without all that make-up and after years of using those dangerous skin lightening creams, you’ll just shrivel like a prune.
“On top of that she has fair skin and blue eyes..how “Indian” is that?”
maybe ask her parents? maybe she was dropped by a european stork into their laps? and i think her eyes are not pure blue, but not sure why that should make her any less “indian” looking. her facial features are very indian looking.
“(despite having a suspiciously Hispanic name)”
why is it suspicious?
“I find it annoying how everyone fawns over Ash as if they’ve never seen a brown-skinned beauty.”
why do you assume that those who find Aishwarya attractive exclude brown-skinned beauties from their gaze?
“She’s just the most Americanized.”
in what way is she more americanized than freido pinto and her love of harry winston jewellery or the child from the slum who supposedly wanted to meet Miley Cyrus?
“As an Indian woman with brown eyes my vote goes to Freida, hands down!”
if you were an indian-american women with brown eyes and black hair and brown skin, how “american” is that?
i think it’s fine not to find her attractive or to your tastes.
31 · RasMalai said
not to dignify this manner of question, but you should ask chitpavan brahmins, where this phenotype is pretty common. aishwarya is a bunt, and i think the two communities are related.
31 · RasMalai said
Hot or not?
31 · RasMalai said
For those who think “Freida Pinto” is a “suspiciously Hispanic name; first off you need some lessons in India’s diversity. 1) GOA. Portuguese lineage, etc. Pinto is a common surname in Western coastal India.
2) Stop hating Aishwarya unnecessarily. FP has not done anything great in this movie. In fact, please review the list of Oscar categories for which Slumdog got nominated and you will notice nothing there for “actress in leading role” etc. So what has FP done really? Nothing. Nada zilch. Any indian woman could have fit that role, perhaps a beautiful woman like Aishwarya may not have fit the role because she would be too pretty to fit that role. Stop hating and get a life. Slumdog was a good movie, but FP’s contribution to it is barely worth mentioning. I am saying this only because she is being overhyped.
Suspiciously hispanic??
Try living in Bombay, Goa or Mangalore, or with folks from around there. My family is good friends with at least two clans of Pintos.
Yeesh. Far too many people are surprised, for example, that my mom had good friends in HS (a catholic hs no less) in bombay who were hindu, muslim, christian, jewish and zoroastrian — all Indians!
wtf aish was on martha? heads to youtube
Oh for goodness sakes, guys.
Can’t we say FP is pretty without saying Aish is ugly/bitchy/”not Indian enough”?
Can’t we say desis and brown folks are attractive without going on a “goris are pale and unattractive and expire at 25, so there hahahaha” diatribe?
You forgot to mention The Last Legion where Aish “ate the lens” as they say, especially in the scene where she pops up from under water at the lake…the proverbial wet look, smouldering green eyes and a coy smile.
It’s widely known many of India’s most beautiful women come from Mangalore (eg the Shettys). The Anglo Indian hybridization happened in the early 1800s when British “Residents” (governors) took native wives and ran their own zenanas.
Freda is a product of Portuguese fraternization and can help carry the exotic Indian Kama Sutra actress baton. With the dawning of the Obama age, deliciously brown is bilkul cool, or should we say “bilkul tundah”.
Absolutely hilarious
25 · Judy said
I saw that quote about escapist movies too I can’t think of more escapist fare than Slumdog
nm’s mostly right except:
Hrithik actually does look like that. Naturally. Okay I don’t mean that— –the musculature is contrived but not the shading. The thing is, India is diverse dear nm. Kareena Kapoor is, in fact, very light skinned. You are falling into the same trap that many Indians fall into. When they dismiss someone who is not like them as not being Indian they only betray their provincial mindset.
Now you may prefer a darker skin tone–your perogative. I happen to think Hritik is just delicious au naturel, and going by Rajasthani miniatures, very Indian. Much darker Frieda, on the other hand, does not have traditional Indian features. You don’t see Frieda on temple walls. But you might Hrithik or Aishwarya.
Enough with calling Frieda “self-hating.” If there is one thing I can’t stand on SM it is comments from Indian jingos. This was a humor post. Keep your comments relevant and stop the Ash and Frieda bashing based on personal fears/prejudices.
Doesn’t Frieda looks surprisingly like Eva Longoria in the above picture?
Typo- doesn’t she look
Dev patel is a ringer for David Schwimmer from “Friends”, with brown skin.
I don’t find Eva L. very attractive and I don’t think she looks like Frieda.
Aww c’mon PS, how can you not?
Never forget Mrs Ash lost to the Great Sushmita Sen, Queen of the Universe In 94.
Hrithik actually does look like that. Naturally. Okay I don’t mean that– –the musculature is contrived but not the shading. The thing is, India is diverse dear nm. Kareena Kapoor is, in fact, very light skinned.
Thank you…please if I hear another dark skinned minority complain that all light-skinned Indians must use bleaching I will scream – I think it’s absolute bs. I’m from the South India, as is Freida, Aish, and others and we are on average dark skinned, but light skin is so common. So many members of my family from my mother, father, cousins have different shades of color and we were just born with it.
NM – Aish’s eyes are naturally like that and how do you know she uses skin bleaching? I think Indian women feminists very loudly proclaim against the use of skin bleaching but that doesn’t mean it is used more often in India than in african countries or the middle east or east asia.
And where do you get all Indians want to look white? I think most Indians want to look like Indians – and light-skinned is considered (whether good or bad) generally more beautiful than dark skin — there’s plenty of light-skinned Indian beauties to choose from…I’m sure there are plenty of Indians who want to look white and who could pass for white (to some people) but many just want to look like themselves or the beautiful people that they see everyday in their towns and cities.
And your comment about white people going downhill after 26? wth? What if I made a similar comment like that about black people? It’d be one thing if you were white and made that comment….
I’m everyday seeing black people in the media and in everyday life who have plastic surgery (including Tina Turner), wear weaves, or process their hair in such a way that it doesn’t look like the natural texture of their hair and I don’t know about the bleaching (hopefully in America that shit is regulated and cannot sell) – am I supposed to assume all black people want to look white, or perhaps Indian (as Chris Rock’s new documentary shows, many of the hair used in the weaves comes from India)? Chris Rock says the amount of money that poor blacks in the US spend on their hair is incredible…it’s an investment.
Just like your comment about the caste system and not noticing oppression in Africa, [where there continues to be genocide committed by one tribe against another, or (say in Ghana) one tribe sold the other tribe in slavery, or the fact that Hutus and Tutsis were arguing over who had smaller noses, as do many other tribes in many other African countries] I think your comments about Indians are not in good faith and show a lot of ignorance about your own community. I don’t understand caste oppression nor do I understand tribes oppressing each other, or selling each other as slaves inthe past, or comparing the size of their noses to partially fuel a genocide; I don’t understand skin bleaching or processing your hair or wearing weaves everyday of your life to give a different texture to your hair or plastic surgery – I think all of those practices suck or are unattractive and I’m knowledgeable enough about world history to know not one region is solely home to self-haters, wannabes, oppressors, a racists.