Touched For The Very First Time

Over at the addictive blog PostSecret, a desi-angled postcard for your procrastination pleasure on a Monday morning [tipster hat tip to Chick Pea].

Postsecrets.jpg

My active imagination went into overdrive trying to figure out the story behind the image. Usually with most PostSecret cards the inspiration is pretty apparent but for this postcard, the story behind the image left me questioning:

a) Was it a guy that lost his virginity to an Indian woman? Or was it a girl that lost her virginity to an Indian man? Or maybe I was presumptive in thinking this was hetero-normative, and really it’s a queer drama being played out.

b) Was the comment filled with xenophobic hate by a non-Indian to an Indian? Or was it a jilted Indian lover that was upset that the other Indian chose another Indian to lose his/her virginity to?

A concerned reader over at PostSecret e-mailed the following to the site, the comment left underneath this postcard.

Subject: Indians aren’t bad.

I am an Indian American and honestly, I think people should feel honored to have sex with Indians. I mean, we DID write the Kama Sutra.

Amen to that. What do you think is the story, morning glories?

Related Posts: Dearest Pecola, I Want to Weep & Postsecret Isn’t Always Tragic.

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About Taz

Taz is an activist, organizer and writer based in California. She is the founder of South Asian American Voting Youth (SAAVY), curates MutinousMindState.tumblr.com and blogs at TazzyStar.blogspot.com. Follow her at twitter.com/tazzystar

93 thoughts on “Touched For The Very First Time

  1. 25 · kal said

    FYI: the girl in the pic is Parvathi Melton.

    shhhh don’t tell

    parvati said

    With such stunning looks lot of guys may be chasing and proposing you all the time. (Laughs) Wow!!! Thanks for the complement. Interesting question, you got me. Hummm, let me think. Well, to be honest I believe there is no particular way of dealing with it. But it depends on the circumstances and how a person approaches me. I am very friendly, and I love meeting new people. But I dislike when someone takes advantage of that.
  2. In my opinon women tend to be alot more racist when it comes to sex. Women will put it in there head that “Okay I will only bang a white man and maybe a dark skinned Italian, but anything else is just not for me”Men on the other hand when given the opportunity will not turn down the chance with a woman they find visually stimulating no matter the color. When it comes to sex, men fight for equal oppurtuniy and women prefer the seperate but equal approach to sex.

    wow so i am not the only one who thinks that this is more true than false. And it is true across all races/ communities not just whites. Including desis.

  3. 46 · ShallowThinker said

    … So in conclusion it was a woman saying it to a man.

    ShallowThinker, you’re an idiot. but i’m a fan. perhaps the only one on this forum. but i sure am. thanks for keeping it unreal. :-)

  4. wow so i am not the only one who thinks that this is more true than false.

    i thought ST’s comment was intended for comic effect. that said – as someone who’s visited an online dating forum in the past – it’s quite common to see personals that say “if you’re asian or indian, sorry but i am not interested.” hmm.. i’d say about one out of five say that.

  5. 55 · khoofia said

    it’s quite common to see personals that say “if you’re asian or indian, sorry but i am not interested.”

    and that’s just India Abroad

  6. I’m not sure that you know what the word heteronormative means.

    Well then why don’t you explain the error and contribute to the conversation in a positive way?

  7. 46 · ShallowThinker said

    Men on the other hand when given the opportunity will not turn down the chance with a woman they find visually stimulating no matter the color.

    Indian matrimonial ads notwithstanding…

  8. re: sex & race, well, women do care more about race than men. i’ve blogged a paper which quantifies the effect (it got pumped on digg A LOT for obvious reasons). and it’s not just this paper, a few other recent studies also have shown that women care a lot more about the race of a partner than men do. the effect decreases with increased education, and also with good looks. IOW, well educated or better looking women aren’t as concerned about race. the first makes sense to me, but i haven’t heard a good explanation for the second (i assumed that less attractive women would be pickier). also, asian women are the least racially picky. this of course screws asian guys as women of other races are most racially picky against them. the survey above excluded south asians, but since the marriage sex ratio for brown folk isn’t skewed, i don’t the the east asian sex imbalanced dynamic applies to us….

    of course, this is all short-term dating, etc. i’m pretty skeptical that race matters as much when you get to know a person. if you took white women at their word, none of them would marry an asian guy who makes less than $250,000 per year, but there are plenty of white female-asian male couples where the male doesn’t make that much money.

  9. 65 · Priya said

    Now that you have lost your virginity it is time to get arranged married !

    Why the heck did a Bombay Sapphire ad pop up when I clicked to through the link…??? As if people who watch Apache Indian obviously also drink Bombay Sapphire… :-P

  10. 10 · Rahul said

    I wouldn’t want this clearly important and substantive post to devolve into an orgy of voyeurism

    what do you have against orgies anyway, rahul?

  11. 20 · bess said

    “Speedy Burner” he told me it was a Kama Sutra move.

    since when have you become so gullible, b?

  12. You people are so self-centered. This has nothing to do with people from India.

    This was written by a biker about his buddy whose first ride was an Indian. (http://www.indianmotorcycle.com/)

    (either that, or two bikers, who thought they were gay until one of them discovered he was actually a mechaphiliac.)

  13. Great post! I personally think that it’s a white girl talking to her white boyfriend.

    I bowled that ball, blb

  14. My secret is… I wish I that I HAD lost my virginity to an Indian, specifically the beautiful guy who used to walk past my dorm-room every couple of days and who I never quite worked up enough nerve to talk to (I used to sit in my room at the same time every day hoping he would come by!). I’m sure (although I have no proof) that he would have left me with infinitely better memories than of me accepting a ride home from a nightclub with the sleazy white guy who ended up all over me like a rash as I struggled to stop him doing things I was definitely not wanting him to do! (btw I am also white…)

  15. portmanteau said:

    since when have you become so gullible, b?

    ; ) je suis innocente, c’est vrai.

    Razib said:

    the effect decreases with increased education, and also with good looks. IOW, well educated or better looking women aren’t as concerned about race.

    So true. So true.

    This was written by a biker about his buddy whose first ride was an Indian. (http://www.indianmotorcycle.com/)

    yoohoo, pj, that would have been funny yesterday morning.

  16. My last ex, not Indian, lost his virginity to me and depending on your definition of virginity so did my previous ex. I doubt though that my ex’s girlfriend reads PostSecret…

  17. This postcard is a FAKE. i.e. the TROLL version of postsecret. Whoever made it clearly isn’t “Sick” because “someone” lost their virginity to an indian.

    the production quality of this postcard is TOO HIGH. Too much time was spent on it for it to be believable.

    secondly, the indian girl in the picture is TOO PRETTY for someone to use it any believable anti-indian way.

  18. i can believe this – one of my close (white) friends used to get so upset when i dated anybody who was desi. we had a weird history and i could totally believe that he would think something along these lines if e.g., i told him the first person with whom i had sex was a desi.

    15 · hmmm said

    would it annoy / upset / offend you if a long time desi girlfriend / boyfriend lost his/her virginity to someone after you that was not desi ?

    i can see how it would – that situation would mean that desi bf/gf got no action. i imagine that it would be equally frustrating if the ethnicities were switched in your scenario.

  19. 77 · ak said

    hmmm said
    would it annoy / upset / offend you if a long time desi girlfriend / boyfriend lost his/her virginity to someone after you that was not desi ?
    i can see how it would – that situation would mean that desi bf/gf got no action.

    Actually, it doesn’t imply that at all. For example, Oscar Levant famously said that he knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

  20. Surely this was the product of the Catholic Church. Would the Pope dare make a similar postcard about Pakistanis or Saudis? This is why Hindus must defend themselves; and while I disagree with the methods of those who think this particular postcard should be burned along with the person who created it and any religious minorities in the area, their arguments have merit.

    Jai Hind.

  21. Dr. Anonymous of passtheroti proves himself as an unfunny hack with a stone to grind. Good job sir!

  22. The girl on the postcard is Telugu movie actress Parvathi Milton. She is half white-half Indian chick from California. Who did she loose her virginity to? Maybe a casting couch session, maybe?

  23. yeah i know…i used to be better but i haven’t done any improv in a while. however, i’d enjoy it if i were given a few second chances, given that my association with that comment is purely tangential and it’s really not fair to disallow me the room and space to grow and to change. In fact, I condemn any and all groups associated with it (just let me know which ones and i’ll be out with a statement in a week or so).

    :)

  24. also, it took you this long to realize i was an unfunny hack? What the hell is wrong with you?

    :)

  25. My very first intuition was this was a Pakistani lamenting losing their lover to an Indian.

    Then my second thought was that it was an Afro-Carib losing their lover to an Indo-Carib.

    Either way, it would have to be someone who is familiar with Indians through their location or culture.

    I definetely don’t feel white vibes emanating from this.

  26. I’m an Indian male who just turned 20, and is in a relationship a white female. I plan to lose my virginity to her (and maybe even marry her, if things work out). She is absolutely amazing! =D

  27. “My very first intuition was this was a Pakistani lamenting losing their lover to an Indian.

    Then my second thought was that it was an Afro-Carib losing their lover to an Indo-Carib.

    Either way, it would have to be someone who is familiar with Indians through their location or culture.

    I definetely don’t feel white vibes emanating from this.”

    That’s what I thought. Couldn’t quite put my finger on it, so to speak. Certain individuals may have hangups, but Indians, with their reputation (at least the ones in America) for high SES and low STDs, are just not on the white radar as bleeps of avoidance, at least not since the generation that made the Maharishi Yogi a rich man. People I know who avoid Indians for dating have done so because they spent too much time arguing with one or two, not because of social stigma. Personally I find opinionated people more interesting than those who keep their gear in neutral, but some have a reputation for being, shall we say, very decided about their opinions. Anyway, among most people of my acquaintance, it would be the Indian saying h/she can’t believe that so and so lost their virginity to gora/i.

  28. 90 · beyond the pale said

    but Indians, with their reputation (at least the ones in America) for high SES and low STDs

    Good thing you qualified your statement with “at least the ones in America,” since India is #2 when it comes to HIV cases.

    BTW, what does SES stand for?

  29. 91 · AryanMonkey said

    Good thing you qualified your statement with “at least the ones in America,” since India is #2 when it comes to HIV cases.

    BTW, what does SES stand for?

    Socio-economic status. Basically, how well off you are in society.