…lest you wish to spend the rest of the day with your legs tightly crossed, doubled-over with sympathy pain and terror (thanks, JTMoney!). Via our news tab:
A 2cm long fish apparently found it’s (sic) way into the penis of a 14-year-old boy from India in a bizarre medical case.
The patient was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period. According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.
Uh…I’ve either had or been around home aquariums since I was a toddler. I have never had a fish slip anywhere, while I was cleaning anything. Hell, I haven’t even had one of these bizarre pedicures.
Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: “While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.”
Okay, mens. Here’s the part which will have you wincing:
After detecting the fish in the boy’s bladder, Vezhaventhan and Jeyaraman used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps down the patient’s penis. Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones.
Yeesh, even I am crossing my legs at this point. One of the most awesome aspects of being female is knowing what a speculum is, whether one is involved with medicine or not, and by awesome, I mean “atrocious”. Owww.
The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide.
By the way, bettas aren’t just “Siamese Fighting Fish“, even though many people refer to the latter (a.k.a. Betta Splendens) by just its genus name. For those who may be wondering about it, the image enhancing this post is a picture of my dearly departed “Kir Royale“, a betta splendens who traveled to that great pond in the sky, earlier this year.
He was later admitted into counseling to help him overcome any trauma.
Speaking of trauma, aren’t you glad I didn’t play the caption game, with this one? 😉
uhhh, i was peeing and…and…it just uhh slipped in! Not!
Something smells fishy here…
Odd that this happened in India, there is a kind of fish in the Amazon river that also likes to swim up your urinary tract. It doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female. Naturally, it consists a medical emergency and travellers are generally adviced not to swim in the river delta. Anyway who goes to pee with a fish in their hand anyway?
2 · metal mickey said
That’s what I was thinking!
5 · Amit said
FYI, the category “humor” doesn’t just refer to the topic being blogged, it also refers to the style with which a topic may be blogged.
Also, “misery of a small child“? Really? He’s 14. He was holding his pet fish while he made soo-soo. You think categorization is what’s sad and sick? 🙂
Can you imagine his distress call??
Doc, there is a mf fish in my mf penis…..
Thinking in numbers isn’t 2cm more compatible with female than male….. Are you sure the protagonist was a guy ?
I don’t get how a fish can “slip into” a penis. Its not like there is a gaping hole out there into which things can slip.
8 · Ricardo barros said
Yes that is what I am thinking that probably to avoid any future problems with marriage the family changed the gals’ name into a guy name 🙂
1 · baingandabhartha said
it was a million to one shot, doc!
ah the wonderful candiru… here’s the hook on that story … the candiru gets into the urethra and then sticks out its spine vertically so that you cant pull it out without major tearing (up). it is attracted to uric acid and is known to gnaw its way into the flesh towards a blood vessel. as vikram points out, major surgery is inevitable. butterflied sausage anyone. yum yum.
for a 14 yr old he has a giant urethra opening, or he may have been enjoying its wriggle. i’m pretty sure the kid’s experimented with other holes. it’s a traditional indian practice .
yep. looks like thats the only possibility.
orrr
maybe there is a different angle to the entire story
maybe the boy has a secret lady love
maybe they were trying something akin ala Led Zepp,
maybe they then decided to do what 14 year old boys and girls are likely to do
maybe the fish then ,having found a new opening in life, decided to emigrate…..
less plausible then going to pee with a fish in the hand…??
Wow now that is some crazy business, That boy probably put that fish up there. I should not be laughing but I am he is going to catch hell from the clowns in his school if they get wind of this. When I was reading this I was saying damn more times than Florida Evans on “GOOD TIMES”.
Yikes. They did this as a story line on Grey’s Anatomy…a man had a penis-fish (their term not mine) working its way into his bladder. Delightful episode.
A fish managed to crawl up the hole? That’s one mighty, big khram
Melissa, I was just going to say that! That episode seemed so far-fetched at the time… the victim was Skinner, from the X-Files…
Anna, I simply must protest – posting this under “Humor” is highly inappropriate. Please consider reposting under “EEEEYYYYAAAAAOOOUUUUCCCHHHHHH”!
His instrument must be real big.
That whole thing about the candiru is a myth! 😉
Testicular torsion, now there’s something to worry about.
Great. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about when it comes to teenaged sons. Now I have to add small fish to the list.
Anna at #5 said :
!!!
Just for that gem of “desi” English, you are given the “Aunty of the year” award.
May the humor never cease to flow from your pen.
p.s. this even beats your “What names are you shamelessly calling your mother now” from the earlier PUMA post.
I believe it is called catheterophilia, when you have the sexual desire to stick things in your urethra. I saw this on some tv show, I think something on discover health. The dude stuck something in his penis and he couldnt get it out because it was tearing at his urethra.
So let me get this straight. This kid was taking a piss and the fish jumped out of his hand and then suspended itself in his urine stream and it then swam upstream in his urine river and into his urethra. Well at least it is a better story then any story M Night Shamalamadingdong has come out with in the past 5 years.
do we know that this story is real? seems very similar to the candiru fish down to the spiny exterior, except that a 2 cm fish doing an aerial leap to blithely paddle up pee canal seems mighty far-fetched.
20 · Dr. Venture said
unfortunately, no.
Conclusion (though already mentioned earlier) – There is no way he can pee with the fish is his hand. Some cover up seems possible to hide the obvious fetish.
Here are some pics of the removal of Candiru
Speedo has come out with a Candiru proof swimsuit prototype. Once they figure out the minor detail of how to keep wearers from drowning, they should have a winner.
Comparing that horrendous “joke” to this light-hearted post is in exceptionally poor taste, considering what this blogger was a victim of/survived.
I ususally don’t disagree with Hitler, but…
fish in penis = funny rape = not funny
hey hitler, that joke you linked to sounds very similar to that mccain laugh riot.
That better be a female fish. Future Vice President Sarah Palin will not tolerate same sex parasites.
33 Hitler was a war hero
No water carrier for McCain but there is no proof beyond hearsay. There is stronger proof of Barack Hussein Osama^H^H^H^Hbama’s connection to terrorists. Anyway my purpose in bringing in Clayton Williams was to show that making jokes at other people’s misfortunes (like Clayton Williams and Anna did) is pretty classless. However this seems to have touched a raw nerve in some people.
35 · HitlerWasACommunityOrganizer said
with the kind of moral equivalences you seem to be making, and your newfound empathy for the disadvantaged, be careful: you might become a community organizer.
I’m surprised no one made the inevitable joke:
And Anna, I think you really need to get a fish pedicure. If I lived within 50 miles of that place, I would be there this weekend, plunking down my money.
36
Opposing government waste of tax dollars and empathizing with the disadvantaged are orthogonal.
27 · Pravin said
Faints.
2 · metal mickey said
[Raises hand.] Dude, you made me drop my fish!
I’ve heard of Godwin’s law, but the Hitler-invoking here is turning out to be ridiculous. To all you clowns, did your sixth grade teachers not come to school today or something?
41 · pingpong said
Hitler’s failure in sixth grade might have been a formative event in his anti-semitism, you know?
Also, little known fact: Hitler’s impotence was because of a rogue candiru in the rivers of the Rhine.
I know what really happened-he dropped the fish accidently in the toilet and then was trying to get it out-no fishing pole available-hence he used his pole and whoops!
sounds like a gag from the next farrelly brothers movie.
25 · meen boyz said
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blockquote>20 · Dr. Venture said
Sorry, guess you missed the ;). Just making an obscure reference to the beginning of the Venture Brothers episode, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean”, where while being threatened with being thrown to the Candiru, Dr. Venture repeatedly states that the stories surrounding the candiru are false. He’s not the brightest character, but yes, I did realize that the Candiru stories are in fact true.
That episode is probably the one of the best in the series. You should check it out.
Wha?!
weep My Gods.
seems like this 14 yr old is experimenting quite a bit! absolutely no way a fish can ‘slip’ into penis. ‘forced shoving’ is what I think happened.
22 · ExPatInLA said
Funny! I wonder at what age a desi (abd or otherwise) transitions to be an aunty/uncle! I suspect there are many who use that term are themselves being referred to as aunty/uncle by the next younger generation!
I’m never eating sardines again.
Is that true for you “Kev” ? Father time creeping up on you ?
Anna : Purely a compliment, no ageism was intended.
50 · ExPatInLA said
I was actually thinking of you. Somebody out there is probably referring to you as an uncle (or aunty)! That was the funny part.
Anna is of course forever young!
How often did you eat them before, Ennis?