Seeing things that just aren’t there

Look, I’m just about as big a Michael Phelps fan as there is out there. No disrespect here. My boy is even a fellow Wolverine. However, when I saw the new cover of Sports Illustrated I thought it was a woman until I panned up to the face. I swear, with all those medals (8) it looks like he is wearing a top similar to something you’d see at an Indian wedding (picture on left). Am I going totally crazy? Am I the only one that now has this unusual image of Phelps etched into my psyche?

Truly sorry if this traumatizes anyone.

74 thoughts on “Seeing things that just aren’t there

  1. 50 · Ram said

    Desis in India eat very rich diets (and a lot of it)
    Why are you lying so outrageously?

    Because your Dal doesnt have a thick layer of ghee and the deep fried paneer parantha doesnt taste any good without a big dollop of butter.

  2. Because your Dal doesnt have a thick layer of ghee and the deep fried paneer parantha doesnt taste any good without a big dollop of butter.

    What percentage of India can even afford “thick layer of ghee” and “deep fried paneer paratha”?

    A large percentage is dal with dry roti, and that too can be a struggle.

  3. 51 · Amsterdamguy said

    Because your Dal doesnt have a thick layer of ghee and the deep fried paneer parantha doesnt taste any good without a big dollop of butter.

    quit stereotyping the desi diet. several affluent desis also eschew fatty foods and many cuisine options in the desh are naturally low-fat and high in veggie content. moreover, indians tend to have a fairly low dairy and animal product content in their diet, and a large portion of the population eats remarkably few processed foods. protein is derived usually from lentils. seriously, your comments only showcase your ignorance about the diversity in south asian cooking, mr. 6-pack-abs-raised-in-europe-smug-uber-elite.

  4. 53 · supersize said

    quit stereotyping the desi diet

    o please, can we stop stereotype-bashing here. every time someone points to a general ttrend someone else pops in to point out the exceptions and diversity. I know, hitler stereotyped but he was a vegitarian too.

    amsterdamguy and kush are both right. too many indians are malnutritioned and, among the wealthy minority at least, a rich diet is has led to major heath problems. smug elite studs like myself are exceptions.

  5. quit stereotyping the desi diet. several affluent desis also eschew fatty foods and many cuisine options in the desh are naturally low-fat and high in veggie content

    Thanks for the laugh. Which are these mysterious cuisines you talk about? There is very little ‘healthy’ regular Indian food if at all.

  6. Also whats up with desi cooking and using tons of salt in every dish imaginable.

  7. 55 · Pagal_Aadmi_for_debauchery said

    There is very little ‘healthy’ regular Indian food if at all.

    fresh vegetables cooked in little oil, lentils, thin breads? sweets/desserts only rarely. almost no processed foods. how is that not healthy? i’ll admit though that south asian cooking tends to have more salt than the norm in most places.

    someone else pops in to point out the exceptions

    what i’m trying to say that amsterdam guy’s description of indian food is not the norm. what i describe is average, not exceptional for middle-class india. kush has already spoken about th circumstances of those with low-incomes. really, when you hear the word ‘diversity’ and ‘stereotype’ think about context, rather than evincing your typical knee-jerk republican neural response and five-alarm adrenaline-fueled fear of affirmative action (yeah, the reason why your over-achieving ass didn’t make it to harvard 🙂 and all thing multi-culti. i was talking about regionally-varied indian diets. the produce and grains are very different regionally, so people eat various cereals and grains (ragi, jowar, bajra rather than only wheat or rice) depending on where they live. there is variance because thankfully a hegemony (yup, i used that word) of the processed doesn’t prevail.

  8. 55 · Pagal_Aadmi_for_debauchery said

    There is very little ‘healthy’ regular Indian food if at all.

    hey PAFD, I’m usually a fan of your comments; so I am pointing you to a beloved and well-known food blog among desi netizens: mahanandi. enjoy!

  9. What part of my writing did you find anti-brown girl? Desis in India eat very rich diets (and a lot of it), those with cars n bikes do a lot less physical work, run in the parks or gyms isnt very common and I read that Indian people are genetically predisposed to being obese. If I was able to add 2 and 2, I would agree to what I said about paunches without having to walk around Chandni chowk. Not being able to accept criticism (though true) is very brown for sure. I am as brown as the guy who pulled your risckshaw in India and I look (except skin and face) similar to Phelps. Not an inch around the waist. Snooping low to personal jibes already?

    Your writing sounds like a DBD/ABD, cos you don’t make typical Dutch/English grammatical mistakes. But it doesn’t seem like you know much about Indian diets since they differ so much per region. South Indian diets are generally very low in calories. Furthermore I hope for the sake of gf/wife that you are not expecting the ladies to have as much % body fat as a well-trained man. Cos you know that is impossible right? Women build muscle very slowly and many have trouble losing the fat, esp South Asian women cos we’re already genetically prone to obesity.

  10. “Desis in India eat very rich diets (and a lot of it), those with cars n bikes do a lot less physical work, run in the parks or gyms isnt very common and I read that Indian people are genetically predisposed to being obese. If I was able to add 2 and 2, I would agree to what I said about paunches without having to walk around Chandni chowk.

    Why go all the way Chandni Chowk? Try Trafalgar and Times squares. Given that the study you cite seems to be a study of UK Indians, the “desis in India” part is too limiting.

    And what exactly is this “desi” food or “Indian” cuisine?

  11. 55 · Pagal_Aadmi_for_debauchery said

    Thanks for the laugh. Which are these mysterious cuisines you talk about? There is very little ‘healthy’ regular Indian food if at all.

    as expressed earlier, it depends on the region, Lankan home cooking can be either extremely high in saturated fat or in omega-6s (due to extensive use of coconut milk and “nalla ennai” or sesame oil) but if you aren’t insulin-sensitive and don’t have the relevant health history, you should be fine (factors which unfortunately don’t apply to my relatives)

    There are little things you can do, like eating whole grain rice instead of the white basmati, or going easy on the ghee, but the Ornish diet (low fat, high fibrous carb , low protein) is simply incapable of supporting a population with ‘ideal’ body composition.

  12. 57 · supersize brain, pert ass said

    what i’m trying to say that amsterdam guy’s description of indian food is not the norm. what i describe is average, not exceptional for middle-class india. kush has already spoken about th circumstances of those with low-incomes.

    i understand amsterdamguys description was incomplete, classist even, since he was describing affluent indians and the rising bourgeoisie, thus erasing most indians, who are poor; which is why I said both kush and amsterdamguy are right. u r right that there is diversity. there is always diversity, even in fat america there are lean studs like me and obama (thats 4 u, bess ;-), but trends and generalizations still exist. thus an obesity epidemic in america and in india the situation is thus:

    India is a country historically plagued by malnutrition. Even today, sixty-four hundred million Indians, 64% of the population of India are chronically malnourished (Kurtz). At the same time, 11% of the Indian population is over-nourished.

  13. even in fat america there are lean studs like me and obama (thats 4 u, bess ;-),

    And a pat on your tight gluts for not bragging about your huge…brain ; )

  14. every time someone points to a general ttrend someone else pops in to point out the exceptions and diversity.

    You and amsterdam_guy really need to take a course in elementary logic. A generalization based on the eating habits of a minority is false. Based on your logic the american diet must be low calorie vegetarian since that is a trend among a minority of americans.

  15. 66 · Jobs said

    generalization based on the eating habits of a minority is false

    yeah, i know. prema caught that #50 and was on the verge of an all out conniption. but b/f he relaoded, kush popped in, we controlled for class and presto, amsterdamguy then had a point.

  16. Manju:

    lean studs like me

    That does not compute. Your gluttonous eating and drinking habits (which you seem to be proud of), your sedentary occupation, and the inordinate amount of your free time you spend here, means that it is far more likely that you look like the stereotypical nouveau riche desi: a flabby gut, spindly arms and legs, and no stamina. The opposite of a stud, in other words.

  17. 68 · stop_lying said

    a flabby gut, spindly arms and legs, and no stamina. The opposite of a stud, in other words.

    Ron Jeremy has no stamina? Not a stud? I think not.

  18. this makes me wonder whether phelps got a chance to see the picture before it was published. if so, i can’t believe he signed off on this hot mess.

  19. To those pushing the talk about Indian malnutrition in this direction, take a look at the picture on the left once again. I’m not sure if that woman looks like someone who carries bricks and concrete mixes on her head. The guy who started this thread said that he found the two pictures similar. My comments were only about the pictures until Indian dietitians and logic experts interjected.

    I wouldn’t go in the average desi argument of how good the Indian nutrition, driving, bharatiya sankriti and corruption are. Too greasy macaca for me.

    And one more, I saw poor people a couple of years ago, poor as in those who do roadwork and construction work and looked liked they are eating slightly better than the 80s.

  20. 24 · W Varaiyaa said

    Abhi, What is it with you, and physically mocking these uber-athletes? The man achieved something no male in history of humanity accomplished in the Olympics, and you imply he’s effeminate? The world-champion swimmer in his swimming garb wearing his medals is awe-inspiring.

    I didn’t think anything in the blurb implied a mocking of Phelps.

    What struck me was the neverending quest to desify absolutely anything and everything, lol

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