Another Desi couple has a story about their courtship and wedding in the New York Times’ “Weddings and Celebrations” section. Congratulations to Dr. Anu Lala and Dr. Arvind Trindade:
The Desi weddings they are interested in are usually the ones that have a hint of drama. In this case, the groom is a Goan Christian, while the bride is a Hindu from a devout family:
Briefly, she had thought that Dr. Trindade, whose family is from the state of Goa in India, a former Portugese colony, might be the “Hindu dude†she had always imagined marrying. “We liked each other from the get-go,†she said. “We clicked. But when I found out he was not Hindu, but in fact Christian, I thought, ‘Well, it’s over.’ â€
Dr. Lala, who often adds quotes from her favorite Hindu philosophers and poets at the bottom of her e-mail messages, said she feared that her parents would disapprove and she did not want to disappoint them.
“Anu is full of life, a great sense of humor, very versatile and duty-conscious,†said Harish Alwani, a cousin of Dr. Lala’s. “She’s a family person. Her parents are her world.†(link)
They had some challenges along the way, but in the end their respective parents came around and supported them. The reporter gets a little extra-gushy when describing the actual wedding ceremony at Tavern on the Green in Central Park (great choice of venue, I must say):
On July 19, the couple were married in front of 150 guests in Central Park at Tavern on the Green in a ceremony that combined Christian and Hindu traditions. Everything in the room — from the crystal chandeliers, to the embroidered purses and shoes — glittered and sparkled like the eyes of people in love. The bride was carried into the room on an ornate sedan chair, seated serenely on a pillow, wearing a red sari and bangles.
The event began with a Christian ceremony, with the Rev. David J. Robb, a minister of the United Church of Christ, officiating.
Then the couple sat down cross-legged with Bhawani Mukherjee, who began the Hindu part of the wedding by building a small fire and chanting prayers as the couple threw flower petals and rice into the flames.
At one point, the couple stood and walked on seven fabric lily pads arranged on the floor, hopping from pad to pad as if they were crossing a pond together and reciting one vow per pad.(link)
(That last detail about the lily pads might be just a little too cute, isn’t it?)
It’s wedding season, and I imagine some readers have probably been going from place to place, watching friends and family tie the knot. Does anyone have any interesting wedding stories from the summer to share, including — but not limited to — inventive cross-cultural/cross-religious arrangements?
(One caution: while Trindade & Lala openly agreed to publicize their romance, we don’t want to invade anybody’s privacy, so please try and make sure it’s safe to share your story publicly. Thanks.)
No interesting stories, but any cross-religious wedding means that at least one of the parties has to be “religious in name only.”
I don’t understand the purpose of spending large amounts of money on weddings really. Even if you have it, spending excessive amounts of money on it seems stupid.
I don’t think it’s the question of spending loads on a wedding just that the costs are high, my cousin just got married and my aunt wanted to entertain and eat together with family and friends through out the week of the wedding. The cost of wedding especially here in the UK even more so in desi hot beds like London and Leicester has sky rocketed high. Plus quality and expectation has risen, gone are the days of having the wedding at a secondary school hall, ceremony goes on as the rest of the guests devour food. Has anyone noticed how mahraj’s are getting more impatient and take the ceremony as their chance to refine their comedy skills?
Was at a wedding the other week and well, photographers, I understand people want great photos of the wedding, but to have the biggest arsed equipment possible right in front of the ceremony obscuring so many people’s view, stopping the ceremony in-between to get more pictures making it last much longer so that people get more hungry and inpatient, I mean Mahraj “rung na nang na nang swahha, rung na nang na nang swahha (don’t know the real chant, if you have not already guessed)†photographer “hold on can you do that again but look up and smile†blooDy hell.
Did have some gorgeous strawberry shrikarnd!!
Good for these guys, as long as they are happy what else matters.
I don’t think it’s the question of spending loads on a wedding just that the costs are high, my cousin just got married and my aunt wanted to entertain and eat together with family and friends through out the week of the wedding
Fine. Go to a macdonalds. What kind of counterpoint is this? It’s not that they want to spend a lot of money, its just that they have to.
Plus quality and expectation has risen, gone are the days of having the wedding at a secondary school hall, ceremony goes on as the rest of the guests devour food.
Who gives a F*ck about expectation, be your own human being, make your decisions and tell everyone else to take a long walk off a short plank. Stand your ground.
A real woman with half a brain will understand that spending lots of money for a single days ceremony, that won’t yield any long term value, is one of the largest transgressions of common sense a person can make. How many couples have felt, “I want a divorce, oh but wait, we did spend over 50,000 on our wedding, lets rethink this.”
HMF — dude, chill.
Some people enjoy big weddings. It’s not about the money, it’s about partying with friends & family.
Granted, some Indian weddings are way over the top in terms of expense. But how is the way other people spend their money something you have to worry about? (Keep in mind that money spent by one party is money earned by another.)
Quality and expectation of the bride and groom. I’m not saying to have live elephants and hire the bachan crew doing Kajra re, but if they are thinking “oh we may get divorced so lets spend nothing, wear our G-Unit shirts and go to the registry office with our signing hands†well that’s just sad.
I agree however about not giving a F**k about people’s expectations, but always consider your own.
In terms of long term value, there loads, most of the great memories that come from weddings are from the initial planning itself, now that’s nout to do with money, but does have long term value.
Believe it or not, that was one of the minor reasons to invite everyone you knew and the whole village (hence the big cost) to the wedding, so that there is social pressure on the couple to think twice about divorce or separation since everyone they know has witnessed (darshan) their wedding! Societal pressure used to and still does play big part among Indians (what will they think?), although most desis brought up in America could probably care far less.
OK one more wedding from NYTimes today. Ty Wilde, Vinayak Tripathi.
HMF, now big desi weddings are the fault of women as well? Calm down. If you want to go get married in a McDonald’s and treat your guests to pseudo-food, that is totally your right. It’s one thing to point out the trend towards excess (which is totally prevalent in the non-desi world, believe me), another to villify anyone who chooses to celebrate in the way they want to.
Amardeep, back on your topic of wedding ceremonies, I just went to a fantastic (and gorgeous) inter-religious wedding (Muslim/Christian), and a really interesting, hybridized, and inventive multicultural commitment ceremony (atheist Jewish and lapsed Catholic Puerto Rican). The former was relatively traditional but included a joint-officiation with a priest and imam and included readings from the Koran and from poetry (no readings from the Bible, however). The latter was really fun — the couple created their own ceremony, had their best friends (who had helped get them together) officiate, held the ceremony in English and Spanish, and tailored the ceremony to their vision of their relationship, commitment, and love. It was probably the best “wedding” I’ve been to to date.
how cute are this couple. nice story. my mom is christian and my dad is hindu. i’m not sure what else i should write about this. they married 35 years ago so any dramas are long forgotten. they had a very small and non flashy wedding but i have an inkling that they want a big blow out if and when i get married in order to compensate : )
HMF: I think marriages with hundreds of guests who witness your vows have a better chance of working (i.e. defined as ended by death rather than divorce) than when the only witness to your shame is Most Rev Elvis in Vegas. Lots of research has been done on how large sunk costs lead to irrational economic decision making. People will throw good money after bad on an enterprise that is bound to fail because of the large initial investment (i.e. sunk cost). But it is also true that some happy couples just have many friends they want to share the day with, you can’t generalize.
Granted, some Indian weddings are way over the top in terms of expense. But how is the way other people spend their money something you have to worry about?
It’s a question of cost benefit, there doesn’t seem to be value associated with the cost. Weddings are supposed to commemorate a union of two individuals, not proof to the Shahs or Patels across the street that you can have more guests than them.
Societal pressure used to and still does play big part among Indians (what will they think?), although most desis brought up in America could probably care far less.
I know. and it’s a mentality that ought be changed. however, money spent is a secondary reason, the very institution of marriage is “strong enough” in the desi mind, that if broken would cause the “what would they think” line of thought. My point was, expenditure alone rarely saves a marriage, especially in a western context.
HMF, now big desi weddings are the fault of women as well?
I sense some sarcasm here, but are you going to deny that women are the general driving force behind large, lavish, extravagant weddings (desi or not) Sure you might get a father who’s a bigshot in the town wanting to show off, but I question their sanity as well.
But it is also true that some happy couples just have many friends they want to share the day with, you can’t generalize.
right, but having many friends doesn’t necessarily translate to extravagant cost. Im speaking of excess here.
It’s interesting that the groom was raised Catholic but the Christian officiating priest was UCC (as liberal as you can get without being Quaker or Unitarian Universalist).
The latter was really fun — the couple created their own ceremony, had their best friends (who had helped get them together) officiate, held the ceremony in English and Spanish, and tailored the ceremony to their vision of their relationship, commitment, and love. It was probably the best “wedding” I’ve been to to date.
and probably didnt cost a bundle either.
I’m sure there are many of these, but a wedding last year that I attended saw an over excited brother of the groom sending the younger cousin sister of the bride in tears during the tussle for the grooms shoes. The bhabis on the groom side kept telling the groom not to pay up until the father of the groom told everyone off, (in not the most polite manner) and told his son stop being an idiot and pay up. and then proceeding to tell his younger son the wrongs being over protective of shoes. The voice of reason.
Its always the bride’s sisters that win out in monetary terms by the end of the wedding and other ceremonies.
Does anyone know any desi weddings without drama of some sort??? I don’t. Weddings are so damn stressfull and most of the time not worth the stress but I have not known a single desi wedding where there was some kind of crazy opposition drama going on regarding something or the other. Even among couples where they were all from the same culture/religion/background and the parents approved!
To the haters…Indian weddings are a family affair. That’s the beauty of our culture. You can’t have a wedding at a McDonalds (how trite) with 5 people. Hell even counting “close” immediate family with cousins/uncles/aunts/kids/gramps we crossed 40 people. Weddings are about celebrating the love and union of two people in the presence of family and friends with their blessings and good wishes.
It isn’t a surprise that with the big family and friendship ties in the Indian culture weddings would be big. We had people travel from all over the country to be at our wedding and it really was the most touching part of the whole affair, the least you can do for them is give them a proper meal and a true celebration. How ridiculous to think that it’s about measuring up to the Patels and Shahs. Who gives a shit about that notion. It’s not a competition.
And since entertaining 200+ people in your backyard isn’t always practical it costs money to celebrate the day. The thing is I never get why people get so worked up about what they perceive as extravagant weddings. It’s the couple’s prerogative. If they can afford it and want the day to be special for everyone to remember it’s their choice. Who cares what anyone else thinks!!
You can’t have a wedding at a McDonalds (how trite) with 5 people.
For the record, I didnt say have the wedding at mickey-ds, although , I’d bet the heir to the mcdonalds empire probably would., rudie’s comment was “eat with family and friends for a week”
now if that isn’t excess, I don tknow what is, my suggestion (which is hyperbole) was to go to mickey-ds, meaning you can’t say “it cost so much, our hands were tied”
the least you can do for them is give them a proper meal and a true celebration.
does a true celebration mean someone parachuting off a plane landing on an elephant or whatever nonsense people do. A proper meal to me is one that fills your stomach, having the napkins match the place settings match the fork size match the chairs can’t be umbrella’d under the “proper meal” monicker.
It’s the couple’s prerogative. If they can afford it and want the day to be special for everyone to remember it’s their choice. Who cares what anyone else thinks!!
No, people are free to be grossly wasteful, illogical, and defy common sense. I have no problem with denying them that right.
if someone has worked hard for his/her money he has every right to spend it the way he chooses. what’s wrong with nice things in life such as a fun expensive wedding, a watch from emporio armani, a meal in a nice restaurant etc. i’ve really drifted away from the left when my lefty friends got to know my family better and resented and disapproved of my parents lifestyle. my dad had nothing when he was growing up and didn’t even have money for toothpaste regularly at university. he did his phd on a scholarship. so what if he likes now to drive a mercedes and live in a big house in a nice neighbourhood and also have a big wedding for his daughter. these are very small things. i can’t believe what a penny pinching scrooge that hmf fellow is. i feel sorry for his partner and children.
Personally I’ve seen people have big weddings because of their own notions of what is “appropriate” and less about “what others would think” and if everything is funded for and afforded what’s the problem? Anyone who is going outside of their affordability is just plain stupid. I’ve seen some outrageous things myself, landing in a helicopter etc but that’s their choice.
I had 235 people at my wedding and got married at a fairly decent venue and did almost all peripheral things myself saving thousands of $$$ on flowers/invitations/favors/entertainment etc and it still cost us almost $40K and I had no regrets, it was worth every penny.
I don’t think it’s anyones business to comment on the extravagance of a wedding if the person having the extravagant wedding is not complaining about how much it cost them.
HMF, both couples had moderate budgets because they are young working professionals. While one couple (the Muslim/Christian wedding) accepted some money/support from their parents for the wedding, the primary concern for both couples was that they could accommodate family and close friends. Both made the budget stretch to do that — they severely limited who they invited among “friends.” Both invited somewhere between 50-100 guests and had caterers and deposit-based venues. So, despite the DIY style of the latter couple, it was certainly lower cost than getting a wedding planner, but not an inherently or absolutely low-cost or small affair.
Ultimately, I feel like JoAT’s comment re: desi families is generally true for many. I’ll just speak personally and anecdotally as an example, understanding that my case is NOT the experience of all desis or all people getting married. I would consider myself relatively Americanized (whatever that means), and would probably not want every family member my mother knows to attend my hypothetical wedding/commitment/whatever. Even if I kept the list to “immediate” family who have been present in my life, who know me, who I would want to see, etc., it would be over 50 people from the onset. It’s the consequence of coming from a large, immigrant, family-oriented family (I suppose if we had all gone our own ways and thought of ourselves as nuclear families this list would be shorter, but I love having lots of cousins and cousin-mamas/masis and bhuas/thias/chachas to visit, relate to, and share with). There’s also the challenge of having a diasporic family; most of us are concentrated in the U.S., but I would be so sad if my great-aunts (in India) had no participation in any part of the process, and I would personally be willing to front the money to ensure they were included. While there are certainly social and family pressures involved in wedding/ceremony planning, for some of us it’s really just a utility bundle issue — we have higher value for some elements of a ceremony (and for having a public ceremony of some sort to begin with!) than for others.
strawbery shrikarnd! I never knew of this. How can this be? Must investigate.
Camille,
I didn’t want a ton of people at my wedding and wanted it small and private but you know when it came down to it how do you tell a parent they can’t invite someone they hold with high regard, have had a relationship with for 30 years of their life and want them to be there to share in their most important day. It’s not just about the bride and groom.
Also plans changed for me after I lost my mother right before my wedding and my inlaws and their extended family and friends became such a source of support for me I didn’t care who my inlaws invited. They were welcome to invite the whole world if they wanted to.
Also the notion of inviting “extended family” in the Indian context….you can’t just invite one or two people from a household, you have to really invite everyone in that household especially if you have contact with them and a relationship with them. If it’s visiting relatives from India it’s a different story but if you are inviting a couple you can’t not invite their children if they live in the same home and you’ve played with them. It’s a fine line. It’s not about obligation it’s about doing the right thing and being respectful of people you are inviting to bless you on your important day.
1 · HMF said
Not true. No one has ever accussed Matalin or Carville of being a R(D)ino.
18 · JOAT said
How ridiculous to think that “measuring up” is never a factor.
People do care what others think, and these extravagant weddings set a “high” standard across the board, even for people who can’t afford it. I went to a wedding last year where the groom, a recent immigrant, worked seven days a week–not a day off for months–to pay for his hella chintzy “extravagant” wedding, you know, big hall, dj, liquor, big catered spread, etc. I’m not going to tell the guy how to live his life but I think he’s pretty stupid (despite his degrees) to waste his life busting his ass for something so shallow. Again, I’m not telling him how to live his life, but I think he’d be better off taking a day off work and spending that time with somebody he loves rather wasting his youth and health beneath florescent lamps to make for a ceremony that’s going to last a few short hours (unless you factor in the hangovers and indigestion which might last longer than a few hours).
if someone has worked hard for his/her money he has every right to spend it the way he chooses.
I agree. everyone has the right to spend it on things of little value.
so what if he likes now to drive a mercedes and live in a big house in a nice neighbourhood and also have a big wedding for his daughter. these are very small things.
lets look at your statement:
so what if he likes now to drive a mercedes and live in a big house in a nice neighbourhood and also have a big wedding for his daughter. these are very small things.
so whats a big thing? sacrificing dreams and passion for money never helped anyone. Secondly spending lots of money on thing to prove to others how happy, successful and wealthy you are, usually exists to cover up
i can’t believe what a penny pinching scrooge that hmf fellow is. i feel sorry for his partner and children.
likewise I hope your future partner can afford all these “small” things you obviously deem as necessities, and furthermore is comfortable with being looked at as a wallet first, human being second.
but I would be so sad if my great-aunts (in India) had no participation in any part of the process, and I would personally be willing to front the money to ensure they were included
Camille, this I completely agree with, having a certain person or group of people there is one thing, it’s so they can witness the occasion. My POV stems from a wedding being a START of a process, new life, etc… so why start it with so much debt incurred. Even for those who could afford it, that money, in my view can be put to better use in much better ways.
because of their own notions of what is “appropriate” and less about “what others would think”
Do you seriously think these are not completely and totally inter-related?
and it still cost us almost $40K and I had no regrets, it was worth every penny.
sure if she foots the bill, Im up for a $40 K wedding.
I have been to plenty of desi weddings costing upwards of $100K, what is the big deal if they can afford it. Keeps the economy chugging.
I have been to plenty of desi weddings costing upwards of $100K, what is the big deal if they can afford it. Keeps the economy chugging.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and say the S&P500 will be alright if desi weddings cut down to $10K or $15k.
Harbeer,
FYI the only measuring up factor I encountered during my wedding and the countless others I’ve been part of is the “they invited us to their son’s wedding and we want them at our son’s wedding”. Personally it’s fair. And before I got married and struggled with the long list one of my friends said to me “Your inlaws have shelled out thousands of $$$ over the years for other people’s weddings, they want the same back for their son.” I was cringing at that notion though I can certainly relate having gotten married later than everyone else having shelled out tons of $$$ for other people’s milestones.
For me the comforting factor was knowing they didn’t invite people off the streets. They were people they had a relationship with and wanted them there and while their reasoning may have seemed warped at the time they were still justified. We ended up getting almost half of what we spent on our wedding back thru these “extended” guests because they were really generous with us. It’s a cycle and one that is hard to understand but when your parents have been there for you your whole life and given into all your whims and desires it’s hard to say no to them at this age.
I personally think the example you mentioned is an extreme one and I agree with you about killing oneself to have a big wedding. It all boils down to being able to afford something. Some people can afford more while others can afford less. People who can afford more have a right to it. No one has the right to judge them on it.
4 · HMF said
Translation: be your own human being [agree with me or I will whine and nag], make your own decisions [as long as they are HMF approved decisions] and tell everyone else to take a long walk off a short plank [as HMF is want to do]. Stand your ground [never waste an opportunity to derail any discussion with your own rants, and never, under any circumstance, consider an opinion or perspective that is contrary to your already-established immutable position].
sacrificing dreams and passion for money never helped anyone. Secondly spending lots of money on thing to prove to others how happy, successful and wealthy you are, usually exists to cover up
meant to say
“sacrificing dreams and passion for money never helped anyone. Secondly spending lots of money on thing to prove to others how happy, successful and wealthy you are, usually exists to cover up deep pains and insecurities about not pursuing true life passions”
This couple will generate enough wealth to fund the charitable operations of hospitals that keep MFAs, who think they are so damn cool ignoring mummy and walking around without a cap when it’s minus 20 degrees, in the pink so cut them some slack. No good deed goes unpunished I guess.
Lila: Don’t listen to them, Leftists are the kids of babus who love socialism because they got the awesome schools, clubs, subsidized apts in posh colonies. They resent the hell out of proles who thrive in their absence
never waste an opportunity to derail any discussion with your own rants, and never, under any circumstance, consider an opinion or perspective that is contrary to your already-established immutable position
How right you are, it was my evil twin BMF that posted these:
Camille, this I completely agree with [link]
I have no problem with denying them that right. [link]
People who can afford more have a right to it. No one has the right to judge them on it.
I agree with the former, not the latter. People judge others on decisions they make all the time. Hell we have a court system, where there is systematic judging done of decisions we make. If someone does something contrary to what I believe is common sense, I have the right to voice that opinion.
OK HMF I’m going to break it down for you. The cheapest option we found to host 235 people for a vegetarian lunch was $9K in NY. It was really the bottom of the pits. There was no parking at the venue enough for all the people, it was really dingy/dirty/not enough staff/no one really spoke English/bathrooms were disgusting/a walk of the kitchen made my stomach turn.
The cheapest mandap alone was about $2K and it was one of those flimsy things I could build myself. A decent mandap (and there is a religious reason attached to what a mandap is and why it’s required) is one that is built sturdy, in time and doesn’t collapse on your guests (I’ve seen it happen at a wedding) For that you require manpower and someone reliable and experienced.
Also anytime you serve food it carries large insurances attached to it. Tableware/chairs/time at venues/manpower to run your wedding all costs add up. A $15K wedding would be nice but for a larger party with the amount of coordination that goes on between all the religious and celebratory events in an Indian wedding nevermind the size it’s really just not possible.
I chose to save about $8K on flowers, invitations and favors with DIY and a tremendous amount of generous help from friends and family. Not everyone has that available to them….help and manpower.
Also spending money DOES help the economy. You aren’t implying otherwise are you?
31 · HMF said
$10k to $15k, not usual in NJ/NY. Lot of the money spend goes back to the community, in case you care.
Also spending money DOES help the economy. You aren’t implying otherwise are you?
No it does. spending money on weddings isn’t the only way to help the economy.
A $15K wedding would be nice but for a larger party with the amount of coordination that goes on between all the religious and celebratory events in an Indian wedding nevermind the size it’s really just not possible.
bummer. I would’ve reduced the # of people, but thats your perogative.
the post didnt take before.. lets try again
Also spending money DOES help the economy. You aren’t implying otherwise are you?
No it does. spending money on weddings isn’t the only way to help the economy.
A $15K wedding would be nice but for a larger party with the amount of coordination that goes on between all the religious and celebratory events in an Indian wedding nevermind the size it’s really just not possible.
bummer. I would’ve reduced the # of people, but thats your perogative.
the post didnt take before.. lets try again.. again..
Also spending money DOES help the economy. You aren’t implying otherwise are you?
No it does. spending money on weddings isn’t the only way to help the economy.
A $15K wedding would be nice but for a larger party with the amount of coordination that goes on between all the religious and celebratory events in an Indian wedding nevermind the size it’s really just not possible.
bummer. I would’ve reduced the # of people, but thats your perogative.
35 · louiecypher said
Nice one, the babus and their kids must be the biggest blob of inaction. A lot of those kids converge here.
12 · HMF said
I’m unclear on what you’re saying here. Are you saying that our peers should not hold us accountable to the commitments we make?
I know of a couple who asked for precisely that at their wedding–that their friends remind them of their intention to work through things when things got tough. A few years past and they hit a rough patch, started talking about separating. Around that time, the “bride” ran into somebody who’d been at the wedding and whom she hadn’t seen since. The “guest” asked how things were going, and the bride replied that they were in the process of going their separate ways. The guest then reminded the bride of the couple’s commitment to each other, as had been requested.
At first, the bride bristled at the interference of this acquaintance who was overstepping her bounds. Who the heck was she to stick her nose where it didn’t belong? What did she know about the complex particulars of the situation?
But the guest’s challenging of the couple’s decision to separate stuck with the bride. She thought about it for a day or two and took that reminder back to her spouse and they ended up working things out, as they had intended when they got married.
What’s wrong with accountability? Personally, I don’t believe in making promises which I may not be able to keep, but I do make every effort to keep the ones I do. I would appreciate my peers’ attempts to keep me honest in that regard–it doesn’t have to be read as busybody interference in personal lives, especially if it’s the dissolution of a publicly stated intention.
If someone spends money at their wedding, than whats wrong with that? Why is spending money (sometimes excessive) so much worse than spending 3 times on an MP3 player (I am talking about the iPOD)?? The “Patel family” who spends $1.5 million in the wedding also gets something in return. A higher profile in the society which will help them in their business in future. In that way it is a bit of an investment. But I have to agree, spending more than you can afford just because “what would people think?” is stupid. But then I dont think those people will ever get to be rich or anywhere close to being rich.
18 · JOAT said
Isn’t a wedding, by definition, dramatic? A public ritual comprised of symbolic actions. I mean, the couple doesn’t really become “one in body, mind, and spirit…” Unless I just haven’t been going to the right weddings.
42 · DesiInNJ said
this is a desi-american blog, do you really think that there are lots of children of government servants here? that would be quite a surprise…
3 · rudie_c said
In the simulated “reality tv” facade we live in, photographers (and videographers) are the main intended audience for the ritual. Mere mortals may step aside.
Human memory is fallible. Pictures, even if they are staged, are forever. Say cheese!
46 · rar said
The anti-capitalist trend here is obvious. That leads me to think, they are kids of babus, or kids of academics who never hired anyone except a maid in India. The amusing thing is, the kids in India today are much more saavy than most ABD kids I know.
I’m unclear on what you’re saying here. Are you saying that our peers should not hold us accountable to the commitments we make?
Sure they can, but only if that commitment is in our self-interest. Ie if staying with a partner is destructive to one’s on health and well-being , but you stay out of a desire to be accountable to someone else, that’s entire incorrect (and much more common than the anecdote you provided)
HMF…for all of our sakes, ponder having what Padma is always having. 😉
(you know, it might be that absence makes your comments more bracing than usual, that repeated exposure to them mitigates them and that would explain why my WTF-sensors are more sensitive/haven’t been corroded recently, but…damn, son!)