A mother’s work is never done

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For one women it seems, the biological work of mothering continues even well after menopause:

A woman said to be 70 years of age has given birth to twins in India’s northern Uttar Pradesh state after taking IVF treatment… The couple were so desperate for a male heir that they spent their life savings and took out a bank loan for IVF.

Omkari Panwar already has two daughters and is a grandmother to five children. “We already have two girls but we wanted a boy so that he could have taken care of our property. This boy and girl are God’s greatest gift to us,” Omkari said. [Link]

That’s right – she got pregnant at age 70 so she could produce a male heir! This boy isn’t even going to be able to take care of its parents in their old age, they’re already there. The sole reason for his conception was so that he could inherit the property.

While I shake my head in confusion at this (why do you care who inherits after you’re dead – you’re dead, right?), is the average American any better? It turns out that they have a strong preference for female children when they adopt:

… there are about 105 boys for every 100 girls in the general population of biological children under the age of 18. Adopted children … [however, have] 89 boys for every 100 girls. What’s more, adopted children under the age of 6 constitute a group where there only are 85 boys for every 100 girls…. the sex ratio of adopted children goes still further off-kilter if you look only at international adoptions… Girls make up about 64 percent of all children adopted by Americans outside the United States. That’s a mere 56 boys for every hundred girls. [Link]

When adopting abroad, Americans have a 2:1 preference for girls over boys. And that’s not a matter of supply, it’s purely demand:

It doesn’t matter if they’re adopting from China, where girls far outnumber boys; from Russia, where the numbers are about even; or from Cambodia, where there is typically a glut of orphan boys and a paucity of girls. Everywhere, demand tends to favor the feminine. [Link]

There are good reasons to tsk over the desi preference for boy children. Should we do the same when it comes to the American preference for girl children when adopting?

115 thoughts on “A mother’s work is never done”

  1. 94 · Dependent Arising said

    In India men don’t really open doors for women anyway. But the women still cook! So I’ll take the alpha western male who had to work on himself in order to land just a girlfriend in high school. Chances are he opens doors and cooks to boot.

    When was the last time you talked to a guy from India or for the matter of fact a girl from India? In your age group!! You need to stop thinking about your parents and open your mind.

  2. due to the machinery which is initiated by the binding of a hormone to a biomolecular receptor, causing a conformational change and a messenger cascade, etc etc etc leading ultimately to the development of certain behaviours on a macro level.

    so then the research I presented refutes that. which is what I originally said in the first place.

  3. due to the machinery which is initiated by the binding of a hormone to a biomolecular receptor, causing a conformational change and a messenger cascade, etc etc etc leading ultimately to the development of certain behaviours on a macro level.

    so are you saying the testosterone latches on to the “that girl is laughing at me because that guy hit me in the face” receptor, and tells the body “go kick his ass”?

  4. “Chances are he ultimately thinks you eat monkey brains and just wants an exotic f*ck as well.”

    hey–no way man. That’s the south Chinese do that. Indians are very gingerly about animal products they eat. As for the exotic f*ck–that’s Chinese too, I think. Or may Vietnames.

  5. It’s a reference to Indiana JOnes and the Temple of Doom. might be before your time.

  6. It is indeed a mean joke that HMF has been put in a world where he is constantly lied to by women, kept down by the white man, and harassed by the general public.

    A bullshit characterization

    Shouldn’t we all stand behind such a non-sexist, non-racist, all around nice guy?

    Using the words sexist and racism to stifle any dissent, very nice, just shows your inability to address the point, and the inequalities that I point out.

  8. 32 · HMF said

    I thought it was common knowledge that young men on the whole are more aggressive, more reckless, since testosterone stimulates such behaviours. So you are saying it’s inherent, but there are studies that say you are completely wrong. Most of male-aggressive behavior ususally manifests out of attempting to demonstrate value to women (and is internalized through early childhood into adolescence) because women naturally respond to men who thrive on competition & the ability to “defeat” other men in terms of “social value.”

    By extending the same logic, the men from Middle-East must not be aggressive at all. After all, most women there are dictated not to show any selection signals to males. They have practically no say in preferring certain males and might even be stoned if marked as adulteress. Somehow I see the males are more aggressive in the societies where women are more controlled. Perhaps it is just my lack of knowledge.

    “And social hierarchy is just a codeword for “one’s ability to attract and get positive feedback from women””

    That would actually imply women had power to show the positive feedback irrespective of the cultures around the world. In certain cultures, men can (and did) get (or buy – sex trade doesn’t enter here?) women and use them anyhow they wish without any necessity for positive feedback from women. The young men are aggressive in such cultures too compared to females.

    On a different note, men need not necessarily “attract” women for reproduction, they can just rape if they are strong and aggressive enough. Unless the logic being proposed is that woman who is being raped is somehow sending positive feedback to the male who is assaulting them.

    Before any one demanding honesty from all women (irrespective of the culture, ie, if we are talking biology here), they should demonstrate men actually prefer honesty and it would not lead to assault on women who are actually honest. If all men preferred honesty, we would not have any “acid on the face” or brutal murders of girls who honestly rejected guys, at least in some parts of the world.

  9. Unlike you, who would just assume she’s been drilled more than an oil rig.

    More often than not, that assumption has been correct. Isn’t that what women would rather have me believe anyway, rather than believe they should be held to a chaste “moral” double standard that has plagued them for eternity? I grant them the ability to have repeated sex for eternity, in fact by assuming it, I prepare myself

    Somehow I see the males are more aggressive in the societies where women are more controlled.

    Not necessarily true. I could make an argument the west is responsible for the worlds largest conflicts, America is the only nation to drop the nuclear bomb. Now, I’m not saying the A-bomb was dropped to impress some chick, but I could say that a society of excess, wealth, and power grew out of sentiments where men now needed to jump through endless hoops to woo women.

    After all, most women there are dictated not to show any selection signals to males. They have practically no say in preferring certain males and might even be stoned if marked as adulteress.

    Those are societal constraints. In more secular arab nations, like egypt, etc.. women go to clubs but wear modest clothing while walking from their house to them. selection signals exist there as well.

    That would actually imply women had power to show the positive feedback irrespective of the cultures around the world

    Again, not necessarily true. the same behavior can exist through the cultural filters. For example, parents (mothers) can force their view of value onto the women, and more likely than not, that value will be based on similar criteria of aggression & success (defeating other males) What matters is the space. A mom will like the guy who holds a steady job, makes money, and in general is emotionally stable – in her view, that’s aggressiveness and defeating other males.

    The woman wants the tatooed biker, rebellious, unpredictable, in her view, that’s “defeating other males” (in terms of excitement)

    If all men preferred honesty, we would not have any “acid on the face” or brutal murders of girls who honestly rejected guys, at least in some parts of the world.

    those are outliers. they can’t be used to disprove the rule I stated, in fact, they prove it because they are the exceptions.

  10. More often than not, that assumption has been correct.

    Oh… so degrading assumptions are evil coming from white men, but they’re perfectly reasonable coming from you? Says it all about your attitude, really.

  11. so degrading assumptions

    first of all, if it’s correct, it’s no longer an assumption.

    secondly, why is it degrading? aren’t we trying to move towards a society where men and women are equally “held accountable” for their sexual histories? I’m the one saying it’s perfectly alright for a woman to have a “checkered-past” or at the very least, it’s as “alright” as it is for a man. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

    Yes, it does say a lot about my attitude, it’s one based on equality.

  12. Comparing a woman to an oil rig and suggesting she’s “been drilled” is not flattering and not respectful, and you know that.

    Yes, it does say a lot about my attitude, it’s one based on equality.

    That’s why you were so passionately and eloquently engaged on the thread Ennis started about women beng murdered by their male relatives, right? Oh, wait…

  13. Comparing a woman to an oil rig and suggesting she’s “been drilled” is not flattering and not respectful, and you know that.

    It’s not meant to be, it’s meant to be equitable. Suggesting a guy is a “player” is also not flattering and respectful. The “drill” analogy is simply related to the physiology of the intercourse process.

    By the way, you can’t have it both ways, you can’t say, women have it tough because society doesn’t let us have sex freely with impunity, then when it’s granted say, “it’s not flattering and respectful”

    That’s why you were so passionately and eloquently engaged on the thread Ennis started about women beng murdered by their male relatives, right? Oh, wait…

    oh wait, that’s right, I don’t contribute there because there’s no contentious points to discuss! Of course I believe those sort of things are horrible. Was there anyone on that thread who approved of the male relatives actions? did anyone find that justifiable? If there were, I would have said they were wrong too. Crimes are horrible against any person, and should be prosecuted.

    See, this is a standard technique, when I point on inequities typical in a western approach to male/female relationships, the knee-jerk response is to point out these horrible tragedies in places like India and the middle east, as if the spoiled brats that drop $500 on makeup in a month have any relatability to the suffering and injustice these other women face. Assuming they have any kind of commonality with these oppressed women is a disgrace, quite honestly more disrespectful to them than I could ever be.

  14. As for the exotic f*ck–that’s Chinese too, I think.

    I believe Filipinos are the new Chinese.

  15. So I’ll take the alpha western male who had to work on himself in order to land just a girlfriend in high school. Chances are he opens doors and cooks to boot.
    Chances are he ultimately thinks you eat monkey brains and just wants an exotic f*ck as well.

    That’s what the “work on himself” part is for.

    But at any rate, who says women are not up for the occasional exotic f*ck just for it’s own sake as well every now and then?