Monthly Archives: February 2008

That’s your cousin?

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Last week Anna posted about some “controversial” statements made by a British politician with regards to inbreeding within the British Asian (i.e. Muslim) community. Specifically cited was the practice of marrying one’s first cousin. Coincidentally, a friend of mine from L.A. (Amyn Kaderali) has just finished a movie (awaiting distribution) titled “Kissing Cousins.” It is not a documentary but rather a “Relatively Romantic” comedy that tries to make the audience feel just a bit uncomfortable. Here is the trailer:

Amir is the last bachelor in his group of coupled-up friends. When they accuse him of being incapable of having a relationship and replace him as the best man at an upcoming wedding, Amir and his visiting long-lost cousin hatch a plan to prove them wrong. [Link]

Among the cast of actors is the gorgeous Rebecca Hazelwood as the hot cousin, Gerry Bednob, David Alan Grier, and…Urkel (sorry, Jaleel White…respect). Amyn also previously released the short film Call Center. Keep an eye out for Kissing Cousins at upcoming film festivals and let SM readers know how it is.

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All love is brown love

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As desis we feel that the burden of meddlesome parents is uniquely ours. Exhibit A, an email from Yo Dad to Abhi:

Also please try and select life partner before next January !! Good luck !! Love…. Dad… [Link]

How typical, right? How very … African. The text that follows is from a BBC forum on the proper role of parents in childrens’ love lives in Africa:

Should African parents stay out of their children’s love lives? Or should a happy medium be reached between traditional match making and modern dating? … Is a marriage between two people or between two families?… [Link]

That’s right, it’s not just brown parents that like to … help their children and who view marriage as being a partnership between two families, it’s African families as well. There’s a reason why Bollywood fillums are so popular across Africa.

Similarly, we feel that pressures to be pragmatic about relationships are uniquely desi. Well, what about these quotes from a first world writer:

What they understood is this: as your priorities change from romance to family, the so-called “deal breakers” change. Some guys aren’t worldly, but they’d make great dads. Or you walk into a room and start talking to this person who is 5’4″ and has an unfortunate nose, but he “gets” you. My long-married friend Renée offered this dating advice to me in an e-mail:

I would say even if he’s not the love of your life, make sure he’s someone you respect intellectually, makes you laugh, appreciates you … I bet there are plenty of these men in the older, overweight, and bald category (which they all eventually become anyway). [Link]

Marriage isn’t a passion-fest …It’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business. [Link]
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Crown vs. Turban: Unravelling the truth

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I am often amazed at the claims that so-called experts make, even in a court of law. For example, the government of Ontario recently defended its policy that Sikhs riding motorcycles should wear helmets (not a requirement in BC or Manitoba) by claming that turbans would unravel in the breeze, thus posing a risk to other motorists.

Born to be wild

… the Crown declared that an expert it had hired proved that turbans unravel rapidly in 100 km/h winds. The Crown’s test had been carried out by a professional engineer who purchased a mannequin head, mounted it on a stick and then placed the assemblage in a wind tunnel. [Link]

Say what? Turbans unravel at 60 mph? Have they ever seen a Sardar riding a motorcycle? Or riding a roller coaster? Or even sticking his head out of a moving vehicle? The paag stays on tight my friend.

To test this claim, the plaintiff, Baljinder Badesha of Brampton (can you say that 10 times fast?), tried to replicate the study. He drove down the Cayuga Speedway at … gasp, 110 kmh. Did his turban unravel and flutter into the wind like a wayward plastic bag? Ummm … no. It was fit to be tied.

Mr. Hutchison [Baljinder Singh’s lawyer] was unable to find a documented case anywhere in the world where a Sikh motorcyclist’s turban had unravelled. Skeptical, he persuaded the OHRC to authorize its own test. After he confronted the Crown with the dramatically different test result, prosecutors conceded that their engineer had grossly miscalculated the force of the wind he had generated to batter the imitation head, Mr. Hutchison said.

In fact, the device had been subjected to a 300 km/h wind. [Link]

That’s right – they used 180 mph winds in their test, more of a gale than the stiff breeze you get at 60mph. And even so, I’m not entirely convinced. I’ll bet if they used a real person with a real turban going 180 mph, it might still stay on. But in any case, given that driving at 300 kmh is illegal, the point is moot. Continue reading →

Vin Gupta, Indian Giver? (updated)

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Remember this cringe-worthy Superbowl ad about the stereotypical desi salesman who is about to be fired by his cranky white boss? [Update – changed from the Panda ad to the Ramesh ad, thanks VV]

It was written by the CEO of InfoUSA himself, Vin Gupta. The ad was not just offensive, it was a total waste of money:

The panda ad ranked 45th out of 55 ads shown during the Super Bowl. The other Salesgenie ad, with a salesman who thinks he is going to get fired, ranked 50th. [Link]

Gupta doesn’t seem to mind spending money though, as long as it gets him visibility. Gupta is an FOB, a Friend of Bill that is (although he is also a DBD). Gupta is generous to Bill not just with his own personal money, but also with the company’s resources as well:

Gupta’s Clinton connection came into the spotlight last year, when angry shareholders of InfoUSA filed a lawsuit in a Delaware court; claiming that the CEO had wasted millions of dollars of the publicly-traded company to get into Clinton’s good books.

They seem to have good cause. The plaintiffs have alleged that Gupta misused the company jet to fly the Clintons to vacations. Gupta is believed to have paid Bill Clinton $2 million for vaguely-defined ‘consulting services’. In addition, he is alleged to have spent close to a million dollars to fly Bill Clinton around the world for his Presidential Foundation work; and to fly Hillary to campaign events. [Link]

After the Clintons left the White House, Gupta hired Bill Clinton as a consultant. It’s one of two continuing business relationships he has had since leaving office, and it has been worth $3.3 million, in addition to the options on 100,000 shares of stock. [Link]

But here the story shifts, and becomes stranger.

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Indian Literature: Translation Stories

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There have been quite a few stories in the past couple of weeks about the issue of translation in Indian literature, most of them stemming, I think, from the annual Jaipur Literary Festival which took place last month. (Incidentally, I’ve been keeping up with these stories through The Literary Saloon, by far the best blog for world literature out there right now. All the links below come from that blog.)

Some of the stories read kind of like pep talks for translators — come on guys, get translating! This story, in The Hindu, might be one such example. Mini Krishnan focuses on the idea of a translator as a creative figure in his or her own right — a “conjurer.” One of the translated passages she quotes, from a Tamil writer, seemed particularly evocative to me:

The translator throws her voice so skilfully that the truth of a text originally written in an Indian language is “heard” in English. Here is Vasantha Surya translating the Tamil writer Ki Rajanarayanan: “Taking out the betel leaves one by one as if he were taking things out of a pooja box, he would lay them out with the devotion due to objects of worship. . . Next he would sniff the broken areca nut. Then he would blow on it. This sniffing and blowing procedure was repeated several times, his hand transporting the areca nut from nose to mouth, nose to mouth, more and more rapidly until ooomm-oosh, ooomm-oosh, ooomm-oosh, dabak! Into his mouth the areca nut would go, having been noisily purified.” Which Indian — educated in English, unable to read his mother tongue or born of a mother other than Tamil — will not thrill to such a retelling? (link)

What I liked about this is the fact that the translator doesn’t feel the need to translate every word. Even though I don’t know Tamil, I have a pretty good idea of what a word like “dabak” must mean, just from context. I think even writing originally written in English can often get away with the inclusion of many more words from Indian languages than people might think. (I’ve seen my students pick up words on their own as they read books by Indian authors. They often have no idea how to pronounce them, but the foreignness of the words usually doesn’t stop a dedicated reader; if anything, it presents them with an interesting puzzle to solve while reading.)

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Flying high with just one engine

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The folks over at Cinematical.com have been taking an early peak at some of the films that will be playing at this year’s SXSW Film Festival in Austin. This one immediately caught my eye as a film that more people need to know about:

FLYING ON ONE ENGINE captures the story of the severely disabled Dr. Dicksheet, a man who has donated his surgical skills to the cause of alleviating suffering among India’s poor. The film both highlights the problems of cleft lip and other congenital deformities, and also tells the dramatic story of a person risking his life to help those in need. Emphasizing Dr. Dicksheet’s frailty, his surgical brilliance, and the spectacular effects of his actions, this film juxtaposes the Nobel Prize nominated surgeon’s godlike status alongside the incredible desperation of the Indian community in which he serves.

The website of The India Project which Dr. Sharadkumar Dicksheet (from Brooklyn) runs is filled with inspirational pictures and stories, so I am glad someone has made a documentary about his work to spread the word. He is an eight-time Nobel Prize nominee and although he is himself hobbled by sickness, his patients think of him as a “God” for the help he brings to their lives.

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Young Padawan

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Star Wars fans were excited to learn today that a new animated film based on the the Star Wars Universe will be released this August:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars makes its theatrical debut as an all-new, computer-generated feature film in August 2008, followed by a television series in the fall.

The new adventures in a galaxy far, far away apparently take place between the second and third Star Wars prequel films, similar to the Clone War series of the same name that ran between 2003 and 2005. Returning characters include Anakin Skywalker – who later becomes Darth Vader – along with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme Amidala. New heroes also join to battle familiar villains from the Star Wars prequels, such as Darth Sidious, Count Dooku, and General Grievous.

“I felt there were a lot more Star Wars stories left to tell,” said George Lucas, Star Wars creator and executive producer of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. “I was eager to start telling some of them through animation and, at the same time, push the art of animation forward…” [Link]

One of the major points covered in the press release is that a new female Jedi character will be introduced. She will serve as Anakin’s padawan (the way Anakin was Obi-wan’s padawan). The name of this young Jedi (who will of course eventually be hunted down and killed by Vader) is Ahsoka Tano:

… among the familiar characters like Obi-Wan, Anakin and Yoda is a mysterious new Padawan named Ahsoka Tano.

This young Togruta is eager to prove herself as a worthy Padawan to her bold Master, Anakin Skywalker. Able to wield a lightsaber and pilot a spacecraft with great talent, Ahsoka promises to become a worthy Jedi. [Link]

Tano joins a long list of other sci-fi desi characters. Mysterious is right though, because I can’t find much of a backstory on her yet. The name Ahsoka makes it seem like she is Indian (dot not feather) but the name Tano makes it seem like she is Indian (feather not dot). Or maybe, since this all happened a long long time ago, and in a considerably far off galaxy, ethnically ambiguous is ok. For those of you who like bad-ass ambiguously desi chicks, get your tee-shirt here. For those of you who like your animated warriors more traditional, there is always this.

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NBC gets real with Desis, for Valentine’s Week

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Sugi’s post on how to make babies who will possess certain characteristics via Sarkai lo khatiya jaada lage on prescribed days of the month (with both of you keeping your eyes open, got that? no eyelash fluttering out of unbearable ecstasy) is so much more mutinous than what I’m going to post, but I believe in diversity, so while she brought the funny, I’m bringin’ the schmaltz. No, not schmaltz as in rendered goose fat which can be spread on bread as is done in German and Jewish cuisine, schmaltz as in the unbelievably literal “Every Kiss begins with K”-schmaltz.

Still with me? No? Perk up. It’s tea time, lovers.

Last night, I watched “Deal or No Deal, for the first time, ever. That show is mesmerizing with its repetition and stupidity. I wanted to tell the firefighter whom they were featuring that his response of

$100,000…wow…that could do a lot…it’s like, two years salary

in response to Howie’s ridiculously leading question

How would that change absolutely everything for you and your pregnant wife, who has to put up with you working two jobs?

was actually incorrect, since taxes would eat nearly half that amount and so it was really more like ONE year of his salary, but whatevs.

Though I had an hour to waste, I still couldn’t understand why I was watching such garbage while waiting for my dirty-little-secret-TV-cocktail of “Super Nanny” and “Cashmere Mafia”– which is on an entirely different network. But you know what mutineers? It turns out that everything happens for a reason.

During one of the commercial breaks on NBC, my browndar went off like police sirens in Adams Morgan on a Saturday night. Through my keen peripheral vision, I saw a brown face sinking and then looking up. I whipped my head around (oww) and realized that some random Desi had just proposed to their future Karva-Chauth-hostage (KIDDING).

What the-?

Visit NBC.com/Love for more about this couple…sponsored by Kay Jewelers…every Gambia-Senegal session after Applebee’s begins with Kay…

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Happy Walentine’s Day

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I have been saving and saving and saving this post, since it seemed to me most appropriate for Walentine’s Day.

Cheap V- and W-switching jokes aside, as you may remember, I was recently in Singapore. Along with Preston Merchant, photographer extraordinaire, I made my way out to the Sri Senpaga Vinayagar Temple, on Ceylon Road in Katong. This temple, which just may be my favorite temple in the world, is gorgeous. It’s beautifully painted, clean, and welcoming. It’s got a huge collection of different Ganeshas, and all the priests are from Sri Lanka. Ceylon Tamils in Singapore built the temple over a century ago, but now Hindus of all backgrounds worship there. ceylontemple.jpg

There are rules for worship on the wall that detail the kind of clothing to be worn, and the temple pamphlet specifies an order of worship. But the reality of the temple did not hew to the rules as they were written—indeed, no temple I know really does. Women came in dressed for work, toting children; live musicians played nathaswaram; priests served warm paiassam; people worshipped in the order that pleased them (or, at least, I did). They let Preston take pictures. I paid for prayers in my family’s name. The chief kurrukkal loaded me down with books about the temple and gave me a tiny statue of Ganesha, gratis. It didn’t feel like a place with many rules—just a lot of warmth.

The temple also has a store. I purchased many things there: a few Ganesha pendants, a five-faced Ganesha statue, Ganesha keychains, and some books. Among the books: guidelines to funeral rites for Saivite Hindus—and guidelines to marriage for Saivite Hindus.

I pointed at the display case on the wall and told the volunteer running the store that I wanted both.

“Both?”

“I’m preparing for my whole life here,” I said. “Who knows when I’ll come back to Singapore?” Continue reading →

India’s Next PM?

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There was a story about the Chief Minister of the state of Uttar Pradesh (UP), Mayawati Kumari, on NPR a couple of days ago. Mayawati’s party is the Bahujan Samaj Party, a primarily lower caste (BC, SC, ST) party, and Mayawati was the first Dalit woman to be Chief Minister of an Indian state. Though her earlier political campaigns were full of vitriol against the upper castes, her decisive victory in state elections in May 2007 occurred partly because she’s now branched out to work with upper castes (she’s said she now favors reservations based on income level, not just caste). Mayawati is also branching out geographically, to try and bring her party to power in upcoming elections in neighboring Madhya Pradesh, and she’s begun saying publicly that her real aspiration is to hold power at the Centre — to become, in other words, the next Prime Minister.

mayawati.jpg

Impressive, right? Well, not so fast. Mayawati is also flagrantly, unapologetically corrupt, and the prospect of her coming to power is also rather frightening, once you start to look more closely. Here, for instance, are some bits from the BBC: Continue reading →