IPL: Unofficial Team Naming Galata

You may have noticed that SM covered an upstart, professional cricket league’s launch last year. It was the brash, confident, cheerleader-laden counterpart to the then ephemeral IPL (which even then boasted an incredible array of current and former international players) Well, it’s finally time for the BCCI and ICC approved version to commence it’s own charge at the most amazingly cricket-mad market in the world. First, the bare facts:

Vijay Mallya’s UB group (Bangalore, 111.6 million) India Cements (Chennai, 91 million) GMR group (Delhi 84 million) Deccan Chronicle (Hyderabad, 107 million) a consortium led by Emerging Media(Manoj Badale, Lachlan Murdoch and investors) (Jaipur, 67 million) Shah Rukh Khan’s Red Chillies Entertainment (Kolkata, 75.09 million) Preity Zinta, Ness Wadia(Bombay Dyeing), Karan Paul & Priya Paul(Apeejay Surendera Group) and Dabur’s Mohit Burman (Mohali, 76 million) and Mukesh Ambani’s Reliance Industries Limited (Mumbai, 111.9 million)

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All that we know, at present, are the owners and the likely competitors. What we don’t know is whether it will achieve the kind of balance between hometown talent and international stars to achieve lasting appeal–qualities that the ICL seemed to have exhibited.

I know the mutineer community loves a good name-off/caption-off, so I submit to you the task of naming these franchises. Foul or fair, Bucknor ornor Benson, this might be the beginning of a beautiful thing. I do fear greatly for the teams owned by entities as staid as “India Cement” and it is out of this very genuine concern that I submit the task of naming these franchises to the SM community.

I will offer a reward to the commenter who supplies my favorite team name: a choice of me wearing your favorite national side’s kit for a day, or a video of my best, back-of-the-hand, Muttiah Muralitharan impersonation.

(please note, literary beamers, bouncers, jatz cracker rockers and looping shies at the stumps are enthusiastically encouraged )

34 thoughts on “IPL: Unofficial Team Naming Galata

  1. The Mumbai Stock Market Crashers The Delhi We are better than Mumbaikers The Jaipur Pinks The Hydera-baddies The Bangalore Consultants The Chennai Madrasies The Mohali Turbanators The Kolkata Ganguly’s

  2. Dude, what are those numbers in millions?

    The numbers are millions of US dollars these people have invested to buy a team franchise. Similar to owning ManU or Arsenal.

  3. my comment or question has nothing to do with this post; but I have to ask –while reading this post, i noticed that your sepia mutiny header has a picture of tintin–now i love tintin –but since all your pics with your headers qualify as desi, how did tintin manage to get in? sorry for the off post question

  4. As the Dai Ichi Desi Blogger greatbong hopes, so do I, that every IPL franchisee looses his shirt. This is an affront to good taste committed by the klepto/plutocratic oligarchs of BCCI. This is going to be a crashing flop. 20-20 is fast paced stuff and not meant for superannuated test cricketeers. Even the Superfit Aussies were left panting, and breathless by the energetic Indian and Pakistani teams. Ponting’s famous dismissive “What’s the difference between 1-day and 20-20, simpky 40 overs” is the boneheaded comment of the season. So here’s my A-list of team names

    -Bombay Bores -Calcutta Comatose -Madras Morons -Jaipur Jadeds -Delhi Doofuses -Hyderabad Humpties -Mohali Milquetoasts

    Mark my words. IPL is going to be a crashing bore. You read it here first.

  5. As the Dai Ichi Desi Blogger greatbong hopes, so do I, that every IPL franchisee looses his shirt. This is an affront to good taste committed by the klepto/plutocratic oligarchs of BCCI. This is going to be a crashing flop. 20-20 is fast paced stuff and not meant for superannuated test cricketeers. Even the Superfit Aussies were left panting, and breathless by the energetic Indian and Pakistani teams. Ponting’s famous dismissive “What’s the difference between 1-day and 20-20, simpky 40 overs” is the boneheaded comment of the season. So here’s my A-list of team names

    The ICC can ill afford to ignore the power of the 20/20 format when it comes to perseverance in a viewer’s market patently unfriendly to the sport of cricket. Money will have to be made to support Test cricket, especially now that it’s painfully clear that the best 20 overs of an ODI are more ably and pleasingly presented within the framework of a 20/20 match. Who will wish to endure another middle-30-overs melodrama of slow-bowling suffocation from the likes of Daniel Vettori when there exists formats which cast such abhorrent and stultifying containment away in favor of varied attacking bowling and batting strategies?

    BTW, Australia did make it to the finals of the 20/20 WC.

  6. Ponting’s famous dismissive “What’s the difference between 1-day and 20-20, simpky 40 overs” is the boneheaded comment of the season.

    Especially since the difference is 60 overs.

    Personally, I think that one-day cricket in its current form is destined to die a slow death, because it showcases neither the skills and tactical battles that make Test cricket so fascinating, nor the visceral thrills and easy digestability of 20/20. Of course, it might continue to exist in a morphed form over time by absorbing more aspects of 20/20, being shortened some more etc., but basically, right now, it is caught in no-man’s land much like Wasim Jaffer on a seaming pitch.

  7. The possibilities of ‘favoring’ sponsor companies are endless. One of the ‘honorary’ BCCI honchos got his ‘team’ in the door.

    ‘The one sour note was struck when Modi was asked whether there was a conflict of interests in India Cements, of which BCCI treasurer N Srinivasan is vice-chairman and managing director, becoming a team owner. “Mr Srinivasan is just a stakeholder there, he is not the owner,” Modi said. “So there is no conflict of interests.” ‘

  8. 12 · Tipu said

    ‘The one sour note was struck when Modi was asked whether there was a conflict of interests…

    Yeah, and is the Midwest cold in winter? The BCCI is simply another fiefdom for the feudals. There is nothing wrong in businesmen controlled sporting franchises. But when it is a owner who does does sports and little else like the venerable Rooneys, a Steinbrenner, or even a non-profit city backed trust like the Green Bay Packers sport gains as risky long term investments are made that advance the game. Otherwise all you have is tamasha with the public joining in as fleeced fools.

    If the ICL is smart it should bring about sweeping changes to the game and make it more and more like galli/teruvu cricket, which is marked by spontaneity, vigor, and excitement. A game of pickup cricket usually has twist. Variations include one-bounce catches, hit-and-run, no full toss hits to the fence, off-side/leg-side only strokes etc. And then maybe we can have an ICL vs. IPL Super Bowl. About time, because even NFL seems to be becoming a baseball clone. Darn, I am wondering what the excitement over this year’s Super Bowl is all about. It’s just another East Coast match up – not the Red Sox vs. Yankees maybe but still anotehr Boston-NYC matchup. Boring!

  9. jyotsana on January 26, 2008 07:37 AM

    And then maybe we can have an ICL vs. IPL Super Bowl.

    I am ALL for that scenario. And before the game, Kapil Dev and Sharad Pawar must afix their foreheads to the top of an upright cricket bat’s handle, run 10 full circles around the bat without breaking that contact and then find the Vadai the head umpire has tossed onto the pitch right before they attempt to stand upright. It’s fairly popular with American minor league baseball teams.

    Literary is exactly right. The odd beamer by Sreesanth is much worse than the frequent one by Brett Lee because of how good the emoting is in the apology that follows.

    Rahul, machaan, i’m having trouble divining the exact trajectory of your snark here. When I used ‘literary’ I meant that it either involved or invoked more emotion than the usual beamer, bouncer or shy at the stumps.

  10. Wow–$100 million is an awful lot to pay for a cricket franchise. I wonder if that investment will ever come close to paying off.

  11. Rahul, machaan, i’m having trouble divining the exact trajectory of your snark here. When I used ‘literary’ I meant that it either involved or invoked more emotion than the usual beamer, bouncer or shy at the stumps.

    The snark is directed plumb at Atherton’s writing hand and heart. Brett Lee’s beamer barrage was deemed acceptable in 2005, because he’s always beaming, such an all round good egg with whom one can have a pint of ale at the pub, and you know a fine chap like him wouldn’t do something that’s just not cricket. The occasional one from Sreesanth, certainly acknowledged as a bowler of far lesser skill – and hence more likely to err when trying to hard, on the other hand, was an offense worthy of bans in 2007 because they were almost certainly born out of malice, and his emoting during his apologies was more Hugh Grant than Laurence Olivier.

  12. 19 · Rahul said

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    blockquote>

    Rahul, machaan, i’m having trouble divining the exact trajectory of your snark here. When I used ‘literary’ I meant that it either involved or invoked more emotion than the usual beamer, bouncer or shy at the stumps.
    The snark is directed plumb at Atherton’s writing hand and heart. Brett Lee’s beamer barrage was deemed acceptable in 2005, because he’s always beaming, such an all round good egg with whom one can have a pint of ale at the pub, and you know a fine chap like him wouldn’t do something that’s just not cricket. The occasional one from Sreesanth, certainly acknowledged as a bowler of far lesser skill – and hence more likely to err when trying to hard, on the other hand, was an offense worthy of bans in 2007 because they were almost certainly born out of malice, and his emoting during his apologies was more Hugh Grant than Laurence Olivier.

    understood. very well said. I don’t care for Athers in general.

  13. atherton also wrote a column last year saying tendulkar was nothing more than a comic hero now.

  14. Bengal Cincinnatis – LOL! it should probably be more like Calcutta Commies or the Hooghly Googlies ;-)

  15. 3 · Rahul said

    The Pettai Rappers. (maybe they specialize in LBWs?)

    YOU JUST COMPLETELY MADE MY DAY. I haven’t seen that song in such a long time! Oh, and I personally like the South Bombay Snobs. (Perhaps the Bad News Bengalis?) Okay, I’m really bad at this as you tell. :(

  16. The Mumbai Ghaatis The Delhi Thugs The Jaipur Marwadis The Hydera-Gultis The Bangalore Uthappas The Chennai NariyalPanis The Mohali Sardars The Kolkata Urchins

  17. The business case for IPL is not as strong as people make it out to be

    From this analysis of IPL’s business case on TOI

    BCCI expects the franchisees to earn $1.5 million from gate money in every IPL match, but insiders say the figure is “exaggerated” and that the franchisee will be fortunate to get $1.5 million from 7 home matches at home. In fact, highly charged India-Pakistan one-day matches make around $3 to $4million.

    IPL is expecting that people will pay exorbitant amounts to go watch the games.

    However, based on IPL’s calculation, tickets will have to be sold for Rs 750 to Rs 1,000 per match for gate money to be of the estimated levels. Will the fans pay that much?

    Looks like some “hype” is going on.

  18. Nayagan #9 – “BTW, Australia did make it to the finals of the 20/20 WC”

    Actually, the final was contested between India and Pakistan, with India of course winning. Aussies lost in the semis.

  19. UmraoJaan,

    you’re absolutely correct. Aussies crashed out in the semis. I should have remembered that, considering I ponied up the dough to watch it online.

  20. Some of the names your readers have come up with is simply great. Hope the franchisees will take note of these wink wink