Drunk Women in Juhu: “What were they expecting?”

shame on them.jpg Soon after New Year’s Eve, we began receiving tips about a dreadful incident in Bombay involving two young couples who were on vacation (Thanks, Rahul and many others):

A mob of 70-80 men groped and molested two young women for some 15 minutes on a busy main street in Mumbai’s glamour district Juhu early on New Year’s Day.
An identical incident had shamed India’s safest city exactly a year ago — a girl was molested by New Year’s eve revellers at the Gateway of India. That incident was captured on film by a popular Mumbai tabloid; Tuesday morning’s horror was shot by two Hindustan Times lensmen who happened to be on the spot.
The women — one in a black dress, the other in a jeans and top — emerged from the JW Marriott with two male friends around 1.45 am, and began walking towards Juhu beach close by.
A mob of about 40 got after them and began teasing the women. One of the women swore loudly at the hooligans.
But the mob, now 70-80 strong, wouldn’t let go. They trapped the women near a vehicle and a tree, and pounced on them. A man in a white shirt tore off the black dress. Another, in a blue shirt, led the assault. As the women fell on the ground, dozens of men jumped on them. [HT]

The story and the wide-spread, collective anger it inspired grew considerably when the Police Inspector tasked with the case expressed himself in a regrettably insensitive way:

The comments of the Mumbai police commissioner, DN Jadhav further enraged the people: “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Keep your wives at home if you want them safe. This kind of small things can happen anywhere”. [meri]

Excellent. Two women who were brutalized deserved it because they were out and about, instead of in the kitchen. While a few Mumbaikars agreed with that unfortunate view, others certainly did not:

Arjun Ghai, executive with an MNC says, “The act was shameful but the attitude of the police in this regard is even worse. If MF Hussain puts up his paintings or a Hollywood star kisses a Bollywood actress, the Shiv Sainiks come to life, but what about such cases? It is the people of our great nation who need to be blamed. I am sure those who were involved in this gruesome act had sisters and wives sitting at home. Did they think about them even for an instance? No wonder we are living among vultures ready to pounce on the flesh of vulnerable women at the drop of a hat.”
Mira Sud, boutique owner opines, “I heard someone say that the girls might have been drunk or led the guys on. This is absolutely crazy. In a nation like ours where we worship Sita and Laxmi, people tend to lose their moral sense at times. Claiming that a woman might have been drunk is no reason or excuse. What about those instances where the men get drunk and pounce on women? Nobody blames them. In this male-dominated society of ours, we tend to blame the female gender without even considering the situation.”[meri]

Thankfully, someone contradicted Jadhav:

The state’s Deputy Chief Minister R R Patil made a statement saying, that the police chief’s reaction was inappropriate and that the government was taking the matter seriously. [NDTV]

As I alluded to earlier, some of the more retrograde opinions (which I didn’t care to publicize or quote) declared that these women were “asking for it” by behaving shamelessly and not respecting traditions which apparently involve always staying at home, lest one entice a helpless man to molestation. Well, these weren’t disobedient, frisky, fornicating teens on the beach (not that they’d deserve any of this either).

The newly-wed, NRI couple who faced humiliation at the hands of a mob in Juhu on New Year’s eve, had married in a traditional ceremony in Gujarat just a day before the incident
Hiten Patel and his wife had come down to Mumbai along with Hiten’s cousin and his wife a day after their wedding to bring in the New Year. The couple wanted to holiday in India for a fortnight before flying back home.
Hundreds of their friends and relatives from the US had flown down to India for the wedding. Hiten’s uncle Sunil Patel told TOI, “Hiten was born in the US and has lived in Texas. He runs his family-owned chain of motels. His wife is pursuing her MBA in the US and theirs was an arranged match.”
The couple is still in a state of shock following the molestation. Hiten’s wife has said she’s trying to “get over the horror” while expressing her anger over the fact that bystanders had not come to their rescue. But when Hiten spoke to TOI, he said there were some people in the crowd who tried to “help us pick up our belongings. I have not lodged a police complaint since I do not want the wrong people to be booked.” [TOIlet]

Do some of these the so-called traditionalists feel a little sorry for condemning these women, now that we know they were so obedient and homely, one of them allowed her parents to choose her husband? Sorry, what’s that? All I hear is crickets chirping. Now it is two weeks later, and the alleged culprits are denying involvement:

The Juhu molestation case accused on Wednesday said that they were innocent. Addressing the media, the accused who are out on bail, said that they were merely onlookers who were pushed by a crowd on the New Year’s Eve, and the photographers clicked the wrong persons.
The men, in a belligerent outburst, accused the media of jumping too fast to their own conclusions. One of them said that he was not even there at the spot when the incident occurred.
“We were returning from dinner and saw a crowd of 150 surrounding two couples. We became curious and got thrown into the scene. The photographers just clicked our pictures and the police took us for interrogation,” the accused said. [Zee]

But wait! There’s MORE. These men don’t know when to shut up, but that flaw gave me my title for this post, so a microscopic thank you to these perverts for that:

The men didn’t stop at that clarification. They said that while the newspapers splashed ‘molestation’ pictures, they did not write a word about how the girls in question were drunk.
“The couples were in an inebriated state. They were smooching on the road. What were they expecting?”, they said. [Zee]

If this outrageous molestation of a new bride and her cousin wasn’t revolting enough, unfortunately several other instances of assault are in the news, some of them involving tourists, which has helped muddy India’s name on an international-scale.

Over New Year’s Eve, cases of molestation of tourists were reported both in Mumbai and Kochi.
A British journalist has alleged she was raped by the owner of the guesthouse in Udaipur where she was staying last week.
In another incident in Rajasthan, a 28-year-old American tourist was allegedly molested by a priest in front of a temple in the Hindu pilgrim town of Pushkar. The priest was subsequently arrested. [MalaysianSun]

2007 wasn’t so great for female travelers, either:

In March last year, the son of an important police official, was found guilty of raping a German researcher in Rajasthan.
Also last year, a Japanese tourist complained that she was drugged and raped by a group of men in Pushkar.
The latest report from the National Crime Records Bureau shows there has been a phenomenal eight-fold increase in rapes in India since 1971. [MalaysianSun]

About that appalling increase in rapes– Chachaji posted a link on the news tab which discusses exactly that chilling upward trend:

The latest crime statistics, pertaining to 2006, released by the Home Ministry’s National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) show that every hour 18 women become victims of crime. The number of rapes a day has increased nearly 700 per cent since 1971 — when such cases were first recorded by NCRB. It has grown from seven cases a day to 53.
The figure grew 5.5 per cent over the number of cases registered in 2005.
In comparison, all other crimes have grown by 300 per cent since 1953 when the NCRB started keeping records.
And these are just the cases that have been reported; the number of unreported cases is far higher. [HT]

Now that last bit has been on my mind while wading through all of these links that so many of you mutineers were kind enough to send in– is there an increase in the number of rapes or an increase in the number of rapes which are being reported?

According to NCRB figures, among 35 cities with a population of more than a million, Delhi topped the list of crimes against women with 4,134 cases (nearly one-fifth of the total crimes against women). One-third of the rapes and a fifth of the molestations took place in the city. Hyderabad was second most dangerous for women with 1,755 cases.
Among the states, Andhra Pradesh had the highest number of crimes committed against women — 21,484 cases or 13 per cent of the total cases in 2006. Uttar Pradesh was a close second, with 9.9 per cent of such crimes. Madhya Pradesh reported the highest number of rape cases, at 2,900, and also molestation cases. [HT]

Frustration is palpable, and not surprising. Tourism is important to Incredible India. Beyond that, regular ol’ Indians and NRIs are rightfully angered by such ugly acts. Yes, India has a conflicted view of women; for all the negativity associated with issues like infanticide, dowry deaths and other well-known social ills, there is also a strain of that so-called “traditionalism” (which the accused disgustingly attempted to use as justification for their reprehensible actions) which is protective of women. India is that complicated and that simple.

In DC, desi cab drivers in their idling Crown Victorias duck slightly to peer at stranger-me, their faces filled with worry, until I unlock the inner doors to my apartment lobby, enter and wave gratefully– they hear these news stories and feel anguish as they replace the victims at Juhu with their own kin. They worry out loud that India is changing and for the worse. Why do they wait to make sure I’m safely inside those glass doors? Because during my ride home from work or Trader Joe’s, they’re telling me about how they have a daughter my age or a niece who also took her Master’s at GW. There are more of these men than those who emulate the after-goodies mob at Juhu, but they will be obscured by all this scandal.

It must be so frustrating; at a time when so many exciting, promising things are happening in India, what is a foreign country going to cover– the Nano or the brutal rape of one of their female citizens? Even if they publish stories on both, which will retain the most mindshare, especially among those who are predisposed to believe the worst?

What the perpetrators of these sexual assaults fail to understand is that in commiting these lust-fueled, power-hungry attacks, they don’t just bruise or traumatize innocent women; they thoughtlessly and recklessly give their country a black eye, as well. If nothing else convinces these assholes to keep their hands to themselves, perhaps it might be effective to convey to them that a Cricket-related slight isn’t the only reason to obsess over India’s reputation; if they care so much about their country’s honor because of an unfair decision in Australia, they should spare a thought for India’s honor off the pitch, too.

408 thoughts on “Drunk Women in Juhu: “What were they expecting?”

  1. Respect begins at home.

    This is so true. So does education. The trend in India to ban sex education is certainly troubling. The unwillingness to talk about sex in any context in India seems (to me) to have led the natural act of sex to become labeled as wrong and bad. So these men (not that I am defending their despicable acts in any way) cannot seem to distinguish between outright harassment and modern flirting in their own minds. It does not help that access of pornography through the internet has become so widespread and distorts their view of the modern woman even further. These men are left to piece together their own picture of women, drawing on movies, television, porn, stories shared among friends who are doing the exact same thing, and the like. No wonder this horribly misguided view of women is so widespread. I’m not trying to tag all men as evil, but I don’t see how this mentality will ever change unless respect, equality, and basic physical human functions are taught in the home and at an early age.

  2. 20 · tarta said

    there are crimes against women in every society, in every big country, but what is unique here are the attempts to justify it , by the police chief , no less, that the women in some way deserved it. this characterization of women as “good” or “bad” based on perceived scantiness of clothing, public display of affection towards a boyfriend or husband is a disgusting attitude that needs to change

    Very well stated. Violence against women is in no way isolated to India–however, it was the public justification of it by important officials that deserves the public outrage it’s getting.

  3. 196 · HMF said

    Isn’t that at some collective level, what must be done though? I’m not saying you should be the only one to do it.

    Your right, and my next sentence in that post stated that the history of rape and sexual assault is that its an act rooted in power and entitlement. I was therefore, referring to that history as to the mental backdrop in which these attackers were acting. My sentence was reacting more to your query: But would more lax attitudes towards pornography/prostitution mitigate these types of outbursts? I don’t know, but given the reason why most attacks occur I don’t see how it mitigates them. Especially where both hard core porn and prostitution devalue and degrade women.

    Well I was going with the presupposition that these types of incidents are sort of an epidemic to India and Indian society (not that I agree with that 100%, rather just starting from that presupposition) then the only way to root it out is to determine what characteristics are India-specific, right?

    I don’t disagree. I think its fair to ask whether there’s anything specific with the Indian experience that allows this to flourish. However, I do think that there’s something fundamental to these sorts of attacks across racial or ethnic origin. Sexual assault has been performed by invading armies for centuries as an additional means to insult their enemies and demonstrate the power of that army/soldier over a person/country. That kind of behavior only stopped when commanders of armies decided it had to stop. I don’t see any specific reason why we should view it differently with India or Indians, especially in the context of a mob attack. If the authorities allow it to persist, it will continue.

    Like you, I’m not comfortable starting with the idea that its an epidemic to India and India society. Rather, I believe that its more of a reflection that more women are now willing to speak about this violence rather than remain silent, thus you see the uptick in reports. Sexual assault has probably been underreported for ages. Maybe also a result of the fact that in the modern age, more women are coming into daily contact with men than before (going to work, more mobility) where as prior, they may have been relegated to the home.

    As for Indian specific reasons, a commenter up above, mentioned that India has a larger male to female ratio and that maybe a basis for why these attacks occurred. The strength in numbers combined with a mob mentality, may have something to do with it. Maybe the fact that a discussion of sexuality is so verboten gives more power to an attacker as it makes the victim feel worse. Once again, I’m not sure. The only thing I know definitively is what this crime represents to the attacker and what its meant to do to the victim. In that vein, its not about sex or sexuality.

    I just said the dehumanization cannot be equated.

    No disagreement here. Any form of dehumanization doesn’t make any sense to me. That’s why I don’t believe one form of dehumanization could mitigate another.

  4. 27 turd said · turd said

    i wasnt talking about rapes/molestation that happen in private, but those that happen here in the US in public.

    I don’t know of any public rapes of women in the U.S. by a mob of 50+ men.

  5. 34 · brown_dbd said

    As far as generalizing this to the whole of India is concerned, I feel that we should refrain from that. This seems like an isolated incident and any attempts to understand the Indian man psyche (based on this) will be highly inaccurate.

    Well noted.

  6. Also, in regards to the earlier points made about whether prostitution should be legalized as a response to this problem, I don’t think that would do much. Prostitution is already pretty widespread in India. What it would do is provide for the care of the prostitutes themselves and thereby help mitigate the spread of disease (it blows my mind that states in a country with such a rampant HIV problem have banned sex education).

  7. drawing comparisions between india and america are irrelevant to this specific situation. read the comments column of any major indian newspaper about this incident. indians in india as a whole are appalled and disgusted( no one in india is even thinking of saying,”oh, but this happens in america too”). what is telling is that these women who are urban educated women preferred not to file a FIR–it is only public outrage that caused the FIR to be filed. if these urban women preferred to just walk away rather than relive this experience by pressing charges, what about the average woman? unless there is a sustained effort on the part of the public and media to condemn these instances and thereby bring the perpetrators to justice, how will things ever change? saying this happens in america also is doing a disservice to the common man/woman in india who is raising his voice against these things through the media in the hopes of seeing things change

  8. i think it is also not important to say whether this is an epidemic or not. even one such instance is one instance too many.

  9. It does happen in NYC on a regular basis it’s just that people have learned to deal with it. Why do you think when people enter into a subway car, we all automatically re-adjust ourselves in terms of position with other people? This is based upon sex, race, size of people, clothes, perceived level of crazyness, etc..

    Yes there are perverts in NYC trains but they aren’t as brazen or frequent as those in India and they do not function in mobs and go looking for trouble together. They generally act alone. And if a pervert groped me and I raised hell the chances of him getting thrown off the train and people coming to my defense is very strong in NYC. No one will condone his acts as “acceptable given the circumstance” and say that “I brought it on myself.” You cannot disregard this huge difference when you chose to make the comparison.

  10. Any form of dehumanization doesn’t make any sense to me. That’s why I don’t believe one form of dehumanization could mitigate another.

    Well, it might not make sense. but it doesnt mean that it couldn’t potentially mitigate the other behavior, depending how much that depends on sexual impulse.

  11. 199 · jackalI don’t think you’ve quite seen/experienced what often happens in public transit in much of India if you’re trying to compare it with people adjusting their places in the NYC subway. Rape, and less severe (but repulsive) acts of molestation such as these happen everywhere; that much is obvious to anyone here. However, as is evidenced by much of the discussion here, we recognize that there are some scenarios, issues and problems at hand peculiar to some/many parts of India (for example, the worship of the chaste woman ideal contrasted with incidents such as these). It’s why we’re discussing this here, and why it affects many of us (I’m male, but it does my relatives living in Indian cities).

    I think you’re really missing a substantial part of why men harass women in these situations and in particular what kind of group dynamic propels a crowd mentality to allow this kind of behavior to become acceptable in the moment. However that part of the discussion is tangential to the counter point to your assertion, I am making about this particular kind of sexual harassment occurring all over the world because it’s not tied to a country being developed or not.

    The primary cause is a much more basic underpinning in human behavior. If we choose to ignore this complex yet base power/control/entitlement/domination aspect of sexual harassment and rape, the root of the problem in any endeavor of education and socialization gets ignored.

    As for the comments on looking at it from this viewpoint is some kind of apologetic means of condoning the crowds behavior that has never been implied.

  12. 211 · Yes there are perverts in NYC trains but they aren’t as brazen or frequent as those in India and they do not function in mobs and go looking for trouble together. They generally act alone. And if a pervert groped me and I raised hell the chances of him getting thrown off the train and people coming to my defense is very strong in NYC. No one will condone his acts as “acceptable given the circumstance” and say that “I brought it on myself.” You cannot disregard this huge difference when you chose to make the comparison.

    Perhaps things are very different after 9/11, but as recent as 2000, this incident occurred in NYC’s Central park in broad daylight.

    I think you’re mixing two points.

    It can happen anywhere.

    And just because recognizing it can happen anywhere at any time does not mean anyone is condoning it.

  13. Perhaps things are very different after 9/11, but as recent as 2000, this incident occurred in NYC’s Central park in broad daylight.

    You are referring to the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Do you have any other incidents to point out? This happens with far more frequency and under less charged environment in India. I’m trying to understand how implying that because this happened at one point in NYC indicates that it happens everywhere? This incident outraged the city and there have been no such occurance since. There was the jogger who was gang raped and attacked by a mob back in the late 80s but not in broad daylight. The entire city was heartbroken over it and raised against it. Did not happen again. What is India and Indians doing to prevent this from happening as often as it does and with as much frequency as it does?

  14. lion – I don’t really disagree with you on those points. I just think it’s helpful to understand it in the Indian context, especially for some practical responses to this in the short term (the PR campaigns you mentioned do this).

    The only reason I embarked on this tangent was some people further up the comment thread, as SM Intern pointed out, made statements to the effec that “America is just as bad, if not worse” — with the seemingly clear intent to somehow minimize this event and say ‘look in your own backyard first’ (to those of us that live in the states, anyway).

    Bombay’s one thing (and one place where, perhaps, public anger, PR campaigns and the like may have some (small?) effect. I was struck when traveling through Rajasthan this winter and just not seeing women in public spaces at all (tourists excepted). My mind, of course, made a correlation between the oppressively male-dominated culture and its abysmally low literacy rates for women (among the lowest in India, I believe). Anyway, the point here is one long-term strategy against all this, in India’s case at least, is an aggressive female literacy campaign. In addition to being strongly correlated (with causal links) to most development indicators, it would do wonders for female empowerment in rural areas; which in many ways are the backbone of India’s cultures.

  15. Err, that is to say I don’t disagree with you on point 214. I do agree with Janeofalltrades’ assessment that it happens with much greater frequency in India. Apples and oranges, in that regard..

  16. i really dont get how this keeps harkign back to a discussion of india versus america. that is simply not the point. lets face it, any big city in the world is unsafe at certain times and certain neighbourhoods. this issue is that every such incident no matter where it occurs needs to be condemned with calls for the perpetrators to be brought to justice and for law enforcement to be held accountable.

    there are wonderful indian men and then there are criminal indian men, there are men who reach out and help women and then there are these criminals. so, generalizations dont help.

  17. Why bother expending actual brain cells when “PR Parade! NYC! America! Sucks!” can be bleated repeatedly? If any of you knows the newlyweds (they live in the U.S.), do console the bride by reminding her of the Puerto Rican day parade. I’m sure that will make her feel much better.

    NO one is saying India has a monopoly on this awful behavior. NO one is saying that America is perfect. It is disappointing that some insist on dwelling on these tangential distractions to an otherwise mature discussion. While a few of you search in vain for American counter-examples to soothe your wounded egos, woman after woman on this thread confirm and patiently detail WHY what might happen here is not the same as what occurs in India. You disregard and disrespect these women with your commitment to irrelevant commenting and your stone-hearted decision to not even consider that they, women who have actually been groped in Bombay, might be right.

    If we can’t put aside the glaring insecurity and excessive defensiveness which bursts forth like so much pus oozing from a boil every single time someone dares say anything less than glowing about our Motherland, we will not move forward. Thank goodness Indians who are actually IN India aren’t blind to her problems, and that such denial is often exclusive to NRIs.

  18. It completely explains, for example, why my parents are so paranoid about my taking taxis here in Canada, where such things are relatively unknown.

  19. 216 · Janeofalltrades You are referring to the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Do you have any other incidents to point out? This happens with far more frequency and under less charged environment in India. I’m trying to understand how implying that because this happened at one point in NYC indicates that it happens everywhere? This incident outraged the city and there have been no such occurance since. There was the jogger who was gang raped and attacked by a mob back in the late 80s but not in broad daylight. The entire city was heartbroken over it and raised against it. Did not happen again. What is India and Indians doing to prevent this from happening as often as it does and with as much frequency as it does?

    Yes, I used that reference because you said it can not happen in NYC. I’m quite confident group wilding attacks on women by men have happened in a majority of countries around the world, however don’t have time to research and provide examples. And for your information, doing a simple search on “NYC” and “gang-rape” reveals it has occurred there again, though not as visibly.

    However, perhaps my viewpoint is much more stronger on stressing it can happen anywhere at anytime because the idea of personal security is an illusion if you cease being aware of your surroundings.

    Still, not sure how much clearer I can be with this point. Sexual harassment or group wilding attacks have no relation in frequency or occurrence dependent upon if the country is developed or not.

    As for what is India doing to address this issue, in an early post I linked a television commercial on Eve-teasing as an example of societal response.

  20. : If we can’t put aside the glaring insecurity and excessive defensiveness which bursts forth like so much pus oozing from a boil every single time someone dares say anything less than glowing about our Motherland, we will not move forward. Thank goodness Indians who are actually IN India aren’t blind to her problems, and that such denial is often exclusive to NRIs.

    this was very well put. indians in india are outraged by this incident;no sensible person in india is drawing comparisions between india and america when discussing this(just read any of the major indian newspapers). indians in india want india to move forward and unless one raises one’s voices against the attitude where the police chief added insult to injury by being dismissive of this incident, things will not continue to move forward in our society.

  21.                www.takebackthenight.org
    

    I would encourage people to check this out –it is a march held in different countries throughout the world to protest against violence against women to sm intern: is it against commenting rules to post links like this, even if such links are pertinent to the discussion at hand? thnks

  22. 225 · tarta said

    o sm intern: is it against commenting rules to post links like this, even if such links are pertinent to the discussion at hand?

    No. Thank you for posting and asking.

  23. You are referring to the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Do you have any other incidents to point out? This happens with far more frequency and under less charged environment in India.

    Jane. Fine. Where is your analysis though? All I see coming from messages like this is… India sucks america is great, land of the free home of the brave.

    But I assume you have males in your family at some level. Do they go out for daily molest and grope sessions? How did they turn out great but these other guys didn’t? I haven’t read all your previous messages, so my bad if I overlooked something. But I see no analysis.

  24. While a few of you search in vain for American counter-examples to soothe your wounded egos, woman after woman on this thread confirm and patiently detail WHY what might happen here is not the same as what occurs in India. You disregard and disrespect these women with your commitment to irrelevant commenting and your stone-hearted decision to not even consider that they, women who have actually been groped in Bombay, might be right.

    WORD.

  25. What is India and Indians doing to prevent this from happening as often as it does and with as much frequency as it does?

    Quite possibly nothing but make excuses like this happened in NYC, Cairo etc etc.

    Yes we get it, it is hard to be a woman in an any culture but don’t minimize what women have to put up with on a daily basis in India, even in the so-called modern cities like Bombay and Bangalore.

    Yes it can happen anywhere, but this incident occurred in Bombay and so let us discuss that and not get sidetracked.

  26. to yogi: to be fair to indians in india, you will not find even a single person saying that this happens in NYC, cairo etc. these types of comments on this blog are not representative of the indian reaction.

    in terms of preventing and addressing this issue, we would have to launch a whole new discussion–about law enforcement, corruption amongst the police, how people in high places can commit these types of crimes with impunity–i can go on.

    there are many people who have commented on whether you can prevent someone from turning a criminal (with thoughts like legalizing prostitution etc being bandied about)–i would say that the criminal mind will always exist(unfortunately) —– more effective and honest law enforcement is needed.

  27. and my mommy told me that Bangalore was safer than the rest of India…

    yikes! but i agree with you. with the room shortage, service apts are mushrooming around the city and a lot of them are very dodgy. i am a guy but i’ve got creeped out a couple of times in past visits. the doors dont have a dead bolt. one cant even leave the key in the lock because it sort of needs to be stuck into this electric unit to complete the circuit and have power come on in the room. so anyone can open the door at night from the outside. plus where i was stayin at, there were some seedy arab dudes and one time they had a hooker come in.
    on the flip side, there are some family run places which seemed better. one thread through this is that the innkeepers who named it after themselves or their kids and stayed on the premises were the better places. but imagine this lady coming to b’lore, not knowing anyone and landing in this whitefields area. i’m so sorry.
    p.s. i’ve had strange experiences with the ‘official’ cabs at indian airports as well. this one guy i got was drunk. ran out of gas. took me into some out of the way place to fill up. then he fell asleep on the rooad. i didnt find out until he started driving on the other side of the road. i kept yelling at him until he got me home. but again. this isnt unique. i was once in a midwestern city where i got a legally blind cabdriver in a snow storm. i had to sit in the front and guide him verbally and make handsignals out of my window while he drove his broken steed 30mph in the faast lane on a highway.

  28. to yogi:

    to be fair to indians in india, you will not find even a single person saying that this happens in NYC, cairo etc. these types of comments on this blog are not representative of the indian reaction.

    I should have been clearer, I was addressing the comments made in this thread not the reaction of all Indians.

  29. does anyone know how the police were brought in to end this particular situation? I remember being groped on a minibus in north india where the creep literally kissed me on the side of the neck. After I twisted his balls and cursed him out with every bit of punjabi profanity I know he slunk of the bus. the thing that shocked me most was that everybody including women sat and watched the whole scenario play out in total silence. not one person lifted a finger or said a word to help. This is just one of numerous incidents that I dealt with a 3 years studying dance in India. I was wearing salwar-kameez-chunni and speaking hindi. I love India and our culture but this is something about contemporary indian life that cant just be eplained away with ‘it happens everywhere’. It really doesnt.

  30. yes, some of the little daily harassments are sick; what is even worse is also how we women even get used to it. for example, when I was in college, one of my friends who lived in the hostel would take the state transport bus to make her 4 hour bus ride home. she always equipped herself with safety pins for men would try to touch her by reaching around the seat and she would just jab them forcefully with the safety pin repeatedly –the guy had to take the pain in silence because if he screamed he would just draw attention to himself and his acts. my friend and i just considered this one of the hassles of daily life and just laughed at her clever tactic to deal with it. now, looking bad it strikes me how terrible it is that we were just used to it.

  31. i was once in a midwestern city where i got a legally blind cabdriver in a snow storm. i had to sit in the front and guide him verbally and make handsignals out of my window while he drove his broken steed 30mph in the faast lane on a highway.

    Are serious or just trying to be funny?
    Is it legal to employ a blind driver in one’s cab business?

    I’ve been thinking for the past two years what I can do when I return to India to bring some sort of awareness of this issue (sexual harrassment) to my area as well as put a stop to it in my own life. I think inviting the Blank Noise Project girls to my town for speaking engagements at the local schools is a good idea.

    Where I live about half the population is foreigners, residents and pilgrims both, so the eve teasing, sexual harrassment is common for both the local Indian girls and women as well as the international ones. I think we can really get something big going there and it can easily get international recognition. But then again, someone wanted to make a documentary about the the Vrindavan widows and some locals protested that and I’m not certain whether or not the film ever got made. Even someone wanted to plant more trees there and that was somehow stopped too by officials who said it was a “conspiracy by foreigners”.

    Come to think of it, when I take all this into consideration, I may not be able to do anything of value in this regard. Depressing really. And it is a daily problem for us there in UP. It makes going on a religious pilgrimage, which is an essential part of our theology, very sad and scary.

  32. does anyone know how the police were brought in to end this particular situation? I remember being groped on a minibus in north india where the creep literally kissed me on the side of the neck. After I twisted his balls and cursed him out with every bit of punjabi profanity I know he slunk of the bus. the thing that shocked me most was that everybody including women sat and watched the whole scenario play out in total silence. not one person lifted a finger or said a word to help. This is just one of numerous incidents that I dealt with a 3 years studying dance in India. I was wearing salwar-kameez-chunni and speaking hindi. I love India and our culture but this is something about contemporary indian life that cant just be eplained away with ‘it happens everywhere’. It really doesnt.

    Payal. Once on a bus in Goa, standing room only, I was standing and holding onto the ceiling rings for balance. A hand gliding over and squeezed my butt. I turned around at slapped the man in the face as hard as I could and started screaming obscenities at him. He was in his 70’s, standing up with the help of a cane. As in your case most people just sat in silence, looked a bit shocked at my behaviour, and the young women on the bus coyly giggled in childlike ways. Can anyone explain why this (non) reaction.

    I’m really glad that women are writing about their experiences on this blog. I think the more we talk about these things, the less fuel men who want to downplay or phoo phoo our experiences, will have for their fire.

    It’s very real.

  33. I still don’t see friends who are girls riding the bus/train in the US/Europe on a daily basis worry/think about the casual groping/rubbing that’s pervasive especially in Delhi. It happens elsewhere, sure, but it’s a question of order of magnitude. If you’re arguing this happens on the same wide scale and daily basis as in the US or France, that’s quite simply ludicrous. Talk to my cousins in India and talk to others that live in nyc; it just doesn’t compare.
    I can vouch for some of that. I’ve been on busy subways in several cities in Europe, including but not limited to Amsterdam, Paris, London, Berlin, Vienna, Rome. Furthermore I’ve been up and about at ungodly hours in several of these cities. Never been harassed or groped. I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen. Maybe my experience is even exceptional. But there’s no denying that the scale and the systematicness is much larger in a country where a woman garners no respect.
    Yes, I agree…no one is denying sexual assaults don’t happen in the US or other Western countries. When I walk from the metro late at night, considering the neighborhood I’m in, I try and rush home quickly (i live in DC) and robbery or sex assault is of course a fear as in any city.
    But the sexual badgering and patriarchy and role of women as slut or virgin, is part and parcel of many of India’s institutions including the local police and much more entrenched in what is tolerated or appropriate for men to act. I can get on a crowded metro in DC during rush in DC and expect NOT to be sexually harrassed and anyone that does that can expect imo very few people on the metro to agree with their lewd, and likely illegal acts.
    If I get on a bus in Kerala (and I’m not allowed to get on the buses in Kerala), I can EXPECT to be sexually harassed according to my Kerala family members. More work needs to be done in Indian society on that fact that degrading women is not acceptable and what a women’s rights are.

    Yep. Yep. Yep. All correct.

    The persons saying the same type of thing happens “everywhere” have not been everywhere. And of course on this particular blog/thread, the ones making that assertion are male. Let them ride the public transport of India, as a woman, for one year, then move to oh, Finland, Sweden, Prague, Los Angeles, Paris, Effland North Carolina, and then talk.

  34. Let them ride the public transport of India, as a woman, for one year, then move to oh, Finland, Sweden, Prague, Los Angeles, Paris, Effland North Carolina, and then talk.

    Pardesi Gori, haven’t you been to all these places? Do tell us how it is to ride the bus in Reykjavik too! Or do you do that only on blogs related to Icelandic diaspora?

  35. once I was standing on a bus, and a girl tried to slip a ring on my finger, and then ask me if the blue napkins match the tablecloth or the tiehl ones do, then she started to whisper near by me “does this dress make me look fa-” it was horrible, other guys were there to save me from this comittment grope.

  36. Pardesi Gori, haven’t you been to all these places? Do tell us how it is to ride the bus in Reykjavik too! Or do you do that only on blogs related to Icelandic diaspora?

    Yaar, I was in the Reykjavik airport – only!

  37. Yaar, I was in the Reykjavik airport – only!

    Has anybody ever tried pushing you off the coast of Nunavut on an ice floe? Please educate us about how you communed with the seals there in their timeless language of melodic yowls.

  38. ANNA, as you said about the womens’ husbands, I can’t even imagine their horror.

    I’m wondering what happened to them. Did the mob harrass them or beat them up?

    I’m wondering what prevented them picking up their wives and running into a store or something to escape the crowd. Surely they must’ve grabbed onto their wives when they saw that men were starting to surround them. So how did they get separated? Did either of the husbands punch any guys out?

    What happened?

  39. What happened?

    Weren’t you there too? Or at least can’t you draw from your experiences when you and your husband/boyfriend/friend with benefits/dwarf pleasure companion/Krishna doll were in a similar mob situation?

  40. Did either of the husbands punch any guys out?

    No, when the male mob approached, the husbands couldn’t help themselves, like werewolves when they see a full moon. the sight of a pinless woman to molest was too strong to resist.

  41. Please educate us about how you communed with the seals there in their timeless language of melodic yowls.

    That’s an urban myth. Dolphins are actually shape shifting reptiles, descendents of the thetan Xenu, planted on Earth to subvert the progress of humanity at large. Suppressives of the highest order. Psychiatrists who administer drugs like Paxil to depressed persons such as women suffering from PPD, are part of the agenda. That is why they want you to believe that dolphins are highly sensitive animals with a melodic language.

  42. the sight of a pinless woman to molest was too strong to resist.

    HMF: tarta’s experience sadly reflects the responses some of my aunts and cousins had to take so they could feel more comfortable about traveling in public transport in India.

  43. That’s an urban myth.

    If anything, it’s quite rural. And I said nothing about dolphins, seals are quite a different species, although your experiences from your time as a seal, and as a dolphin, might be otherwise.

  44. If I get on a bus in Kerala (and I’m not allowed to get on the buses in Kerala), I can EXPECT to be sexually harassed according to my Kerala family members.

    yes – i can confirm that this is true. the slang for this was ‘jacky’ – i think it derives from the word – to jack up. In Madras it used to be called ‘uzhaippu’. please correct if this is not right or if the language has moved on.

Drunk Women in Juhu: “What were they expecting?”

shame on them.jpg Soon after New Year’s Eve, we began receiving tips about a dreadful incident in Bombay involving two young couples who were on vacation:

A mob of 70-80 men groped and molested two young women for some 15 minutes on a busy main street in Mumbai’s glamour district Juhu early on New Year’s Day.
An identical incident had shamed India’s safest city exactly a year ago — a girl was molested by New Year’s eve revellers at the Gateway of India. That incident was captured on film by a popular Mumbai tabloid; Tuesday morning’s horror was shot by two Hindustan Times lensmen who happened to be on the spot.
The women — one in a black dress, the other in a jeans and top — emerged from the JW Marriott with two male friends around 1.45 am, and began walking towards Juhu beach close by.
A mob of about 40 got after them and began teasing the women. One of the women swore loudly at the hooligans.
But the mob, now 70-80 strong, wouldn’t let go. They trapped the women near a vehicle and a tree, and pounced on them. A man in a white shirt tore off the black dress. Another, in a blue shirt, led the assault. As the women fell on the ground, dozens of men jumped on them. [HT]

The story and the wide-spread, collective anger it inspired grew considerably when the Police Inspector tasked with the case expressed himself in a regrettably insensitive way:

The comments of the Mumbai police commissioner, DN Jadhav further enraged the people: “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Keep your wives at home if you want them safe. This kind of small things can happen anywhere”. [meri]

Excellent. Two women who were brutalized deserved it because they were out and about, instead of in the kitchen. While a few Mumbaikars agreed with that unfortunate view, others certainly did not:

Arjun Ghai, executive with an MNC says, “The act was shameful but the attitude of the police in this regard is even worse. If MF Hussain puts up his paintings or a Hollywood star kisses a Bollywood actress, the Shiv Sainiks come to life, but what about such cases? It is the people of our great nation who need to be blamed. I am sure those who were involved in this gruesome act had sisters and wives sitting at home. Did they think about them even for an instance? No wonder we are living among vultures ready to pounce on the flesh of vulnerable women at the drop of a hat.”
Mira Sud, boutique owner opines, “I heard someone say that the girls might have been drunk or led the guys on. This is absolutely crazy. In a nation like ours where we worship Sita and Laxmi, people tend to lose their moral sense at times. Claiming that a woman might have been drunk is no reason or excuse. What about those instances where the men get drunk and pounce on women? Nobody blames them. In this male-dominated society of ours, we tend to blame the female gender without even considering the situation.”[meri]

Thankfully, someone contradicted Jadhav:

The state’s Deputy Chief Minister R R Patil made a statement saying, that the police chief’s reaction was inappropriate and that the government was taking the matter seriously. [NDTV]

As I alluded to earlier, some of the more retrograde opinions (which I didn’t care to publicize or quote) declared that these women were “asking for it” by behaving shamelessly and not respecting traditions which apparently involve always staying at home, lest one entice a helpless man to molestation. Well, these weren’t disobedient, frisky, fornicating teens on the beach (not that they’d deserve any of this either).

The newly-wed, NRI couple who faced humiliation at the hands of a mob in Juhu on New Year’s eve, had married in a traditional ceremony in Gujarat just a day before the incident
Hiten Patel and his wife had come down to Mumbai along with Hiten’s cousin and his wife a day after their wedding to bring in the New Year. The couple wanted to holiday in India for a fortnight before flying back home.
Hundreds of their friends and relatives from the US had flown down to India for the wedding. Hiten’s uncle Sunil Patel told TOI, “Hiten was born in the US and has lived in Texas. He runs his family-owned chain of motels. His wife is pursuing her MBA in the US and theirs was an arranged match.”
The couple is still in a state of shock following the molestation. Hiten’s wife has said she’s trying to “get over the horror” while expressing her anger over the fact that bystanders had not come to their rescue. But when Hiten spoke to TOI, he said there were some people in the crowd who tried to “help us pick up our belongings. I have not lodged a police complaint since I do not want the wrong people to be booked.” [TOIlet]

Do some of these the so-called traditionalists feel a little sorry for condemning these women, now that we know they were so obedient and homely, one of them allowed her parents to choose her husband? Sorry, what’s that? All I hear is crickets chirping. Now it is two weeks later, and the alleged culprits are denying involvement:

The Juhu molestation case accused on Wednesday said that they were innocent. Addressing the media, the accused who are out on bail, said that they were merely onlookers who were pushed by a crowd on the New Year’s Eve, and the photographers clicked the wrong persons.
The men, in a belligerent outburst, accused the media of jumping too fast to their own conclusions. One of them said that he was not even there at the spot when the incident occurred.
“We were returning from dinner and saw a crowd of 150 surrounding two couples. We became curious and got thrown into the scene. The photographers just clicked our pictures and the police took us for interrogation,” the accused said. [Zee]

But wait! There’s MORE. These men don’t know when to shut up, but that flaw gave me my title for this post, so a microscopic thank you to these perverts for that:

The men didn’t stop at that clarification. They said that while the newspapers splashed ‘molestation’ pictures, they did not write a word about how the girls in question were drunk.
“The couples were in an inebriated state. They were smooching on the road. What were they expecting?”, they said. [Zee]

(more…)

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