Quick, when was the last time I wrote a blog entry on the topic of high fashion for SM? Do some of you view me as a mere niche blogger who only writes about Antarctic exploration or freaky kids? These days, bloggers must remain sufficiently versatile so as to compete in a cut-throat business, one where the profit margins are razor thin and the trolls are out with knifes. And so I bring you news of designer Marc Jacobs’ spring/summer 2008 line (thanks for the tip “Meenbeen”):

Marc Jacobs can do anything he wants now. He’s even feeling confident enough to open up about a troubled private life that he once kept very private. And one expression of that confident spirit is the injection of willfulness he’s given to his collections. It’s a definite boon to the menswear in his second line, which can occasionally seem a little too close to the contents of College Boy’s closet. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but Jacobs has proved himself a virtuoso at distilling the talents of his various collaborators, and he has some keen ones at M. by M. We could rightly expect a little more. With this latest effort, we got it.

The menswear took the mixed-up, mumbled-up, shook-up world that Marc presented for his signature Spring collection and toned it down to one key discombobulation: asymmetry. [Link]

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The above review was written during 2007’s Fashion Week in NYC. Since the majority of the clothes-buying-public didn’t attend Fashion Week, they will mostly base their opinion of his men’s clothing line on print ads seen in prominent men’s magazines, and based on the reviews of prominent fashion bloggers like myself. Some of you may recognize one of the models he has chosen to show off his new men’s line: the musician M.I.A. Below each photograph I will comment on the effectiveness of these ads from the perspective of a male with a disposable income.

In the above picture M.I.A. poses like that one potential child molester uncle in the family who the relatives all shield their kids from. Her clammy skin and disheveled hair seem to scream, “what!?” and I imagine that in the next frame (had it been published) her head and chest would have been lurching forward as she said just that into the camera. This look would suit a stockbroker or I-banker, the kind who will never be the best in his field, but has some cocaine to party with after work…so its all good. And those hands. Greedy, clutching, talon-like hands that will find a way to collect what’s coming to them. All things eventually find their way into those hands so you may as well just “give it up” without a struggle. Belt not needed for a look like this (in case you were wondering). The man wearing those pants shouldn’t have to be bothered with a belt anyways. Those pants need to be easy to pull down and easy to put on in a hurry when he needs to sneak out. And he sneaks out often. The tie? The subliminal message being sent by this ad is that even if you think the tie is ugly, you can still use it for something else. Like to tie something in place. Utilitarian clothing is in for 2008. [As a side note, this is the most attractive I’ve ever seen M.I.A. look, and I’ve seen her up close. I kept looking to see if there was a wire leading from one of those red sockets at the bottom left of the photograph, into her, to make her so electric].

What I like most about this shot is that with those juicy puckered lips and cocksure tilt of the head, M.I.A. captures the attitude you’d have to exhibit if you (a male) wore this outfit while grocery shopping on a Sunday, just as neighborhood churches were letting out. The jaws of young mothers navigating the produce section would drop open and they wouldn’t know whether to cover their children’s eyes or their own, as you gently squeezed the Roma tomatoes (needed for your vegetarian sandwich) to ensure proper ripeness. As you moved on to the frozen food aisle the goosebumps on your legs would stand at attention. You’d probably have to rub your hands together real fast and then touch your legs to warm them up, the way Pat Morita did to Daniel-san in The Karate Kid. By that time this one PTA mother, who seems to always be lurking at this grocery store, would have alerted the store’s rent-a-cop about your “provocative clothing.” Lucky for you the rent-a-cop is a woman who appreciates a man with good fashion sense. To placate “PTA mom” she offers to take you in the back to check your drivers license…or whatever. She gets off work in ten minutes anyways and is both a vegetarian and hungry. Marc Jacobs is on to something. I’m always looking for the perfect grocery shopping outfit.

This photograph, from as best as I can tell, is part of the same ad campaign. At first I didn’t understand because I don’t see any men’s clothing in this entire ad. And then, finally, I grasped the genius that is Marc Jacobs’. In this photograph M.I.A. is posing as a men’s “accessory.” If I dressed up in either of the two outfits featured about above, I would need a beautiful woman like this hanging off my arm, left nipple peaking out with confidence, daring someone to make a comment so she can slap them upside the head with that gold hand bag as she says, “and who gave you permission to look?” I would chime in with a “yeah punk. Don’t be looking at my girl’s chest.” I also like the fact that photographer Juergen Teller was able to capture M.I.A. in a shot where it looks like she has a “man arm” (as opposed to man hands). I’ve always appreciated women with strong muscular arms who’d be able to kick the ass of any other women that might be vying for my much sought after attention. And believe me, in a Marc Jacobs outfit, many women would be vying for my attention.

Finally, there is this shot above. Anna insisted I include this because unlike me, she didn’t find the Marc Jacobs ad campaign very effective…except for this lone picture which she found redeeming. I’m not sure. I hate to disagree with Anna (whose fashion credentials are legendary) in a public forum but I think that any fashion ad should really highlight either clothes or accessories. It is possible that if we were able to pan down M.I.A. might be wearing some tighty-whitey underwear that I would find appealing. This shot however, features only one mustard colored shirt and a magnifying glass. As a man, I don’t find a magnifying glass a very useful accessory (and I surely don’t want a magnified image of the inside of her mouth). Underwear is a must though, and so I wish we saw at least one ad featuring M.I.A. in the type of tighty-whiteys I’d consider wearing around the apartment after work.

In any case, I hope you enjoyed my fashion review. Since I am not known for my fashion reviews on this website, this is the last one you will probably see for a while.