Prêt-à-Porter for Boyz

Quick, when was the last time I wrote a blog entry on the topic of high fashion for SM? Do some of you view me as a mere niche blogger who only writes about Antarctic exploration or freaky kids? These days, bloggers must remain sufficiently versatile so as to compete in a cut-throat business, one where the profit margins are razor thin and the trolls are out with knifes. And so I bring you news of designer Marc Jacobs’ spring/summer 2008 line (thanks for the tip “Meenbeen”):

Marc Jacobs can do anything he wants now. He’s even feeling confident enough to open up about a troubled private life that he once kept very private. And one expression of that confident spirit is the injection of willfulness he’s given to his collections. It’s a definite boon to the menswear in his second line, which can occasionally seem a little too close to the contents of College Boy’s closet. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but Jacobs has proved himself a virtuoso at distilling the talents of his various collaborators, and he has some keen ones at M. by M. We could rightly expect a little more. With this latest effort, we got it.

The menswear took the mixed-up, mumbled-up, shook-up world that Marc presented for his signature Spring collection and toned it down to one key discombobulation: asymmetry. [Link]

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The above review was written during 2007’s Fashion Week in NYC. Since the majority of the clothes-buying-public didn’t attend Fashion Week, they will mostly base their opinion of his men’s clothing line on print ads seen in prominent men’s magazines, and based on the reviews of prominent fashion bloggers like myself. Some of you may recognize one of the models he has chosen to show off his new men’s line: the musician M.I.A. Below each photograph I will comment on the effectiveness of these ads from the perspective of a male with a disposable income.

In the above picture M.I.A. poses like that one potential child molester uncle in the family who the relatives all shield their kids from. Her clammy skin and disheveled hair seem to scream, “what!?” and I imagine that in the next frame (had it been published) her head and chest would have been lurching forward as she said just that into the camera. This look would suit a stockbroker or I-banker, the kind who will never be the best in his field, but has some cocaine to party with after work…so its all good. And those hands. Greedy, clutching, talon-like hands that will find a way to collect what’s coming to them. All things eventually find their way into those hands so you may as well just “give it up” without a struggle. Belt not needed for a look like this (in case you were wondering). The man wearing those pants shouldn’t have to be bothered with a belt anyways. Those pants need to be easy to pull down and easy to put on in a hurry when he needs to sneak out. And he sneaks out often. The tie? The subliminal message being sent by this ad is that even if you think the tie is ugly, you can still use it for something else. Like to tie something in place. Utilitarian clothing is in for 2008. [As a side note, this is the most attractive I’ve ever seen M.I.A. look, and I’ve seen her up close. I kept looking to see if there was a wire leading from one of those red sockets at the bottom left of the photograph, into her, to make her so electric].

What I like most about this shot is that with those juicy puckered lips and cocksure tilt of the head, M.I.A. captures the attitude you’d have to exhibit if you (a male) wore this outfit while grocery shopping on a Sunday, just as neighborhood churches were letting out. The jaws of young mothers navigating the produce section would drop open and they wouldn’t know whether to cover their children’s eyes or their own, as you gently squeezed the Roma tomatoes (needed for your vegetarian sandwich) to ensure proper ripeness. As you moved on to the frozen food aisle the goosebumps on your legs would stand at attention. You’d probably have to rub your hands together real fast and then touch your legs to warm them up, the way Pat Morita did to Daniel-san in The Karate Kid. By that time this one PTA mother, who seems to always be lurking at this grocery store, would have alerted the store’s rent-a-cop about your “provocative clothing.” Lucky for you the rent-a-cop is a woman who appreciates a man with good fashion sense. To placate “PTA mom” she offers to take you in the back to check your drivers license…or whatever. She gets off work in ten minutes anyways and is both a vegetarian and hungry. Marc Jacobs is on to something. I’m always looking for the perfect grocery shopping outfit.

This photograph, from as best as I can tell, is part of the same ad campaign. At first I didn’t understand because I don’t see any men’s clothing in this entire ad. And then, finally, I grasped the genius that is Marc Jacobs’. In this photograph M.I.A. is posing as a men’s “accessory.” If I dressed up in either of the two outfits featured about above, I would need a beautiful woman like this hanging off my arm, left nipple peaking out with confidence, daring someone to make a comment so she can slap them upside the head with that gold hand bag as she says, “and who gave you permission to look?” I would chime in with a “yeah punk. Don’t be looking at my girl’s chest.” I also like the fact that photographer Juergen Teller was able to capture M.I.A. in a shot where it looks like she has a “man arm” (as opposed to man hands). I’ve always appreciated women with strong muscular arms who’d be able to kick the ass of any other women that might be vying for my much sought after attention. And believe me, in a Marc Jacobs outfit, many women would be vying for my attention.

Finally, there is this shot above. Anna insisted I include this because unlike me, she didn’t find the Marc Jacobs ad campaign very effective…except for this lone picture which she found redeeming. I’m not sure. I hate to disagree with Anna (whose fashion credentials are legendary) in a public forum but I think that any fashion ad should really highlight either clothes or accessories. It is possible that if we were able to pan down M.I.A. might be wearing some tighty-whitey underwear that I would find appealing. This shot however, features only one mustard colored shirt and a magnifying glass. As a man, I don’t find a magnifying glass a very useful accessory (and I surely don’t want a magnified image of the inside of her mouth). Underwear is a must though, and so I wish we saw at least one ad featuring M.I.A. in the type of tighty-whiteys I’d consider wearing around the apartment after work.

In any case, I hope you enjoyed my fashion review. Since I am not known for my fashion reviews on this website, this is the last one you will probably see for a while.

55 thoughts on “Prêt-à-Porter for Boyz

  1. hate to disagree with Anna (whose fashion credentials are legendary) … In any case, I hope you enjoyed my fashion review. Since I am not known for my fashion reviews on this website, this is the last one you will probably see for a while.

    Is this a quid pro quo for good old Ed?

    In the above picture M.I.A. poses like that one potential child molester uncle in the family who the relatives all shield their kids from.

    Damn, Anand Jon would’ve made the perfect model for this one! Poor guy peaked too early.

  2. Hilarious and excellent review!

    Cathy Horyn’s got nothing on you — although she would probably spell “men’s” with that required apostrophe 😉

  3. although she would probably spell “men’s” with that required apostrophe 😉

    Fixed. As in many cases an expert in one field is dreadful in another 🙂

  4. To placate “PTA mom” she offers to take you in the back to check your drivers license…or whatever.

    Innuendo overload.

    Marc Jacobs is on to something. I’m always looking for the perfect grocery shopping outfit…. I would chime in with a “yeah punk. Don’t be looking at my girl’s chest.”

    You sure that Jacobs wasn’t looking for some melons to contrast the grocery shopping outfit?

  5. This model/singer is seriously unattractive. A good candidate for ANTM, America’s Next Top Model. Still waiting for a naturally “pretty” girl to show up on that sitcom.

  6. Abhi, I think you the post is missing the first photo you comment on. I think I know which one you’re talking about, because I’ve seen the ads: she’s wearing a disheveled suit and pulling the tie off to the side? I got really confused when I thought you were considering cross dressing to go to the grocery store… until I read the next paragraph and realized the comments apply to the photo above. Maybe it’s just my browser… SM Intern, feel free to delete this post if I’m the only one who is having this problem 🙂

  7. Abhi, I think you the post is missing the first photo you comment on. I think I know which one you’re talking about, because I’ve seen the ads: she’s wearing a disheveled suit and pulling the tie off to the side?

    That’s the one. I tried viewing it on three different computers and it shows up just fine. Try closing and re-launching your browser.

  8. mia is representing all of marc by marc jacobs clothing for spring/summer 2008 — both men’s and women’s — fyi. (his signature line, marc jacobs collection, is being modeled by victoria beckham for s/s 08)

  9. singers/actresses/celebutantes should not be modeling… i can’t be the only one who thinks this, right?

  10. Anna insisted I include this because unlike me, she didn’t find the Marc Jacobs ad campaign very effective…except for this lone picture which she found redeeming.

    No need to doubt me, Abhi. 🙂 Unlike your thorough research, I blazed through the tip and only saw the first and last pictures…and pleaded with you to include the oral-sex final photo because I HATE the top one, which you aptly interpreted as Chester Molester-esque. I like the middle two. And this post. Especially your interpretation of man-arm/nip-slip as accessory. Brilliant, really.

  11. its also now a given that i’m buying a brown tie

    forget identity ish about seeing brown people in ads…the real bonus is you get to see how stuff looks with brown skin

  12. 18 · lion said

    Eh. These photographs and clothes appear circa early 1980s.

    dude, have you seen pop culture lately? the only thing stopping me from believing im in some sort of time warp is the lack of side-ponytails

  13. left nipple peAking out with confidence

    Is it peEking out of a Freudian slip, or was she just happy to see you?

  14. 20. Rahul said Is it peEking out of a Freudian slip, or was she just happy to see you?
    You’re cold, Rahul.

    Why the pique, Harbeer?

  15. MIA is getting getting really tired as a Sepia Mutiny feature. Seriously, why not give some space to other desi artists for a change?

  16. I just love a woman in a suit. Abhi, thanks for the fine sartorial commentary, now let’s see your glamour shots.

    p.s. Am I the only one lusting for that lapis lazuli necklace?

  17. MIA is getting getting really tired as a Sepia Mutiny feature. Seriously, why not give some space to other desi artists for a change?

    If you have a similar story, send it in (like this reader did) or put it on the news tab instead of complaining.

    Besides, a Marc Jacobs campaign IS a big deal.

  18. Why don’t you do a comparision of how many features on Sepia Mutiny there has been between MIA on one side and all other desi artists on the other? There have been plenty of news articles in the news tab on other artists, yet no features on them, only this continuous monthly (or so it seems) special focus on MIA. I think other desi artists deserve exposure too. Strange as it may sound, when it it comes do desi music/artists, there are bigger things than what MIA wears.

  19. Sam, which artists did you have in mind? MIA attracts attention for many reasons, but posting is inevitably going to vary with the bloggers’ interests. Maybe you should consider starting a blog that features different desi artists? It would be a cool and cross-genre niche.

  20. p.s. Am I the only one lusting for that lapis lazuli necklace?

    Yeah, I am too. When I saw it I thought “ooooh!” even though it’s something I’d never think of wearing.

    Coincidentally, my left nipple peeks out of my outfits too. Maybe it’s a desi South Asian thing… 😉

  21. There have been plenty of news articles in the news tab on other artists, yet no features on them,

    This is not a newspaper. We don’t do “features”. We write posts when we can (we have day jobs), about what we can, if we have an interesting take. You can’t force inspiration.

    The whole point of the news tab was to let stories get the exposure we didn’t have the time to give them. If you’re concerned about artists not getting coverage, why not start your own blog? It’s free and more constructive than sarcasm.

    If you have further issues, email us instead of derailing the thread. Back on topic, please.

  22. Yeah, I am too. When I saw it I thought “ooooh!” even though it’s something I’d never think of wearing.

    I like the colors, but it’s a little too chunky for my taste! I actually really want to know what that dress looks like; it MIGHT be cute, but I can’t tell because that big fugly bag is blocking it.

    Or I could just let Camille run things. 😉

    Sorry, I’m not trying to do the intern’s job 🙂 Just trying to keep things productive.

  23. M.I.A is one lucky bird. Being dressed by Marc Jacobs. From singing to catwalking. I prefer her in the the 2nd pic, so cool.

  24. Sorry, I’m not trying to do the intern’s job 🙂 Just trying to keep things productive.

    Not at all. I would be grateful for you to. 😉 Thanks for being so proactive about keeping things productive!

  25. Not at all. I would be grateful for you to. 😉 … we need all the help we can get.

    Camille, no consorting with interns until you actually run for office!

  26. I have to admit she looks nice in ‘normal clothes ‘ in these pics when compared to the wacky getups she ususally has on stage.I like the blue dress too and i actually thought the oversize clutch was quite nice.. lol

    But i read about the nipple comment and i swear how did anyone notice that cos i had to look, really look! maybe i was oohing the necklace too much too.

  27. I just love a woman in a suit.

    bess, power lunch? shall i have my intern call your intern?

  28. 19 · fashion smashion said

    18 · lion said
    Eh. These photographs and clothes appear circa early 1980s.
    dude, have you seen pop culture lately? the only thing stopping me from believing im in some sort of time warp is the lack of side-ponytails

    Pop-culture, nope last time I saw that around here it was 1999 and people were wearing a lot of purple.

  29. You’re cold, Rahul.
    Coincidentally, my left nipple peeks out of my outfits too. Maybe it’s a desi South Asian thing… 😉

    Is it getting nipply, I mean, nippy in here?

    I like the colors, but it’s a little too chunky for my taste!

    Camille, it’s not really meant for teenagers ; )

    Especially a pre-code suit!

    The Rahuligan strikes again! Marlene is sexy even in a gorilla suit. Gare au gorille!

    bess, power lunch? shall i have my intern call your intern?

    Honey, I’ve got you pencilled in. Bring the intern too.

  30. Camille, no consorting with interns until you actually run for office!

    Thanks, Rahul, but unfortunately I come up short in the cougar dept because…

    Camille, it’s not really meant for teenagers ; )

    I’m underage 😉 How old would an intern have to be? 10? (ew!)

  31. How ’bout some bizarre and raunchy photos of y’all bloggers? It would be cool to have an SM/SM calendar.

    It would be cooler to have a BDSM/SM calendar.

  32. 46 · Fuerza Dulce said

    It would be cooler to have a BDSM/SM calendar.

    And here I thought all this talk of tops and bottoms was about fashion…

  33. Looking at these bizarre outfits I take satisfaction that 1. My girlfriend wears much better clothes. 2. My girlfriend is much hotter looking.
    MIA – Majorly Inept And Sartorially challenged.

  34. And here I thought all this talk of tops and bottoms was about fashion…

    Some people are tops and bottoms because of fashion…