Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Chappals

I’m waiting in line at the “secret” coffee place I mentioned in a post once, on the phone with one of my closest friends.

“How are you? How’s the ankle?”, he asks.

“Blue and mediocre.”

“Wait, WHAT?”

“Well, I’m wearing a blue dress and it still hurts. Actually, I officially sound like an Ammachi/Naniji now, because my hip hurts constantly. Apparently, three months of limping will do that to you!”

“Smartypants, here I was worried you were ‘blue’ as in sad.”

“Tiny bit. Always am around the holidays.”

“Are you going home for Thanksgiving?”

“No. Mom’s traveling, no one’s there.”

“What timing for a trip!”

“Well…we never really celebrated the holiday. My parents had that typical snarky comeback, you know, ‘only Americans would need a special day to be thankful for everything. Hmmph! We’re thankful daily!’…like that. So it was just a regular day at our house…with slightly different TV programs.”

“So you have not had this…tofurkey you sent me, on Facebook?”

“No. I don’t eat tofu.”

“You sound sad.”

“I guess I am, a little bit. Everyone’s rushing off with a suitcase and while I don’t really want to travel THIS week, it reminds me that they’re going to be with their family, and that does make me miss home. This is my first Thanksgiving when I’m not going anywhere. It’s a little depressing.”

“Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.”

280 thoughts on “Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Chappals

  1. Now you’re being pedantic. I think you knew the underlying gist of my statement.

    🙂 Yes, I did. I wasn’t so much contradicting you, as adding more information/refining. 🙂

  2. A hearty thanks to HMF for keeping it real. Happy Bloody Thanksgiving.

    The US is a new country, so its mythology is more open to historical reappraisal. Its interesting the kind of tensions that creates. Michelle Malkin had a post some time ago about the war against Thanksgiving.

    Who knows what the true story behind holi or diwali is.

  3. Whoa whoa whoa. Michelle Malkin is no authority on.. well, really anything.

    The US is a new country, so it’s ‘nobelization’ of its past, is much easier catch out (for those that go just a little beneath the surface – that already elminates 95% of the US population). James Loewen’s book, “Lies my teacher told me” has a great chapter on the first thanksgiving, and the mythology that surrounds it.

  4. Apologies to Santosh, did not realize you were joking 🙂

    And ANNA, that is a great site, I love the game and seemingly it helps in a small way.

    Ridiculous. when you can get a 500 Gig Maxtor Firewire/USB2.0 for half price? what are you on.

    Good for you, go get it man!

  5. If you ever find yourself in Chattanooga, TN, check out this restaurant, run by Seventh-Day Adventists (also have some other locations, but the Boston one closed 🙁 ). They make one of the most delicious and healthy foods I’ve ever had. You’re more likely to find a soy/veggie version of sausage here.

    I have to disagree on this. I have a client that is a Seventh-Day Adventist School and so for lunch I would go to the cafeteria, which was my only choice as this school is very remote and I couldn’t cook because it was a client I have to travel for. It was some of the most disgusting food I’ve ever had. Everything had this fake meat in it that seemed to be made out of Gluten or something, it definitely wasn’t soy. And when I say everything, I mean everything had fake meat: fake chicken chunks in the soup, fake meat chunks in the nachos, a fake hamburger that had the texture of the real thing and the worst was the Chik’n – their word, not mine. It was breaded and shaped and had the texture of a chicken breast but we weren’t sure what is was made of and caused a lot of stomach pain the rest of the day. My thing is, if you are going to be vegetarian then why eat things that are fake meat? There are so many better vegetarian food/options out there, especially Indian food. I am not a vegetarian btw and am very much looking forward to turkey with all the trimmings tomorrow.

  6. sakshi, did I seem tense? I was teasing HMF.

    I was just making an observation. As an outsider (FOB), I find it v interesting.

    Whoa whoa whoa. Michelle Malkin is no authority on.. well, really anything.

    Of course, she is a nut. I was just remarking on the two extremes to this conversation.

  7. Ardy,

    Apologies to Santosh, did not realize you were joking 🙂

    My apologies too. My brand of humor and sarcasm often does not translate well over Al Gore’s invention.

    Yogi, Thanks for the recipe. I’m going to try it over this weekend, if I can get hold of the materials tonight.

  8. BIG, the one in Boston had some fake meat, but much of their food was vegetarian/vegan. So it’s fine to disagree since your experience is different from mine 🙂

    As for eating fake meat, I don’t really see what the issue is. It tastes good and is healthy. If it reminds some people of real meat, so be it – for them, it’s better than eating real meat.

  9. If it reminds some people of real meat, so be it – for them, it’s better than eating real meat.

    I think it’s super-useful to feed omnivores, but some of it is so realistic, I can’t partake. 🙂 I’ve purchased it, bravely stared at it when I opened the fridge, and then shuddered. I just couldn’t.

    The only exception to this is the Gardenburger that has feta mixed in…THAT I love…but it also doesn’t look much like a hamburger, to me at least. The sausages, fake bacon, pepperoni et al? Not so much. I’ll eat the soy protein bits that are in veggie chili, but that’s because when I was small, they seemed no different than all that ubiquitous shredded coconot which was in everything I ate. 😉 It looks like thenga, not the ground beef (??) it’s impersonating.

  10. Amit @ 60

    Yeah, this place had hardly any “real” food. You would think they would offer at least veggie burgers everyday. But I guess the rule holds true that dorm food is bad pretty much everywhere.

    As far as vegetarians that eat fake meat, most of the vegetarians that I know who do this are prior eat meaters and most often not brown. Most of the brown people I know that are vegetarians have been so for life.

    But I have to say the morningstar breakfast patties are awesome! If you used to eat meat, these would definitely satisfy your craving.

  11. My first thanksgiving and christmas amazing (best sex ever). Later ones were so-so. Christmas down under – one looks forward to the Boxing Day Test at the ‘G 🙂 Plus lots of backpackers who laze around in the sun.

  12. My favorite game on Thanksgiving is “Let’s find which fast-food restaurant is open right after Thanksgiving”. You can drive for miles and miles and miles and..

  13. Anna, I didn’t grow up eating sausages, deli slices, pepperoni etc., so I used to get amused when I first came across the vegetarian versions of those products. But every vegetarian to him/herself. I don’t think there’s any one version of vegetarian behavior or act that every vegetarian has to adhere to. If some have found a way to enjoy the taste without the cruelty, more power to them. I see no reason to make them feel guilty/bad about it. And if others don’t like fake meat, more power to them too. Otherwise, it becomes a game of “my version of vegetarianism” is better than yours, which is the sum total of human story in any “-ism”. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  14. First thanksgiving I spent in US was indeed depressing. That day is etched in my memory as I spent whole day HUNGRY!! Was in a small Oregon city on assignment all alone surviving on Burger King, McDonalds – having arrived few weeks before Thanksgiving – and all of them were closed. Had no clue what TG meant – there was no orientation for US trip / US customs unlike now. Had never cooked before in life so had no clue what to cook/eat either. Just drank water whole day. And damn phone card did not work to talk with ANYONE!

    Next year was spent jostling the crowd in Fry’s for some cheap hard drive (512 MB or 1GB HDD was big deal then — woooo!!!) or something. Went to buy hard drive but ended up with some cheapo keyboard.

    Thankfully with time social circle has grown and now TG is spent eatingTurkey Curry 🙂 (can’t miss curry you see – hey once a FOB, still a FOB)

  15. BIG, I’m actually not that into the fake meat – I enjoy it once in a blue moon, and do fine if I don’t get it. But it doesn’t bother me if other vegetarians are really into fake meat. 🙂

    The Country Life restaurants may have different food/menu from the school cafeteria you visited, and I haven’t been to their restaurant in TN, or UK. I’m extrapolating it from my experience in Boston, their philosophy and their excellent cookbook. Their home-fries were to die for!!

  16. Okay… thanksgiving is beginning to lose its luster for me. i just spent 4 hours in rainy, cold michigan running around to different grocery stores. i’m freezing and wet. boo! And now i have to cook 2 pasta dishes and homemade minestrone for 17! what was i thinking?!?!?!

    I’m confused though… why was everyone spending thanksgiving alone? when i was in law school and i didn’t go home, i went home with friends… didn’t other people do that?

  17. I love food, veggies, fruits, beans, fish, shell fish, poultry, beef and will try everything at least once (well may be not insects) I respect people’s choice regarding what they eat. I don’t try to preach what they should or should not eat.

    I wonder why some vegetarians/vegans have an almost evangelical zeal when it comes to converting people to their way of thinking. about food and making condescending and some times down right insulting remarks about people who don’t eat what they do.

    Ducking and taking cover against the verbal brickbats of kind and gentle vegetarian folk that are surely going to follow.

  18. Re: #69 Yogi

    If you want some insight into the sometimes irrational (but not therefore necessarily wrongful) relationship we have to food, including in-group, out-group behavior, check out William Miller, The Anatomy of Disgust.

    I am a bit schizy about food myself, at times.

  19. But it doesn’t bother me if other vegetarians are really into fake meat. 🙂

    It doesn’t bother me either. I guess I’m still not over the bad food I had at the university. And I thought it was ridiculous that being vegetarian is part of their religion but they were seemingly obsessed with meat because all the food items were composed of some fake, albeit very realistic looking, meat. The only vegetables were the pathetic salad bar. But as you said, the experience you had was much different. Plus we’re comparing restaurant food to dorm food in which there really is no comparison. I have been thinking about going vegetarian for awhile now and if I do, will prolly supplement my diet at times with fake meat products as I won’t be able to eat dal everyday.

  20. I don’t think there’s any one version of vegetarian behavior or act that every vegetarian has to adhere to. If some have found a way to enjoy the taste without the cruelty, more power to them. I see no reason to make them feel guilty/bad about it.

    Where did I ever say that there was? 🙂 All I said was that I couldn’t bring myself to eat things which looked meat-y. I know I’m a mediocre writer, but if that’s the impression I gave you with my comment…wow. 😉

  21. I respect people’s choice regarding what they eat. I don’t try to preach what they should or should not eat.

    Yes, every vegetarian I know/am related to respects other people’s choices, too. My sister, who is vegan, even COOKS meat for her friends.

    I wonder why some vegetarians/vegans have an almost evangelical zeal when it comes to converting people to their way of thinking.

    I wonder the same about meat-eaters who keep insisting, “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING”, re: steak, calamari, sushi etc etc. 😉

    about food and making condescending and some times down right insulting remarks about people who don’t eat what they do.

    Whoa, who was doing that? People need to stop assuming the worst about their fellow commenters, myself included. This was supposed to be a relaxed thread!

  22. Yogi, I talk about food and sustainable issues for the same reason I protest the Iraq war – my tax dollars are being wasted on subsidies to CAFOs and for land+air pollution. I’m not an evangelical vegetarian, but I am for sustainable practices. And yes, if there is a discussion on food, I will present my view (backed by facts hopefully) – what people do with those facts is totally up to them. 🙂

  23. I don’t think there’s any one version of vegetarian behavior or act that every vegetarian has to adhere to. If some have found a way to enjoy the taste without the cruelty, more power to them. I see no reason to make them feel guilty/bad about it. Where did I ever say that there was? 🙂 All I said was that I couldn’t bring myself to eat things which looked meat-y. I know I’m a mediocre writer, but if that’s the impression I gave you with my comment…wow. 😉

    Okay, to head off any future confusion, here’s the way veggies are usually segregated:

    Vegans–generally no dairy products, wheat and other stuff that makes life worthwile 😉

    lacto-vegetarians: dairy products allowed. No eggs, meat or seafood.

    ovo-lacto vegetarians: dairy and eggs allowed. No meat or seafood

    chicken vegetarians:…just kidding.

    I wonder why some vegetarians/vegans have an almost evangelical zeal when it comes to converting people to their way of thinking. about food and making condescending and some times down right insulting remarks about people who don’t eat what they do.

    “I often wonder why people sometimes cut me off on the highway. Then I realize that there are bad drivers and good drivers.”

    -Jack Hamsapaksha

    As far as vegetarians that eat fake meat, most of the vegetarians that I know who do this are prior eat meaters and most often not brown. Most of the brown people I know that are vegetarians have been so for life.

    yeah, i have no problem with the fake meat products as I’m not eating them in the hope that I’ll get nostalgic about the pork butt I ingested earlier in life–not ever having experienced the butt certainly helps.

    protein is very hard to come by if you bypass soy and wheat gluten.

    I wonder the same about meat-eaters who keep insisting, “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING”, re: steak, calamari, sushi etc etc. 😉

    I cured my friends of this most annoying behavior by giving them the “I’m seriously angry and will terminate this years-long friendship if you continue to express astonishment at my avoidance of tripe, tongue and deep-fried bull testicles after 15 years in an Ashram and and many more in a veg household” look.

  24. chicken vegetarians:…just kidding

    But I meet people all the time who tell me they are vegetarian. And then I ask them if they eat chicken or fish and they say yes. Most often they usually only say yes to the fish. But still, in my mind if you eat chicken or fish then you are not vegetarian. I have family in India that won’t even eat egss unless it’s in bread or cake as they can’t see it or smell it. All of them think the smell of eggs cooking is disgusting, even those that eat eggs. But I’ve never had a brown person tell me they are vegetarian and then say they eat fish or chicken.

  25. I wonder the same about meat-eaters who keep insisting, “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING”, re: steak, calamari, sushi etc etc. 😉

    I remember reading a hilarious blog post (long time ago, possibly through a link on SM) by someone who presented his responses to such people in a Seinfeld-like script, with Kramer playing the meat-eater. If anyone knows the URL, will appreciate the link. Tx.

  26. The only time that being veg or non-veg can be tricky is when you go out to eat and the restaurant is family style. When I go out to eat with friends that are strictly vegetarian then I always suggest a place that serves entrees. That way everyone is satisfied with their meal and there is no problem in ordering.

    And please let’s not start on the price difference between veg and non-veg entrees, we’ve already discussed that previously.

    But I am thankful that I live in the SF Bay Area and that there are really great vegetarian options at many restaurants so that when I feel like going veggie I can without having to eat a lot of cheese or carbs.

  27. Muralimannered, thank you on this thanksgiving eve. 😉

    I try. Has anyone been low on veg options and slumped into a Hare Krishna restaurant? Whilst dodging the homeless people streaming in for the promised free feeding, one is left with little time to truly evaluate the cuisine. I did it a few times in OZ and wasn’t really disappointed.

  28. Has anyone been low on veg options and slumped into a Hare Krishna restaurant?

    Somewhat related, but when I was in Brazil in February, I stayed at a Hare Krishna ashram-type place in the mountains North of Rio, and they served veggie food that wasn’t half bad. I had nothing to do with the planning; the (white) friend I was visiting found the place and picked it. She is a vegetarian, and loved the food. The strange thing about the entire experience was that there were all these non-brown people there, including the Brazilians who were all wearing kurtas or saris, and there was all this Krishna-related stuff everywhere. I sat through one of the guys telling my friend all about Krishna, but he was speaking Portuguese so I didn’t understand a word of it. It was odd to feel like the one who least belonged there, almost like I was the least in touch with a culture that was actually “mine.”

  29. I respect people’s choice regarding what they eat. I don’t try to preach what they should or should not eat. I wonder why some vegetarians/vegans have an almost evangelical zeal when it comes to converting people to their way of thinking. about food and making condescending and some times down right insulting remarks about people who don’t eat what they do.

    I tend not to get preachy about what others should eat (unless it is veal), and heck I eat non-red meat myself and even eat red meat on rare occasions, but there IS a moral argument to be made against eating meat. Apart from the sutainability point that Amit made in #76, there is also the fact that some people consider killing animals for food to be a moral wrong. Like anything else, it comes down to an issue of how preachy one wants to be about it, and certainly being too self-righteous can be annoying, but that shouldn’t obscure the actual argument that underlies these beliefs. An analogy would be, say, people criticizing those who drive Hummers vs. people saying “hey, some people like hybrids and some people like Hummers, to each their own, I don’t try to preach what other people drive.”

    But anyway … Happy Thanksgiving! (I will be eating Turkey tomorrow.)

  30. wow- can’t believe its been a whole year since I delurked on one of Mr. Kobashi’s threads about Thanksgiving last year. I will be away from home for the holiday as well, but I’m planning a potluck with friends- spotted dick sans suet on the menu.

    #70- check out William Miller, The Anatomy of Disgust.

    That really looks interesting, I’m putting it on my to do list. Virtual smorgasbord of information on SM that you don’t have to be “brown” to get down with.

    I’ve had great vegan meals at the Chicago location of this “chain”-(photos at bottom of page) If you check it out- go for the prince salad dressing; nutritional yeast=sooo good. It’s traditional “soul” (e.g.southern) food w/o the meat. Interesting back story to the owners(?)- ,seem a bit ‘out there’ apparently they have a community based in Israel since 1969. The restaurant is the perfect set for a blaxploitation film,— you feel like you are walking on to a sound stage for the 1960’s– style of dress- diashikis/Afros etc. of the wait staff.

    At any rate the food is top notch- the clientele- ranges from everyday blue collar workers,young men of questionable means, U of Chic. students, bougie types, up and coming posers- everything. – not just your typical vegan/vegetarian consumer “I will spend 3x more than average” for organic ,humane, etc you normally see in a whole foods, vegan cafe etc in the US. carnivorous types dine there literally because the food is delicious.

  31. I have been thinking about going vegetarian for awhile now and if I do, will prolly supplement my diet at times with fake meat products as I won’t be able to eat dal everyday.

    if you are like me and don’t find too much time to cook (though i enjoy it when i can), it is a good idea. it helps if you live in, for eg., new york or sf bay area (especially the latter, from personal experience)—you will get things that don’t taste like cardboard at prices that are not ridiculous. but you need more planning than fake meat products. protein is the easy problem (it is not very hard to eat even upwards of 80+g a day if you are tolerant to lactose). iron intake will be an issue, especially for women, even more so if you are an athlete. balancing out is what you need to worry most about. i have seen some close friends of mine who tried the veggie option, but soon gave up—they kept thinking that so long as they keep protein intake in mind, they should be ok. that is not true.

    the thing is, if you follow a desi diet or any traditionally veggie diet (in this re: tofu/soy doesn’t count since it has never been the exclusive protein source in any part of the world), you are pretty much safe. but since you are deviating from a time-tested dietary plan, lot of planning is necessary. use supplements as necessary initially, but get off them as soon as you can. talk to people like you who have been veggie, find out what they are doing. if you have friends who don’t mind, cook and eat together when you can. that imo is the best approach.

    best of luck. do it right, you will feel better—just as you would with any healthy diet. but never ever combine a veggie diet with ones such as atkins/southbeach and what not. it is a “recipe” for disaster.

  32. I have to agree with post #8 (Tiger Yogiji). Tofurkey is excellent stuff. The vegetarian stuffing that goes with it is also out of this world. Products like these make it a little easier to be a vegan. (Although it isn’t necessarily easy on the wallet.)

  33. I don’t know what the rest of you are talking about! Tofurky is delicious!! P.S. Anna, if it weren’t for your ankle, I would suggest volunteering at a soup kitchen this Thanksgiving. Believe me, nothing makes you appreciate the blessings of your life more, than seeing those who have less…

    If you are so full of the milk of human kindness, how many tofurkeys are you sending off to Disney World to spend their dotage? Me, I repay the kindness shown my eponymous ancestors by inviting three of my white neighbors and presenting them with smallpox blankets.

  34. Sunflower, that was beautiful. I’d love it if this turned in to a thread where people shared similar. 🙂

    I just caught myself wishing this thread to turn into this.

    Happy Turkey Day mutineers, I’m thankful for you all.

  35. “So you have not had this…tofurkey you sent me, on Facebook?”

    the link in that quote leads to a verrry interesting discussion on teabagging. The things one learns on the Internets.

  36. Comment #89 “If you are so full of the milk of human kindness, how many tofurkeys are you sending off to Disney World to spend their dotage? Me, I repay the kindness shown my eponymous ancestors by inviting three of my white neighbors and presenting them with smallpox blankets.”

    Huh?

  37. Comment #89 “If you are so full of the milk of human kindness, how many tofurkeys are you sending off to Disney World to spend their dotage? Me, I repay the kindness shown my eponymous ancestors by inviting three of my white neighbors and presenting them with smallpox blankets.” Huh?

    TY – I don’t get the Disney World part of the quote. But I do remember learning in history class that beside malaria and other diseases brought over by the Europeans, that many Indiginous people were killed by smallpox that was on blankets given to them.

  38. I don’t know what’s more obnoxious– trying to advertise your site while flaming or being negative on a holiday thread where others are being thankful and thoughtful. Either way, take it somewhere else. Deleted.

  39. Which means? 🙂

    Guru Nanak’s birthday according to Indian calendar falls on Nov 24th this year

    My punjabi is rusty, but here goes Guru Purab de lakh lakh vadhai hovey. = Millions of greetings on Guru Purab

  40. Hugs, Anna! Don’t be blue– you throw a great Thanksgiving online!

    I love the idea of Thanksgiving and make the whole Thanksgiving meal with the turkey, sweet potatoes and the works! Of course I marinade my turkey with Indian spices put chipotle in my mashed sweet potatoes and make cranberry achar instead of the sweet relish.

    What a great idea!

    I do love fall veggies in soups and mashed with stuff and too much cream and butter and black sa;lt and kosher salt. Sweet potatoes mashed with finely chopped browned onions, cauliflower with three cheeses, carrot and dill soup, brussels sprouts quartered and microwaved with zucchini instead of water and lots of butter and kali mirch, wild rice and apple and red onion and portobello mushroom stuffing, Yukon potatoes au gratin, creamed spinach with actual cream and nutmeg, pumpkin mousse with brown sugar and Grand Marnier,pecan brittle with whipped cream…..Sonoma wines, not Bordeaux, but maybe Sancerre anyway…

    The wholesale coast to coast slaughter of turkeys is a Bad Thing, it is true– what TC Boyle says, but I have to admit one good thing about turkey meat is all that tryptophan that sends you off to sleep better than anything. Turkey and brown basmati? Kumbhakarna time!

  41. And I thought it was ridiculous that being vegetarian is part of their religion but they were seemingly obsessed with meat because all the food items were composed of some fake, albeit very realistic looking, meat.

    Alright, time for some outcry from the Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) camp – albeit a little late in the game, but seriously? Who cares if the meat looks real (a valid musing, for I wondered the same when I was about 10)if our “ridiculous” belief is promoting a healthier lifestyle? Studies have shown that the SDAs that stick to the guidelines of clean living (in addition to vegetarianism they do not use alcohol or tobacco) have a longer life expectancy than average. Anyway, you clearly have not sampled the wonderful flavor in many a Desi SDA aunty’s ‘Fry-Chick’ curry. Scrumptious! Having said all of this, I am doomed, for I eat meat and drink, making me one very Bad SDA Indian Girl.

    P.S. I also secretly wonder if the “remote university” you went to was mine. The food was not great.

  42. Of course, she is a nut. I was just remarking on the two extremes to this conversation.

    The fact that Thanksgiving has been mythologized, “nobelized” and shape-shifted towards some kind of “the pilgrims shared their feast with the backwards Indian out of kindness” is not an extreme position.

    However, if people use it as a time for self-reflectance/atonement/etc.. more so than just “pigs feeding at the trough” then I’m all for it.