Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Chappals

I’m waiting in line at the “secret” coffee place I mentioned in a post once, on the phone with one of my closest friends.

“How are you? How’s the ankle?”, he asks.

“Blue and mediocre.”

“Wait, WHAT?”

“Well, I’m wearing a blue dress and it still hurts. Actually, I officially sound like an Ammachi/Naniji now, because my hip hurts constantly. Apparently, three months of limping will do that to you!”

“Smartypants, here I was worried you were ‘blue’ as in sad.”

“Tiny bit. Always am around the holidays.”

“Are you going home for Thanksgiving?”

“No. Mom’s traveling, no one’s there.”

“What timing for a trip!”

“Well…we never really celebrated the holiday. My parents had that typical snarky comeback, you know, ‘only Americans would need a special day to be thankful for everything. Hmmph! We’re thankful daily!’…like that. So it was just a regular day at our house…with slightly different TV programs.”

“So you have not had this…tofurkey you sent me, on Facebook?”

“No. I don’t eat tofu.”

“You sound sad.”

“I guess I am, a little bit. Everyone’s rushing off with a suitcase and while I don’t really want to travel THIS week, it reminds me that they’re going to be with their family, and that does make me miss home. This is my first Thanksgiving when I’m not going anywhere. It’s a little depressing.”

“Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.”

280 thoughts on “Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Chappals

  1. So Amber, will you join me in proposing we stop killing turkeys to commemorate the slaughter of American Indians and observe at least minute of silence on Thanksgiving Day for those to whom we owe everything?

    ya man. a long silence interspersed with turkey farts.

  2. 242 · amber pilsner Let’s be thankful for the crassest consumerism ever known to man

    Woot, woot–I got a Garmin nuvi 200w today on sale at BestBuy! It takes my mind off of all kinds of troubling stuff!

  3. All this time, i thought he was Chinese.

    his son in law has a chinese surname – Tse 😉 from the great Mao I suppose. were you serious about the comment about him being of chinese descent. He is a classic rags to riches story – one not very common in Oz.

  4. Lets be thankful for the 650,000 Sand #$%#s killed in Iraq.

    How is the observance of Thanksgiving related to the Iraq war?

    Let’s be thankful for the destruction of native civilizations, made fun of by self-congratulating janissaries so that upper caste Indians can come over here and absorb themselves into prosperous whiteness when the typical Indian is a half-starved wastrel, thanks to his government, and thanks to the opportunists without a national sense, who left it all behind.

    I thought the pilgrims were peaceful, religious-minded folk who came here to be able to freely practice their religion, and hence, when met with the native Indians, greeted them in peace and lived peaceably among them, while it was the colonizers, the men who sought power in a new land, who waged war amongst the Indians. The two are distinct groups, are they not?

    Let’s be thankful for all the old parents we’ve brought here to rot alone in front of television sets, because we’ve found that money matters more than family.

    Amber, the only parents rotting alone in front of TVs are the parents with no life. And they are doing that in India as well. One cannot expect one’s children and grand-children to spend all of their time with them, we have jobs, school, etc. If a person does not have any interests, hobbies, etc outside of watching TV, who’s fault is that? At the very least they could “get religion” and keep themselves occupied at the mandir/mosque/temple/puja room. There are so many things to do in life. One does not become “old” just because they are retired. Join a gym or become a senior tri-athelete! Volunteer at your local shelter for victims of domestic violence. There are so many useful things seniors can do with their time, bodies and minds besides zoning out in front of Zee TV and lamenting how everyone else has a life except for them.

    Let’s be thankful for the 100,000,000 Turkeys slaughtered on Turkey day.

    Thanksgiving and Hajj to Mecca are two of the most gruesome and bloody “sacrifices” allowed to still exist in this day and age. Odd how “religious” and “traditional” events, which are supposed to be celebratory and wholesome result in the wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent living beings. There’s no excuse for it really.

    Let’s be thankful for the crassest consumerism ever known to man, a de-spiritualized culture, and global warming which leads to global oblivion.

    Crass consumerism cannot be checked as long as there are people watching TV. Refer to comment above about “getting a life”.

    Let’s be thankful for being among the ten percent of mostly white people (and now a few asians) who live away from the constant threat of disease and starvation, thanks to our own brilliance and natural ability to “work with smart people” of course.

    Many Indians and other Asian people came to this country poor and desperate to escape dangerous situations in their own countries. Why not be thankful that they were able to relocate and make a better life for their kids? After all, parents always want a better life for their kids than they had themselves, nothing wrong with that. Not all of us are crass consumers gone wild.

    Let’s be thankful for obesity, alzheimer’s disease (and now autism) all diseases of prosperity.

    Alzheimer’s is a weird one. I sometimes speculate that it could be the result of not “having a life”. I see old people who, like you say, sit in front of the TV all day with no higher purpose in life, and I wonder if that could be what is deteriorating their minds and psyches? Get religion people. On the other hand it may just be a new name for something that has been around for ages, maybe it’s just getting more publicity now than ever before, now that people are living longer than they used to on average.

    Have a great Sunday night. Be sure to check your portfolio before tomorrow’s opening, and readjust the damn 401k, will ya? That emerging markets overexposure will kill you, every time

    Don’t have a 401K.

  5. Have a great Sunday night. Be sure to check your portfolio before tomorrow’s opening, and readjust the damn 401k, will ya? That emerging markets overexposure will kill you, every time
    Don’t have a 401K.

    There is nothing wrong with planning for and securing your future. Afterall, we cannot expect that anyone will take care of us or provide $$$ for us come retirement. We have to watch our own backs. Why the bitterness towards people who have the ability to do that, Amber? It doesn’t mean that they are also not contributing to those less financially fortunate than they are. Afterall, all NGOs and other orgs created for helping the needy need money from people who have it in order to do anything. In order to help those who don’t.

  6. Muralimannered, are the sexual exploitation accusations against the leading Swami, founder of Yogaville, true?

    If so, I would also hold that the adults who serviced the Swami are at fault for going against their conscience. I mean, if my priest asked me to perform a sex act with him, as a thinking adult, I would refuse and not go back. So why did these adults act like children who did not know any better?

  7. Bless Up@ 254

    “I thought the pilgrims were peaceful, religious-minded folk who came here to be able to freely practice their religion, and hence, when met with the native Indians, greeted them in peace and lived peaceably among them, while it was the colonizers, the men who sought power in a new land, who waged war amongst the Indians. The two are distinct groups, are they not?”

    It’s difficult in many cases to make this distinction. Even the term “pilgrim”, which is traditionally used to define people who are making religious journeys, isn’t completely accurate here. When those settlers landed, they already knew that there would be other people living there, and even many of their early interactions with the natives were not necessarily of a peaceful and cooperative sort. Not to say that they were all hateful racists either, but that trend of thought and action was always a factor, and unfortunately the one that won out. The historical Thanksgiving was more of a strategic summit than a feast of cooperation. Negotiation was the main reason for the two groups meeting on that day.

  8. Not to say that they were all hateful racists either, but that trend of thought and action was always a factor, and unfortunately the one that won out.

    Having moved for religious reasons, they believed the sudden death of many natives (with the diseases the europeans brought over, due to their lack of hygiene among othe things) was part of some kind of divinity inspired morality play. They believed God chose them over the ‘dark skinned native’

  9. Having moved for religious reasons, they believed the sudden death of many natives (with the diseases the europeans brought over, due to their lack of hygiene among othe things) was part of some kind of divinity inspired morality play. They believed God chose them over the ‘dark skinned native’

    Any evidence for this attitude? Books, chronicles, diaries?

    Can we really know what those individuals were thinking?

    Should I just assume that they wanted to live peacefully and practice their own religion, while not mixing closely with those who were not adherents to the same?

    That’s basically the same attitude that the devoutly religious the world over today have. They tend to move amongst their own, dealing with “outsiders” for purposes of neccessity as well as to “share” their “knowledge” with interested parties.

    I can’t think of too many devout Hindus, or any actually, that regularly attend churches and mosques as well, or devout Muslims who mix and mingle closely with devout Hindus or Wiccans.

    Birds of a feather tend to flock together. That does not mean however that animosity towards the “other” is neccessarily latent in their hearts.

    Rap singers hang with rap singers, not country or folk singers.

  10. This is the story told by the American Indians.

    THE REAL STORY OF THANKSGIVING

    by Susan Bates Most of us associate the holiday with happy Pilgrims and Indians sitting down to a big feast. And that did happen – once.

    The story began in 1614 when a band of English explorers sailed home to England with a ship full of Patuxet Indians bound for slavery. They left behind smallpox which virtually wiped out those who had escaped. By the time the Pilgrims arrived in Massachusetts Bay they found only one living Patuxet Indian, a man named Squanto who had survived slavery in England and knew their language. He taught them to grow corn and to fish, and negotiated a peace treaty between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Nation. At the end of their first year, the Pilgrims held a great feast honoring Squanto and the Wampanoags.

    But as word spread in England about the paradise to be found in the new world, religious zealots called Puritans began arriving by the boat load.

    Finding no fences around the land, they considered it to be in the public domain. Joined by other British settlers, they seized land, capturing strong young Natives for slaves and killing the rest. But the Pequot Nation had not agreed to the peace treaty Squanto had negotiated and they fought back. The Pequot War was one of the bloodiest Indian wars ever fought.

    In 1637 near present day Groton, Connecticut, over 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe had gathered for their annual Green Corn Festival which is our Thanksgiving celebration. In the predawn hours the sleeping Indians were surrounded by English and Dutch mercenaries who ordered them to come outside. Those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive. The next day the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared “A Day Of Thanksgiving” because 700 unarmed men, women and children had been murdered.

    Cheered by their “victory”, the brave colonists and their Indian allies attacked village after village. Women and children over 14 were sold into slavery while the rest were murdered. Boats loaded with a many as 500 slaves regularly left the ports of New England. Bounties were paid for Indian scalps to encourage as many deaths as possible.

    Following an especially successful raid against the Pequot in what is now Stamford, Connecticut, the churches announced a second day of “thanksgiving” to celebrate victory over the heathen savages. During the feasting, the hacked off heads of Natives were kicked through the streets like soccer balls. Even the friendly Wampanoag did not escape the madness. Their chief was beheaded, and his head impaled on a pole in Plymouth, Massachusetts — where it remained on display for 24 years.

    The killings became more and more frenzied, with day s of thanksgiving feasts being held after each successful massacre. George Washington finally suggested that only one day of Thanksgiving per year be set aside instead of celebrating each and every massacre. Later Abraham Lincoln decreed Thanksgiving Day to be a legal national holiday during the Civil War — on the same day he ordered troops to march against the starving Sioux in Minnesota.

    This story doesn’t have quite the same fuzzy feelings associated with it as the one where the Indians and Pilgrims are all sitting down together at the big feast. But we need to learn our true history so it won’t ever be repeated. Next Thanksgiving, when you gather with your loved ones to Thank God for all your blessings, think about those people who only wanted to live their lives and raise their families. They, also took time out to say “thank you” to Creator for all their blessings.

    It is sad to think that this happened, but it i s important to understand all of the story and not just the happy part. Today the town of Plymouth Rock has a Thanksgiving ceremony each year in remembrance of the first Thanksgiving. There are still Wampanoag people living in Massachusetts. In 1970, they asked one of them to speak at the ceremony to mark the 350th anniversary of the Pilgrim’s arrival. Here is part of what was said:

    “Today is a time of celebrating for you — a time of looking back to the first days of white people in America. But it is not a time of celebrating for me. It is with a heavy heart that I look back upon what happened to my People. When the Pilgrims arrived, we, the Wampanoags, welcomed them with open arms, little knowing that it was the beginning of the end. That before 50 years were to pass, the Wampanoag would no longer be a tribe. That we and other Indians living near the settlers would be killed by their guns or dead from diseases that we c aught from them. Let us always remember, the Indian is and was just as human as the white people.

    Although our way of life is almost gone, we, the Wampanoags, still walk the lands of Massachusetts. What has happened cannot be changed. But today we work toward a better America, a more Indian America where people and nature once again are important.”

    Not trying to bring down the thread but here is a little something to grow on.

  11. his son in law has a chinese surname – Tse 😉 from the great Mao I suppose. were you serious about the comment about him being of chinese descent. He is a classic rags to riches story – one not very common in Oz.

    Melbourne Desi, I was serious. I mean, look at this…and this…and of course this. you’d think he had a Chinese grandmother who took care to teach him stuff, not a SIL.

    BTW, Not what the Pilgrims and Puritans thought, BlessUp, what they did.

  12. “I thought the pilgrims were peaceful, religious-minded folk who came here to be able to freely practice their religion, and hence, when met with the native Indians, greeted them in peace and lived peaceably among them, while it was the colonizers, the men who sought power in a new land, who waged war amongst the Indians. The two are distinct groups, are they not?”

    Religion and peace at that day and age were mutually exclusive.. Sure they came over to Americas to practice “their” religion. But it didnt mean that they were friendly with other religious or non religious cultures. All they were trying to do was escape persecution, because of “their” religious beliefs . It didnt mean that they didnt persecute others. If only they had believed in “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” rather than “I am the only way”…..

  13. Should I just assume that they wanted to live peacefully and practice their own religion

    No. because it’s historically incorrect. they escaped persecution, they didn’t have time to pack board games. They wouldn’t have survived had it not been for their interaction with the natives. Indeed, terms like “pilgrim” and “settlers” are euphamisms and general whitewashes.

  14. Doug,

    I appreciate your comment. It IS important to remember those who were decimated and your comment did that without alienating people or putting them on the defensive.

    I think it’s possible to say a prayer for those who were victims of injustice then as well as those who still are, now, even as you are happy that you get to see your family for a few days. We rarely get to spend time with each other, this is one of the only times during the year when that’s possible and I don’t think people should be made to feel bad for looking forward to, enjoying or cherishing that.

    I’m not sure what some of you expect from your peers; that they not eat with their families? Should we wear black and mull over tragedy? Or should we celebrate life and love when we can, without that being unfairly labeled as selfish or ignorant? Some of the assumptions are amusing, too. I did want this to be a positive thread and as the person who started it, that’s my right. But, I spent thanksgiving alone. I did not shop on black Friday. And yet, I wanted this thread to be about mindfulness, gratitude and goodwill. But hey, it’s easier to dismiss me and my idealist ilk as mindless, callous assholes who cheer dead Iraqis and crassly consumer our way through the 3am crowds, right? I’m so sick of saying this but it’s not either/or, people. You can celebrate thanksgiving, be mindful of what the original intent of it was and eat with loved ones, all at the same time.

  15. I can’t think of too many devout Hindus, or any actually, that regularly attend churches and mosques as well, or devout Muslims who mix and mingle closely with devout Hindus or Wiccans.

    I attended church services nearly every week for a couple of months last year… I still go once in a while. & I’m Hindu. So we do exist. Some of the more popular religious figures from the subcontinent transcended religious identity themselves, e.g. Shirdi Sai Baba, Kabir, Guru Nanak Dev, and I’m sure there are more.

  16. oh and to get back to the original intent of this thread. thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year, because it involves family and food. i’m thankful for the one day/the one holiday weekend a year when my family can let go of its intergenerational, decades-long drama to just eat and be merry.

  17. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy Thanksgiving, I just put that up for the poster that wanted proof of what happened. I had a great time and my brother’s even though my niece destroyed the sweet potato pie my step mother made.

  18. Bless Up,

    If you wish to talk about yogaville further, i’ll respond to queries sent to my email which i’ve included in the handle link.

    otherwise it’s a bit too off-topic, even for this thread.

  19. 266 · nala I attended church services nearly every week for a couple of months last year… I still go once in a while. & I’m Hindu.

    Tres syncretic! 😉

  20. I attended church services nearly every week for a couple of months last year… I still go once in a while. & I’m Hindu

    I know of Hindu guys who do it to get laid. I assume that was not your goal.

  21. I know of Hindu guys who do it to get laid. I assume that was not your goal.

    Haha, actually it kind of was. I went last year when the guy I was going out with was an evangelical Christian (didn’t work). My boyfriend now is Christian (the St. Thomas kind), but in a way that’s more compatible with me (and, um, I didn’t need it to work).

  22. I’m so sick of saying this but it’s not either/or, people. You can celebrate thanksgiving, be mindful of what the original intent of it was and eat with loved ones, all at the same time.

    Anna @ 265, thanks for your comments. I think you’re right on here. I actually posted some thoughts about this very question on my blog on Thanksgiving– I think it’s important, especially for those of us who descend from the colonizers of this country, to wrestle with this question. At the same time, it’s the most important culinary day of the year in the US, and the only one whose traditional foods celebrate American foodways, which I love; and as you mentioned, we all get so little time off to see our families, we’ve got to make the most of that.

  23. Melbourne Desi, I was serious. I mean, look at this…and this…and of course this. you’d think he had a Chinese grandmother who took care to teach him stuff, not a SIL.

    He learnt Mandarin when he was a foreign diplomat. Every Australian diplomat is expected to learn a foreign language. Rudd chose Mandarin and was posted for a few years to Beijing. At that time it was probably a foolhardy move especially given contempt for Asians in Australia. In retrospect a very wise move. The previous Foreign Minister – Downer was also a diplomat and he spoke French. Downer kept mocking Rudd for speaking Mandarin -that sent more Asian voters into the Rudd camp. If Rudd had even a drop of Chinese blood in him it would have been used in the election.

  24. i gather from the sound of his voice and the comments under the YouTube videos that he speaks in a very polisged and correct Mandarin, as one might speak with people of a a much older generation. And he totally uses a different repertoire of intonation and gestures, so that really he gives the impression of being Chinese=– nothing halfway. Anyway, he’ll certainly change politics in his part of the world and beyond–the anti-Chris Patton. Did you see him thank Hu for the pandas? That was great! Interesting that he was posted to Stockholm for a long while, too.

  25. Interesting that he was posted to Stockholm for a long while, too.

    yes, I suppose that means he probably speaks broken Swedish. I take it that you have a more than passing knowledge of Mandarin.

  26. I have zero knowledge of Mandarin; just registering the response of the newscaster, KRudd’s apparent comfort level, what the YouTube commentators say, viz., “His Mandarin is better than my family’s.”– it’s clearly a fairly plummy accent, maybe passed along in the teaching traditions at ANU? Never having seen a video of him speaking Swedish, I would venture a guess that it wouldn’t be too shabby, since Swedish is pretty much descended from Middle English, with frills.

  27. Sorry, I should have said Swedish is a cousin of Middle English, a few times removed. And maybe KRudd speaks in the Mandarin he put into practice as a diplomat in Beijing.

  28. would venture a guess that it wouldn’t be too shabby, since Swedish is pretty much descended from Middle English, with frills.

    I would aver that it is quite rusty since he would have had very little opportunity to practise it post his Swedish stint. but all said and done he is someone to be admired – from being a sharecroppers son to Prime Minister is quite an achievement.

  29. If it were language alone, I’d still think he’s amazing. There will be a huge change of attitude in his wake. My young friend in Beijing confirms, “Kevin really speaks excellent mandarin…haha…bringing an ever brighter future to the Sino-Aus relationship!”