Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Chappals

Posted on by

I’m waiting in line at the “secret” coffee place I mentioned in a post once, on the phone with one of my closest friends.

“How are you? How’s the ankle?”, he asks.

“Blue and mediocre.”

“Wait, WHAT?”

“Well, I’m wearing a blue dress and it still hurts. Actually, I officially sound like an Ammachi/Naniji now, because my hip hurts constantly. Apparently, three months of limping will do that to you!”

“Smartypants, here I was worried you were ‘blue’ as in sad.”

“Tiny bit. Always am around the holidays.”

“Are you going home for Thanksgiving?”

“No. Mom’s traveling, no one’s there.”

“What timing for a trip!”

“Well…we never really celebrated the holiday. My parents had that typical snarky comeback, you know, ‘only Americans would need a special day to be thankful for everything. Hmmph! We’re thankful daily!’…like that. So it was just a regular day at our house…with slightly different TV programs.”

“So you have not had this…tofurkey you sent me, on Facebook?”

“No. I don’t eat tofu.”

“You sound sad.”

“I guess I am, a little bit. Everyone’s rushing off with a suitcase and while I don’t really want to travel THIS week, it reminds me that they’re going to be with their family, and that does make me miss home. This is my first Thanksgiving when I’m not going anywhere. It’s a little depressing.”

“Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.”

280 thoughts on “Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Chappals”

  1. “So you have not had this…tofurkey you sent me, on Facebook?” “No. I don’t eat tofu.”

    I went down that road once. After cleaning the effluvium off my bathroom sink (never did make it to the commode), I reconsidered my veggie lifestyle and it’s various implications.

    Tofu is fine when you control the prep, but tofurkey is an abomination.

    “Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.”

    Yeah, I do feel somewhat guilty about the lifetime of hippie-spun thanksgivings in which i’ve been privileged to take part. I can almost hear that obnoxious Lee Greenwood song (that Young Republicans are taught to memorize at birth 😉 every time I tuck into some stuffing.

  2. Anna, come to my house! We have open “Indian” Thanksgiving, which is basically anyone who doesn’t have somewhere to go comes to our house and eats whatever we decide to make. This year, I’m in charge and I’m making vegetarian Italian, but last year my mom was in charge and it was vegetarian Mexican, vegetarian Indian, and vegetarian Thai. I think she just uses tomorrow as an excuse to make all the weird recipes that she finds in those little cookbooks they sell in the checkout aisle at the grocery store. 😛

    don’t be depressed! own your thanksgiving! invite some ppl over and do a small party potluck style? or go rent every movie you’ve wanted to watch in the last 6 months and have a movie marathon! or start an art project?

    tofuturkey? has anyone actually eaten it? b/c i have a fundamental problem with taking soy and shaping it into meaty things.

  3. My fam never celebrated Turkey Day either (and it wasn’t just b/c we were veggie…well most of us). Mostly it was b/c the women were tired from all the cooking from Diwali. We had so many family gatherings that by the time Thanksgiving came around…it was a nice day off to relax. Sometimes we did potlucks…the cousins are starting to do a potluck thanksgiving but mostly its a day off to have fun. 🙂

    As for that ankle….you should get it checked out by a good PT. 🙂

    Happy Turkey Day!

  4. Awww, Lusterbee! You are too sweet. 🙂 Thank you. I don’t want people to think I’m angling for an invite, like I said, this wasn’t a big holiday for my fam…I just wanted to put the post up, to show solidarity with all the other browns/exchange students/singles/orphans/misanthropes who aren’t having a Hallmark Gold Crown holiday. 😉

    don’t be depressed! own your thanksgiving! invite some ppl over and do a small party potluck style? or go rent every movie you’ve wanted to watch in the last 6 months and have a movie marathon! or start an art project?

    I actually was planning on starting a long-put-off art project! You’re psychic. 🙂 I didn’t include the last part of this conversation, which is when I was told my friend that had I known, I would’ve organized something like a “Hey, everyone in DC who isn’t going anywhere for TG…let’s go see American Gangster, or some other movie!”-thing.

    It was just such a jarring moment, to realize what it must be like for all those grad students/exchange students/newbies who also aren’t doing anything, for whatever reason; my friend graduated a few years ago, and he was telling me how he spent every TG alone, since it’s not like you can go back to India for a three-day weekend. I had a taste of what my parents probably felt like in the early 70s. Well…they didn’t grow up marinating in this “Thanksgiving is SO IMPORTANT!”-culture, but still…

  5. i have a fundamental problem with taking soy and shaping it into meaty things.

    Seitan tastes so much better than soy.

  6. Actually, I officially sound like an Ammachi/Naniji now, because my hip hurts constantly.

    heh. but in a sorry way.

    “How are you? How’s the ankle?”,

    Ouch! Ouch! hm.. i think I know your neihborhood. I believe there’s a YWCA within hopping distance I think that might be wonderful for water running. Uncoils the spine and flexes the ankle and all that sort of thing y’know. But your physio’s pro’ly kept you on top of this.

    i have a fundamental problem with taking soy and shaping it into meaty things.

    ugh! is it actually supposed to be shaped like an animal. that’s disgusting. I had a vision of someone sinking her hands in pasty goo and patting it into a shape of a turkey whose neck totters and creaks into an unnatural shape. Actually, I thnk Tom green did a show in which he shaped human hair and glue into animals. egh. Cue to #43 when someone brings up the bird melange-a-trois.
    Happy Thanksgiving y’all! [from the frozen tundra]

  8. I don’t know what the rest of you are talking about! Tofurky is delicious!!

    P.S. Anna, if it weren’t for your ankle, I would suggest volunteering at a soup kitchen this Thanksgiving. Believe me, nothing makes you appreciate the blessings of your life more, than seeing those who have less…

  9. depends on the proximity of meat-alternative makin’ hippies. Twin Oaks Farms makes a mean soy chorizo. Seitan seems to be more expensive ’round my parts as well.

    I prefer traditional veg to meat simulacra. Soy based chorizo is an insult to pigs. The potato based burger pattys in Indian fast food is far better,but perhaps not as healthy, as the veggie patties they sell here in the US of A

  10. Anna, I hope you feel better and enjoy your art project.

    If it’s any consolation, 1/2 of my family went to desh. The other half went to the Northeast. Lifelong’s better 1/2 had a last minute business trip to a country that does not celebrate Tgiving (!). It’s just me at home with the toddlers. But, we will have finger paint and cheerios, so it’s not all bad. 🙂

    I sent you an email, and you never responded. :-(.

  12. Seitan tastes so much better than soy.

    Check out RealFoodDaily, if you’re in the LA area.

    “Hey, everyone in DC who isn’t going anywhere for TG…let’s go see American Gangster, or some other movie!”-

    Interestingly enough, the opening (almost opening) scene of that movie is Bumpy Johnson handing out turkeys in Harlem.

    (reverse shot from inside the truck, then wide push in on denzel)

  13. Check out RealFoodDaily, if you’re in the LA area.

    Thanks HMF, been there, love them, got the t-shirt (over long sleeve shirt, natch). Their faux caesar rocks…

  14. Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.

    All the fellow FOBs I know are quite excited for Thanksgiving because they get all these great deals at Best Buy and Circuit City. Honestly, I can’t think of a single one who is depressed at this time of the year. They’re too busy spending their hard earned rupeez.

  15. Hilarious…

    Lets see.. over 5000 miles from home…. 40% discount on a new hard drive. yeah that balances out.

  16. Thanksgiving has always been a time for road trips for me 🙂 have fun trying to find open restaurants on thanksgiving day!

    No road trip this year though.

  17. Well, now you know what a FOB feels like. All the fellow FOBs I know are quite excited for Thanksgiving because they get all these great deals at Best Buy and Circuit City. Honestly, I can’t think of a single one who is depressed at this time of the year. They’re too busy spending their hard earned rupeez.

    Hmmm….most of the DBDs I know like to do Vegas on Thanksgiving. And a lot of CBCs (China born Chinese)too

  18. Ok, so what are the plans for Black Friday. Best place to buy a kick ass plasma tv? Circuit City? HHGREGG? Ideas? Strategies?

  19. I vividly remember my first time in US at Thanksgiving. I was studying at Virginia Tech and opted not to go visit my relatives since I had all these exams just the week after thanksgiving and it was my first semester and I was anxious to do my best. I didn’t realize/anticipate how deserted the campus got during Thanksgiving. I felt really really alone and almost cried myself to sleep. When I forced myself to wake up the next cold morning, I saw snow for the first time. It was beautiful.

  20. Honestly, I can’t think of a single one who is depressed at this time of the year. They’re too busy spending their hard earned rupeez.

    When you empty your savings account, it ultimately depresses you dawg.

    Ok, so what are the plans for Black Friday. Best place to buy a kick ass plasma tv? Circuit City? HHGREGG? Ideas? Strategies?

    bfads.net, they have ad scans of most major places. The other advice to shop, get together with your friends and make one common list. Each one hit one store, that way you can get everything (at least in theory) you want.

  21. Sunflower, that was beautiful. I’d love it if this turned in to a thread where people shared similar. 🙂

  22. “Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.”

    I was lucky to be invited to different Thanksgiving feasts in homes of friends and relatives, and relatives’ friends – for each of the first four years of graduate school, back in the late 80s-early 90s. One year, I was invited home by my then room-mate, who was descended from a family that arrived on the Mayflower, and celebrated it quite traditionally! I was a very special ‘FOB’ then.

    In the fifth year, I would have been by myself, but the Foreign Students’ Office sent my name to the Campus Catholic group – they invited me, and there I met many other people who would also have been alone – both from the US and abroad, both graduates and undergrads, and we cooked our own Thanksgiving dinner from scratch – including a vegetarian option too. I think I might have baked and mashed the sweet potatoes myself, in addition to stirring the stuffing to make it just right!

    Ever since then, I’ve always contributed to Thanksgiving Dinners at local soup-kitchens, both cash and time. As TigerYogiji mentioned upthread, it can be greatly fulfilling, especially if you’re otherwise going to be alone, though again, not necessarily with an ankle that is still healing 🙂

    To all, best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving!

  23. All the fellow FOBs I know are quite excited for Thanksgiving because they get all these great deals at Best Buy and Circuit City.

    You need to expand your DBD circle in that case. I am DBD, a decent number of my friends are DBD and none of us has bothered to ever wake up at some godforsaken hour and gone shopping so that we could save a few $$ Most of us either travel to meet whatever family we have in the US or else get together, cook some good food, drink beer and watch football. The kind you refer too is usually students in their first 1-2 years or H1-Bs who just got here.

  24. I love the idea of Thanksgiving and make the whole Thanksgiving meal with the turkey, sweet potatoes and the works! Of course I marinade my turkey with Indian spices put chipotle in my mashed sweet potatoes and make cranberry achar instead of the sweet relish. I remember my first Thanksgiving in the US, I was invited to one of the professors’ house for dinner. The said professor lived out in the country and I didn’t have a car and someone (who I didn’t know very well) was good enough to give me a ride. I was not too thrilled with the meal but I appreciated the gesture. I am thankful for my family and my friends who have been like my family, in all of these years away from my family at birth. And thanks to everyone at Sepia mutiny for putting up this great blog. I may not agree with you guys at times, but I always find your blog worth reading. Keep up the good work!

  25. Most of us either travel to meet whatever family we have in the US or else get together, cook some good food, drink beer and watch football.

    Ridiculous. when you can get a 500 Gig Maxtor Firewire/USB2.0 for half price? what are you on.

  26. Well, now you know what a FOB feels like. All the fellow FOBs I know are quite excited for Thanksgiving because they get all these great deals at Best Buy and Circuit City. Honestly, I can’t think of a single one who is depressed at this time of the year. They’re too busy spending their hard earned rupeez. Hmmm….most of the DBDs I know like to do Vegas on Thanksgiving. And a lot of CBCs (China born Chinese)too

    Is this a generalized naming convention: xBx, where x is first character of country name?

  27. You need to expand your DBD circle in that case. I am DBD, a decent number of my friends are DBD and none of us has bothered to ever wake up at some godforsaken hour and gone shopping so that we could save a few $$

    I think our fellow UberDesi was being jocular…well, I hope. 😉

    Chachaji, love the reminiscing. 🙂

    Yogi, that’s very kind of you. Thank you for reading. 😀

  29. “Well, now you know what a FOB feels like.”

    Thanks for the nod to FOBs, ANNA. I usually am not depressed around Thanksgiving: nice short break right before the end of the semester, to catch some extra sleep. I am more unhappy around diwali.

  30. While we’re making a nod to “FOBs” , let’s not forget the history of the first Thanksgiving, as it was a holiday introduced, by the very first “FOBs” – the ‘pilgrims’.

  31. Turkey and Yam are so 20th century. Cook Somali or Salvadoran for Thanksgiving this year. Besides yam sucks.

  32. My parents, who came to the US in that late 60s early 70s, really took to the holiday. Thanksgiving is sacrosanct in our house. For my family Thanksgiving represents a holiday where new immigrants (the Pilgrims) were thankful to be in a new land and were well received by the locals (the Native Americans). Our family tradition is to invite new immigrants to our house, to celebrate their first thanksgiving. Through the years Chinese graduate students, Serbian engineers, and Indian bachelors have spent their first thanksgiving with us, albeit turkey free.

    The vegetarian menu is a fusion of traditional thanksgiving vegetables (green beans, sweet potatoes, cranberries, pumpkin) with some Indian twists. The main course is Indian (things like wild rice pilaf, baby onion sambar), the sides and desserts are more traditional American. My mom has been making these Thanksgiving recipes for the last 30 years, so they are family tradition at this point. I’ll probably cook the same things for my children. We even have a set of dishes, centerpieces, and cornucopias just for thanksgiving. (like I said, my parents really took to the holiday)

    There are also some great fusion recipes on sepiamutiny contributed by mutineers in previous thanksgiving posts. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

  33. As a student I remember on the day of Thanksgiving (and Christmas break in fact) the parking lot’s in our apartment complex used to empty out. It was a very eerie feeling, like everyone in the complex (and the city) had disappeared overnight. The only cars left behind were the ones that were rusted and could not move, or they were owned by the desis.

    The first couple of years, we did go shopping, then we started getting together and eating at one persons place or another. But still as a FOB it feels weird when you see a “dead” city for the first time and then it hits you.

    Also living in a small college town, where restaurants and shops close, does not help.

  35. And a lot of CBCs (China born Chinese)too

    ah. memories of peking duck. another thanksgiving staple.

  36. Thanksgiving represents a holiday where new immigrants (the Pilgrims) were thankful to be in a new land and were well received by the locals (the Native Americans). Our family tradition is to invite new immigrants to our house, to celebrate their first thanksgiving. Through the years Chinese graduate students, Serbian engineers, and Indian bachelors have spent their first thanksgiving with us, albeit turkey free

    Did those new immigrants proceed to murder and rape you & your family after the feast?

    Sorry, I dont mean to be so pedantic on a fluff post. However, it’s very important to at least know the true history of how this holiday came to be, and how its shrouded in ‘nobelization’ I think it’s fantastic your parents have this tradition – but I think its quite problematic the 3rd grade “the pilgrims came over and had dinner” narrative of Thanksgiving is perpetuated.

  37. Twin Oaks Farms makes a mean soy chorizo.

    I’d love to find a soy or veggie version of Goan sausage. It shouldn’t be too hard, if they can do a soy chorizo, which is the closest thing I’ve found.

  38. I’ve been vegan for about four years now and always bring some vegan dishes and desserts to our family Thanksgiving dinner. For us it’s just another reason to get all the kids together and eat. Some of my family eats meat, so there’s a turkey, much to my dismay, but otherwise the food is a mix of South Indian staples and a few veggie side dishes. I don’t mind fake meat because, at the end of the day, IT’S NOT MEAT. And it has convinced some family of mine into reducing their meat intake—why have fatty, cruel, expensive and environmentally-degrading meat, when you can have fake stuff that often times tastes just as good and is far healthier and better for the planet?

  39. Somali and Salvadoran at thankgiving is like eating paella instead of pulao at Diwali, A_C. I went off the beaten path once. I decided on a game theme and made individual cornish game hens and wild rice and to this day, our friends laugh about the “Son of turkeys”. BTW Cornish hens taste like Indian farm-raised chickens, if anyone has a hankerin. Plus they cook in a flash.

  40. I had a vision of someone sinking her hands in pasty goo and patting it into a shape of a turkey whose neck totters and creaks into an unnatural shape.

    ah, memories of spam sculpting…

    let’s not forget the history of the first Thanksgiving, as it was a holiday introduced, by the very first “FOBs” – the ‘pilgrims’
    Sorry, I dont mean to be so pedantic on a fluff post.

    A hearty thanks to HMF for keeping it real. Happy Bloody Thanksgiving.

  42. Did those new immigrants proceed to murder and rape you & your family after the feast?

    Sorry, I dont mean to be so pedantic on a fluff post. However, it’s very important to at least know the true history of how this holiday came to be, and how its shrouded in ‘nobelization’ I think it’s fantastic your parents have this tradition – but I think its quite problematic the 3rd grade “the pilgrims came over and had dinner” narrative of Thanksgiving is perpetuated.

  43. While we’re making a nod to “FOBs” , let’s not forget the history of the first Thanksgiving, as it was a holiday introduced, by the very first “FOBs” – the ‘pilgrims’.

    Thanks HMF.

    Also, the Pilgrims were not the first to settle here. Another canard. Oh, and make sure to check these links before you dig into that turkey. Yummy indeed!! 😀

    For me, the holiday is simply a day to share a meal with friends – socializing rather than participating in any “Thanksgiving” tradition.

  45. Did those new immigrants proceed to murder and rape you & your family after the feast?

    Sorry, I dont mean to be so pedantic on a fluff post. However, it’s very important to at least know the true history of how this holiday came to be, and how its shrouded in ‘nobelization’ I think it’s fantastic your parents have this tradition – but I think its quite problematic the 3rd grade “the pilgrims came over and had dinner” narrative of Thanksgiving is perpetuated.

    Why him I not surprised about these comments by HMF.

  46. Santosh at # 34 This is a bit difficult since I don’t have a written recipe, it is pretty much like you make any achar.

    Ingredients

    Two 10z packs fresh cranberries. Ready made achar masala (2 to 4 tbsp depending on how hot you want your achar, this is usually a mixture of coarsely ground mustard, cayenne and turmeric) 1/2 cup canola oil 1 tsp mustard seeds 1 tsp cumin seeds 1 lime

    Chop up one bag of cranberries in the food processor, don’t overprocess and make a paste, mix it with the whole cranberries keep aside.

    Use a thick bottomed pan, heat a couple of table spoons of oil.

    When the oil is hot add mustard and cumin seeds, when the seeds begin to pop add the rest of the oil.

    Lower the heat to simmer, add the cranberry mixture, keep stirring at low heat, till the whole cranberries begin to get a little mushy.

    but are still intact. Taste for seasonings, add more salt if necessary (the achar masala sometimes has salt and sometimes not).

    Add juice of one lime and stir.

    Cool to room temperature pour into a glass battle.

    The top layer in the achar bottle should be oil, add more oil if needed. Keep in a cool place for 3 to 4 days, a week for the best results.

    This should keep for several months if you store your bottle in a cool dark place.

  47. Why him I not surprised about these comments by HMF.

    because they happen to be true, inciteful, and chock full of clues.

  48. My mom makes cranberry pickle which is so hot, I almost can’t eat it. It’s the spiciest pickle she makes and it’s gloooorious. 😉

    Clueless, HMF…to your respective corners, please. It’s a holiday.

  49. I’d love to find a soy or veggie version of Goan sausage. It shouldn’t be too hard, if they can do a soy chorizo, which is the closest thing I’ve found.

    If you ever find yourself in Chattanooga, TN, check out this restaurant, run by Seventh-Day Adventists (also have some other locations, but the Boston one closed 🙁 ). They make one of the most delicious and healthy foods I’ve ever had. You’re more likely to find a soy/veggie version of sausage here.

  50. Recipes! I’m gleeful. Thanks, Yogi B.

    And, hey, quit picking on HMF, he plays a vital role in keeping it real for everyone….else.